Divine in Lingerie: Lingerie #9

by Penelope Sky

  Divine in Lingerie

  Lingerie #9

  Penelope Sky

  Hartwick Publishing

  Divine in Lingerie

  Copyright © 2018 by Penelope Sky

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  One

  Vanessa

  When the truck pulled up to the house, I looked out the window to see Bones behind the wheel. He turned off the engine but kept his gaze forward, looking across the golden fields to the small hills beyond. His expansive shoulders looked too big for the truck, and he rubbed his fingers along his bottom lip as he thought to himself.

  I watched him, expecting him to express his happiness in a more overt way.

  A minute passed before he finally got out of the truck and headed to the front door.

  I got there first and opened the door before his hand reached the handle. I looked into his face, seeing his bright blue eyes and fair complexion. Hair sprinkled his jaw because he skipped a shave that morning. Just as he looked on the night I first met him, he seemed broken. There wasn’t anger in his eyes—just defeat.

  I continued to stare into his face, trying to make sense of his response. My father had finally accepted the man I loved into our family, so there was no reason to be so moody. Bones was a naturally melancholy man, but this occasion deserved a smile. “What is it?”

  Without taking his eyes off me, he shut the door behind him. The door clicked into place, and then the silence of the house surrounded us everywhere. Only our breaths could be heard—along with our frantically beating hearts. Bones stared at me with the same brooding expression, like he didn’t have an answer.

  None of this was making sense. “What happened?”

  He released a quiet sigh, his nostrils flaring in the process. He finally walked past me, making sure not to touch me as he went. He moved to the couch in the living room then lowered himself, his arms resting on his knees.

  I didn’t even get a kiss. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”

  He brought his palms together and slightly rubbed them back and forth. He watched his movements, more interested in his subtle fidgeting than me.

  I sat beside him, feeling his heat the second I was this close to him. “My father said he would accept you. But it seems like you’ve walked in here with completely different news.”

  He finally spoke. “Because I have.”

  I was already afraid when I watched him sit in the truck for an extra minute. I was afraid when he didn’t kiss me when he came home. But now I was scared for a whole new reason. “Griffin?”

  He turned his face my way, his bright eyes landing on mine. “He changed his mind, baby.”

  My eyes widened a little farther, and my chest expanded to full capacity with the breath I took. My father and I had had a long talk before he came to his decision. I told him I loved this man so much that I wasn’t going to wait for his approval anymore. The conversation went well, and my family had finally moved in a new direction. “Why? How? What did you say to him?” All he had to do was be quiet and listen to my father. What did he do to provoke my father so strongly?

  “The truth.” He faced forward again. “He said he would give me his approval, but I had to answer one more question…”

  “And what question was that?”

  He sighed like he didn’t want to give an answer. “He wanted to know how we fell in love. He says you’re stubborn and aggressive, and there’s no way you would have agreed to date me under those conditions. So he wanted me to explain how that happened. He asked the question when he already knew the answer. But he wanted to hear me say it to make sure.”

  I would normally be mortified that my father knew something so personal about my romantic life, but now I was too upset about his decision to really focus on that. “And you told him…?”

  He nodded. “I considered lying. But I’d only gotten this far with your father because of my honesty. My integrity is the only thing he’s ever respected me for. I wasn’t going to throw all that away.”

  My palms pressed against my face, shutting out the room and the man beside me. Just when I’d thought I was getting everything I wanted, I lost it all.

  “I told him I would spare your family if you gave yourself to me.”

  I shut my eyes even though my face was already covered. “Jesus…”

  “That set him off. He pulled a gun on me, pressed the barrel right into my skull, and told me to disappear. If he ever sees me again, he will shoot me. And I believe him. The only reason he didn’t kill me in his office was because of you.”

  “This can’t be happening.” I slowly pulled my palms away from my face and looked at the living room. My heart was beating so fast, but I felt somber at the same time. I felt empty inside, like there was nothing left of me to give.

  He leaned forward with his forearms on his knees, his head bowed to the floor.

  I sat in silence, feeling every bone in my body break. My heart hurt in a brand-new way. It was a kind of sadness I’d never felt before. Bones had told me he loved me, and I’d sent him away. But that pain was nothing compared to what I felt now. I’d done everything to make this relationship work, had done everything to keep the man I shouldn’t love. But now we’d hit a dead end.

  There was no moving forward.

  Bones turned his face toward me, his pragmatic eyes empty of the sadness I was feeling. His carved jawline and hard cheekbones showed a masculine man who didn’t feel anything at all. Devoid of emotion, as if our lives hadn’t just been ruined, he stared at me like this didn’t destroy him the way it destroyed me. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “You’re sorry?” I whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but I couldn’t swallow back the tears that were about to emerge. I woke up that morning happier than I’d been in a long time. The second Bones left, I pictured the way he would come home. I pictured the way we would start our lives together, the way he would ask me to be his wife. He wouldn’t get down on one knee and make a romantic gesture, but he would still sweep me off my feet.

  His hand cupped my cheek, and he pressed his forehead against mine. “I did everything to keep you. I proved myself to your family. I played by their rules. I made every sacrifice they asked of me. Your father was never going to accept me. He was always looking for a reason…and now he has one.”

  “But he said—”

  “Doesn’t matter. He changed his mind.”

  I closed my eyes, feeling the tears break the surface. “I can’t believe this.”

  He grabbed my hand on my thigh and squeezed it.

  “I just can’t…”

  “I know, baby.”

  He’d always been right. He knew we were destined to fail. There was never any hope. My family could never look past the crimes committed by Bones’s father. We would always stand on opposite sides of the battlefield. “It shouldn’t matter how our relationship started. The only thing that should matter is what it is now.”

  “He doesn’t see it that way. He never will.”

  “It’s my life…”

  He shook his head slightly. “He doesn’t see it that way either. He said you’ll hate him for a while, but one day, you’ll thank him for this. You’ll marry a good guy who will treat you right…and you’ll forget about me.”

  “I’ll never forget you. I don’t want anyone else.”

  He closed his eyes.

  I gripped his hand tighter. I felt him slip away even though he was right beside me. I felt my heart t
ear irreparably. I watched my entire life change, watched myself slip away. I couldn’t picture myself with another man, with anyone other than Bones. I’d already planned out the rest of our lives. My family was the most important thing in the world to me, but they shouldn’t have this much power over my future. I wasn’t a sixteen-year-old girl anymore. I was a grown woman who knew exactly what she wanted. “I tried doing this the right way. I tried to let my family see the man you really are. I tried to bring both of you together, to accept one another. But if they can’t accept us…then I don’t care.”

  Bones opened his eyes and pulled his face away so he could look at me better. Confusion entered his gaze, affection shortly afterward.

  “You’re the man I want—and that’s final.” If I had to split the holidays between Bones and my family, I would deal with it. If I had to watch my father stare at me with disappointment and disapproval, I would accept it. If I didn’t see my family as much as I used to because they couldn’t tolerate the man I loved, then that was the sacrifice I had to make.

  “Baby.” His fingers moved under my chin. “That means a lot to me.”

  “I love you…” When I blinked, more tears came. “I love you more than I’ll ever love another man. I can’t live without you…I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone else to be my husband. What we have is real, intense, beautiful. I know our relationship didn’t start the right way…but I would never change that.”

  His fingers slid down my neck, right over my pulse, and to my shoulder. His gaze shifted away from mine, and he watched his fingers slide underneath my shirt so he could feel my beating heart. He was still for a long time, like he was counting the number of beats per minute. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. And you’ll always be the only woman I will ever love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, no sacrifice I wouldn’t make. And that’s why I could never let you do this.”

  My eyes shifted back and forth as I looked at him. My heart flushed with another surge of pain when I listened to the defeat in his voice.

  “I know that’s not what you want. Maybe right now it is because you’re upset and emotional, but after time has passed, you’ll miss your family. You’ll miss the special relationship you have with your parents and your brother. Being with me will only distance you from them. Let’s not forget why we did all of this in the first place…because you need your family. I would never do that to you, never take away the people who mean the most to you.” His eyes lifted to mine. “I know what it’s like not having a family. It’s depressing, lonely, and empty. I wish my mother were still alive. I wish I had a brother or sister. I wish I had someone…but I don’t have anyone. As much as I want you, as much as I love you…” He shook his head. “I never want you to be alone…not even with me.”

  “They would still be my family—”

  “It wouldn’t be the same. You can always find another man to replace me, but you’ll never replace your family.”

  “I don’t want to replace you either…”

  “Neither do I.” He kept his voice steady even though I was covered in tears. “But we don’t have another choice. This is how it has to be.” He pulled his hand out of my shirt before he dug it into the back of my hair. He regarded me with a hard expression that was slightly tinted with sadness.

  “No…”

  He pressed his lips against my forehead and brought me into his chest. His powerful arms locked around me, and he held me close, his body warm and hard. His chin rested on my forehead, and he breathed with me.

  I cried into his chest, unable to stop the tears. I’d been with other men who were handsome, successful, and interesting, but not a single one compared to this man. I loved him with all my heart, loved him even when I knew I shouldn’t. It was the kind of love I couldn’t explain to another person. I could argue with my father forever, but he would never understand how I felt about this man. He claimed he loved my mother in a way words couldn’t express, but that love wasn’t different from what I had with this man. “I can’t do this.”

  Every time he took a breath, his chest expanded against mine. I could feel the shivers that rocked his body, the hints of emotional instability. I could feel the slight tremor of his hands, feel his heart crack inside his powerful chest. He didn’t say a single word, but he didn’t need to. I knew he was just as broken as I was. Even more broken. “Neither can I.”

  I still hadn’t accepted the truth.

  That this was over.

  Bones and I didn’t speak of it again. We didn’t establish when he would be leaving or how we would say goodbye. Neither one of us wanted to deal with it, so we both decided to ignore it.

  But we couldn’t ignore it forever.

  My father put a gun to his head and ordered him to disappear. But if my father showed up on my doorstep to make sure Bones left, I wouldn’t open the door. It would be the first time in my life that I would tell my father off.

  But I knew he wouldn’t come. I knew he respected my privacy…to some degree.

  We lay in bed side by side that night, my leg hooked over his waist while his face rested close to mine on the pillow. Instead of closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep, he chose to stare at me instead.

  Now that my relationship with Bones had an expiration date, all I could do was cherish every single moment I had left. He would walk out that door soon, and I would never watch him walk back through it. My nights would be lonely, and all I would have to get me through the darkness were our memories.

  I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I couldn’t picture myself married with a family. I couldn’t picture my future when this man was all I ever wanted. Would I ever fall in love again? Was there a man out there who could compete with the man who had claimed my heart, body, and soul?

  His hand slid up my back and underneath my hair. His fingers touched me lightly, his caresses gentle. His eyes never left my face, and instead of reflecting the pain that burned in his heart, his hands showed his depression. They shook a little, tiny vibrations that were almost undetectable.

  My hands kept gripping him, making sure he was really there. I didn’t want him to slip away, to leave me without saying goodbye. Bones was that kind of man, the kind who slipped out in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t have to watch him go. That was the last thing I wanted. “Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” Watching him walk out of my life would be the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but it was better than missing that moment altogether.

  His eyes softened. “Alright.”

  We still hadn’t discussed when he would be leaving. We hadn’t discussed anything. Would I stay at the house when he left? Would he return to Milan or Lake Garda? If I wanted to stay in Tuscany, I would have to stay with my parents, but that was the last place I would go. I didn’t hate them for the decision they made, but I certainly didn’t want to look at them right now.

  “I want to stay as long as I can…but I know that’s not good for either of us.”

  The longer he stayed, the more I dreaded the moment he would leave. Anticipating that terrible moment made me hurt all over. Just thinking about it stopped me from breathing. I would watch the love of my life walk out that door, and I wouldn’t stop him. I was saying goodbye to the greatest love I’d ever known.

  “So, I’m going to leave tomorrow.” Bones was handling this situation much better than I was. While I spent my time crying, he kept his stoic expression. He wasn’t angry or sad, almost indifferent. He’d never been an emotional man, but he’d always been passionate. That intensity disappeared the moment he left my father’s company. It was the first time he’d seemed so defeated.

  “No.” My palm went to his chest, resting right over his heart. “No, that’s too soon. I’m not ready.”

  “You’ll never be ready, baby.”

  “No.” My voice came out firmer, sterner than I’d ever been before. My breathing was haywire, and I could barely keep myself calm. Regardless of when he left, I wouldn’t be rea
dy for it. But I certainly wasn’t ready for him to leave that soon. “Just no, alright?” I pressed my face into his chest so I could find comfort in his warmth and strength. I didn’t want him to look at me, to see how weak I’d become. A part of me regretted loving him in the first place. My instincts had told me it would end this way, but I’d made the mistake of falling madly in love with him anyway.

  “Alright.” He brushed his lips against my forehead. “Then the day after.”

  My eyes were closed, and I inhaled his scent. “How can you be in such a hurry to say goodbye to me?”

  “That’s not how it is, and you know it.”

  “Seems like it.”

  “The longer we stretch this out, the more painful it’s going to be.”

  “Doesn’t seem like you’re in pain at all…” It must have been the anger over the situation talking, but now I was spitting out anything that came to mind. I was furious and frustrated that this was happening, that we’d come so far only to fail.

  “You know I am.”

  “Then why am I the only one who’s a mess?”

  He ran his hand down my hair and along my spine. “Just because I’m not a mess on the outside doesn’t mean I’m not a mess on the inside.”

  When I woke up the next morning, he was gone.

  He was nowhere in the house, and there wasn’t a note.

  I immediately panicked, thinking he’d left without saying goodbye even though I asked him not to.

  But then I remembered he wouldn’t lie to me, especially not now. I didn’t have a clue where he was or why he’d slipped out so early in the morning, but in my heart, I knew he would come back.

  I skipped breakfast because I wasn’t hungry, and I sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of his scotch. Instead of having coffee, I decided to hit the booze. I drank from the short glass as I stared at the large bottle filled with amber liquid.

  I was so heavy with sadness I didn’t know how to process it. It was so painful that it didn’t seem real. I couldn’t believe Bones would leave tomorrow morning.