The Mark

by Heather Burnside

  Maddy went to open her hand to check what it was but he stopped her. ‘No, not here,’ he said. ‘Put it inside your handbag. It’s just a little something for you. I know things have been stressful for you lately and I feel a bit responsible as I’ve been taking up so much of your time. This will help to pick you up if you need it. Next time you’re feeling a bit low, stressed out or just overtired, take some. It’ll make you feel better.’

  ‘No, I couldn’t,’ she said as she tried to pass it back to him.

  ‘Why not?’ he asked. ‘You’ve had it before and it didn’t do you any harm. In fact, if I remember rightly, you rather enjoyed it.’ He gazed intently at her, noticing her flush at his words, and he grinned wickedly.

  ‘Seriously, though, it won’t do you any harm, as long as you only take a bit and don’t make a habit of it. It’s my little present to you and I’d be offended if you refused it.’

  She looked shamefaced, ‘OK, thank you,’ she said, placing it reluctantly inside her handbag.

  As they drove back Aaron became immersed in his own thoughts. He was pleased Maddy had believed him when he’d feigned interest in the house, and she’d even gone along with his little lie to entice the sales clerk into letting them have a viewing.

  She’d also believed Angie was his mother, and taken the coke he’d offered her. He was happy with the way things were going and, where Maddy was concerned, it was all so easy.

  32

  It was the following evening. Aaron had left that afternoon to go back to the Midland and Rebecca had returned from her father’s and Maddy thought she’d take the opportunity to have a chat with Rebecca while they were alone. She was concerned that Rebecca might have been telling lies about Aaron and she wanted to find out why that might be.

  ‘Becky,’ she said, as she popped her head through the door of her daughter’s bedroom. She walked over and sat down on the bed beside her. ‘I want us to have a little talk. It’s about what you said to Daddy about Aaron. Do you remember? You told Daddy that Aaron had been swearing at you.’ Rebecca nodded but didn’t say anything so Maddy continued. ‘Why did you say that, Becky?’

  Rebecca looked at her, wide-eyed, then lowered her head and shrugged.

  ‘You know it’s not a nice thing to say, don’t you?’

  Rebecca kept her head down but nodded again.

  ‘Then why would you say that, Becky?’

  Her daughter still kept her head lowered and didn’t react so Maddy gently took her chin and lifted it until she was facing her. ‘Come on now, Becky. Tell me. I want to know.’

  Her daughter just stared at her, but didn’t speak. She looked uncomfortable, her eyes flitting about, unable to maintain eye contact, and Maddy took it as a sign of guilt.

  ‘Come on, Becky. I’m waiting. Aaron didn’t really swear at you, did he? Aaron never swears at you.’

  As Maddy watched her daughter she saw her eyes fill with tears and Rebecca tried to pull away from her.

  ‘Do you not like Aaron, Becky?’

  Her daughter still didn’t reply. ‘If you’re bothered by me spending so much time with Aaron, then tell me. Are you, Becky?’

  For a few moments Rebecca remained silent, and Maddy continued to hold her chin so that she was facing her. She fixed her with a stony stare, refusing to budge until her daughter spoke. She noticed a tear fall onto Rebecca’s cheek and tried to ignore her feelings of guilt as she waited for an answer.

  ‘No,’ said Rebecca, in the tiniest of voices.

  ‘No, what? No, you’re not bothered about me spending so much time with Aaron or no, you don’t like him?’

  ‘No, I don’t like him,’ said Rebecca, her bottom lip jutting out sulkily.

  ‘Why, Becky, when he’s always been so nice to you?’

  When Rebecca didn’t reply, Maddy sighed and said, ‘You know Mummy is allowed to have her own friends, don’t you, Becky? It doesn’t mean I love you any less.’

  Rebecca nodded slowly but didn’t speak, and Maddy persisted. ‘So what is it that’s bothering you, Becky? Why did you tell Daddy that Aaron swore?’

  Rebecca shrugged again but she still didn’t say anything further. Maddy resigned herself to the fact that her daughter wasn’t going to open up, so she changed tack. ‘Right, I want you to promise me, Becky, that you won’t go telling such tales to Daddy again. It’s naughty to do that, do you understand?’ Rebecca nodded again. ‘Right, well, let me hear you promise you won’t do it again,’ Maddy persisted.

  ‘Yes,’ mumbled Rebecca.

  ‘Yes, what?’

  ‘Yes, I promise,’ she said, her eyes downcast and her voice barely a whisper.

  Maddy let go of her daughter’s chin and stood up. ‘Right, well, let that be the end of it,’ she said, then she left her daughter alone and returned to the living room.

  Maddy was still troubled. She had been determined to find out why her daughter was telling tales, but she had given nothing away. Perhaps it was like Aaron had said: she was seeking attention because she was feeling a bit jealous. Unless Aaron had sworn at her. But Maddy quickly dismissed that thought.

  No, Rebecca was obviously telling little fibs and, Maddy thought, it was the last thing she needed. Up until now, she and Andy had managed the arrangements for Rebecca’s care amicably and Maddy didn’t really want to get into a situation where she and Andy were at loggerheads. She’d just have to hope that things settled down.

  Her thoughts soon switched to Aaron and, as she thought about the previous night that she had spent with him, a shiver of excitement ran through her body. The sex had been phenomenal; the best yet. They’d used cocaine again and, although Maddy promised herself that she wouldn’t make a regular habit of it, she loved the added buzz that it gave her. It was only a few hours since Aaron had left her company but already she was eager to see him again.

  *

  Maddy had dropped Rebecca at school that morning. Since their discussion the previous day, Maddy hadn’t mentioned Rebecca’s little fib again. She’d decided to let it go and hope that there were no further incidents, but she couldn’t help noticing how subdued Rebecca was.

  Now, as she ploughed through her work, Maddy was trying not to think about her concerns. It was mid-morning when she heard the sound of the letterbox clattering. That will be the postman, she thought, noticing that it was his usual time for deliveries and then hearing the mail land on the hallway carpet.

  Deciding it was time for a coffee break, Maddy flicked the switch on the kettle, then retrieved her mail while she waited for it to boil. She quickly sorted through her letters, which were mainly junk with the exception of one from the building society. Curious, she opened it and was alarmed to find that they were demanding payment for last month’s mortgage, which hadn’t been paid. Surely that couldn’t be right, but she decided to check to be on the safe side.

  Maddy strode over to her computer and signed into her online banking account. She was alarmed to find that, not only had her mortgage payment not gone through, but she was also a further three hundred pounds overdrawn. Not quite believing her eyes, she scanned through the figures on the screen, checking that there hadn’t been some sort of error. But everything seemed to be in order except that her outgoings exceeded her income.

  Maddy never went overdrawn! She usually earned far in excess of her outgoings so she didn’t need to worry about bills, feeling confident they would be covered. But now, as she stared in shock at the figures on the screen, she realised that she had let things slide. It was a long time since she had checked her bank balance. She had been so busy lately that it was yet another thing she had neglected, and she needed to put everything else to one side while she chased up some outstanding payments.

  Maddy checked the spreadsheet on which she recorded all her income and compared it to her bank account. There was only one company that hadn’t paid her and that was for a small amount, which wouldn’t have impacted her account that much. But as she checked she saw that her income for that month
was well down on previous months.

  It was with startling clarity that Maddy realised her lack of production, together with the business she had lost, had caused a drastic reduction in income. Maddy felt a rush of adrenalin as panic gripped her. She’d never been in debt in her life! The fear of losing her home was too big a worry for Maddy and she knew she had to work much harder if she was to get her bank account out of the red.

  *

  When Crystal woke up that Monday morning Gilly was still snoring gently beside her. She quietly slipped out of bed, knowing that Candice would soon be up and wanting her attention. It was the first time Gilly had come back to her place for ages. At one time he’d have been back several nights a week after she’d said goodbye to her last customer, but not now.

  The sex had changed too. He used to be really attentive but now it was beginning to feel as if he were just another client, there to satiate his own needs regardless of how she felt. But the difference was that Gilly was the man she loved and it was her love for him that made her stick by him. She wished, not for the first time, that he didn’t have this hold over her.

  Crystal knew the change in Gilly had something to do with his interest in the journalist. The way he sat in his car outside her house for ages just wasn’t normal. But she knew better than to challenge him about it. He’d probably go ape shit if he knew she was on to him. So, for now, she’d put up with it but not for long.

  33

  When Maddy arrived at school to collect Rebecca on Thursday of the following week, she was disappointed to find that all the parking spaces had been taken. As usual recently, Maddy was running late. She had been trying to utilise every spare minute to get as much work done as possible, having got behind again due to the amount of time she had been spending with Aaron. Unfortunately, while she was busy typing up an article, she’d become so engrossed in her work that she had lost track of time.

  She passed by the school building looking out for any available space in which to park her car. Nothing. After she had passed the school she turned left but was disconcerted to find that this road was jam-packed too.

  Eventually Maddy found a space but it was several streets away. She parked the car then ran till she got to the top of the street. She rounded the bend and continued running. In the distance she could see a few parents with their children. Damn! thought Maddy. They were already on their way home and she was still a few minutes away.

  By the time Maddy arrived at school she was almost ten minutes late. The yard was empty and Maddy knew she’d find Rebecca inside with her teacher, Miss Lazenby. Maddy knew the drill by now; it was the third time she’d been late in as many weeks.

  She walked into the classroom, her face flushed and her hair messy. Rebecca was at the back of the classroom writing in an exercise book while Miss Lazenby sat at her desk at the front attending to some paperwork. Rebecca looked up from her work as Maddy walked in, but she remained seated, waiting for her teacher’s permission to leave her desk.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Maddy, directing the apology at Miss Lazenby as she made her way towards Rebecca.

  Miss Lazenby, usually very pleasant and forgiving, gave a weak smile before she spoke. ‘Mrs Chambers, could I have a word, please?’ Then her eyes flitted to Rebecca. ‘Can you carry on with what you’re doing for now, please, Rebecca? I need to have a word with your mother.’

  ‘Certainly,’ said Maddy and she started to make her way over to Miss Lazenby’s desk, but the teacher got up from her seat.

  ‘I think outside might be better,’ she said, and Maddy could tell from her posture and body language that this was going to be an awkward discussion.

  They stood outside the classroom, near enough for Rebecca to find them if necessary but far enough for her not to hear the conversation. Miss Lazenby came straight to the point, her eyes twitching nervously as she spoke.

  ‘Mrs Chambers, do you think you could start arriving at the proper time to pick Rebecca up?’ she asked.

  Maddy wasn’t sure why she was making such a big deal of it, knowing that teachers rarely went home as soon as the pupils finished. Nevertheless, she felt duty bound to apologise again. ‘Yes, yes. I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I was a bit late setting off and it was impossible to get a parking space so—’

  Miss Lazenby cut her off, appearing anxious to say what she had to say as soon as possible. ‘I’m afraid this is the third time in three weeks. Perhaps you could leave home a little earlier or ask someone else to collect Rebecca if you aren’t able to do it.’

  Maddy was embarrassed at being addressed in this manner. She felt like a naughty schoolgirl. ‘No, no, it’s OK,’ she said. ‘I can collect Becky. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.’

  She raised her hand ready to push the handle on the classroom door, but Miss Lazenby wasn’t finished yet. She cleared her throat before continuing.

  ‘Erm, there is another matter I need to discuss with you.’

  Maddy recognised the severity of her tone and raised her eyebrows inquisitively.

  ‘I’m afraid we’ve noticed some changes in Rebecca’s behaviour,’ said Miss Lazenby. ‘She doesn’t seem to be engaging as much in the classroom and has become a bit distanced from the other children.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ asked Maddy.

  ‘Well, it’s difficult to pinpoint but she seems troubled, as though she has something on her mind.’ For a few seconds there was an awkward silence between them until Miss Lazenby asked, ‘Is there anything you’re aware of that might be troubling her?’

  Thoughts of Rebecca’s claims about Aaron swearing flashed through Maddy’s mind but she quickly decided not to mention that. She didn’t want to give the school reason to think that all wasn’t well at home. Anyway, it probably wasn’t even relevant.

  ‘No,’ said Maddy, but she was slow to react.

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Miss Lazenby. ‘Is there anything at all that might have upset her?’

  ‘No, not at all,’ said Maddy with conviction, trying to compensate for her initial slow response. ‘Are you sure it isn’t something at school? And what exactly is the problem?’ Maddy asked, becoming defensive. ‘What do you mean by distanced?’

  ‘Well, like I said, it’s difficult to pinpoint. It’s more a feeling that she doesn’t seem as happy as usual. Not always joining in games with the other children, sitting quietly on her own, that sort of thing.’

  ‘Well, I would have thought it’s a good thing that she sits quietly. At least she isn’t being disruptive.’

  ‘Yes, I appreciate that, Mrs Chambers. I wasn’t suggesting that she’s disruptive. It might be something and nothing, but I just felt that I should make you aware of it, that’s all. If you can think of anything, anything at all, please let the school know.’

  ‘Yes, I will do,’ said Maddy, reaching once again towards the door handle.

  Before she had chance to push the door open, Miss Lazenby added a few quick words. ‘And if you could please get to school on time, Mrs Chambers. I’m sure it would be better for Rebecca if she sees you in the playground when all her friends’ parents arrive.’

  Now Maddy realised what the big deal was. She was so busy thinking about the teacher’s reaction to her being late that she hadn’t thought about the effect on Rebecca. As the realisation hit her, she felt a stab of guilt, picturing Rebecca’s eager little face as she waited for her to arrive. The look of disappointment when she realised that her mother was late, yet again. And her slumped shoulders as she trudged dejectedly back to the classroom.

  ‘Yes, of course I will,’ said Maddy, dashing into the classroom to hide her look of shame and embarrassment at being rebuked by a woman ten years her junior.

  *

  When Maddy arrived home she decided to have a chat with Rebecca and see if she could get her to open up about what was troubling her. But, just like their last chat, Rebecca remained tight-lipped. Maddy tried to tell herself that if Rebecca really was troubled then she would have told
her about it, and part of her was more focused on returning to that article she had left. If she was quick she might just finish it before teatime.

  It took longer than she’d thought and by the time she had typed the last word it was turned five o’clock. The thought of cooking a big meal at this time didn’t really appeal so she decided to settle for a quick dinner of beans on toast. It wouldn’t do them any harm for once.

  After Maddy had finished dishing up their dinner she gave Rebecca a shout, and she came trundling down from her room. Straight away, a look of disappointment flashed across her face when she saw the meagre meal set out before her.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Maddy.

  Rebecca remained standing, looking contemptuously at the meal. ‘You said we were having cheese and onion pie,’ she said.

  Maddy remembered her promise to make Rebecca her home-made cheese and onion pie. ‘I said I’d do it if I wasn’t too busy, Becky, but unfortunately I haven’t had time. I’ll make it for you another night. Now sit down, please, and eat up.’

  ‘No. You won’t make it. I know you won’t. You’re always too busy since Aaron started coming here.’

  ‘It’s got nothing to do with Aaron,’ said Maddy. ‘I need to work to make a living otherwise you wouldn’t have all the nice things you take for granted. And, as I’ve told you before, Mummy is allowed to spend time with her friends. Now do as you’re told and eat your food.’

  ‘I don’t want it!’ shouted Rebecca, who then fled to her room in tears.

  After a few seconds in shock, Maddy stormed after her, furious by now. ‘Don’t you dare leave the table! Get back here at once,’ she shouted up the stairs.

  But when Becky didn’t reply she followed her to her room. There she found her face down on her bed, the sound of her sobbing stifled by her pillow, which she clutched to her face.

  For a moment Maddy felt sorry for her, knowing that it hadn’t always been easy for her since the divorce, but she knew she couldn’t afford to let her get away with such behaviour.