The Mark

by Heather Burnside

  But before she could become too carried away with thoughts of Aaron, she switched her focus back to the article she had been working on. She quickly read through the notes she had written so that her mind could switch back into writing mode, then she started tapping away at the keyboard.

  *

  Maddy worked flat out till mid-afternoon. It was only when she had finished another article and stopped to look at the clock that she realised it was three o’clock and she still hadn’t eaten. No wonder her stomach was rumbling. She hadn’t even had a coffee break since her mid-morning one with Aaron. Thank God Andy had agreed to collect Rebecca from school and keep her till seven o’clock so that she could work later and get more done. She had felt guilty asking him at first, in view of what he was going through, but when she’d spoken to him he’d told her that his mother was over the worst and already starting to recover well.

  She broke off for half an hour and grabbed herself something quick to eat. She was exhausted; it must have been around two o’clock in the morning before she’d got to sleep and then she was up at seven after already having had a heavy weekend. She grabbed herself another coffee, hoping it would keep her alert for a few more hours as she still had a lot of work to get through.

  As soon as she broke off from work her mind drifted back to Aaron, who was never far from her thoughts. But this time she wasn’t thinking about how wonderful he was; she was thinking of how he’d snapped at her the previous night.

  It had shocked her, especially when he had used bad language. She’d never seen him like that before, and she hoped it was a one-off. Still, at least she had let him know she wouldn’t stand for it so perhaps he wouldn’t try it on again.

  For Maddy it was as if somebody had taken an artistic masterpiece and scrawled a red jagged line across one corner of it. Up until yesterday their relationship had been flawless but now it was marred. Why did he have to act like that and spoil things? Perhaps, like her, he had just been tired and overstressed. After all, he still had a lot of things to sort out.

  But then, if he was so busy, why wasn’t he in a rush to leave this morning? Surely there were things he should be getting on with? Perhaps he wasn’t as self-disciplined as her when it came to work. She knew a few people like that; they took everything in their stride and then had a last-minute panic when things weren’t done. Maybe he was one of those types.

  Thinking about it, she didn’t really know him that well yet.

  Her eyes zoomed in on the lovely flowers he’d bought for her. Then there were the chocolates as well as all the other little gifts he’d brought, and the considerate way he’d made Rebecca feel all grown up by bringing her flowers too. Quickly dismissing the few negative thoughts, she instead thought again of everything that was good about Aaron.

  Once she had taken her break, Maddy returned to work, thankful that the coffee had woken her up a bit. For a few more hours she continued to work on her PC till the insistent ringing of the phone grabbed her attention. Curious as to who it could be, she instinctively looked at the clock. She realised what time it was just as she answered the call.

  *

  ‘I’ve brought my princesses DVD to watch, Daddy,’ said Rebecca, pulling the DVD out of her rucksack. ‘Will you watch it with me later?’

  Andy wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought of watching a princesses DVD. Maddy would usually watch that sort of thing with Rebecca. But he liked to make the most of his time with his daughter so instead of a flat-out refusal he thought he’d talk her into watching another DVD instead.

  ‘Didn’t you watch that one on Sunday with your mum?’ he asked, recalling the way Rebecca often chatted about how much she enjoyed watching DVDs with her mum and how the princesses one was her favourite.

  ‘Not all of it. Mum was busy and then she was on the phone with Clare,’ she said.

  ‘Really?’ he asked, knowing it wasn’t like Maddy not to spare time for her daughter. ‘What was she busy doing?’

  ‘Working, on her computer.’

  ‘Oh. On a Sunday?’

  ‘Yes. Mummy’s always busy working or being with Aaron.’

  Andy felt a little perturbed on hearing this. He couldn’t understand why Maddy would be working on a Sunday, especially after Rebecca had already been with him most of the weekend. Then she’d also asked him to pick up Rebecca tonight so she could catch up with some work. Why was she so behind? Unless, of course, she was spending all her time with this new man.

  Rebecca must have picked up on his disquiet as she said, ‘I like Aaron though. He makes Mummy laugh except when she’s working. Then she sometimes shouts at me. Aaron doesn’t shout at me. He brought me some flowers.’

  ‘I see,’ said Andy. ‘Well, he sounds very nice.’

  His words disguised his true feelings. He was perturbed at the fact that Mandy had been shouting at Rebecca. He was also never happy when Maddy was seeing someone, but there was no way he was going to let his eight-year-old daughter know any of that. He couldn’t hide those feelings from himself though. Apart from being a little jealous at the thought of his ex-wife with someone else, he always worried about Maddy introducing new men into Rebecca’s life.

  He knew he had no right to deny Maddy a chance at happiness. It was his fault the marriage had failed when all was said and done, and he would always feel guilty about the hurt he had caused Maddy. A part of him still cared about her, and he just hoped she wasn’t making a big mistake.

  He looked at the clock. ‘I don’t think we’ll have much time to watch DVDs anyway, Becky. Mummy will be here any minute.’

  He noted that Maddy was in fact forty minutes late, which wasn’t like her at all. Once again a feeling of disquiet niggled away at him. Sensing that something wasn’t quite right, he picked up the house phone and dialled Maddy’s number. It took a while for her to answer the phone but when she did she sounded disconnected, as though she had other things on her mind.

  ‘Hi, Maddy. It’s Andy. I was just wondering if you are coming to pick Becky up soon.’

  ‘What? Oh, bloody hell! Is that the time?’

  ‘Yes. It was seven we agreed, wasn’t it?’ asked Andy, even though he was pretty sure it was.

  ‘Yes. Yes, of course. I’m so sorry. I got so carried away with the article I was writing that I lost all track of time. I’ll be round as soon as I can.’

  ‘OK, see you soon,’ said Andy.

  He put the phone down and tried to put all thoughts of Maddy out of his mind so he could focus on Rebecca while she was still with him. Maybe he was overreacting where Maddy was concerned. After all, her parenting skills had never given him cause for concern in the past. Perhaps she just had a lot of work on and was feeling overstressed.

  He decided not to voice his concerns to Maddy when she came to collect Rebecca, knowing she would see it as a criticism. It was important to stay amicable for Rebecca’s sake, but a niggling doubt had taken root in the back of his mind and it refused to go away.

  26

  The next evening Gilly was on edge when he arrived in The Rose and Crown. He knew a fix would make him feel calmer, which was why he’d arranged to meet his dealer there. Ignoring Crystal and some of the other girls who were sitting at a table, he went straight to the bar and ordered a drink. The last thing he needed was Crystal bothering him when he was already feeling strung out.

  He had a quick look round the room but was disappointed to find that his dealer hadn’t arrived yet and it wasn’t long before Crystal sidled up to him at the bar and whispered into his ear.

  ‘You got any gear?’

  He glared at her, annoyed that she was mentioning it at the bar. His arrangement with his dealer was his secret and he didn’t want anyone else finding out. Although the landlord turned a blind eye to most things, even he wouldn’t be happy at people dealing drugs in his pub.

  ‘Shush,’ he said, his eyes flashing her a warning look. ‘Not now. Later.’

  Crystal took heed of his warning and went back to jo
in the other girls.

  It was only ten minutes later when his dealer arrived but it seemed longer. Gilly was still tense and as he stood at the bar he felt nauseous and shaky, his limbs twitchy.

  His dealer headed towards the bar. Gilly had spotted him through the bar’s mirror even before he drew up alongside him. He strutted through the pub high-fiving his mates and trading flirty looks with the women, most of whom gazed longingly at him.

  He had the kind of good looks and charisma that drew everybody in, and a dazzling smile to go with them. Gilly suspected that he indulged in a few drugs himself, but he could tell from his appearance that he wasn’t dependent on the drugs he peddled, unlike most of his clientele. His boyish good looks were still intact and a sharp contrast to the sallow complexions and facial sores of many of the women he passed. He also dressed stylishly in the latest designer gear.

  ‘You took your time,’ said Gilly, but the man just smiled in that overconfident way he had and then ordered them both a drink.

  Usually Gilly would wait a while before doing the deal but not today. As he tried to make small talk with his dealer, he could feel himself becoming irritated with him. The cocky, smart-arsed bastard!

  Gilly put his pint down on the bar, trying to stay cool as he announced, ‘I’m going outside for a cig.’ It was his way of letting his supplier know that he would be in the men’s toilets.

  Inside the gents Gilly was relieved to find that he was alone and for some minutes he waited for his supplier. While he waited two customers entered but each time Gilly kept out of the way, hiding in a cubicle, until he heard them go out again. He felt jumpy and fidgety but knew he had to wait. His dealer would never leave the bar area at the same time as him. It would look too suspicious.

  Eventually he heard the door opening again and dashed into a cubicle. Then he heard his name being called and he sighed with relief and went to join his dealer.

  ‘Thank fuck for that,’ he said. ‘I thought you’d never take the hint. Let’s just get it over with. You got any coke ready?’

  ‘What? To take now?’

  ‘Yeah, course. I need a fuckin’ fix, mate,’ Gilly said.

  ‘Not in here. It’s too risky.’

  ‘I don’t give a shit. Just give me the gear then you can fuck off out of it. You don’t need to stay.’

  His supplier quickly carried out the deal and left. Gilly went straight into a cubicle and opened up the small container of white powder. He licked his forefinger, dipped it in and placed it under his right nostril, inhaling deeply so that he could get as much of the powder into his system as possible. Then he repeated the action on his left nostril, and waited for it to take effect.

  Within a couple of minutes he felt the rush. His anxiety disappeared; he was on a high, confident, full of energy and ready to take on the world. He left the gents and strode to the bar.

  *

  When Crystal went back to join her friends at the table, she kept a watch on Gilly, who was standing at the bar. He had snapped at her and she didn’t like that at all. She could tell he wanted a fix; his limbs were twitchy as though he was unable to settle, and he was irritable. But she wanted a fix too. She waited for him, making small talk with her friends, while she watched him leave the room, followed some time afterwards by his dealer.

  He avoided eye contact with her as he walked away from the bar, which annoyed her even more. The way he treated her was bad enough. The only reason she tolerated it was because she was in love with him, and he did look after her. He kept her in drugs and took care of any aggravation. But now she knew what else he got up to, it was just too much.

  When he passed within a couple of metres of her table, she looked at him with distaste. How dare he chase another woman when he’s with me, she thought, and then ignore me as though I don’t matter?

  Eventually Gilly came back into the room and went straight to the bar, where he carried on drinking his pint. Crystal continued to wait; she knew he’d give her a sign just as soon as he was ready. It wasn’t long before he finished the last of his drink, said goodbye to his cronies then nodded at Crystal on his way out. She dashed after him, eager to get hold of some gear.

  Outside she found him in the side street. He was buzzing, bouncing around on his feet with a big wide grin on his face. ‘Got some good shit here,’ he said, taking her into the shadow of a doorway so he could hand over her share. ‘I’ll take it out of your money tonight,’ he said.

  ‘OK, thanks.’

  ‘You off now?’ he asked after Crystal had taken a quick snort.

  ‘Yeah, I was just waiting for some stuff.’

  ‘OK,’ he said, patting her on the behind. ‘Be good.’

  Then he went back into the pub and Crystal set off for her night’s work. She’d noticed the change in him and realised he had probably taken something while he was still in the pub. He’d even been a bit affectionate with her, if the pat on the backside could be considered affectionate, which was as good as it got with Gilly these days.

  Only a few days ago she would have been grateful for his change in attitude and for that one small sign of affection. But not now. Because what she knew changed everything. And although his interest in the journalist upset her, having something on Gilly also gave her a certain amount of control.

  She now knew all about what he got up to and was determined to use that information to her advantage. What exactly she would do, she wasn’t sure yet. She feared Gilly’s reaction if she faced him with it, so she’d have to find some other way of hitting back at him without him knowing. Somehow, she’d make sure she got her revenge though.

  27

  Aaron was looking forward to spending a night in Maddy’s company again. He regretted being snappy last time he saw her, a few days ago, and had vowed to himself that he would keep his cool this time. The non-stop questions were getting a bit much, but he had been thinking about how to deal with the situation and had come up with an answer.

  He smiled as he rang Maddy’s doorbell, carrying a bottle of her favourite wine. Within seconds she was standing on the other side of the door, but his smile slipped when he noticed Rebecca standing next to her.

  ‘Hi!’ she greeted, kissing him on the cheek.

  ‘Hiya,’ Rebecca echoed, excitedly, but he didn’t return the greeting. Instead he passed Maddy the bottle of wine and stepped into the hallway.

  ‘Ooh, lovely. My favourite,’ she said.

  Damn! he thought. Why is the bloody kid here?

  They went inside and Rebecca gushed about a new book her dad had bought her. ‘Can I show it to Aaron, Mummy?’ she asked.

  ‘Course you can, love,’ said Maddy, and Rebecca rushed upstairs to find it.

  ‘What’s Becky doing here?’ he asked Maddy, failing to hide his disappointment.

  ‘Andy couldn’t have her. He had to collect his mother from the hospital and settle her back into her own home.’

  ‘He’s got a nerve, hasn’t he? You’ve had her all week!’

  ‘Not really. His mother has been quite ill and he has her for me often enough, which has helped us to spend more time together. Anyway, you and Becky get on, don’t you?’

  ‘Well, yeah,’ said Aaron, suddenly realising how much he had let his disappointment show.

  He walked over to Maddy and placed his hand on her waist, his lips only centimetres from hers. ‘She’s a great kid but I suppose I just wanted you all to myself,’ he said, feigning cheerfulness. ‘Can I help it if you’re so bloody desirable?’ he asked before kissing her passionately.

  Maddy soon pulled away. ‘Don’t. Becky will be back down any minute.’

  As if on cue Rebecca walked into the room and took her book over to Aaron. He pretended to be interested in the bright pink book with a picture of a cat on the front.

  ‘I’ll go and get some glasses for the wine,’ said Maddy, smiling in amusement. ‘I’ll fetch us a few nibbles too.’

  Once Maddy was out of the room, Aaron thrust the book back at Rebec
ca. ‘It looks like a good book,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you go and read it in your room?’

  He could see a look of confusion on the child’s face. She had obviously been expecting to stay in their company. No chance, he thought. He didn’t want a kid cramping his style. He had come here to spend time with Maddy, alone; not with her kid in tow.

  ‘I don’t want to,’ said Rebecca. ‘Will you read it to me, Aaron? Please?’

  ‘No! Do as you’re told and take it up to your room. Me and your mum want to spend some time alone.’

  ‘But…’ she began, until Aaron flashed her a warning look. ‘Mum!’ she called, turning away from him.

  Aaron quickly grabbed her by the wrist before she had chance to go in search of her mother. ‘I said go up to your fuckin’ room!’ he snarled, noticing the look of terror on the child’s face as she turned back and looked at him.

  For a moment she tried to pull away but he tightened his hold on her wrist, twisting the delicate flesh till it brought tears to her eyes. Once he had her full attention, he said, ‘Now, are you gonna do as you’re told and stay in your room?’

  ‘Yes,’ cried Rebecca.

  He let go of her wrist and as she walked away, he added, ‘And not a fuckin’ word about this to anyone, if you know what’s good for you!’

  Rebecca fled the room in tears just before Maddy returned carrying a tray of snacks on which she’d also placed two glasses of wine. ‘Where’s Becky?’ she asked.

  Aaron shrugged. ‘Dunno, gone back to her room, I think. Probably didn’t want to be down here with us boring grown-ups,’ he joked.

  ‘Oh,’ said Maddy, giggling then putting the tray down on the coffee table. ‘I could have sworn I heard her call my name.’