Soaring Free

by Becca Van

  Nothing could change the past but she could damn well control her future.

  She pushed the covers aside and hurried toward the adjoining bathroom. Maybe after a hot shower she would feel more herself. Besides, she always had her work. Her career had been the one constant in her life and she clung to it like the lifeline it had become. Working was what kept her sane. If she didn’t have that she was scared she would break apart and never be able to put the pieces back together again.

  After her shower, she wrapped a large fluffy towel around her body, brushed her wet hair, and braided it to keep it out of the way. Joni loved her hair and, although she got it trimmed twice a year and often thought about cutting the weight off, she’d never been brave enough to do something so drastic. Her mom used to spend a long time brushing the tangles out and Joni had cherished the quiet moments as her mother’s lilac scent and touch of her hands portrayed the love she had for her. She missed those times and even though she was lonely, she endured, taking each day one step at a time.

  When she comprehended where her thoughts were drifting again, she blanked her mind, brushed her teeth, and then entered the bedroom. She froze in her tracks when she saw Gabe sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” He stood and walked toward her.

  Joni crossed her arms over her chest when her nipples pebbled and shifted on her feet when her pussy began to ache. She met his eyes briefly before her gaze skittered away. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

  “I brought you some clothes.” Gabe pointed to the bundle on the end of the bed. “One of us will take you shopping later. Breakfast is ready and waiting for when you’re dressed.”

  Joni bit back a whimper when he stroked a finger down her cheek. His nostrils flared and his pupils dilated and she had a feeling he could see what her body was doing, but she tried to keep her face expressionless.

  “Don’t take too long, honey. You don’t want the food to get cold.”

  She shivered when his finger caressed over her shoulder and down her bare arm and just as she parted her lips to moan, he turned and hurried away, closing the door behind him. Joni sank down onto the edge of the bed, her legs trembling and weak, making her unsure if they would hold her up any longer. When her thighs brushed against each other she felt moisture on her upper legs as they slid with slickness and Joni knew she was in deep shit. But what concerned her most was their dominant tendencies. If she got involved with them, would she lose herself because they ruled over her?

  That was one of the reasons her mom had left her father. He’d been so controlling, picking on her about every little thing and in the end he’d never let her go anywhere unless he was by her side. Joni had been so scared of her dad because every time he opened his mouth it was to yell at her mom and in the end, he ended up beating on her. That had been the last straw for her mom and they’d left.

  Could she trust her growing feelings for these three men? Could she trust them not to hurt her even when they wanted to hit her? Joni shook her head. There was no way she could get involved with them. What she should be doing was leaving and heading back home, but for some reason she just couldn’t make herself do that.

  When she was dressed in the borrowed sweats and sweater, which she’d had to roll down and up in appropriate places so they wouldn’t fall off or swim on her, she headed out to the kitchen.

  Nic looked up when she entered and walked toward her. “You okay?”

  She nodded, keeping her head down, hoping he wouldn’t see how embarrassed she was over falling apart on him last night.

  “Look at me, Joni,” he commanded in a quiet, yet firm voice and she found herself complying with his demand. “Don’t be ashamed of feeling, baby. You had every right to cry last night.”

  She nodded and would have stepped around him but he placed a hand on her shoulder and she found herself meeting his eyes. He gently pulled her into his arms and pulled her up against his body. She closed her eyes and breathed in his wonderful sandalwood and masculine scent and melted against him. She just couldn’t seem to help herself and wanted to stay wrapped up in his warmth and comfort for the rest of her life.

  Joni stiffened and felt the blood drain from her face as that thought coalesced. She pulled away and hurried over to the table and sat down. When Tom placed a mug of coffee in front of her, she lifted trembling hands and wrapped her cold flesh around the warm cup.

  “Joni, what’s wrong?” Tom asked.

  She shook her head and pressed her lips together and tried not to flinch when Tom clasped her chin between his finger and thumb. But she wasn’t flinching because he scared her. The complete opposite, in fact. She liked the way they touched her and didn’t know what to do about it. “I need to go home,” she blurted out.

  “Not happening, Joni,” Gabe said in a hard voice. “Until we know who the hell is after you, you’ll be staying here.”

  “And how long will that be? I have no idea who did that to my place. For all I know it was a drug addict looking for money or stuff to sell.”

  “Do you really think an addict would cut up your clothes?” Tom frowned.

  Joni shrugged as if she didn’t care, when inside she quaked with fear. She wasn’t stupid and knew that someone had it in for her, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out who. She’d never done anything wrong and hadn’t made any enemies. Not any that she knew of anyway.

  The only person she could think of was her father but that couldn’t be possible because he was locked away in an institution for the rest of his life.

  “Detective Gary Wade will be here any minute. He’s a friend and I can tell you now he won’t want you going back home where you’ll be in danger,” Nic explained. “Do you have anyone else you can stay with?”

  Joni was about to nod but for some reason she found it really hard to lie to these men and her damn body betrayed her by shaking her head. She sighed with resignation and frustration when she finally lifted her head and glanced at all three of them. They had their arms crossed over their chests and there was dogged determination in their eyes. She had a feeling the only way she was leaving was if she snuck out.

  “Don’t even think about it.” Gabe pointed his finger at her and gave her a fierce look. That dominant action sent her body into haywire. She drew in a ragged breath when her nipples hardened even more, if that were possible, and her pussy throbbed and clenched, drenching the sweatpants.

  “I don’t have to do what you tell me to.” Joni cringed when her voice came out all breathless and soft, as if she didn’t believe the words she’d just spoken. “I’m not a child.” This time she spoke forcefully. Thank god she’d found a little backbone.

  What was it about these men that made her want to lie down with her throat exposed? She’d never been a pushover before, so why was now so different?

  “Oh believe me, baby, we all know how much of a woman you are.”

  Joni met Nic’s eyes and her heart stuttered when she met his potently desirous gaze. And just like that she felt like she was drowning in his brown, hungry eyes. She was hardly aware of him moving closer to her as his chair scraped on the tile floor. Her lids lowered to half-mast when the palm of his hands cupped both her cheeks and she couldn’t help staring at his mouth when he licked his lips.

  Whether she blinked, she was uncertain, but in the next instant his lips were on hers. Her lips parted on a sigh and then she moaned as his tongue glided along and twirled around hers. Her body heated from the inside, liquid desire running through her veins until she felt as insubstantial as jelly, but excitement coursed through her, too, making her tense.

  Her hands lifted and then she was clutching at Nic’s shirt as the heat simmering inside began to rage out of control. She felt like she was burning alive and yet she didn’t feel any pain, only a deep aching throb inside that was pleasurable. Warm, large, strong fingers pried her own from the shirt she was gripping and then her wrists were grasped and her arms were pushed behind her back.


  She whimpered with delight as those hands brought her wrists together and shackled them in one large, firm yet surprisingly gentle grip. Because of the hold she was in, her chest was pushed out and her achingly hard nipples brushed against a warm cotton-covered chest, and it didn’t seem to matter that she also had a sweatshirt on. Each brush ramped up the ache and the yearning to have her nipples touched to appease the throbbing was so insistent she tried to pull her hands free to do it herself.

  The hand holding her wrists tightened as if in warning and she relaxed, but pressed her chest out even more and sighed with relief when the pressure on her nipples eased the throbbing slightly.

  He tasted so damn good she wanted to kiss him until her lips were sore and her jaw ached. When he curled his tongue around hers and sucked it into his mouth she mewled and sighed and gave herself over to him. She wanted, needed, for him to do whatever he wanted with her. She wanted him controlling her body, her responses, but most of all she wanted his hands on her.

  Nic broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers and she blinked, slowly coming out of the sexual stupor she’d been in. Joni couldn’t believe she’d just let Nic kiss her, let alone kiss him back as if she was starving for him. She moved back and tugged her hands from his hold and hated the way her face heated with mortification, and knew her face would be so pink she probably looked like she was sunburnt.

  “Joni, look at me,” Nic commanded.

  She shook her head and blinked back the tears of shame, but one leaked from the corner of her eye and spilled down her cheek. She flinched when a hand snapped out and peered up when the pregnant silence become too fraught to ignore.

  “I was going to tug on your braid,” Nic said in a soft, raspy voice. “I would never, ever hit a woman, child, or you.” He pushed his chair back, rose to his feet, and began pacing. “Who the hell hurt you, Joni?”

  “No one,” she answered and reached for her nearly cold coffee, before taking a sip. When her eyes alighted on the food her stomach rolled and the thought of eating made her feel sick.

  “That was a blatant lie,” Gabe snapped.

  She tried to ignore him but should have known he wouldn’t allow it. She looked up when he stood and then he was squatting down in front of her, and he placed a hand on her thigh. She shivered and cursed mentally when she saw him watching her and knew he’d seen her telltale reaction.

  “Joni, we are all very attracted to you and you can deny it until you’re blue in the face, but we know you feel the attraction, too. We want the chance to have a relationship with you. We could give you so much pleasure, honey.”

  She opened her mouth to say what, she didn’t know, but Gabe placed a finger over her lips and halted her before she could speak.

  “I don’t want you say anything right now. Just think about what I’ve said. We would never take from you what you aren’t willing to give, so don’t ever be afraid of us or what you’re feeling.

  “But if you decide you want to explore this thing between all of us, you are going to have to tell us everything, Joni. That means no secrets. You will tell us what you’re feeling when we ask.

  “For a relationship to work between a sub and Doms there has to be total trust. Do you understand?”

  Once more she opened her mouth and again she didn’t know what she was going to say, but she sighed with relief when the doorbell sounded. She’d just been saved by the bell, literally and figuratively.

  Gabe muttered a curse, rose to his feet, and hurried from the room. Nic moved his chair away from hers a little and sat before reaching for the now cool food and, without a word, grabbed a piece of toast and topped it with lukewarm eggs.

  “You’re not leaving the table until you’ve finished eating that.” Nic pointed at her plate and gave her an authoritative stare.

  Joni had the childish urge to poke her tongue out at him but didn’t want to pull the tiger by the tail. She picked up her knife and fork and, after the first bite hit her tongue, her stomach rumbled. Although it wasn’t very hot anymore, it still tasted good and before she knew it she’d cleaned her plate.

  She heard voices in the other room just before Gabe and, she presumed, Detective Gary Wade entered. Gabe sat on her other side and Gary sat across from her.

  “Joni, this is Detective Gary Wade. Gary, Joni Meeks.”

  “Hi, Joni, I’m pleased to meet you. I just wish it was under better circumstances,” Gary said.

  “Me, too.”

  “So do you have any idea who could have trashed your apartment?”

  “No.”

  “What about an ex?” Gary suggested.

  “No,” Joni replied immediately. The asshole knew that if he ever came near her again he’d be back in jail, and besides he’d moved clear across to the other side of the country, or so the officer who’d helped her press charges had told her the last time he’d called to see how she was doing. He was a nice man and although she knew they could have been great friends, she’d kept her contact with him to a minimum, not wanting to be reminded of how stupidly naive she’d been. She’d wanted to try and forget that part of her life but knew it was impossible.

  “Are you sure? Sometimes guys can get really pissed if they’re dumped.”

  “No.”

  Gary glanced at Gabe and then back to her. “Gabe told me you were fired from your last job. Does your previous employer have a grudge against you?”

  “Not that I know of,” she said and then went on to explain why Gerrard had let her go.

  “Okay, but I’ll still need to check him out.”

  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Gary asked.

  “No.”

  “Parents?”

  “N–no.”

  “Friends?”

  “Other than Kara. No.”

  Gary frowned and Joni didn’t know what was going on but all four men looked at each other then back at her. “The forensics team didn’t find any prints, so whoever broke in wore gloves. Do you think it could have been any of the other building’s residents?”

  “It’s possible.” Joni swallowed nervously.

  “Do you know any of the people living in the building?”

  “Mr. Rosenberg. I only say hi to the other people in passing. We don’t socialize with each other.”

  “And what apartment does Rosenberg live in?”

  “1B, right next to mine.”

  “Hmm, the elderly man, right?”

  Joni nodded. “Did you interview all the residents?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did any of them see or hear anything?”

  “I’m afraid not. Not that they’re admitting to, anyway.”

  Joni rose to her feet and began to gather the dishes since everyone had finished eating.

  “Leave them, love. I’ll clean up.” Tom reached for the dishes in her hand but she sidestepped and took them into the kitchen.

  “I need to do something to show my appreciation for looking out for me, and then I am going to catch a bus into town, get some new clothes and go to work.”

  “I don’t think that’s—ˮ

  “No you’re not,” Gabe stated emphatically. “You’ve just had a scare and need to take it easy for a day or two.”

  “No.”

  “Damn it, Joni.”

  “No. I don’t care what you say. I am going to work.” Joni had already put the dishes on the counter and as she spoke she turned to face Gabe with her hands on her hips. There was no way in hell he was going to tell her she couldn’t work.

  “Fine, but if I see you are flagging, you’ll be coming straight home.”

  Joni shrugged and turned her back on him. She wasn’t going to be going home with him or his friends. Her car was still at the hotel and when she’d finished her shift she was going back to her own apartment to start cleaning up the mess. She didn’t care that she would have to sleep on the floor. There was no way she was staying another night under their roof because she wasn’t sure if she could keep her hands to h
erself.

  It didn’t matter that she liked being near them, liked being held by them, or touched and kissed by them. She needed to steer clear and that was exactly what she was going to do.

  Chapter Eight

  Gabe couldn’t get Joni’s answers to Gary’s questions out of his head. Every time he’d asked her about family, friends or an ex-boyfriend who may have wrecked her place she’d negated it with an emphatic no. Did that mean she didn’t have any living family? Did she have no friends or ex-boyfriends?

  No she had friends, at least one, because she’d gone to the club to meet Kara. Maybe he should call and try to wrangle more information from her, but he didn’t think she’d be any more cooperative now than she had been that night. He sighed with frustration as he filled another drink order.

  It had been nearly two weeks since Joni had stayed the night at their house and even though he and his buddies had tried to convince her that she would be safer staying with them she’d held her ground.

  He, Tom, and Gabe had taken turns driving by her place to make sure she was okay but there was nothing they could do unless she wanted them to. He was getting damn tired of her ignoring them. Oh, she was polite and answered when asked a question and spoke when necessary, but the distance between them felt so much more than it had been before.

  He was in a constant state of arousal and no matter how many times he jacked off, it didn’t help, and he knew he wouldn’t be satiated until he had Joni underneath him and he was buried balls-deep in her hot, wet pussy.

  At first he was a little disconcerted about how cool and distant she seemed but she couldn’t hide her body language from them. They were experienced Doms and were trained to read every nuance of a person’s actions. Joni was fighting them but also herself. She was fighting her attraction to them and that made him wonder if she’d had any experience with men at all. The more he watched the more he doubted she’d been with anyone and if she had, the fucker hadn’t known the first thing about how to treat a woman.

  “Hey,” Gary said and sat on the barstool.