Her head throbbing, Darcey exhaled deeply. She couldn’t say no to Sissi, not when she wasn’t sure what she wanted. Travelling to the most luxurious cities in the world and writing about the experience was a dream come true, career-wise anyway. But as for romance, it looked like love had to take a backseat.
Or at least one factor of her life had to take the backseat. And she wasn’t sure which one should.
She nodded and told Sissi she had tons of revisions to attend to for another feature piece. As she stood up to leave, Sissi gave her a penetrating gaze.
“Darcey.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t forget. Tonight, dinner at my house. Nathan’s been informed. I expect you both to arrive on time.”
‘But he doesn’t want to go, he has a meeting with an investor,’ Darcey wanted to say but, as was customary that morning, she couldn’t do anything but nod.
A pleased smile appeared on Sissi’s perfect features.
*****
“What? You’re sending her back to London, and then…Japan?” Nathan dropped his fork without care. The loud sound echoed through the massive dining room.
Darcey was able to convince him to skip his meeting and dine with his mother. It took a lot of pleading, grimacing and promises.
Sissi’s home had a modern design while boasting touches of French and British accents. Designer furniture and light fixtures, from Tom Dixon to Roche Bobois, could be found in every room. The Pacific Palisades mansion had a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean and the Santa Monica pier. The twinkling lights of the seaside ferries wheel painted a picture-perfect Southern California portrait. But Darcey’s heart felt far too heavy to appreciate the view.
“Nathan, London and Tokyo are both in this world, not in Mars,” Sissi replied coolly, cutting a piece of juicy steak.
“Mother, she just arrived from Brazil. She was gone for a whole month!” He didn’t care to hide the anger in his voice.
“Lower your voice. We’re having dinner.” Sissi took a sip of decadent red wine.
“I’m not five.” He stopped eating and looked very much like a kindergarten for a split second, a pout on his sensual lips.
“Then stop talking like one.”
Darcey’s eyes shifted from Nathan to his mum. She felt like they had forgotten about her presence. Instead of saying anything, however, she chose to focus on cutting the steak expertly prepared by a personal chef.
After several more awkward seconds, Nathan muttered, “Can’t you find someone better to take her spot?”
This time Darcey had to speak up. “Better?” Her voice was tight, as tight as the pain in her chest.
Sissi laughed. “Do you not think your girlfriend is my best travel writer? Why else would I send her to Florida, Mexico, Japan and all these locales if I thought she was less than the best?”
Two women, instead of simply one, stared at Nathan incredulously. Darcey was more than pleased to hear Sissi speak so highly of her talents, but her temper was rising towards Nathan. She decided to have a talk with him when they found time to be alone. Despite her hurt feelings at the moment, she didn’t feel too keen discussing her relationship with him in front of his mum.
“Had I known you’d do this, I wouldn’t have sent you her CV,” he said gruffly, seemingly oblivious to the angry looks darting his way from two directions.
“Then why did you?” Darcey asked, taking a slow sip of the wine. Despite hating the evening, she had to admit the wine was superb. Sissi had the most impeccable taste.
“Because you’re talented.” His eyes stared back at her intently. “I thought you’d do well working for a publication. You’re too talented to waste your years working as someone’s assistant.” He reached across the table to squeeze her hand, but she quickly pulled away.
His words struck a nerve. “Did you feel sorry for me? Is that why you helped me?”
“No, but I did realize…come on, Darcey. Don’t you remember the interview you had with me? I still remember. You wanted to change jobs.”
She sighed. He wasn’t exactly wrong. Turning to his mother, Nathan asked, “Seriously, why are you so difficult?”
“Me, difficult?” Sissi lifted her chin subtly, her eyes, so like his, studied his face. “You’re very much like your father. How can you be this selfish? See things from Darcey’s point of view. This is something that’ll be good for her, experience-wise. Can’t you be happy that her talents have been acknowledged by a large international media company? Wipe that frown off your face.”
His brows furrowed deeply as his voice rose. “Why are dragging father into this? He’s quite happy with the life he chose. Leave him out of this. The way I see it, you don’t approve of my relationship with Darcey and you’ll do anything to keep us apart.”
Sissi gasped and Darcey never felt her own face grow hot this swiftly.
“Can you please stop talking to your mother that way? There’s no point getting angry because I already agreed to go.” She gave him a furious stare. The pained expression on his face did nothing to help her resolve, however.
“And you didn’t even have the heart to ask me what I think? Or consider my feelings?” His handsome face was pale.
“I did, of course I did.” She reached out to touch his arm.
It was his turn to pull away. “For how long, a second? A minute? Do you just happen to agree to her majesty’s bidding every chance you get? Are you her minion?”
“Nathan, that’s enough!” It was Sissi’s turn to speak angrily. “She has a contract with our company, she has to do her job. Now, if you have a problem with that, why don’t you join the company and be her boss instead? Then you can choose where she gets to go.” The sarcasm was sharp, but not as sharp as Sissi’s tone. It was controlled rage, but rage nonetheless.
One of the maids apparently heard the angry voices for she entered the room quietly. Sissi waved her away with her elegant fingers.
Both women knew Nathan would never work for his family’s business. Being on his own was something he always wanted to do. He built his investment firm without any help from his parents.
He turned to look at Darcey with the face of a wounded animal. “Do you love this job?”
She kept still, unable to trust her words. She felt terrible and angry at the same time. A lump formed in her throat.
He pressed on, “Can you live without me for six months?”
Tears welled in her eyes. He knew her too well. Despite her silence, her tears betrayed her like they usually did. But she kept her lips shut.
“Why are we giving ourselves a hard time?” His eyes pleaded with her.
“Huh? I don’t understand,” Darcey finally replied while Sissi ate in silence.
“You don’t seem to care that we’re always apart,” he said. “But when you see me with other people, you get jealous as hell and accuse me of cheating. You cancel dates and meetings with me whenever my mother tells you to.”
Darcey averted her gaze. Talk about awkward. Sissi kept on eating in silence, her expression calm.
Nathan sighed. “Do you even realize how much money I lost tonight for cancelling my business engagement? But I’m here now because you asked me. But without a care for what I feel, you just agreed to be away for half a year, without talking about it with me.”
Sissi cut through the medium-rare steak like it was as soft as melted butter. Darcey felt like someone was piercing her heart. She lifted her eyes to meet Nathan’s. The expression on his face was so crestfallen, breaking her heart all over again.
He took a big gulp of the fine red before speaking, “You can go to London and Tokyo for as long as you want. But don’t expect me to run after you.” He stood up, planting his linen napkin on the table as she stared up at him in surprise. “But I do wish you the best.”
He stepped away and turned to Sissi. “Congratulations, mother. You have successfully taken another important person out of my life. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I seem to have lost my appet
ite, for both food and present company included. Enjoy your dinner.”
Darcey was too dumbfounded to speak. Sissi raised a brow but her face was otherwise stoic.
Just as he was about to step out of the room, he turned towards them once more. “Make sure Darcey gets home safely, don’t let her drive if she drinks too much.”
As she slowly stood up, she racked her brain for something to say. But he put a hand up, silencing her.
“Good night, darling.” His words impaled her heart as he walked away.
A tear trickled down her cheek, one which she quickly brushed away, hoping Sissi didn’t notice.
To her absolute surprise, Sissi sighed before commanding, “Stop crying and run after him.”
Chapter 3
“Nathan, wait up!” Darcey called out.
He was opening the door of his BMW when she caught up with him. She grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. “Wait! Stop. Please, give me a few minutes.”
“Make it quick.” His face was hard, devoid of expression.
“It’s a little chilly. Can we please go in and talk?”
He sighed as he stared into her eyes. “I never win, not with you at least. Let’s go inside.”
With his fingers, he swept the hair off her face. Fall may not be as cold in Los Angeles as it was in London, but the Pacific Ocean breeze was creating a chilly night. They walked back inside the house and he led her to the library, his favourite spot in Sissi’s home. This was where he would spend most of his time whenever he visited. The large room was filled with new and antique volumes. It was one of the few rooms that would allow them much needed privacy from the help and Sissi.
As she sat across him, she cleared her throat and spoke as calmly as she could muster. “Honey, “ she began, “I know that we barely have time for each other lately. In fact, I wish I could just go back to Mrs. Leighton and work until Carmen doesn’t need me anymore, but I signed a contract with Sissi.”
“Screw that darn contract. I’ll pay whatever fees you incur. You do realize she can fire you anytime and leave you, just like that, without providing a notice, right?” He stood up and began pacing.
“Yes, I’m quite aware of that. But I’ve wanted this job for so long, Nate. I can’t just give it up.” She stood up, frustrated and, just like him, unable to sit still.
He faced her, his eyes startling her with their beauty and pained expression. “Not even for me.” His voice was colder than the ocean breeze.
“Nathan, that’s unfair. I know you value your job and your business the same way I do. I, too, want to do something, be someone, be recognized for my craft.”
“But when we get married you’ll stay home with the kids.”
Her eyes immediately narrowed. Both her hands went up. “Whoa, wait. We’ve been dating only close to a year. Marriage is a bit too premature to talk about, don’t you think?”
He shook his head but didn’t say a thing. She continued, “And what? You expect me to wait at home for you, like a Stepford wife? I don’t think I studied hard for a master’s degree simply to play house.” She hated how angry her voice sounded but she hated his words even more.
“Play house? A lifetime with me amounts to playing house?” His voice trembled with controlled rage as he ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. “Do you even see yourself with me? I mean, do you see a lifetime with me?”
“Nathan. Nathan.” She tried to steady her voice. “You know I care for you. Actually, no, I love you. But marriage is a commitment you can’t just enter into without preparing and saving up. I would like to put in half of the mortgage and pay for my own wedding!”
“What mortgage are you talking about? I have homes in California, in London and New York. My homes, not my parents’. Do you expect to buy another three-bedroom home in Zone Two or in the Valley?”
“You’re such a snob!” she retorted with more vehemence than she would have wanted to throw his way, but she was too insulted to think clearly.
“No, you’re being silly. Why would you want to buy another house? Wait, why are we even talking about real estate here? You’re supposed to be telling me why you agreed to take on a project so far away from me when you fully know it could be detrimental to our relationship?” He couldn’t stop shaking his head, his hands formed tight fists by his side.
“I told you, I enjoy what I do. Despite the long hours and the travelling and missing you almost every night, I love my job. And I thought you would be supportive since I work for your mother. And even if you’re not fond of her, she is a good mentor. She’s amazing at what she does, and I plan to give my best, plan to make her magazine one of the best in the world. And if that means having to learn Japanese and eat sushi every day, then so be it.”
She sat down on one of the plush leather couches, wringing her hands in frustration. Her gaze lifted to study him. “I thought of all people you would be the first person to be proud that a Japanese publication wants me to be their feature writer. But then you went ahead and asked Sissi to send a better and skilled person! Do you truly believe I’m good at what I do? Or did you feel sorry for me so you asked your mum to hire me?” All her insecurities about her talents rose to the surface. She had to blink back angry tears that threatened to gush down hot cheeks.
“Darcey, look, I’m sorry.” He sat next to her and put a hand over her own. “It isn’t that I don’t want you to succeed. You know how much I believe in you. Truly. You don’t realize how much I believe in you and I’m ecstatic you’re doing what you want to do. I just wasn’t happy with the set up. I had to work here in Los Angeles to be with you, remember? But I ended up barely seeing you. Remember my birthday? You didn’t even take a bite out of your pudding because we had to leave for your early flight to Cancun. And for your birthday, why, you were in Florida! Are we even in a relationship? Do you know how hard it is for me when loads of Hollywood beauties parade around while your girlfriend is somewhere else?”
She instantly pulled her hand away and stood up, glaring down at him. “Aha! See you said it. You are tempted to date these bombshells!”
He stood up, his tall frame towering over her while his eyes blazed with intensity. “You’re supposed to be intelligent. What’s wrong with you? Can you not grasp what I’m trying to say to you? Do I need to translate it in French for you? ” He placed his hands on her shoulders, his grip firm. “Tu me manques beacoup.”
Averting her eyes away from his blazing ones, she replied in almost a whisper, “I miss you, too, everyday. But this is my job. I need to do it. It isn’t that I love you less, or that you’re less important to me. I just--” She couldn’t finish her sentence. A tear finally trickled down.
He placed his hands down and lifted her chin tenderly with a finger. “This is so hard for me, Darcey. I don’t know how you do it, being so far away from your family and your friends.” He smiled wryly before adding, “And me.”
With every last amount of strength she could muster, she stopped herself from breaking down completely. “Of course it’s hard. And you being so demanding of my time isn’t helping. I’m already tortured by the fact that I’m such a bad girlfriend to you. I hate that I’ve missed my own mum’s birthday, and my friends live in another continent. But all this is part of the struggle I knew I had to face. I chose this life. I chose to give it my all, and I’m going to make my family proud. My friends, too. And you.”
She gave him a soft and sad smile before going on, “And I don’t know exactly what to do. This is all so confusing. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and run to your side and tell you to move back to London with me. But I’m not that Darcey anymore.”
The more she spoke, the more her voice took on more conviction. “I’ve finally seen the big world, and I want to explore some more. I want to be an editor someday, and I want to be able to bring in my share when I get married. It’s not like I’m some gold digger.” She shuddered.
“You think I don’t know that?” He raised a brow.
“You know that I didn’t fall for you simply because you’re wealthy and wear expensive suits.”
“Why did you fall for me then?” He smiled a teasing smile. He took her hand in his and planted a soft kiss on her fingers.
“Well, you are incredibly handsome. And you make me laugh. And you saw me for me, and you make me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman you know, even when you wouldn’t hire me as an escort.” She laughed heartily at the memory of the evening she first met him.
“Because you are beautiful.” He lifted her hand up to his lips once more. Then his face took on a somber expression. “But really, this problem between us isn’t going to go away on its own. We’ll end up having a big row until we don’t even have respect for each other.”
She nodded her head in response.
He eyed her with intensity. “Aren’t you tired of exchanging hurtful words with me? Words we don’t even mean? Or of throwing accusations and insults when our hearts want to say something else?”
“Are you breaking up with me?” She was surprised the question escaped her own lips.
He shook his head. “No, no.” Exhaling softly he sat down and tenderly pulled her to his side. “But maybe we could just take a break. You’re leaving for London and I can’t just leave my own projects.”
She could hear her heart beating rapidly. The words coming out of his mouth were like painful missiles aiming for a heart that was about to break. Her heart.
He kept his gaze down while he gripped her hand tightly. His voice was strained. “Just like you, my business is important to me. And, if I were to be honest, tonight’s affair just cost me a few millions. But here I am at your beck and call while you and my mother gang up on me. The two women of my life.” He laughed dryly.
A tear fell off her face. He brushed it softly with the back of his hand. His eyes were tender and pained at the same time.
Her chest felt heavy and tight. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it will turn out this way. Really. I’m truly sorry, Nathan.” Another tear slithered down like a lost dream among dreams.
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