“What? Jarred, what are you talking about?”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. I shouldn’t even be going to dinner parties. I’m not the kind of guy who wears suits like this and does fancy stuff. Ever.”
“But you acted like it would be fun.”
“Only because you paid me to be with you.”
Shock splashed red on her face. “Only?”
He brushed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. See, this is a prime example of what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m no good. Fact is, I’m just as rude and crude and obnoxious as any other cowboy you’ve ever met. Probably worse than most.”
“No. You’ve been great. You have perfect manners….”
Feeling as if he’d taken truth serum, he started spilling his guts. “Well. Um. There’s a story to all that. It all started the first time I saw you. I thought you were beautiful.”
She rolled her eyes. “Enough about—”
“It’s true. I thought you were the prettiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. I wanted to get to know you. But the only way I could think to ever get some time with you was that auction. So I paid Serena Higgens to help.”
“To help how?”
“I paid her to help me become the man I thought you would like. She taught me how to open doors and use the right forks. She taught me to be good enough for you.”
A moment passed. Finally, she said, “I’ve seen the way Serena looks at you.”
“That’s the thing. While we were together, I started realizing that she’s the person I need. We’re better suited. I’m rough and tumble and have serious difficulties with double negatives. She’s okay with that. I never meant for my feelings to change.”
For a full five minutes, they sat in silence. Then she surprised him. “You know, I can understand what you’re saying. We don’t have control over our hearts, I don’t think. Things just happen.”
“Do you really think love is like that?”
A sad little smile lit her face. “I do.”
“What do you want to do about the dinner party?”
She chuckled. “You’d really still go with me?”
“I promised I would.”
Lifting a hand, she caressed his cheek. “You know what? I think you would. But if you don’t mind, I’d much rather go on my own. I think I’m going to tell everyone I’ve had enough of my rough-around-the-edges cowboy.”
“Are you sure?” He felt like the biggest heel imaginable. “You paid a lot of money…”
“Oh, don’t kid yourself, Jarred. You’re a good man. But that money was for charity. For orphans, remember?”
“I’m so grateful you’re not tarring and feathering me, I think I’ll give them a sizable donation myself.”
Veronica grinned. “See? Everything always works out for the best…sooner or later.”
When his dad took a turn for the worse late that night, Jarred hoped Veronica’s advice was the truth.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When his dad had started experiencing chest pains late at night, Jarred had called Serena from the hospital.
“I know I shouldn’t be callin’ you, but I need a friend right now,” he’d said.
And with those words, all the hurt she’d been storing inside her faded away. She would always be his friend. “What’s wrong?”
“Dad had another attack. It’s bad, Seri.”
Instantly, she’d offered to help out with Virginia. Even though Gwen had said she’d be fine with sleeping over for a few days, Serena wanted to help out as much as she could.
“Can you go to the house soon?” he’d asked.
“Of course.” She’d arrived only moments after everyone but Virginia and Gwen had gone to the hospital.
After visiting with Gwen a bit and saying goodbye, Serena checked up on the little girl. Ginny was sound asleep, so she’d settled in the guest room, then had done her best the following morning to ease Virginia’s worries.
Things with Cal Sr. had been iffy for a time. But finally his condition had stabilized and they’d brought him back home.
After that, she’d visited quite a bit. The adults in the house were tired, and Virginia seemed to enjoy being with her. Serena felt the same way.
Now, three days later, they were back at the ranch and sitting on the couch together. Over a tall glass of iced tea Serena found herself eyeing Jarred carefully and hoping things would settle down for the Riddells soon. Jarred looked plain exhausted.
“How’s your father doing today?” she asked.
After a good long pause, Jarred answered. “He’s not doing so good today, if you want to know the truth. He’s about the color of a bedsheet at the end of a season. Kind of gray.”
Worried about the lines that looked determined to settle in Jarred’s brow permanently, Serena scooted forward in her chair. “What can I do to help?”
“Not a thing. You’ve already helped a lot. I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t been here to help us out with Virginia.”
“I enjoyed being with her.”
“She likes you. We all do.” His gaze flickered across her face, across her lips, and softened with something that looked like love. “But I’m sure you’ve got other things to do.”
That was the problem. At the moment, nothing sounded as important or as dear to her as staying there. “I can’t think of anything else. Since Hannah is working at the library tonight, I’ve got nothing but time on my hands. Do you mind if I stay here a little longer? Penelope is up to her ears in trouble again.”
Jarred smiled. “That horse is a menace to society. She’s really accident-prone for a Tennessee walker.”
She played along with the silly conversation. “I heard that breed is like that. Nothing but trouble. So, you don’t mind if I stay for a while?”
“Of course not. I’d love your company.” His eyes flickered over hers. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“I don’t mind.”
“Then please stay. I need you.”
The air between them stilled. Her mouth went dry.
As she looked into his eyes, at his need…and felt her own yearnings for him surface as well, everything else in the room faded away.
When Jarred stepped closer and linked his fingers through hers, her pulse jumped a bit. So did her mind. Now all she could think about was wrapping herself around him again.
Which was a very, very bad idea.
Squeezing her hand, he murmured, “So…do you want to go outside?”
It was hot out. The temperature was most likely hovering in the eighties. Fireflies and crickets and frogs were out in abundance, too. So was the humidity.
But as usual, none of that seemed to deter her from what she wanted most—to be in his company. “Sure.”
It seemed only natural to take his hand and she followed him outside to the back porch.
Still holding his hand, she walked to the edge of the patio and looked out. Breathing deeply, she smelled the earth. Smelled the fresh-cut hay and the faint scent of horses and felt the heat radiating from the ground.
She leaned a little closer to him. “It’s awfully nice out here.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
They stared at each other. A hundred promises, mixed in with almost as many regrets, hung unanswered in the air. “Serena, you’ve been a good friend to me. You’ve helped me in all kinds of ways over the years.”
“You’ve been a good friend, too.”
“Can we ever get back to normal?”
She didn’t know how they could. She wasn’t sure what was normal with Jarred anymore. Was it teaching him how to be with another woman?
Accepting his help when a certain banker got a little too fresh?
Was it normal kissing him in a barn? Doing so much more?
Tension filled his eyes as he searched her face. “Serena, are you ever gonna tell me what I did wrong?”
She sighed. “Jarred—”
“When we were together, did I
do something wrong? Do you have regrets—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Well, besides saying all the wrong things, she supposed. But maybe all that wasn’t his fault. Maybe it was more like hers. After all, he’d never promised her anything. She’d been the one imagining they could go from friends to lovers easily. “It has more to do with me than anything.”
“What do you mean?”
She bit her lip. “Can we not talk about it just yet?”
“Don’t you think we should?”
“Not right now.” Talking about things would only make things awkward between them. She’d embarrass him with her dreams of a future and he’d say all the wrong things again.
“You know I’m going to bring it up again.”
“Maybe next time you do, I’ll feel like talking.”
“Hope so.” Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, loosely holding her in front of him. Because she was in no mood to fight the wonderful feelings he gave her, she relaxed against him. Letting her shoulders rest against his chest. As always, her body seemed to fit just right next to his.
When she leaned her head back against him, he adjusted his hands, linking his fingers low across her hips. His scent surrounded her, drawing her closer to him, making her let her guard down.
She sighed. “This is nice.”
“It is. I’m glad we came out here.”
His lips were on her neck. Messing with her mind.
Though she knew no good would come of it, she turned in his arms and looped her hands around his neck. His blue eyes danced. Then he lowered his head and kissed her once again. Wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
Serena kissed him right back, meeting his lips, opening her mouth so he could gain entrance. Jarred curved his arms around her middle and stepped closer. And the kiss deepened.
Only when she needed air did they separate.
But when she looked into his eyes, it was obvious nothing had changed. Jarred Riddell liked kissing her, that was true.
But really, there was nothing else there.
Oh, she needed to get away from him. “You know what, I think I’ll go now.”
“Now what’s wrong?”
There was so much tension and irritation in his voice, she finally snapped. “What’s wrong, Jarred, is nothing new. What’s wrong is I’m in love with you.”
“Huh?”
“Come on. Do you really think I would have slept with you just because we’re friends?”
He coughed. “Serena, listen. I care for you, I do.”
“Oh, I know, Jarred.” Moments passed. After he said nothing else, just looked at her, all confused and miserable, she nodded. “All right, then. I think I had better get going.”
“Serena, listen, maybe we could talk some more—”
“I think we’ve probably talked enough. Actually, let’s not talk for a while, okay?”
She left him standing there in the dark.
She hoped she’d know better than to ever stop by again. A girl could only take so much.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As Serena sped down the expansive Riddell driveway, she knew she was in a heap of trouble. What had she been thinking? Making out with him on his back porch.
He wasn’t hers.
Furthermore, she’d made sure of it!
She was thinking about things she shouldn’t be thinking of. Imagining a future with Jarred that had nothing to do with simple friendship and everything to do with waking up next to him every morning.
Being over at Jarred’s home, being in his arms, it was magic. Voodoo magic. After kissing him, then kissing him again, she’d been ready to do just about anything he’d wanted.
Shoot. She hadn’t been sitting around waiting for him to make the moves; no, she’d had an agenda all her own. And it sure hadn’t been something her mother would have been proud of. Because basically, she would have taken off every stitch of clothing she’d had on with just a little bit more encouragement. Things between them had been that good.
And that was bad.
She didn’t often speed around Electra, but at the moment, driving her Corolla at the speed limit had no appeal. She took curves a little too fast, and sped down the hills faster than she ever had in her life.
Around her, woods filled with pine trees and oaks stood sentry in the evening.
She put her windows down and felt the breeze blow back her hair. Smelled the earth. Felt free.
Oh, it felt so good to be reckless! That, of course, was something she never was.
That little statement was a joke if she ever heard one. She’d been reckless with Jarred. She’d allowed her feelings to take control. And then she’d done everything she could to push him toward somebody else.
Someone who would never truly appreciate him like she did. In front of her, the road narrowed and began a slow incline. She was nearing the entrance to the town.
Her heart rate slowed along with her speed.
And as she was returning to reality a pair of deer popped out of the woods and leaped toward the road.
She swerved and slammed her foot on the brake.
Just in time to meet the second animal head-on.
Her windshield cracked as she screeched to a stop, then slid into a ditch.
When she came to, Paula McCall was peering close, her expression a sea of worry. “Serena? Serena, are you okay? I was driving the other way when I saw those deer come out of nowhere! Oh, my goodness! Look at your windshield! I think that deer’s rack broke right through!”
Bleary, she opened an eye and tried not to cry in pain.
Paula pulled out her cell phone. “I’m going to call an ambulance. Don’t move.”
That advice wasn’t hard to follow. As Paula talked on the phone, Serena moved her arms and legs. Nothing felt broken but her body felt beaten up. As much as she dared, she opened the other eye. “Thanks for stopping.”
“No problem. They’re sending someone out right now. We’ll take you in to the urgent care to be on the safe side.”
Her surroundings flashed and swirled. Oh, she was about to lose consciousness. Shooting pains shot through her leg and zipped directly to her brain. Before everything went black, she muttered, “Paula, I’m just going to rest for a bit.”
In the vague recesses of her brain, through the dense fog, she heard Paula’s reply. “Hang in there, honey. Help is on the way.”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER?”
Junior curled one large hand around his arm. “I’m not sure, but I heard it’s nothing too serious. She’s bruised and beat up. Maybe a concussion?”
It all sounded serious to him. “Dammit. She should have called me. I would have taken her here.”
“I think Paula found her. Settle down, now. Serena’s going to be fine.”
Jarred’s temper flared. “I’ll settle down after I see her.” Looking at his watch, he said, “A whole hour’s gone by. Why do you think they haven’t come out to tell us what’s going on?”
His brother shoved him into an uncomfortable plastic seat. As Jarred sat with a thump, Junior stepped in front of him. “You’ve got to lower your voice and stop carrying on. If you don’t, all you’re going to be seeing is the front door of this place.”
Unclenching his hands, Jarred nodded. “I hear you.”
“Good.”
Antsy and still worried sick, he fought to think of something else. “So, do you know about Serena’s car?”
“I know it’s totaled. But cars can be fixed. And Serena’s getting fixed up, too.”
The peaceful, almost zen tone in his brother’s voice irked him like nothing other. Jarred jumped to his feet and jerked away from Junior’s restraining hand. “I’m fine. Don’t grab me again.”
“Then act fine. What has gotten into you? I know you like Serena, we all like her. But it’s not like she’s your girlfriend…”
“She might be.”
“Might?” Junior gave Trent a none-too-subtle look of exasperation
. “What happened to Veronica?”
“You know what happened. We didn’t suit.”
“And now, after all this time, you’ve decided you and Serena do?” Trent asked.
“It’s not like that. I’ve had feelings for her for a while.”
But instead of being cowed by his tone, Junior folded his arms over his chest. “Shoot. We all knew that.”
Maybe pride was overrated. “Y’all did?”
“She’s always been yours…at least from where Trent and I’ve been sitting.”
“We’ve been buddies.”
“And more.” Junior cleared his throat. “Have you told her?”
“What?”
“That you love her?”
“Not in so many words.” Why hadn’t he? Was he so afraid of falling in love that he was willing to jeopardize everything he had with her?
Junior bent his head down. “You know, just because Dad had bad luck with women doesn’t mean you will.”
“Dad didn’t have bad luck…” But even as he said the words, Jarred knew that had been the heart of the problem. The best woman in the world—his mother—had left them too early. And then his father’s second wife had taken off, too.
And he, being the oldest, had decided the only way to keep his heart in check was to not give it away.
So, he’d fooled around with women who didn’t mean much. And he’d yearned for a beautiful girl who seemed pretty much unreachable.
And he’d kept the person who he’d fallen in love with nearby, but not too close. In case something happened to her. So he wouldn’t get hurt again.
But in spite of his best intentions, the worst had happened anyway. She’d gotten hurt…and he was only now realizing that she’d had his heart for some time. Maybe for most of his life.
He’d just been too scared to acknowledge it.
Yep, the truth was as obvious as a cow with colic. He was completely, totally in love with Serena.
“Let’s go talk to the nurse,” he murmured. “I can’t stand around and wait any longer.”
My Favorite Cowboy Page 17
