Back to Life Series Box Set

by Danielle Allen

  “Getting you to your room,” he answered, carrying me in his arms through the door and across the lobby. “Which floor?”

  Chapter 5

  Friday, January 13th - 2:44 a.m.

  CJ had only put me down once in the elevator, where he switched me from being cradled in his arms firefighter-style to giving me a piggyback ride. Even though I hadn’t been on my feet for more than thirty seconds since we’d gotten out of the car, I kicked off my heels the moment we crossed the threshold. As we moved further into the hotel room, I rested my nose against CJ’s neck and inhaled deeply.

  Mmmm… he smells so good.

  I held him tighter, relishing in the smell of him, the feel of him. I wanted to hold on to him for as long as possible because I knew he’d probably be gone soon. And even though I was ready to get in the bed, it wasn’t because I was necessarily tired. It was because my legs were starting to throb.

  I probably shouldn’t have skipped the medication.

  “Is your girlfriend going to be okay with you coming home so late?” I asked innocently.

  CJ smirked as he craned his neck to see my face. He hoisted me up higher, readjusting me on his back. “Is that your way of asking me if I have a girlfriend?”

  “No…” I grinned. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get in trouble.”

  “I don’t get in trouble. You, on the other hand, have trouble written all over you.”

  “Wouldn’t you like to see and find out?” I teased flirtatiously.

  “Like I said… Trouble.” The short laugh was deep in his chest. “Is right here okay?” CJ asked as he neared the couch.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  He placed me gingerly in front of it and peeled me out of my coat. He turned to toss my coat onto the lounge chair and as soon as his hands were off of me, I collapsed.

  “Oh shit,” CJ exclaimed. He wasn’t quick enough to catch me as I crumpled into a heap on the soft cushion.

  Unable to deny my pain any longer, I squeezed my eyes tightly and let out a wail. My hands flew to my thighs as I frantically massaged the muscles that surrounded the rods.

  “What can I do? What do you need? Do you have anything?” CJ spit rapid-fire questions at me as he crouched down in front of me. Brushing the hair off of my face, I felt his eyes assessing me. “Talk to me.”

  The way his presence calmed and soothed me was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I let out an audible sigh and opened my eyes.

  My heart stopped.

  I knew he was close, but he was inches away from me. The pain in my body stopped for five whole seconds as I stared at his lips and thought of how easy it would be to kiss him. My tongue ran from one corner of my mouth to the other before I met his eyes again.

  “What do you need?” CJ asked.

  “I have pills beside that bag near the door, please.” I pointed toward the bedroom area. “And a bottle of water in the refrigerator.”

  He was up before I finished my sentence, at the refrigerator before I could turn to stretch out my legs and back beside me before I could finish getting comfortable on the couch.

  “Take this.” He poured two capsules into the palm of my hand and then handed me one of the bottles of water in his hand.

  I popped the pills in my mouth and took a swig from the bottle. “Thank you.”

  He nodded as he stood above me, observing me. Even as he rolled up his sleeves, he never broke his gaze.

  I continued drinking, realizing how thirsty I’d become. I tried not to be thrown by how he was watching me. It wasn’t a look filled with pity, but with genuine concern. The intensity of his stare was overwhelming. I wished I could’ve blamed the water that spilled from the corner of my mouth on just his look alone.

  “Are those pills to help with the hole in your lip?” CJ’s deep voice joked as he took a seat beside me.

  I burst out laughing as I wiped my mouth. “Shut up!”

  I pushed his shoulder before returning my hand to my thigh as I continued massaging the sore muscles. I stared at my legs and noticed that they weren’t shaking anymore. I was still in pain, but it was manageable—being off my feet and out of those heels helped a lot.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked after my giggles trailed off.

  I lifted my eyes to his and swallowed hard. The simple question birthed an unrelenting torrent of emotion inside of me. I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself from telling him anything and everything. I felt like I was in confession and I wanted to tell him my life story. The way I felt in that moment proved that there was nothing more alluring than feeling safe.

  In the noiselessness that surrounded us, I felt the safety net CJ’s presence provided and I slipped. As he stared into my eyes, I felt myself succumbing to the weight of the emotional toll my life was taking on me. I felt the heaviness of the loss of the life I’d planned for myself and of the loss of the future I’d planned with my husband. I felt the hurt and betrayal of Anthony colliding with the security and desire CJ evoked. A door was opened and my emotions slipped out.

  My finger skated along the corners of my closed eyes.

  Once I was sure no tears had leaked through, I was met with a stare that called to something deep within me. I was rendered speechless.

  I opened my mouth, letting out a couple of gulps of air, and then, losing my nerve, I shut it. The same thing that was driving my attraction to him was also keeping me from succumbing to the pull I felt deep within for him. It was way too intense.

  “Hey…” CJ called to me softly. He lifted my legs and slid under them. Draping my legs across his lap, he was close enough that I could stretch up and touch his face if I wanted.

  “Hey…” My heart fluttered.

  Reaching out, the tips of his fingers softly grazed my skin. His hand slipped between my head and the couch cushion I was resting it on to cradle my face. Using his thumb, he stroked my cheek gently and I watched his eyes drink me in. Between his touch and the look in his eyes, I caved slightly and allowed myself to lean into his hand.

  He licked his lips and my eyes followed his tongue. “Do you need me to take over?”

  I nodded, not completely sure what I was agreeing too.

  The second CJ’s large hand gripped my thigh, my breath hitched and whatever it was between us paralyzed me. I liked him—he was a likeable guy—but combined with my attraction to him, he was irresistible.

  “Is that okay?” CJ asked as he applied the perfect amount of pressure to my rigid legs.

  My eyes fluttered shut and my head would’ve fallen back if CJ wasn’t cradling it in his palm. “Yes,” I panted.

  He didn’t say anything, but even I could hear the wantonly sexual way in which I’d just answered him. I was going to reiterate my answer in a more dignified way, but he switched legs and started massaging the other one.

  A loud, sexually explicit moan reverberated through my body and the room.

  Even he couldn’t keep quiet about that one as he pulled his hand from under my head.

  “I’m that good,” he quipped in amusement.

  I giggled despite myself as I lifted my head to glare at him. “You’re okay, I suppose.” My legs were already feeling better.

  “Bullshit.” He reapplied pressure in a different direction and I moaned again. “Like I said, I’m that good.”

  “I can’t help it!”

  “I guess you’re right. You didn’t know I was this good with my hands.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You are so—mmm…”

  My sentence trailed off as he started using both hands, massaging both legs at the same time.

  My entire lower body contracted as I let out a whimper and rotated my body.

  “And you were saying?” His already deep voice had a little fire in it as he dug his fingers into the muscles. Although denim separated us, the heat of his touch made it feel like he was touching my bare skin. “What was that you were saying, Emily?”

  “That feels so good.” I grasped
the couch cushions and squeezed as tight as I could in an attempt to not make the noise that so desperately wanted to spring from my lungs.

  A deep rumble of a short laugh was his response. “That’s what I thought.”

  As he said it, I noticed he shifted my legs toward his knees a little. It was a discreet move, but it didn’t go completely undetected. I dropped my eyes and although his body position and arms prevented me from getting a clear view, I was certain that he was getting aroused.

  The idea of him getting hard turned me on. The idea that he was thinking about me in a sexual way made my nipples hard. The idea that touching me and hearing the noises he was bringing out of me made him want me dampened my panties.

  “Cedi,” I whispered as moving my body gradually, letting my legs settle to where they were when he’d first put them in his lap.

  He cleared his throat, but said nothing. He continued his massage.

  I smiled.

  CJ hadn’t shown any interest in me at all. He rebuffed all of my advances throughout the night. But in my hotel room with his hands on me, his body was unable to deny what I’d felt since the moment I caught a glimpse of him in the mirror behind the bar.

  He was just as attracted to me as I was to him!

  Sex with CJ was a little fantasy I’d entertained in December, but ultimately ruled out due to his lack of interest—and because revenge sex was rarely a good idea. But as his fingers worked their magic and took the pain away, I started thinking about other areas in which magic could be worked.

  Because he certainly looks like he could make magic happen. I bit my lip. Two…maybe three times.

  I hadn’t had sex in months due to pre-surgery, surgery and then recovery. Even when I was well enough for sexual activity, my doctor suggested that we wait until I was able to get the hormone shots. So two months’ worth of sexual energy was stockpiled inside of me and the sexy CJ Addo would be the perfect person to help me relieve some of the tension.

  Rebound sex with a quality man who looks like this? Yes please! Operation Seduce CJ is back in progress.

  I flicked my eyes upward to find CJ watching me, watching him. His touch became slower and more methodical as the seconds passed.

  “Cedi,” I whispered, leaning forward.

  He swallowed and his forearm twitched. “Emily,” he warned, his voice sounding strained as his hold on my upper thigh tightened.

  Placing my hands on his forearms, my eyes followed the path as I trailed my fingertips up toward his shoulders. My heart beat wildly when I met his heated gaze. Each breath was shallower than the last as the gap between us closed.

  “Yes Cedi?” I shifted my body, pulling my legs from his lap so that I was able to get closer.

  He closed his eyes and let his head drop back. “You’re going to have to stop saying my name like that,” he groaned sexily.

  I leaned forward, putting my lips to his ear. “Why, Cedi?”

  Before he had a chance to respond, I twisted my body as gracefully as possible and straddled him. The pain in my thighs dulled as the ache between them met the bulge in his pants.

  We moaned at the same time.

  Almost instinctively, CJ placed his hands on my hips, his fingers flexing against the stretchy denim. His chest rose and fell steadily as if he were taking quick, even breaths. His bottom lip was lodged between his teeth as I felt him growing beneath me. He lifted his head slowly and the way he looked at me caused the pull deep in my belly to intensify.

  “I want you,” I breathed as I brought my face closer to his, my hands on his shoulder. I gave him a little massage and he sighed sexily. Our lips were so close that my nose grazed his momentarily. I moved my hips in a circular motion. The friction alone was winding me up and if I continued to do it, I knew that action alone would send me over the edge. “And I think you want me, too.”

  “Emily…” He closed his eyes momentarily and let out a deep breath. One of his hands ran up the side of my body and his fingers tangled in my hair. He brought me down so that we were only separated fractionally and my mouth hovered over his.

  “Cedi,” I begged, my voice dripping in want. My nipples were so hard they hurt and pleaded to be touched. “Kiss me.”

  “I want to,” he groaned, pushing my hips down harder against his cock. “I want you.” He fisted my hair, tugging my head back and exposing my neck. “Badly.” He planted a kiss against the exposed juncture where my collarbone and neck meet. “But we can’t do this.”

  Momentarily, I froze.

  Poised above him as I straddled his lap, my heart thumped in my chest. Unsure of if I heard him correctly, I pulled back from him. The new position had me peering deep into his brown eyes and I felt overwhelmed.

  Pull it together.

  With his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me in place, CJ searched my face.

  Rolling my shoulders back, I pretended not to notice his eyes dip and linger on my hardened nipples before returning to meet my gaze. I took a deep breath and attempted to steel myself, protecting my ego from the bruising I felt coming my way.

  “You don’t want me?” I asked for clarification. My hushed voice shook with shock and horror as the question came out in one breath.

  I didn’t want to come off as desperate, so I felt the heat rising up my neck and face as soon as the words were out of my mouth. But I was so confused. I heard him basically tell me he didn’t want to do anything with me, yet the biggest, hardest erection I’d ever felt was beneath me.

  Taking one of my hands, CJ placed it on his dick. “Does it feel like I don’t want you?”

  My mouth was agape as I felt how thick he was. Looking into his eyes while his hand covered my hand as it rubbed his hard cock took intimacy to a new level. My want for him only strengthened.

  He openly ogled me as he licked his lips. Squeezing my hand, forcing my fingers to try to wrap around his girth through his pants, CJ’s deep voice questioned me again. “Does it feel like I don’t want you?”

  “No,” I breathed, looking at his bulge and then back into his eyes. “But you said that we can’t do this. And that sounds like you don’t want to…”

  Kiss me. Touch me. Fuck me.

  Removing our hands from between us, he grabbed my hips and pulled me back on top of his hardness. Adjusting himself so that our faces were close, CJ stared at me with a look that blended want with wonder.

  “You have no idea how much I want to, Emily. I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to touch you. I want to taste you. I want to feel every single part of you.” His fingers flexed against my hips with each admission. “There’s something about you.”

  His words poured over me like honey—thick, sweet, raw and natural. My stomach flipped.

  “So, why?”

  CJ reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear before returning his hand to my hip. “Because you’ve been drinking.”

  My eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not drunk.”

  “You’re not sober,” he countered. “And you just took a pain pill.”

  “I started thinking about you long before I had my first drink.” I paused. “And obviously, way before I took my pill.”

  “I don’t want you under the influence of anything when we have sex for the first time.”

  My stomach flipped again.

  His resistance was aggravating because it made me want him more. I was horny and honestly, being dictated by my overeager sex drive and my desire to just feel good.

  I moved against his thighs, hoping his hand would slip down and grab my ass. “I know it’s cliché to say, but I don’t usually do this.”

  He smirked. “Bullshit,” he uttered huskily as he pushed his hips upward, connecting with my clit and causing me to cry out.

  My face flushed because I knew how it looked. “I’m serious,” I giggled, holding up my right hand. “I swear! This would be the first time I had sex with someone I met the same night.”

  As unbelievable as he seemed to think it was, it was the truth. I wasn’t
a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I never got down with the one-night stand. I’d had sex on a first date before, but that was, at the very least, our second meeting. I’d never had sex with someone I’d just met the same night.

  But I’m definitely trying to change that tonight.

  I couldn’t really put into words why I’d be willing to abandon a thirty-two-year record of no one-night stands for CJ, but there was no denial on my part that if he was willing, I would’ve been naked in seconds.

  “That’s even more of a reason for us not to do it.” His hands slid up and down the fullness of my hips as he stared at the hardened peaks of my breasts. “Tonight anyway.”

  I heard everything he said and I believed him. But the little seed of doubt and rejection nagged at me for the briefest of moments. I tried not to feed into that tiny part of me that felt snubbed. But being cheated on was a tough pill to swallow. And being cheated on with someone who wasn’t younger, prettier, smarter, or had a better personality was mystifying when the cheater was never intending to leave the relationship.

  The ego bruises easily when you’re vulnerable, I reminded myself as I flashed CJ a smile.

  I didn’t normally feel embarrassed. I’d been interested in guys who weren’t interested in me and that never bothered me. But with CJ it stung a little more than I wanted to admit.

  I didn’t have any illusions about what it was that was between us. I wasn’t in love with him or anything. I liked what I knew about him, but I really didn’t know much. He seemed to like me and care about my overall well-being, but he didn’t know much about me either. I knew that the reason I wanted CJ, the reason I felt so drawn to him, the reason I thought my heartache could be remedied on his dick, was because of how safe he made me feel. After finding out that my marriage wasn’t safe, finding someone who felt safe, who made a point to make sure I was safe, and who offered me protection with no strings attached was kryptonite to my inhibitions.

  In my fleeting hesitation, CJ must’ve seen something in my eyes.