by Guy Lilburne
“Did you tell him?”
“Yes. I told him everything. I had to. He kept asking. He wanted all the details. I think it hurt him even more, but he kept wanting to know. I also told him that I knew that he had been having affairs and that I had seen messages on his mobile over the years.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He was just shouting and swearing and screaming ‘none of your fucking business’. He was calling me a whore and a bitch.”
“So, are you going to try again with him?”
“No, not at all. Please don’t think that Graham. It’s harder telling you that I can’t see you again, than telling Nick that I want a divorce. No, no! He’s still going, but my heads a mess and I’ve still got feelings for him. I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to hurt you Graham and you probably don’t want to hear this, but all the time that you were making love to me and all the wonderful things that you were doing to me, I just kept thinking ‘why couldn’t Nick do all this. Why couldn’t Nick be as passionate as this and then there wouldn’t have been any problems in the marriage’. I’m so sorry Graham.”
“I don’t know what to say. I really like you a lot Louise, but if you’ve made your mind up there is no more to say.”
“I’m sorry Graham. You are a kind wonderful man, I’ll never forget you. You deserve to be loved, and I can’t love you right now. I think it’s best if we don’t see each other again.”
“OK Louise, I’m sorry too. Goodbye sweetheart.”
“Bye.”
I put the phone down and a great wave of sadness washed over me. Louise was the girl that I wanted to grow old with and now it was over. I was going to be growing old on my own. I felt sick and the depression of sadness and loneliness took over me, sitting heavy on my heart like a great weight, making it hard to breathe. Over the next week I didn’t want to eat and couldn’t sleep. I was on holiday from work and the days and nights seemed endless, lonely and sad. Each time the phone rang my heart lifted for a moment as I hoped it would be Louise. Of course it never was. Every time I left the house, even for the shortest time, as soon as I got back in I would check to see if I had missed a call from her. I never did. I didn’t like this sadness. I had never felt it before and I couldn’t believe that someone could make me feel so bad. It was like an illness at 3.00 or 4.00 a.m. in the morning. I would be lying in bed and I would suddenly say out loud ‘for God’s sake Louise, ring me!’ It’s no exaggeration to say that I thought about her constantly. I had thought that I had found someone so special and now she was gone. It hurt so much.
At about 9.30 am on Thursday 10th August the phone rang and Louise said,
“Hello. It’s me.”
“Oh!” It was the phone call I had been waiting for, but I was too shocked to think of anything else to say.
“Graham, I’m sorry, but I just can’t get you out of my mind. Is there any chance that I could see you?”
My spirits suddenly soared and I felt elated.
Louise picked me up at midday and we took her youngest son to a Whacky Warehouse where we sat and held hands and talked for an hour. All the other mums seemed very interested in sneaking a peek at us. Some were smiling. Others had the look of disgust. It seemed that everybody in the place knew that we were having an affair, but it really didn’t matter. Louise told me that she was going to see a solicitor and divorce Nick. He had agreed to move out, and he had agreed with Louise that it hadn’t really been a marriage for the last four years, which made me smile because they had only been married for five years. Louise dropped me off back at home later in the afternoon, I was a happy man. She was back in my life.
Louise rang me the next day, Saturday, and told me that her husband wasn’t going to be at home until Sunday afternoon. She asked me if I would go to her house that night after 9.00 pm, so that the boys would be asleep in bed. I arrived at her house just after 10.00 pm. She was happy to see me and we kissed and cuddled on the settee. I felt a bit on edge being in their house and I was there for an hour and a half before I started to relax a bit, but I was enjoying the kissing. Louise, as usual, looked gorgeous. She was wearing a denim skirt and a white top. My hand had slid inside her skirt and I was stroking her pussy over the top of her knickers. She moved her bum to the end of the settee and I pushed her legs apart and up into the air. I tickled her clitoris and anus with my tongue and gently masturbated her with a finger. I loved the way she got wet so quickly, and she really did get wet. I lubricated my finger in her pussy juice and tickled around her bum, gently pushing the tip of my finger into her anus. I kept taking it out and re-lubricating it in her wet vagina and each time returning to her bum. With my finger up her bum and my thumb in her vagina, I continued to masturbate her. Her eyes were closed and her head tossed back, she held my wrist and directed the speed and movement of my hand until she came.
I moved back on the settee and we kissed some more. Louise stopped kissing me to speak.
“When we have sex you are like a child with a new toy. Nothing in the world matters to you except playing with your new toy.”
I laughed. “I’m just happy to be with you.”
“Graham, we have got to take this one step at a time. Don’t get too serious.”
She had taken me by surprise. I hadn’t expected her to say anything like that. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I didn’t think I was getting serious. I knew that I was falling in love with her but she didn’t know that. All this was still going through my head when she suddenly said, “Right, it’s your turn.”
She got on the floor in front of me and took off my shoes and socks. She kneeled up and undid my belt, and unzipped my jeans. I was still a bit dazed and confused by what she had just said. She was giving me a clear warning. I was doing something wrong. I think that she knew I was in love with her and it was her way of saying that she didn’t want to hear it. She was looking into my eyes and smiling as she tugged my jeans off. I wasn’t wearing any boxers. She kissed my thighs and worked her way up to my penis and started giving me a fantastic blow job. She kept looking at me and smiling as she sucked on my cock. I found it very sexy.
“Louise, I’m going to cum.”
She stopped and looked at me with the sweetest smile.
“I want you to.”
She held the shaft of my cock in her hand and rubbed my penis all over her face while she was looking and smiling at me. Then she slipped it back into her mouth and gently sucked again, wanking me with her fingers as she did. My legs gripped her torso as I shot into her mouth. She carried on sucking up my ejaculation and continued to lick me clean as my erection slowly subsided. We got dressed. Louise didn’t bother putting her knickers back on and they lay on the floor where I had dropped them. We had a few drinks and watched a music video channel on TV. We kissed and held hands and talked about nothing of consequence. I think we were happy just to be cuddling up to each other.
We made love on the sofa. The hours passed. It was gone 3.00 am when Louise decided to put a CD on.
“You really want me don’t you?” She sounded uncertain and I thought she wanted reassurance.
“More than anything in the world.” I smiled.
“Oh Graham. I’ve told you, don’t get too serious. Don’t try to rush things. I think you are a lovely man and you’ll get my heart eventually, but just take it easy.”
Again, she had surprised me by what she had said and I couldn’t think of a good reply. I had just totally misread what she had said. When she had said “you really want me don’t you?” I thought she wanted some kind of confirmation. Then she told me to calm down and don’t rush things, because I had said yes I wanted her. It had left me in a position where I couldn’t backtrack or explain the misunderstanding. I felt like saying ‘Hang on a minute. I’m not too serious. I’m not rushing. I don’t expect anything and let’s just see how i
t goes. I didn’t realise it was a fucking trick question’, but I didn’t say anything. I was falling in love with her and I think she knew it. Suddenly, I felt like she had all the power and control in the relationship. And because she just seemed to assume that control with what she had just said, I couldn’t think of anything to say on the spur of the moment that could rescue the situation. Well, at least nothing other than a long explanation and now wasn’t the time. So I just smiled and said.
“That’s not a bother.” I kissed her and went.
‘What the fucks just happened?’ I said to myself as soon as I was out of her house. I thought about it the next day. It had bothered me. I tried to analyse it. I knew that I loved her and I knew that she didn’t love me, or at least, she was not falling for me as much as I was falling for her. There was no problem with that. The problem was that she knew these two things as much as I did. That was the problem. That’s what had given her the power and control over the relationship. But how did she know that I was falling in love. That was the problem. That’s what had given her the power and control over the relationship. But how did she know that I was falling in love with her? I hadn’t said anything. She had just assumed it. I should have denied it. That’s where I had gone wrong. That’s what had given her the opportunity to fire off these warning shots. I wasn’t too bothered once I had thought it through. She was beautiful and I liked her. I also knew that she was also falling for me. I also realised that she was going through a very traumatic time with a pending divorce and all that entails, so I knew I would have to be very understanding and sensitive to her needs. It wouldn’t be a problem. She was quite lovely and, anyway, she was right. I really did want her. I went back to her house on the next Saturday night. I was quieter than usual and deliberately didn’t say so many nice things to her, although I did tell her she was beautiful. Again, we spent the whole night wrapped around each other on the settee. She wasn’t wearing a bra or knickers under her clothes and we fucked on the settee with Louise sat astride me. I wasn’t expecting to see her on the Sunday because her husband was due to return home later that afternoon, but at 7.30 pm I answered a knock on the door and it was Louise. She had her hair in pigtails and she was bright and bubbly. She was kissing me and hugging me. She was generally slagging off her husband and saying how much she hated him and couldn’t stand to be in the house with him anymore. He had asked her if she was still seeing me and she had just told him that it was none of his business. She told me that she had found some numbers on his mobile with girl’s names against them. She rang them all up, but they were all on answer phone so she left a message on each one ‘if you are fucking my husband you can have him, we’re divorcing’. She was different that night. She was happy and relaxed as if she had made her mind up as to what she wanted. She told me that she was just happy to be with me, and that she missed me when we were apart. She sounded very sweet.
I told her that the first weekend that her husband had her children I would take her to Italy for a real Italian meal.
“Oh Graham, you are the most wonderful, romantic man I’ve ever met.”
She was right, I am romantic. I love romance. She paid me a lot of compliments that night. She said that I was the first man who had taken the time and trouble and spent enough time going down on her to make her cum with a tongue. She also said that nobody had made her cum before when actually making love. I don’t know if it was all true but it made me feel pretty good. We ended up having oral sex in a 69 position on the floor of the lounge before we made love. It was a lovely night.
The next night on Monday 14th was very different. Louise turned up at my house just after 9.00 pm. Again, I wasn’t expecting her. Tonight she looked sad and vulnerable, almost like a child. She stood in front of me and tried to smile but the tears just rolled down her cheeks.
“Oh Graham” she said putting her head into my shoulder and wrapping her arms around me.
“It’s OK” I said and I rocked her gently in my arms. She sobbed for a while. She was upset because her husband had turned nasty and had said that he wasn’t going to give her a penny. That he was going to give up his job and he was going to complain about me to my Head Office. He was going to divorce her on the grounds of adultery and name me in the petition. He had been calling her a slag and a whore in front of the children and told their eldest son that she was having sex with another man. Her little boy started crying and asked her if it was true. He had told her that he was going to take everything out of the house with him when he went. She had made an appointment to see a solicitor on Thursday. The only thing I could do was listen and hold her tight. Her sadness made me sad too.
She came around again on Tuesday at about 8.00 pm. She was happy and funny and totally enchanting. How could anybody not fall in love with this girl? She had the ability to pluck your heart straight out of your chest at will. I told her that if she ever fell in love with me I would never let her go.
“I know you won’t” she smiled. “You make me feel wonderful. I’ve never had so much love and attention.”
“Well, tonight I am going to give you a massage.”
“That sounds nice.”
I got her a drink and went to prepare the bedroom. I could hear her giggling as I went up the stairs. I drew the curtains and lit candles all around the room. I put on some music and put the massage oil on the bedside cabinet. I got undressed and wrapped a towel around my waist. I went to get Louise.
“Oh! It’s a clothes off massage, is it?” she laughed.
“Of course. What other kind is there?”
“And does the massage include having sex?”
“It depends on how well the massage goes.”
“If it’s that good I might fall asleep.”
“I know. That’s when I am planning to have sex with you.”
We went upstairs and I sat on the bed as Louise started taking her blouse off.
“Are you supposed to be watching me get undressed?”
“Yes. It goes with the job.”
She stood in front of me and stripped until she was naked. She truly was beautiful. She lay face down on the bed. I rubbed the oil into my hands and as it warmed I massaged her all over. Her shoulders, back, arms, hands, fingers, bottom, legs, feet and toes. She turned over and I did her front the same way. She turned back over onto her front and I sat astride her bum. I rubbed myself up and down her body. My penis was between her legs and throbbing erect and covered in oil. I told Louise I wanted to fuck her and she got on all fours, her bum in the air. I slid myself inside her. She was always lovely and wet, juicy and warm. I pulled back out of her and rubbed the tip of my penis around her anus. I continued until the tip of my penis was pressing into her bum.
“Louise, I want to fuck you up the bum.” I know that it wasn’t the romantic thing to say, but I wanted to do it, so I just said it.
“If you can, then do it. I love everything that you do. But be careful with me. I’ve never done this before.”
That was wonderful. It was something else that she could experience for the first time with me. It took a while before I was fully inside her and I never pushed in a full length, there were a few ‘Ohhs’ and ‘Ahhs’ and I was worried about hurting her. I kept asking her if she was OK and she said she was, but I wasn’t sure that she thought it was so great, so I pulled out. I turned her over and put her legs over my shoulder and fucked her pussy until we both came. We stayed in bed until she went home at midnight. Louise came around again on the Wednesday evening. She told me that she had an appointment with the solicitors the following morning. She seemed to have made her mind up about what she wanted to do and was in a positive frame of mind. It was a strange sort of evening. We held hands and caressed each other’s fingers. We kissed and cuddled as we always seemed to, but emotionally she couldn’t have pushed me any further away. She said that she really loved being with me, but
we had all the time in the world. She said that one day she would give me her heart, but not to rush it. I wasn’t saying anything, she seemed to assume a lot, but she was right about how I was feeling. Something had already changed, but so subtly, that I hadn’t even noticed. Somehow, I had stopped just being me. I had stopped being funny and relaxed. I had stopped being laid back and confident about myself. The more she distanced herself from me emotionally, the harder I was trying to make her love me. I already knew I was trying too hard, and I didn’t find it to be an attractive feature in my personality. The warnings were there. She was telling me as much. I hadn’t told her that I loved her, but she knew alright and she just wasn’t ready for this. It made our relationship feel intense, too intense. I asked her if she wanted to go to bed but she said no.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked.
“I’m afraid of falling in love with you.”
“Why?”
She didn’t answer and I didn’t ask again. I had to make a conscious decision not to tell her how beautiful she was. I had already told her enough times and I realised I had to slow everything down if I was going to keep her.
Louise came around again the next night, a Thursday. She was excited and very different from the previous evening. She was playful and affectionate. In fact she couldn’t keep her hands off me. She told me all about her visit to the solicitors and we chatted for about an hour before I went into the kitchen to make coffee. She followed me in and came up behind me. She wrapped her arms around me and slid her hand down over my crotch. I could feel my cock growing in her hand.
“Will you make love to me Graham?”
