Battle of the Hexes

by Lidiya Foxglove

  “But what about protecting me from him?”

  “Not my job,” he said. “I’m allowed to be a little selfish now and then. I definitely enjoy the look on your face when you have an asshole in your asshole.”

  She covered his mouth with her hand.

  “So this is what winning feels like, huh?” she said. “Just as ridiculous as our daily lives.”

  “But with more hard work,” Alec said. “If this place is really ours today, that means we have to keep it. We need to find more wizards with Wyrd wands…figure out what to do with them…keep the council off our back…maintain like fifty Victorian buildings…”

  “Sounds like barely won at all when you put it that way!”

  He shrugged. “You might see me shirtless in a tool belt, Princess.”

  “What would the Chosen One be without a fight?” I asked her.

  “A girl without a story,” she said. “So I guess we’d better get to work.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Charlotte

  We walked to the campus buildings and found that the warlocks had cleared out. Once the faeries staked their claim, I guess Professor Stamos and Pacetti weren’t about to take one for the team. They must evacuated the students too.

  “This is now a Wyrd parallel,” Lord Cyrus said. “We hold power here. Well—we and you, I suppose. It should be reasonably safe from intrusion. Of course, I would keep up a strong defense. I will have Queen Morgana’s head chronicler send you a list of all the known human mages in your land who hold a Wyrd wand, and you may contact them.”

  “Ooh, a chronicler,” I said. “That sounds fancy. Thank you for your help, Lord Cyrus.”

  “Well, our other options were becoming limited,” he said. “Now, I can’t stay. Queen Morgana has promised me one of your human brides.”

  “Oh, really? Which one do you have your eye on?”

  “The strongest one should be mine.”

  Man, I saw the way you were looking at my girl after you saw the other twelve, I thought. “Well, Daisy is already promised to Orson.”

  “Oh.” He waved a hand. We’ll see, his narrowed eyes said.

  “You’re not her type at all,” I added.

  “I have ways of making a lady reconsider her type,” he said.

  “We’re having a party tonight, Lord Cyrus,” Ignatius said. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

  Ohmigawd, don’t invite the faeries to our party, I thought before reminding my stupid head that fucking Cyrus could read minds.

  He glanced at me. Damnit. I’d been through so much and I still care what a stupid faery man thought about me mentally dissing him? I’m allowed to think whatever I want, I thought.

  “No, thank you,” he said. “I don’t think a human party will really satisfy my men, but thank you for the offer, Master Blair.”

  His men, a crew of gods—I mean the ancient, weird kind with their own problems—nodded to us and then Lord Cyrus opened a portal and they all vanished into it.

  “What a bloody cunt,” Grandfather Malcolm said.

  I half expected Mom to yell at him for language but then I remembered she was not a normal mom, and she was actually talking to Ina in the background, discussing the alcohol stash in Stuart’s cave.

  Ignatius walked up to me. He had more white in his hair than I remembered noticing before, like Stuart’s death had aged him a few more years just in the last night. I’m sure for Ignatius, this would always be a very bittersweet victory. I had gathered that a small pack of familiars had run him out into the woods and kept him busy with a battle and chase, so he hadn’t seen any of the action, and I’m sure he would remember burying Stuart more than anything else. He had Ina back, but she was no longer the woman he loved.

  “Thank you, Charlotte,” he said. “And all of you. Please, take a break now. Igor is setting up an channel for the spirits you brought from the Haven to anchor here, at least the ones who weren’t able to move on after today’s battle. We should be well protected.”

  “Where is Professor McGuinness anyway?” I asked.

  “You know, those old necromancers never get enough exercise,” he said. “He was having trouble with the hiking trails being so steep. A little rheumatism in the knees. We left him sitting on a rock somewhere.”

  “Is he still there!?”

  “Oh no, I mean—he’s in my old office working on the spell now, just the battle got away from him. Don’t bring it up. He’s embarrassed.”

  “Are you okay, Master Blair?” I asked.

  He glanced at Ina. He knew what I meant. “I love her,” he said, a little sadly. “My broken girl, but she doesn’t belong to anyone but me. She’s mine. It’ll be all right. This is the first time she’s been free since she was young, and time will heal. Are you all right having her around? She told me what she did. I don’t think she fully comprehends how much she might have hurt you.”

  “I’m okay,” I said. “If you love her, that’s enough for me.”

  Mom came up to us and rubbed my back. “Charlotte, we’re going to go release your father and the rest of the family from ‘the fortress’,” she said. “We should be back by about one. Right? One? How long did it take to get here?” She yelled back toward my grandfathers.

  “Not long, the way Claude drives,” Rhys said.

  “In the morning?” I asked.

  “What other ‘one’ is there? The night will have hardly begun. Darling! Do you not have parties?” She saw the look on my face. “You’re twenty-two, in college, with four boyfriends, and you don’t have parties?”

  “We have parties,” Montague said, swooping in to rescue me. “One time I stole my uncle’s boat and we fucking trashed it, didn’t we? He was so pissed off, we had to spend the next day cleaning it up while hungover.”

  Mom laughed. “Oh, all right, well, I’m glad you didn’t just study! You had me worried there for a minute thinking my own daughter was a nerd!”

  “I know you were young in the eighties, but nerds are cool now, Mom,” I said, bristling.

  I tried to scurry away from her only to bump into Grandfather’s Malcolm’s hand, giving me a little smack on the shoulder. “‘Ey, you don’t mind if we…” He pretended to snort up one nostril.

  “What the fuck,” Alec murmured as I turned crimson with horror and then Malcolm cracked up laughing.

  “I’m just teasing you. We’ve been clean since ’92. Don’t lie to your mum, all right?” He winked.

  I reeled away. “Holy shit. My grandparents are making jokes about snorting coke.”

  “They’re rock stars,” Harris said. “What did you think they were going to be like?”

  “I don’t know, old, boring rock stars? But in fact, I am the one who’s boring! The old people are lugging wine casks onto the square and we, the youths, are boring! Montague just had to lie about how exciting we are!”

  “We could fix that,” Alec said. “Have we ever seen you drunk, Princess?”

  “I might be pregnant!”

  “Oh, yeah. That’s right. So…you are going to have to party completely sober tonight.”

  “We’re stealing a car!” Mom announced, popping open the door of one of the old black cars in the lot that was routinely used for the warlocks to venture into the human world.

  “I’m not sure a person should party with their parents and grandparents anyway,” Firian said. “It disrupts the natural order of the universe.”

  “That’s how wizard parties are,” Montague said. “We had a few ‘teen’ parties in St. Augustine but usually we had clan parties instead.”

  “It’s true,” Harris said. “How can you make connections if you don’t party with the older people?”

  “Well, I’m just tired and I don’t need to make connections, but I don’t want my mom to think I’m uncool.”

  “What if your mom already thinks you’re uncool?” Firian asked. “What if it’s already too late and none of your efforts matter? What if you’re a nerd, Charlotte? T
hen what would you do?”

  I sighed. “Aw.”

  “You’re always cool to us,” Alec said, tugging on my ponytail. “I think you should just relax.”

  “You know what would be awesome? Just…watching a movie and having some dinner. Maybe we can raid the kitchen and see if there’s anything but porridge in there. I have this weird craving for a big, thick…” I slipped an arm around Alec. “Pickle.”

  “Definitely pregnant,” he said.

  “As you wish,” said Montague, raising his brows.

  So, I got to celebrate in the best way possible. The Princess Bride, which was still in the player at the theater (ooh, I would bet money one of those snobs from the film club watched it), a big roast beef and Swiss sandwich, a pickle, Cheerwine that Firian conjured, but hey, no diabetes…and my clan. My pack. My family. Whatever I called them, I couldn’t blame Ignatius for feeling like, whatever happened to Ina, she just didn’t belong to anyone else.

  They’re mine.

  And I’m theirs.

  Chapter Forty

  Charlotte

  Weeks passed by super fast. We were all busy overhauling the campus, settling into the houses. My whole family moved in, and I thought this could be a nightmare, but actually it turned out to be pretty nice. The grounds were big enough that the generations had their own space.

  My parents took over the kitchen. It turns out my dad, who loved to grill, also loved using one of those huge restaurant-size skillets. Ignatius settled easily into managing the whole place and planning out what the future of Merlin College would be—no longer a college in the traditional sense, but a community and school for all ages. Richard and Adia claimed the jobs of financial manager and secretary. Richard actually started trying to hunt down and demand our inheritance from Samuel Caruthers.

  “I guess Dick grew some balls since you were our manager!” Grandfather Malcolm cackled.

  Poor Richard.

  Harris took over the library and contacting the other Wyrd wizards around the world. Some of them only spoke French or even some obscure tribal language so he had to do his best to translate the message and summon them here. We got notes from people who were heading our way from all over the world. Many of them wouldn’t get on airplanes and would take months to get here.

  I was sort of amazed that the councils left us alone.

  “At this point, there isn’t nearly as much benefit to them to battle to have this place back,” Harris said. “They would probably rather all the wizards come to this one spot instead of trying to establish multiple Wyrd territories. They’re going to want to minimize territory loss.”

  “Huh. Okay.”

  “It’s like in Civilization,” Firian said.

  “How do you know about Civilization? I haven’t played that since middle school!”

  “Oh, well, when you weren’t playing it anymore and got a new computer, your dad gave it to me because he felt bad I didn’t have any friends,” Firian said. “Anyway, wizards are sort of like Civilization. When your enemies steal one of your cities and pour all their units back into the city and build a wall, as long as it’s just one city, often it’s easier to just go, ehhh. Basically we’re like that one aggravating group of Zulu who just stole Vladivostok.”

  “Ohh, okay, I get it!” I gasped. “We’re not playing Fortune’s Favor anymore, we’re a city management sim now!”

  “God, no wonder I can never explain anything to you,” Harris said. “I have no idea what you two are talking about.”

  The faeries came to check in on us often, in a way that felt slightly oppressive, and I wasn’t especially reassured when they mentioned that Lord Cyrus was courting Daisy and they weren’t sure who Orson was (“oh, maybe he’s that large man I’ve seen around”, one of them said), but they had to give permission to every Wyrd wizard to become a part of their world. They never turned anyone away, and a lot of the trust we were building was thanks to Professor McGuinness. The faeries related to his more intellectual manner and he was good at talking to them.

  We all had a place in this new life. And I was definitely pregnant. I never expected to be having a baby at twenty-two, because in my human life no one I knew had been thinking about kids at all, but my mom was the same age when she got pregnant with me. I don’t think anything could have bonded me to the other women in my family more quickly. My mom and grandmother made sure I had everything I needed and every question answered. Although they did argue about literally everything from how to deal with babies who won’t sleep to decor.

  “A wolf themed nursery would be cute!” Grandmother said.

  “Mum, where is she going to find wolf stuff for a nursery? A fox theme would be better.”

  “I can make wolf stuff.”

  “You’re not going to make nursery stuff. We’ll get it on Amazon.”

  “Oh yes I will. I’m very crafty. Adia can help, I bet, and your fathers can build a crib.”

  “I’m just going to take Charlotte to the mall, then, and buy her a fox nursery.”

  “Charlotte, you don’t want the same old nursery as everyone else has, do you?”

  “Oh my god, why don’t we just do both?” I cried.

  Like that. All the time.

  But I also kinda loved it. And the fox and wolf nursery was just right.

  Still, there were losses. Familiars and friends who died along the way. Families who would never speak again, who would meet as enemies if they ever saw each other. Alec’s dad cut all ties from shame and quietly broke Alec’s heart. My poor demon sex muffin was also my sensitive artist soul and his dad’s rejection was painful, I knew, even if he saw it coming. The entire council ‘wrote Harris out of the book’, the same fate that befell my grandmother all those years ago. It meant he was shunned—and human.

  It was time for Firian to become human too.

  We did the research. It was true. Familiars were cursed to die if they had a baby with a witch. That was some serious b.s. but fixing it was a problem we couldn’t tackle right now. He had to renounce his role as my familiar if he wanted to live. He could accept Harris’ magic afterward, but we didn’t know for sure if he would ever be able to be a fox again.

  But first? I was getting my fantasy night.

  “Pretend it’s your birthday,” Firian said. “I want you to enjoy every minute. I don’t want you to worry about a thing. Just go to your room…” He trailed a hand down my neck and kept going down to the button of my shirt. “…make yourself comfortable…and wait.”

  The attic bedroom in our old dorm was now my bedroom. The guys all had their own rooms. Not that I slept alone much, but it was my own space, with all my shit in it. Tonight, I was waiting for Firian. He told me to wait there. When I walked into the room it was lit by candles.

  I smoothed the bedspread and put away a few books and some laundry. Despite all that, in the soft light, the attic was a pretty romantic place, with the creak of the wind and the beauty of the old fireplace mantel. A lot of Alec’s art was still tacked to the wall, eerie creatures and magical symbols, plus some recent portraits of the people in my life.

  I sat on the bed, the springs creaking a little. We hadn’t replaced any furniture and the beds were old. Everything was old. And if I concentrated, I sensed spirits in the air. That used to freak me out at first when I was trying to get in the mood, but nowadays I didn’t worry about it. After a while, you just couldn’t care about voyeuristic ghosts. Like, that’s their problem.

  As I was listening toward the door, the window blew open. Rose petals drifted in on a stiff wind and swirled around.

  Somewhere, the music of a bamboo flute played a sparse, melancholy tune as the wind swirled around me, tugging at my clothes, and a fox spirit appeared on the wide old wooden sill. First, I saw just the fox, and then he transformed into a man, wearing a kimono with his hands folded in the sleeves, with a tail swishing behind him and fox ears. “Oi, onna. Omae…ja nai?”

  “Ahhh,” I whispered. “Mind. Blown.”

/>   “Uso da.” He flew toward me and grabbed me.

  “You know Japanese?”

  “Nah. Not really. I’m just saying things I’ve heard anime people say, in a cold and dominating voice. Yurusenai…iku ze!”

  “Oh yeah. This is better than I expected. You look so hot.”

  “Amai na…Chararotte-chan…” He whispered toward me and waved his hand over me.

  His hand-wave replaced my clothes with very skimpy armor. I mean, very skimpy. Like a variant of slave Leia in blue and gold. “I recognize this….hey, I’m not your elf slut!”

  “If it’s your birthday…it’s my birthday too.” He slid a hand down my naked skin. I’m not sure how an illusion could make me feel so very naked when I had been wearing a t-shirt, but it did.

  “Firian…!”

  “Hahaha…” He lifted my t-shirt and panties up dangling from one finger.

  “How did you do that?”

  “One last magic trick. Poor little elf. You should never have come to this cottage, or to these woods. They belong to me and I have protected them for these past centuries.” He gave me a sideways look and licked the corner of his lips. “I do like the taste of elf…”

  He looked really sexy and magical, the candle light casting weird shadows on his pale skin, making his golden eyes gleam, and it really was more convincing than I expected. His furry ears tipped forward a little as he lifted my elf-girl loincloth and slid a hand over my mound, no doubt feeling my wetness even through the fabric.

  “Onegai…,” I breathed. “Please” was about it for my anime Japanese, at least, words appropriate for this moment, but I thought he would appreciate one good hentai moan.

  “Oh, I’m afraid there is no mercy for you here… I have lived alone here for hundreds of years. Waiting. Watching. For a woman worthy of my affections…”

  Suddenly a demonic form flew to the window. Alec appeared in his full glory and crouched on the sill. “I have been tracking the elf to take to my bed tonight, yokai,” he growled.