Back to Life Series Box Set

by Danielle Allen

  He shook his head as he narrowed his eyes at me, but there was still a hint of a smile lingering on his lips. “I texted you so this wasn’t a surprise and I told you last night I would take you to get your car since I wasn’t okay with you driving, friend.” His eyes scanned my body slowly. “And let’s be real about who the real seductress is. And aren’t seductresses women?”

  I gave him a mock serious look. “Don’t be sexist.”

  He laughed. “I’m not. What’s the male equivalent to a seductress? A seducer.”

  “A seducer?” I scrunched my face. “That doesn’t have the same je ne sais quoi. A seducer just sounds like you’re trying to seduce me. A seductress sounds like you got yourself all dolled up”—I pointed at his outfit—“and then you purposefully tried to tempt me.”

  “Oh no.” He shook his head slowly and then let his eyes devoured me in a painstakingly slow way that made each hair on my body stand on end. “You, my sexy seductress friend, are the one trying to tempt me.”

  “Don’t try to turn this around on me because you know what I think…” I tilted my head to the side. “I think you like me,” I sang as I danced my way to my coat. “You wanted to hang with me.” I slid the coat on my arms and then slipped on my silver cross-body bag. “You wanted to spend time with me.” I did a 1990s-style dip with my hips as I sauntered to him, still singing. “Because you like me.”

  My song and accompanying dance moves cracked CJ’s tough demeanor and the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile and a rumbling laugh escaped. “Bullshit.”

  My loud laugh joined his and all seemed right with the world. When our amusement died down, we just stared at one another with the span of ten feet between us.

  “So…about this morning,” I started, shifting my feet back and forth. I looked down at the carpet before making eye contact again. “I um…”

  He shook his head. “We don’t have to talk—”

  “No,” I interrupted, wrapping my arms around my waist. “It needs to be said. You have been an incredible friend to someone you just met. I know there’s something between us. But I’m not in a position to explore it. I am…still married. Even though the relationship is over, I have to deal with the aftermath of that. And I admit…” I shifted my weight again in my soft leather boots. “Once I was no longer in pain, I wanted to…have sex for the wrong reasons. Well some of the reasons were wrong.” I giggled.

  He smirked, but said nothing.

  “I just—I don’t want you to think that I’m something that I’m not. I don’t want you to think… I don’t know. The assumptions that people make when…” I closed my eyes for a moment, shaking off everything that was difficult for me to say so I could get to my point. “I just want to say I’m sorry for throwing myself at you, for not telling you my relationship status before throwing myself at you, and for…for putting you in a weird position.”

  “You don’t have to apologize for that.” His deep voice was soft, almost a whisper.

  “You’re a good man, Cedi.” I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him in a quick hug. “And I’m honored to have you as a friend.”

  CJ’s arms tightened around me and he dropped a quick kiss on my forehead. He said nothing at first, but when I took a step back, away from him, I could see a swirl of emotion in his eyes. He put his hands on the side of my head and brought his face closer to mine. “I don’t think any less of you. I don’t think anything negative about you.” He searched my eyes. “You’re a good woman and the only reason—” He swallowed hard. “Your husband is an idiot.”

  I placed my hands on top of his and nodded. We held that position for a beat too long and something shifted. The air between us was tight with tension and each breath was shakier than the last.

  Dropping his hands from my face, we both took steps back. “What time do your plans start?” He asked, looking down at his watch.

  “I’m going to December. Addy invited me. Those are my big plans for tonight.”

  “Oh!” His eyebrows raised fractionally as surprised registered on his face. “Well then, let’s go.”

  CJ opened the door for me and as I walked through, I allowed myself a moment to let my lashes flutter closed as I inhaled his cologne.

  He smells so good.

  “Emily?”

  My eyes flew open. “Yes?”

  “I asked if you had everything.” CJ gave me a perplexed look. “What’s on your mind?”

  I averted my gaze and started walking toward the elevator bank. “I have everything. Thank you.”

  With his long legs, he caught up to me in a matter of seconds. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I hit the elevator button over and over again. “It’s nothing.”

  Folding his arms over his chest, he glared at me until I was forced to turn my entire body and look at him. “For this friendship to work, you have to be completely honest with me.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Same.”

  “What were you thinking about?” He asked.

  “Why did you and Vanessa break up?”

  The elevator dinged and we just stood there staring at one another.

  “Are you getting on or not?” A woman snapped shaking us from our standoff.

  We shifted our gaze to her and silently acknowledged her presence.

  “After you,” CJ said with a smirk, holding the door open.

  I passed him as I entered the elevator and pursed my lips. “No, after you.”

  We were quiet until the woman got off of the elevator on the second floor. When it was just us, we stared at one another again until we burst out laughing.

  “Vanessa and I broke up for a number of reasons. She’s a good woman and I have nothing bad to say about her, we just didn’t see eye-to-eye on a number of things. For one, she wasn’t a creative type and she didn’t see the vision of December. For two, she wanted more than I was willing to give her.” CJ gestured for me to exit the elevator car and he followed behind me. “I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we’re cool. If we see one another, we talk. I still called her to tell her happy birthday.” He put his hand on my lower back and guided me in the direction of his car. “Now your turn.”

  “I was thinking about how good you smelled and then I was trying to figure out what cologne that could be.” I looked over at him. “See? Nothing.”

  “Oh that’s something.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Thank you,” I said as he helped me into his car. “What then?”

  He closed my door before he walked around to slide into the driver’s seat.

  “What then?” I repeated as he started the car.

  He looked at me, and with a serious expression, sang, “I think you like me. You think I smell good. You want to hang with me. Because you like me.”

  I screamed with laughter. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t even get my seatbelt buckled because my body quaked with amusement and uncontrollable giggles. I couldn’t remember a time I laughed so hard or so loud.

  The short drive to December was full of playful banter and nonstop talking. The only time our talking slowed was when we ordered burgers from a popular Atlanta-based fast food spot. We ate in the car and continued talking until we were interrupted by Big Mike outside of December.

  “Well, well, well… what do we have here?” Big Mike’s booming voice carried as he stopped talking to the people at the door in order to address us.

  “Emily and CJ,” I answered with wide-eyed naivety, extending my hand to him.

  “No, no, no.” Bike Mike’s smile grew as he shook my hand. “I mean, what do we have here between you two?”

  CJ looked between us. “Space. Air molecules. Probably carbon monoxide and other pollutants. You know, global warming and all.”

  Big Mike glowered at us as we didn’t give him the answers he was looking for. “Answer the question with the truth.”

  “It is the truth,” I responded gent
ly. “It’s an inconvenient truth.”

  Unable to control ourselves, CJ and I fell into each other as we snickered. We were holding each other up as we fell apart in a fit of giggles. Big Mike wasn’t even able to keep his annoyed expression as we laughed.

  “Did you get it?” I asked, gasping for air. “He said—And then I—” My sentence broke off as another round of laughter overcame my body.

  Big Mike chuckled under his breath. “I hate you both right now. Cracking up over a damn Al Gore reference.” He shooed us away. “Go inside so I can do my job.”

  CJ patted him on his back as we bypassed him.

  We descended the stairs and as soon as Addison and I locked eyes, I started grinning.

  Wearing a moss green dress that looked so beautiful on her brown skin that my jaw dropped, Addison glowed.

  “You look beautiful,” I exclaimed, embracing her as soon as we met in the middle of the entryway.

  “You look gorgeous! I love your hair pulled into a bun like that. You look like a sexy ballerina.” She looked over my shoulder. “Hey, Addo!”

  “Hey Addy, how’s everything looking tonight?”

  She smiled. “Looking good… like you two.” Cocking her head to the side, she gave me a look before shifting her gaze to CJ. “So what’s going on? I heard you left together and I see that you’re arriving together. It’s not hard to make the assumption that you two are a thing.”

  “We are a thing.” CJ stepped closer to me. “A friendship is a thing.” He laughed at Addison’s sour expression. “I’ll put your coat in my office, Em.”

  I slipped off my coat and Addison whistled. “You look hot, Emily! Absolutely gorgeous. Isn’t she gorgeous, Addo?”

  He had just finished removing my coat and his touch lingered on my skin.

  I didn’t know why I looked at him as we waited for his answer, but I did. Our eyes met and then his words grazed the surface of my skin giving me goosebumps. “Yes she is.”

  The pull I felt for him in that moment reverberated all over my body. It wasn’t just his words, it was the way he said them and the way he looked at me as he said them.

  As soon as he left with my coat, Addy lowered her voice and stepped closer. “What the hell was that?”

  “I don’t know what you’re—”

  She shook her head and held up her hand interrupting me. “Nope. I’m not giving you the opportunity to lie to me.” She checked her watch and gave me a mock serious look as she continued her excited scolding. “Customers are going to start coming down the steps in sixty seconds. I’m here until Roberto gets done with some things I’m having him do. We are going to go to my office and have girl talk and none of this ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ bullshit.” Her eyes lifted and settled behind me. “Welcome to December!”

  I slinked away before she could convince me to have a slumber party and spill my guts there, too. She was so engaging and excited that she made me excited! But the truth was that there wasn’t anything to tell.

  I’m married and need to resolve that. He wants to be friends and I get it. My eyes happened to land on CJ as he was talking to two women in leotards who looked like dancers.

  I tried not to stare as I made a beeline for the bar. Taking a seat, I sat and watched him direct them and then relay messages to the DJ. He exuded so much raw power and magnetism that it was a turn on watching him work.

  It felt like only twenty minutes had passed but the place was packed compared to Thursday night. There were more people in December at that time than there were just before midnight on Thursday.

  I took a sip of my drink. Although they were fully staffed and had four bartenders working, CJ went behind the bar to make my lemon drink.

  Because we’re friends.

  “Sorry, it took Roberto longer than I expected,” Addison explained. “Grab your drink. We have thirty minutes!”

  With a laugh, I followed her to her office which was tucked around the corner from CJ’s. As soon as the door closed behind us, the noise was muted almost completely.

  “Okay, spill!” Addison practically squealed as she bounced her way to her desk. “I have never seen Addo act like this before. He was talking to the alcohol vendor and he was smiling. Smiling!”

  I sat down in one of the two modern chairs. Putting the lemony drink to my lips, I slowly slurped the sweet and tart beverage as I tried to not grin at her.

  I failed.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I sat my glass on the corner of her desk. “He’s just in a good mood, I guess.”

  “Yeah and I’m trying to figure out what put him in that good mood!” She did a little dance in her chair, causing me to laugh. “Seriously, spill!”

  “Why does it feel like I’ve known you forever?”

  And then it hit me.

  She reminds me of Sahara. Before the accident. Before everything changed.

  Although Sahara was still working through her issues, she would always be my best friend. But the accident stole the carefree spirit from her. Dealing with all she’d been through and then adding on motherhood and marriage, Sahara was a little more careful than carefree. But I loved her the same.

  “Because you remind me of my best friend,” she answered, beaming at me.

  “Oh my God! You remind me of my best friend! I swear to God I was just thinking that!” I almost hopped out of my seat, completely blown away. Then a nagging thought made the joy ooze out of my body as suddenly as it flooded me. I swallowed hard as I slumped back in my chair.

  Addison’s face fell as she watched me. “What just happened?” Her perfectly arched eyebrows rose. “Did your best friend betray you in some way?” She gasped. “Did your best friend hook up with your boyfriend and that’s why you’re on this solo trip to Atlanta? Because I would never do something like that. Besides the fact that I think that’s backstabbing bitch behavior and I’m not a backstabbing bitch. And, lest you forget”—she raised her hand and wiggled the flawless diamond that rivaled the one I left in Thomasville—“I am engaged to the most amazing man on the planet.”

  I waved her off. “No, that’s not what I was thinking at all.” I leaned forward to grab my drink. “My best friend would never betray me like that. She has had a wild rollercoaster of a romantic life that ended with her breaking hearts left and right, some more than once, before making a choice and marrying the love of her life.” I looked down into my drink as I clutched it with both hands. “I uh… I was more um…interested in finding out more about what you said.”

  “What I said?” Addison looked around incredulously. “Why are you being weird right now? What’s going on?”

  I took two huge gulps of my beverage and placed the glass back on the desk. “You said I reminded you of your best friend. Did you mean CJ’s sister?”

  Addy’s jaw dropped and her eyes bore into mine. Her chest rose and fell as she seemed to struggle to formulate a response. A full minute of complete silence had passed. She stood, placing her palms flat on her desk and never breaking eye contact.

  I swallowed hard, unsure of if I even wanted her to answer.

  “He told you about Aja?” Addison’s voice shook as she spoke softly. “Even how she…passed away.”

  “Yes.” I nodded, maintaining eye contact. “I’m sorry for your loss, Addy.”

  Standing up straight, she covered her face with her hands. “Oh, wow.” Wiping her fingers underneath her eyes, she looked at me again. “Oh wow, wow, wow.” She started pacing back and forth behind her desk.

  I stood. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just—you said I reminded you of your best friend and all I heard was that I reminded you of Aja which would mean that I probably remind CJ of Aja and that just has too much of an ick factor for me and—”

  “Emily!” Addison had one hand on her hip and the other carefully wiping her face. “Stop it. Please!”

  My mouth snapped shut.

  I’d lost loved ones and I knew how it felt to lose my best friend—a
lthough not in the same way. So I hated that I was the reason tears filled my new friend’s eyes. I hated that I wasn’t as sensitive as I could’ve been when the creepy comparison thought crossed my mind. I didn’t know how I could backpedal fast enough to get out of the place I had put us in.

  Silence filled the room, choking me.

  “I was talking about Natasha,” she informed me in a pained whisper as she collapsed into her chair. “You remind me of my best friend, Natasha. Sh-she moved to Los Angeles a couple of years ago.”

  I closed my eyes and allowed the feeling of embarrassment and ache of regret consume me. So not only did I bring up Aja for no reason, I made Addy cry. What is wrong with me?

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized in a hushed tone, blinking back my own set of tears. “I’m sorry I brought her up. I’m sorry I made you cry. I can go if you want me to.”

  Addison shook her head and gestured for me to sit back down. Cautiously, I did. Crossing my legs, I grabbed my drink and sipped quietly while she gathered herself.

  She reached under her desk and I heard a door opening and then closing. She put an ice-cold bottle of water in front of her and then one at the edge of her desk, in front of me.

  Wiping her cheeks dry, she gave me a pained smile. “I’m sorry. I was just caught off guard. I didn’t expect…” She let out a breath. “I don’t talk about Aja much at work…which is odd since this place is dedicated to her.”

  My eyebrows raised in surprise. “Oh?” I reacted softly.

  I had no idea.

  Addison nodded. “Aja’s birthday was in December and with Christmas, it was her favorite time of the year. We wanted to do something and dedicate it to her. This was partially her dream. When she was going through some stuff, she just kept saying she wanted a place where she could forget everything for a little while. So…that’s what we tried to create.” She shook her head and looked at me with utter bewilderment. “I can’t believe he told you about Aja.”

  My lips pulled upward into a sad smile. “She sounded like an amazing sister and friend.”

  She still regarded me with a mixture of awe and confusion. “He doesn’t talk to anyone about Aja. He doesn’t usually open up about that and the few people who find out somehow, or know someone who knows someone that was around at that time, they don’t even know all of the circumstances surrounding it.”