Pride and Groom

by Gibson, Tannya

She wondered where Zoe would be sleeping next. Lexi would only be able to offer sleeping bags on the floor and as cozy as that could be, she didn't expect to be taken up on it. Zoe's king-size bed came to mind and she pondered the odds that she would be invited to share it.

  This started speculation as to how long she should wait after Brenda was gone to ask Zoe to move in. She had a vague notion that if Brenda had died she should wait a year, but Brenda wasn't dead and she had been gone six months already. Did that mean she should wait a few months because Brenda had come back for a spell? How long did decorum dictate before she could get on with her life?

  Finances were not a problem as long as no more big expenses came up for a while. She would have to take her time getting replacement furniture and Freddie's dreams of interior decorating would have to be carefully managed, but money was not a big concern. She spent quite some time trying to figure out how and when to ask Zoe to live with her without seeming callous or acquisitive and came up with no answer.

  Zoe shifted sleepily to her side, mumbled indecipherably and settled back to sleep. Cricket jumped onto the bed and curled up at her back with a sigh. Lexi held her breath to hold in a joyous giggle. It was silly to be so affected by such small things, but it was beyond her control.

  In spite of the coffee she had been drinking, Lexi began to yawn. Dawn was not far off if the color of the night sky was to be believed. She padded out to turn off the coffee pot and returned to find Zoe sitting up in bed.

  "Go back to sleep, babe."

  Zoe rubbed her eyes with one hand and reached for her with the other. "You're up early."

  "I've been up," she corrected as she tossed her robe on the chair. "I'm coming back to bed now."

  Zoe pulled her into the circle of her arms, still warm from sleeping, and gathered the covers up. "You're cold."

  "And you are toasty warm." Zoe's breathing evened out quickly and Lexi let the rhythm of it draw her down.

  ~***~

  Zoe woke her up at nine with coffee and kisses. "The guys will be here soon," she prompted. "I didn't know if you wanted a shower or not."

  When Lexi came out of the bathroom later, Jay was scrambling eggs while Zoe demonstrated the dance routine The Superlatives had taught her. Freddie had the pizza parlor photo hugged to his chest and was watching her raptly. Lexi was able to refill her coffee cup and sit down at the table without distracting anybody. She was just finishing her plate when she understood that they were behaving in a light-hearted manner in order to minimize her stress. As they were being so entertaining she decided not to say anything.

  Glancing at the clock, Lexi went to the bedroom and began folding the blankets. She was stripping the sheets from the mattress when Zoe came in.

  A look of stunned disbelief came over her features. "She's taking the bed?"

  Lexi chuckled primarily to ease Zoe's distress. "Yes, she is. But she's not getting any bedding to go with it."

  "Does she expect you to sleep on the floor?" Zoe's voice was rising.

  "I don't think she cares where I sleep as long as it's not on her bed. Besides, I've got a lot of blankets and comforters, so sleeping on the floor is really quite comfortable and I'll get another bed before too long."

  Zoe pushed the bedroom door shut with her foot. "Okay. I understand that sleeping on the floor is not the end of the world." Her voice was tight and controlled. "I even understand that it can be comfortable and you are probably not without the means to get a new bed. But this is intolerable."

  "Do you really like this bed?" Lexi put as much incredulity as she could in her voice. "I mean, I'm used to it, but it's pretty old and it's not going to last much longer. Especially after the way we mistreated it yesterday." Zoe started to smile. "She sold me the refrigerator, maybe she'll sell you the bed if you want it." She rolled up the dirty sheets and mattress pad and stuffed them in her closet as Zoe started to relax.

  "I'd like you to sleep at my place tonight," Zoe finally said. "Do you prefer one side of the bed more than the other?"

  Lexi pretended to think it over. "I like the bottom." Zoe moved like a striking snake and she couldn't help but shriek as she was dumped on the bed and pinned. There was no way to avoid being tickled and Lexi screamed hysterically.

  Zoe stopped as Freddie stuck his head in the door to tell them that Brenda had arrived. "Thanks," Zoe smiled at him. "I'm establishing my dominance at the moment, but we'll be right out. Stall her, okay?"

  "Establishing your dominance?" Lexi laughed as Freddie left grinning.

  Zoe poised her fingers for more tickling. "Do you dare to defy me?" she asked with a wicked leer.

  "You're the boss!" she agreed quickly. "You're the boss!"

  Zoe eased off but remained bent over her. "Maybe later I'll let you be the boss for a while."

  "I'd like that," Lexi teased.

  Brenda's look of shock when they came out of the bedroom was priceless. Lexi recognized the helpers as Jan and Pat. She had never known their last names and she didn't really know them, but she knew that they were basically good people. "Would you like some coffee?" She wanted this to go as smoothly as possible and being gracious seemed the best hope for that. "There's a fresh pot and cups on the counter, so help yourself if you change your minds."

  Per Jay's instructions, Lexi sat down at the table to read the paper he had brought specifically for this purpose and let him handle things. Zoe sat next to her and watched Brenda relentlessly. "What are you doing?" she asked quietly while Brenda was outside.

  "Do I look dangerous?"

  "Not to me, but I've seen you naked. Are you trying to drive her crazy?"

  "I'm trying to look unpredictable."

  "You look stoned."

  Zoe frowned at her. "Give me the crossword puzzle."

  Lexi dug it out and Zoe bent to it with a pen. The next time Brenda came inside, Zoe tipped her head back and chewed on the cap. "Freddie? I need an eight letter word for blunt force trauma."

  Lexi lifted her own section of paper a little higher so she could hide her grin.

  "Do you have any letters?" Freddie asked.

  "First letter B: fourth letter D."

  "Bludgeon," Jay suggested after a moment of thought.

  "Thanks." Zoe leaned over the paper and scribbled busily. "Let's see," she mused. "I know this one." Zoe spelled aloud as she wrote. "A. U. T. O. P. S. Y."

  "Give me another one," Freddie requested.

  "Okay. How about asfix…asphyxiate? What does that mean, Lexi?"

  It took all of her will power to answer with a straight voice. "It means to strangle."

  "Um…not enough letters. I need nine."

  "Suffocate!" Freddie called out.

  Biting the inside of her cheek was all that kept her from falling to the floor in a fit. "Please," she hissed through her teeth. "Don't make me laugh."

  "They're outside arguing," Zoe said a moment later. "You can laugh if you make it quick. I think I'll go offer to help."

  "Don't do it," Jay said seriously. "We're halfway through the list and our goal is to have this over with no more malice than necessary."

  "Okay," Zoe pouted. "I was just trying to have fun."

  "I didn't say you couldn't have fun," Jay grinned. "Just keep it at the table."

  Lexi got up and made herself a glass of ice water while she got her hilarity under wraps. She returned to the table and Zoe pushed the crossword puzzle towards her.

  "Check it out," she suggested. "I finished it."

  Expecting a ploy, Lexi glanced at it and realized it was a note.

  "Every time you look at me-every time you touch me-I swear I can feel your hands holding my heart with the most exquisite tenderness. There will never be anyone but you. I love you."

  Lexi melted. "I love you, too," she said softly. Zoe was watching the movers again through the front window and Lexi reached out to rub her forearm. She casually looked out the window herself just as Brenda stooped to pick up Cricket. A gush of fear that Brenda would take h
im propelled her to her feet and down the front walk. "I'll take him," she said nervously.

  Brenda turned a cool look on her. "Afraid I'll steal him?"

  Lexi held her breath until Cricket was in her arms and hurried him into the house. She didn't relax until he was locked in the backyard. Avoiding worried looks from Zoe and her friends she slipped into the bathroom to collect herself. She had been afraid that Brenda would take him because she had been the one to bring him home in the first place. She had rescued him from the pound for her, but Lexi wasn't sure that Brenda would choose to remember that. Having the house stripped of furniture she could handle, but she would fight to the end for her dog.

  She opened the bathroom door just as Brenda passed by and she dropped her eyes in an attempt to avoid notice.

  "Tell your pet freak I'm not afraid of her," Brenda jeered.

  Lexi experienced something very like a power surge. "She's not a freak!"

  Brenda sniffed and turned her back. "She's probably not a she either."

  Lexi stepped forward to snatch the hair right out of her head and was grabbed up from behind before she could reach her. "How dare you!" she screeched after her. "You take that back!"

  "Lexi!" Zoe spoke sharply against her ear. "Stop it!"

  Lexi turned in Zoe's arms as she was lowered to the floor. "Didn't you hear what she said about you?"

  Zoe's face was calm, but serious. "You said you could handle it. I told you this sort of thing would happen and you said it was no problem."

  "How can you just let it go? Don't you care what people think?"

  Zoe held her by the arms intently. "No, I don't. Nothing she says can hurt me; those nerve endings died a long time ago. What I care about is what you think. And it will hurt me if you try to beat up the world because folks are mean to me. She knows I'm a woman, Lexi. She just wants you to hit her. Think of the power that would give her. Don't give it up so easily."

  Lexi felt a crushing heartache for Zoe and deep shame that she had tried to hurt Brenda for a few spiteful words. She started to cry and was pulled into Zoe's arms. "I'm so sorry," she wept.

  "I know, love. Believe me, it's not always this hard. She can still get under your skin, that's all."

  Zoe led her back to the dining room and snuggled her in her lap while Jay and Freddie brusquely directed the final items to be taken, including the bed. Her house looked empty now with her remaining belongings haphazardly stacked along the walls. Imprints of the furniture were still embedded on the carpet and she could see how badly she needed to paint. Freddie was muttering in Spanish and Jay was tight-lipped.

  "It feels like I've been robbed," she bawled. "I know it's her stuff and I'm glad to get her out of my life, but I feel violated." Zoe held her tighter. She was still crying when Jay and Freddie came to comfort her.

  "It's over," Jay announced. "She's gone and there's no reason for her to come back."

  " Ay, mi nena, no llores," Freddie crooned. "Freddie le va a arrancár el corazon a ésa puta por lo que te hizo. Ella es como una llaga infestada en el culo de todas las lesbianas pordoquier."

  Lexi understood almost nothing of what he said, but his tone of voice struck her as funny and she was suddenly laughing through her tears.

  "Cuando séa necesario," Zoe said, "díme lo que necesitas. Yó sere tu acomplice o te ayudaré a establecer tu cuartada."

  "You speak Spanish?" Lexi could not have been more surprised and she sat up to get a better look at her.

  "I learned while I was living down in New Mexico." Zoe grinned as Freddie clapped his hands excitedly. "I didn't like how Hispanic people were treated by gringos, so I switched sides. Come to find out they were a lot more interesting and fun to be around."

  "Finally!" Freddie exclaimed. "Someone will understand my jokes!"

  "Don't count on it," Jay quipped.

  ~***~

  Lexi fell asleep on Zoe's couch while watching TV later that afternoon. She woke briefly as she was tucked into bed and let Zoe remove her clothing before sliding back into dreams. When next she awoke the alarm clock by the bed said it was almost midnight. She was still alone in the huge bed and she wrapped up in a blanket before going in search of Zoe.

  She found her in the workroom soldering what appeared to be cell bars for her nephew's police station with the radio on so low it was barely audible.

  "Did I wake you?" Zoe asked.

  Lexi shook her head and snuggled up to her back with her arms around her. "I was lonely. Can I stay with you?"

  Zoe began to sway from side to side on her stool. "I'm not having much success here. I'd be more than happy to come to bed."

  "No, this is nice." Lexi let herself drift and was almost asleep on her feet. Before long, Zoe put her things away and turned off the radio. She led Lexi back to bed and Lexi spooned her from behind. "Say something to me in Spanish," she requested sleepily.

  Zoe was silent a moment, then began to speak. "Tú eres el amor de mi vida. Yo nunca me aprovecharé de ti o abusaré de ti a sabiendas. Yo me ofrezco a ti como amante, esposa, protectora, y para servirte estoy. Yo te voy a querer en salud y enfermedad, seamos ricas o pobres, en tiempo buenos y tiempos malos, por todos los días de mi vida. Esto lo hago yo libremente y sin reservaciones, estando entre tus brazos o sin ellos."

  The cadence and rhythm of it was like a song and Lexi let it pull her emotions. When Zoe fell silent, she sighed. "What did you say?"

  "That I love you. Go to sleep, amante."

  "You said more than that."

  "There are many ways to say 'I love you'," Zoe said with a yawn.

  ~***~

  Lexi left Zoe asleep in the bed. Wanting Zoe to know that she would be coming back, she left Cricket with her. It was still early so Lexi went home first to change clothes. Her house seemed strange to her and she wondered how long it would take for that feeling to go away.

  At the Murdocks, her first order of business was coffee. She found that half of the residents used the smell of coffee as a wake up call and that made her job easier. As they started to poke their heads out, Lexi greeted each one and helped them with their clothes as needed.

  "Something has made you very happy," Nana said as she came into the room.

  "I'm the same as always," Lexi asserted.

  Nana looked at her with piercing eyes. "Liar. Something has happened."

  Lexi sighed. "Can we get breakfast out of the way before we talk about it? There's a lot to tell you."

  "But you are happy, yes?"

  A silly grin forced its way onto her face. "Very. Now get dressed." She got everyone into the dining room, gave them all their various medications and injections, then announced that she was taking orders for breakfast. The usual routine was to make one thing, usually a warm cereal with toast or English muffins, but this morning she felt generous. It made breakfast more difficult, but it made all of them feel that today was going to be special.

  After cleaning up, she sat down with her grandmother at the table to visit. It wasn't long before everyone except Mr. Levin and Mrs. Halvorsen had joined them and wanted to know what was going on. Nana had made sure that everyone knew Lexi was a lesbian a long time ago. Mr. Levin and Mrs. Halvorsen were upset by it, but had learned that it was better not to say so in front of Nana. The others seemed to be fascinated by it. They didn't approve of lesbianism per se, but they liked Lexi. She wondered sometimes if they didn't see her life as the equivalent of a train wreck and couldn't help but look.

  It was hard to explain the last couple of weeks to so many people all at once. It felt risky and dangerous, but they all seemed so interested and they drew her out with questions. When she told them about Brenda's claims regarding the rent and the house, she received a long lecture from them all about being married and the difficulties of being totally committed to another person.

  "You need to have a common goal," Mrs. Standish insisted. "Something that you do together. Me and my husband had our children, but I don't suppose you will ever have babies of your own,
so you will need to pick something else. Maybe one of you will work harder at it than the other one and maybe one of you will spend more money on it, but it has to be something that is important to both of you. The marriage can not work without a purpose to bind it together."

  "She's talking about a house," Mr. Blackney snorted. "I had our house in my name and my wife never complained that she wasn't important."

  "Times are different now," Nana said. "You were married, but my Lexi can not be married. You knew that your wife would get all of your property if you died. If Lexi dies, they will make me take it because I am her relative. Even if she loves someone for 30 years, they still get nothing."

  Mr. Blackney frowned uncomfortably and Lexi could see him struggling with ideas that he had never faced before. The fact that he was even willing to think about the issue made her respect him more.

  "It is not a real marriage unless everything is shared," Mrs. Standish said.

  "And if it doesn't work?" Lexi asked. "Am I supposed to risk losing my house?"

  Mrs. Benson reached out a fragile hand and patted her arm. "A woman should have the means to start over in case something terrible happens, but Mrs. Standish is right. If you will risk all of your heart, how can you not risk all of your belongings?"

  "It's not just my house, though. It's also my business."

  "Your business is in your skills, not your location," Nana said. "Your clients will come to you if you are working out of a cardboard box on the sidewalk. True?"

  Lexi conceded the point.

  "Well, I think she did the right thing," Mr. Blackney grinned. "After all, it didn't work out with what's-her-name. I hope you threw her out on her ear."

  Lexi filled them in on the previous day's activities. Mr. Blackney scowled, Mrs. Benson and Mrs. Standish clucked and Nana shook her head sadly.

  "How much did she take?" Mr. Blackney wanted to know.

  "Let's see. I have a dining table and chairs, nightstands, some lamps and a stereo left. She took the rest."

  They were all quiet and Lexi brought them more decaf coffee. Nana finally broke the silence.