This was the guy who still took her breath away with one slow, sexy grin. Her mouth went dry.
He noticed.
Looking down at himself, he frowned. “Shoot,” he said again. “I probably smell to high heaven. I’m sorry.”
And before she could tell him that, no, she really didn’t mind that he wasn’t all spit-polished and clean, he grabbed the edge of that ratty, soiled undershirt and pulled it over his head.
Revealing a bronzed chest full of muscles over a six-pack of toned abs. And every bit of that skin was as smooth as silk.
Only then did she notice that he was unbuttoning his jeans. Right there in front of her. “Jarred, what are you doing?”
He looked at her as if she was crazy. “I’m going to wash up.”
“Here?”
“No, in the bathroom down the hall. There’s a shower.” Before he turned, he looked her way again. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” For a second, she tried really hard not to stare at the fine line of dark hair that ran down his stomach. But it was a futile thing. “I mean, it’s just, well… You’re gorgeous.”
He laughed. “Seri, I didn’t think you noticed.”
Oh, wasn’t that trademark Jarred? No modesty. No embarrassment that his shirt was off and his jeans were only staying up by a prayer. She tried to laugh, too. But instead of sounding merry, it just sounded strained and kind of restless.
Then there was only one thing to say. “I noticed. I’ve always noticed.”
There. Her silly, childish crush was out in the open. Now he could roll his eyes and put some much-needed space in between them.
Biting her lip, she waited one second. Two. Waited for him to laugh her words off. Or worse, get embarrassed for her.
But instead of doing any of that, he stepped a little closer and ran one finger over her lip. “You do that a lot,” he murmured. “You bite your bottom lip.”
It took everything she had to stand still. “It’s a habit.”
“Yeah?” Interest sparked his eyes as he dropped his hand. “I happen to have a few of my own.” He stepped a little closer, close enough for her to spread her legs a bit to accommodate his size. Close enough for the unbuttoned waistband of his jeans to brush against her shirt.
“What habits do you have?”
“I look at you too much. I think about your long legs.” He reached out and curved his palms over her hips, their heat branding her. “I think about holding you close like this with no clothes on.” He lowered his voice. “I think about kissing you night and day…”
Her hands went to his shoulders. “You do?” she whispered.
“Uh-huh.” He leaned closer. “Night and day,” he repeated softly, then he slid his hands around her backside and finally brushed her lips with his.
Years of restraint and proper behavior collapsed in a heartbeat. When their lips met again, Serena leaned closer hungrily. She tilted her head, opened for his tongue, felt his teeth knock against hers as he complied.
Oh, he tasted so good! Like hot summer days and the thick, tantalizing heat of July. He tasted like Jarred. And he kissed like a dream.
His hands reached higher, pulled off the elastic binding her hair. As her hair fell down her back, Jarred kissed her again, slower this time, nibbling her bottom lip, traipsing his lips across her cheek. Making her nerve endings practically scream.
She sighed.
He pulled away. Fingers still tangled in her hair, he looked at her square in the eye. “I like you, Serena.”
“I like you, too.”
He slid one hand down her spine. “I care for you and I think you’re lovely.”
That embarrassed her. She wasn’t anything special. “Jar—”
He kissed her again. Cutting off her response, tenderly deepening the kiss until she could hardly think straight, let alone talk.
And that was just as well because he seemed to have plenty to say. “I think you’re gorgeous. I love your legs. I love your pretty green eyes. I even love the way you give me what-for. But most of all, right this minute, I really love the way you’re looking at me—like you want me, too.”
“I do,” she said simply.
Pure pleasure lit his eyes as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a short hallway. Then, before she even had a chance to ask him where he was headed, he pulled her into what had to be the fanciest barn bathroom in the whole state of Texas.
And locked the door. Reached in the clear glass enclosure and turned on not one but two showerheads. And then reached for her again.
Steam filled the room as he kissed her breathless once more. A slow, sexy smile made her insides melt as he unbuttoned the rest of that fly and pulled his jeans down, somehow using the bootjack and pulling off his boots along the way.
Now clad only in a pair of black knit boxers, Jarred Riddell was surely every girl’s dream come true.
“You’re going to shower?” she asked idiotically.
“Uh-huh,” he murmured, reaching for her. “’Course, you are, too.” Nimble fingers untucked her T-shirt and pulled it over her head. Two seconds later, her bra hit the tile floor.
With great care, he reached out and cupped one of her breasts. As he ran a thumb over a nipple, he smiled. “Lord have mercy, Serena. You are a sight. Come get wet with me.”
She stood there, more than a little bit stunned by the chain of events as he slid his boxers off and walked into the shower. The glass door closed again as he stood under the spray.
As she unbuttoned her own jeans, she saw her reflection in the mirror. She’d never been a particularly shy girl, but the sight of herself, bare breasted, flushed from the steam, glowing from his kisses—well, it was a bit unsettling.
“Serena, you need some help, darlin’?”
“I got it.”
He opened the shower door and peeked out. “Can you get your boots off?”
She slid a heel in the jack and pulled. “I can.”
Then, she couldn’t believe it, but there he stood, shower door open, spray spattering out, steam sliding upward and slick as an otter. Watching her slide her jeans down.
When she turned to toss them on the counter, he moaned low. “Never imagined you were a thong girl, Seri.”
There was little to do now but push the scrap of lace down her thighs. “Is that a good thing? Or—”
Before she could finish the question, he snaked out a hand and yanked her inside. Hot water showered over her as he brought his lips to her own.
Eagerly, she pressed against him, tasting mint and Jarred.
His hands ran the length of her, getting to know her in the most intimate of ways. She ran her hands along his shoulders, moaned when his lips found the nape of her neck. And still the hot water rained down on them.
Now this was something she’d never imagined. Not even in her most vivid dreams.
But something in her reaction must have caused a thread of doubt. A wariness. Shifting them again so the water was only skimming off her shoulders, he gently lifted her chin. “I just realized I’m taking things a little fast. Are you okay?”
“With shower sex in a barn?” She almost smiled. “I’m okay.”
But he didn’t kiss her again. Instead, he carefully rearranged a handful of wet hair that had fallen over her shoulder.
“Serena, honey…this isn’t your first time, is it?”
“No…”
Instead of looking relieved, he tilted his head. As if he knew there was more to the story. “But…?”
“But I haven’t done this a whole lot.”
He waited a beat. “Once?”
“Twice. And, um, never in a shower.” As a little bit of the light fell from his eyes, her heart sank. Please don’t stop, she entreated silently. Please don’t make me wonder what being with you would be like….
He reached behind him and turned off the water.
Immediately, she chilled. “Jarred, I don’t want to stop.”
“I don’t want to, either,”
he replied softly, his voice a little tender, a little more strained. “It just, uh, occurred to me that I don’t have any protection in here. And, um, well, I don’t want to shock you by doing all kinds of things to you on the wall of a shower stall.”
Towels materialized out of nowhere. He wrapped her in one, then wrapped another around his hips.
Before she could ask where he did want to do all those things, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the office. Gently pushing her to the couch, he murmured, “Sit.” She pulled up her towel as he reached in a drawer, fished around and pulled out a packet.
And then, before she could even think to ask if what they were doing was right, before she could get chilled or even wonder why in the world he stowed condoms in his desk drawer, Jarred leaned close and claimed her lips again.
And then it was the most logical thing in the world to slip out of her towel and wrap her arms around him again. Feeling the heat of his skin, running her hands along the muscles of his back. Before she knew it, Jarred was lying on top of her, pushing her hair off her face, kissing her neck. Nudging her legs apart, covering himself, touching her, caressing her, murmuring sweet things.
Making love to her.
Serena wrapped her legs around him and held him close. Making love with Jarred was wonderful. Sweet. She had imagined it might be awkward, but it wasn’t. She’d thought she would feel self-conscious. She didn’t.
Instead, she savored each touch. The thrust of his hips. The way he coaxed her. Praised her. All too soon, they found release. She arched her back in pleasure, and hugged him tight when he did the same.
When they caught their breaths, Jarred gathered her close in his arms and kissed her again. “I’m so glad we did that.”
She looked into his eyes. He was such a handsome man. Such a good man, too. “I am, too,” she said. And she knew that whatever happened, she had spoken the truth.
For just a little while, she had been the only thing Jarred Riddell had been thinking about. The only woman on his mind.
He brushed his lips against her brow, her cheek. “I can’t explain it, but being with you is so perfect, you know?”
“You really think so?” Hope lifted her. Made her imagine a thousand days in his company, a thousand nights in his arms. Maybe everything would work out between them after all. Then she could look back on her years of infatuation with a fondness instead of as a multitude of wasted opportunities.
“I guess that’s because we’ve been friends for so long.”
“We sure have been,” she agreed.
His gaze warmed, and then he closed his eyes and kissed her again, lingering over her lips, making her heart melt. Making her imagine a lifetime of dreams…a lifetime of being together.
When he looked at her again, his eyes had turned a darker blue. “Yep,” he said around a sigh. “What we’ve got is just right. We’re friends, with benefits.”
With one sentence, she fell back down to earth. “Excuse me?”
Picking up a piece of straw that had found its way onto the couch, he popped it in his mouth, chewing it like a toothpick. “Well, I’m just saying that I doubt things will ever be this comfortable with me and anyone else.”
Will ever be? With anyone else? She was dreaming about fairy-tale happy endings while Jarred was dreaming about hookups with other women?
Dammit!
Serena’s mouth went dry as once again, she cursed herself for being such a fool where Jarred Riddell was concerned.
Pulling away, Serena grabbed her towel and stalked back to the monster bathroom.
After a moment of silence, she heard Jarred scramble to his feet and trot off after her. “Seri?”
Thank the good Lord she found her underwear right away. After slipping on her thong and her bra, she glared. “Jarred Riddell, are you really talking about having sex with other women just moments after bedding me…on a barn couch?”
“No.”
He looked so puzzled, so confused, her temper snapped. “Can’t you at least put some clothes on?”
Shifting his weight, he folded his arms over his chest, still as naked as the day he was born. “A little while ago I was gorgeous.”
Oh, when would she ever learn?
Turning from him, she grabbed her shirt and covered herself. She’d just stuck one foot in her jeans when he spoke. “Serena, what’s wrong?”
“Everything. We shouldn’t have done this.” After buttoning her jeans, she pulled on a boot.
Behind her, she could hear him finally getting dressed, too. “I wasn’t lying. I do like you, Serena.”
“I know.” Even to her own ears, her words sounded deflated. Or, maybe it was that she finally was getting smarter where he was concerned.
Though her eyes stung, Serena felt almost as though she was turning over a new leaf, right then and there. Because, well…there was friendship. And there was an unfortunate crush. But there was pride, too.
It was about time she found hers. With as much grace as she could, she slipped on her other boot.
Jarred watched her. “Will an apology even help? I really do care for you, honey. And what we shared, it was great.” He wrinkled his nose. “It was better than that. I promise.”
She shrugged. “Jarred, I’m not going to pretend that what we did wasn’t wonderful. But, maybe it’s time we both realized that it’s time to move on. See, the thing of it is…where you’re concerned…you’ve always kind of been my Achilles’ heel. There’s been pretty much nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. But it’s time I stopped that, don’t you think?”
Without waiting for an answer, unable to even guess what he was thinking, she started walking.
“Serena, honey, let’s talk—”
“There’s nothing left to say.” One pull of the door handle brought a welcome escape. Though Serena heard Jarred fussing behind her again—pulling on his boots, most likely—she forced herself to keep walking.
Yes, that’s what she needed to do. Just walk away. Walk away from the lessons and the stupid, silly crush.
Grow up.
And realize that Jarred Riddell was never going to be hers. Not in the way she’d dreamed about, at least. It was time she came to terms with that.
“Serena? Dammit. Wait!”
She was outside now, almost at her car.
“Seri? What the heck do you want?”
She wanted the whole shebang—love, marriage, babies. But she knew Jarred couldn’t give her those things.
That, of course, was why leaving was so easy.
After everything they’d shared, she would have thought it would have been extremely painful to leave without even looking back.
But, actually, it wasn’t difficult to do at all.
Chapter Twenty-One
It had been a long and tiring week. After futilely trying to call Serena and talk to her time and again, Jarred decided to table their problems until he was done fussing with Veronica. They only had one more scheduled date until he fulfilled his auction requirements.
Though part of him chafed at the idea of letting even more time pass before he patched things up with Serena, the part with a brain figured it was probably good to have some time to iron things out.
Fact was, he was confused. For pretty much most of his life, he’d always taken Serena’s friendship for granted. It had lain in the back of his mind like an old present. He’d appreciated her friendship, but he hadn’t pulled it out and examined it for a while.
Now that they’d done their lessons and he’d gotten to know her again…Jarred knew he was falling in love with her. Their little escapade in the barn had been a sweet bonus. Their intimacy had clinched it. What they had was special.
Then, somehow, he’d managed to mess things up. Much of the time since they’d parted, he’d spent hours remembering every minute they’d had together, making love. Trying to figure out what had happened. Had he been too rough? Had he shocked her?
But instinctivel
y, he’d known that hadn’t been it. Of course, it had been something he’d said. But what? Had she wanted professions of love while he’d said “like”?
Had she wanted promises when he hadn’t made any? Those were logical choices, but somehow that didn’t seem right, either.
He ended up just mailing her a check for her thousand-dollar bonus and calling it a day.
But finally it was Saturday and he and Veronica were halfway through their very last date. After going to Veronica’s door, she’d kept him waiting almost a half hour while she primped.
Then when she appeared, she spent another thirty minutes discussing her clothing and hair problems. Then he heard about her mother’s troubles.
He felt sorry for that. He felt sorry for both Midge and Veronica. But after another long tirade about the nursing staff and other frustrations, Jarred knew that he couldn’t take another evening like this again.
Then, just as they were walking to his Corvette, she delivered a whale of a question. “Jarred, just where do you see the two of us going?”
“In the future?”
“Of course. How do you want to take things next week?”
He didn’t want to take her anywhere. “Well…about that.”
“Just tell me how you feel.”
Oh, this was going to be bad. He’d kind of hoped they could drift apart after this evening’s date, but now—in the mother of all ironies—he was going to have to break things off with her. “Actually, I don’t think we’re meant for each other.”
“You don’t?”
“No. Truth is, I don’t think we suit.” He braced himself for a litany of insults. Of professions that he’d broken her heart. But instead of looking mad as hell and irritated, she looked…reflective. “What do you think about that?”
Slowly, she smiled. “I was actually thinking the same thing.” Placing a hand on his arm, she said, “Don’t get me wrong, I do like you. More than I thought I would. But, well, we’re pretty different, wouldn’t you say?”
Heck, they were as different as peas and peanut butter. “I would.” He pulled on his shirt collar. “Veronica, since I’m telling truths like nobody’s business, it’s probably time for a full disclosure. Fact is, I’m not who you think I am. Fact is, I’ve been living a lie.”
My Favorite Cowboy Page 16
