The Mark

by Heather Burnside

  Maddy couldn’t believe how she had willingly let Aaron into every part of her life. She had shared so much with him, her dreams and ambitions, and she’d even let him into her daughter’s life. She felt so guilty to think that she’d put Rebecca at risk from this lowlife scum.

  Then Maddy thought about how intimately he knew her. In some ways he knew her more than anybody ever had. He’d explored every centimetre of her body and, in their mutual quest for the ultimate sexual experience, he had taken her to places nobody had ever taken her.

  As she recalled what he had done, she no longer felt a pleasurable thrill. Instead she felt repulsed, defiled and sick to the pit of her stomach. As the physical reaction kicked in, she felt the urge to vomit and she rushed to the bathroom. There she knelt over the toilet bowl and emptied the contents of her stomach, retching violently until she could retch no more.

  For several minutes afterwards she remained there, crying pitifully, the tears and mucus dribbling down her face, and the ends of her hair covered in vomit. She tore the engagement ring from her finger and dropped it into the bowl, where it floated amongst the puke before she flushed it away. A fitting end, she thought.

  Then something else came to her: the cravings. Because, apart from destroying her life in so many other ways, Aaron had also got her hooked on drugs and she was now in the early stages of addiction. The physical effects of her cravings cut sharply into her sorrow, leaving her bitter and resentful.

  It was a while before Maddy got up off the bathroom floor. She had an overwhelming need to feel clean so she took a shower, changed her clothes and reapplied her make-up. Then, determined to pull herself together, she went downstairs and made herself a hot drink.

  But the negative thoughts were still invading her brain and she knew she needed someone to confide in. Someone who knew her well and would offer support when she was at her lowest ebb. So she picked up her phone and punched in the number.

  ‘Andy,’ she said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. ‘Can you come over, please? I need to see you.’

  *

  ‘OK, Mr Faulkner, if you’d just like to sign here, please,’ said the hotel’s proprietor, smiling at the good-looking young man standing in front of her.

  Aaron smiled back then signed the name M. Faulkner on the form that she handed to him.

  ‘I’ll show you up to your room now,’ she said. ‘Do you not have a case with you?’

  ‘No, I prefer to travel light,’ he said.

  Aaron had settled on the name Malcolm Faulkner as it tallied with one of the stolen credit cards he was carrying. That way it would match up if he paid for anything on the card while he was there. It was a bit of an old-fashioned name and wouldn’t have been his first choice, but he wasn’t bothered. He just needed an alias.

  He had found a cheap hotel a couple of miles from the airport. It was far enough away from the city centre to stop him getting spotted but also near enough to get there quickly if necessary. And, best of all, Flixton was even nearer to him than the city centre.

  He knew the police were onto him as he’d stayed with one of his friends from The Rose and Crown on Friday night. After he’d found out what he wanted to know from the friend, he’d decided to get out of there as soon as possible. His friend was asking too many questions about whether he’d really beaten up Crystal and left her for dead, and Aaron was nervous about him giving away his whereabouts.

  Once he was inside the hotel room, Aaron lay back on the bed and kicked off his shoes. His mind was still buzzing from everything that had occurred recently. He regretted what had happened between him and Crystal, but he quickly quashed those feelings, telling himself that Crystal had got what she deserved.

  The main cause of his sorrow was that he was already missing his precious Maddy. His perfect woman. She had been his. She still was. As he recalled all the good times he had spent with her, a beaming smile lit up his face. He felt a pull towards Maddy that was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. It was like a sense of belonging, because that lifestyle was his due and she was his perfect match.

  Their love was powerful and he knew that her love for him was just as strong as his love for her. Surely, then, she would be able to forgive him for what had happened. Maddy would understand why he’d done it. He’d done it for them because they belonged together and he couldn’t afford to let Crystal spoil it. And he felt sure that Maddy wouldn’t want anything to come between them either.

  52

  Andy was shocked to receive the call from Maddy. She had sounded upset on the phone but said she preferred to discuss it with him in person, whatever ‘it’ was. He found it strange that she should be upset after she had just got engaged. He’d have thought she would have been happy.

  His mind shot back to last night and their row. He wondered if some of his words had got to her and made her think again. On the other hand, maybe after giving it some thought she had become more annoyed and wanted to have it out with him. He hoped not.

  Andy pulled up in his car, across from Maddy’s house, and walked to the door with Rebecca. As soon as he saw Maddy he could tell she wasn’t herself and he detected a slight tremor in her voice as she said, ‘Becky, could you go to your room, please, for a bit? Me and your father need to talk.’

  Rebecca tutted. ‘Not again,’ she said but neither of them reproached her for her attitude. Andy knew she had a point.

  He stepped inside and waited till Maddy shut the door, then gazed at her. ‘What is it?’ he asked.

  ‘Oh, Andy,’ she said, the tremor now even more evident. ‘It’s Aaron.’

  Then she dissolved into tears. ‘Maddy?’ he asked, puzzled, but Maddy was unable to speak so he took her in his arms till her crying abated.

  As he held her it was difficult to see her so upset and his heart cried with her. He hadn’t seen her this distraught since the day they’d split up four years previously.

  Then she looked up at him, her face blotchy, and he could see now that her features were also strained. ‘Come through to the lounge,’ she said. ‘I’ll make us a brew.’

  Andy was horrified to find out the brutal truth about Aaron. He’d suspected that there was something not right about him, and had been frustrated at his inability to make Maddy see sense, but even he could never have imagined anything as explosive as this.

  ‘Jesus!’ he said. ‘A bloody pimp and a drug addict, living with my daughter?’

  Maddy nodded regretfully and Andy could see the sorrow in her eyes.

  ‘How could you not know?’ he asked, outraged.

  ‘He was very convincing,’ said Maddy, her voice small and shaky.

  He could see that she was struggling with the enormity of what had happened to her and he decided not to press her further, despite his annoyance. It was a big enough shock for him, but he could imagine that the effect on Maddy was much worse. The last thing she needed right now was him saying I told you so.

  Andy could tell she was feeling guilty enough as it was. He knew that feeling well. He had carried a feeling of guilt for the last four years, ever since his affair had come to light and he’d seen the effect it had had on Maddy and their daughter.

  And in a way he felt partly responsible for Maddy’s ill-fated relationship with this imposter as well as those before it. He’d seen how devastated she’d been after the divorce despite her attempts to tough it out and make the break from him. It had left her vulnerable when it came to relationships and he’d had to stand by and watch her make a hash of her life.

  ‘I feel so foolish for not seeing through him,’ she said. ‘He was just so… so… completely convincing. And… and… I’m so sorry for bringing him into Becky’s life. I just hope she’ll get…’

  Then her voice broke and Andy took her into his arms again and stroked her hair. ‘Hey, it wasn’t your fault,’ he said. ‘You weren’t to know. Some of these conmen can be very convincing. You hear about it all the time.’

  Then he heard footsteps in the ha
ll and the two of them quickly pulled away, Maddy trying to wipe away her tears with the back of her hand.

  Rebecca appeared in the doorway. ‘Are you crying because of Aaron, Mummy?’

  ‘No… no, darling, it’s nothing,’ said Maddy, between her tears. ‘Nothing for you to worry about. Why don’t you go back to your room until me and Daddy have finished talking?’

  But Rebecca didn’t go back to her room. Instead she crossed the lounge and sat down, looking across at them.

  ‘Mummy, I heard you talking about Aaron. Will he still be coming here?’ she asked.

  Then she paused and looked guiltily at Maddy, as though unsure whether she was speaking out of turn. She came over to them and snuggled up to her dad as if seeking reassurance from her one sensible parent, and she received it in the form of a strong hand cupped round her shoulder and a knowing smile.

  ‘No, sweetheart,’ said Andy. ‘He won’t be coming here any more.’

  ‘Good, I’m glad,’ she said. Then, acting on conscience, she said, ‘Sorry, Mummy, but Aaron wasn’t a very nice man.’

  ‘Why, darling?’ asked Maddy, sitting up straight.

  ‘He used to swear at me when he was angry and sometimes he hurt me to make me go to my room. He did a Chinese burn on my arm and pulled my hair sometimes.’

  ‘Oh, darling, I’m so sorry,’ said Maddy, reaching out her arms.

  Rebecca went to her and while they hugged Andy looked on, feeling a strange mix of emotions. Anger at Maddy for letting this man into his daughter’s life. But also pity for her and what she was going through. And guilt for the part that he had played in leaving Maddy so vulnerable.

  Apart from all that, he felt strangely out of place, comforting his ex-wife because of the hurt her lover had caused. Eventually, he announced that it was time for him to get back home.

  ‘I’ll take Becky back with me until tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Are you sure you’ll be OK tonight?’ he asked for the third time.

  Maddy nodded meekly. ‘Yes, I need to be alone,’ she said. ‘And I agree that Becky will be best staying with you tonight.’

  ‘OK, well, you take care,’ he said. ‘And if you need me, just ring.’

  Then he turned to go. His last thought before he left was a desperate hope that both Maddy and Rebecca would come through this all right.

  53

  It was the following Friday evening and Andy was due to collect Rebecca for the weekend again. During the past few days Maddy had been coming to terms with Aaron’s deceit as well as learning to live without him. She felt tired, upset and ashamed of herself for falling for him.

  But apart from that she was still experiencing cocaine cravings, even though she hadn’t taken it on a daily basis, and they added to her anxiety and tiredness. In fact, Maddy felt so bad that she had to ask the doctor to prescribe her something to calm her down.

  Over the past few days she’d berated herself so many times for being foolish enough to succumb to Aaron’s charms. It was classic, textbook. Young, good-looking and seemingly successful man meets sad older woman and wins her over by showering her with praise and affection. How could she have been so stupid? She’d heard about these silly old women who’d been ripped off by their toy-boy lovers, and she’d always derided them for being daft enough to fall for it. And now, she was one of them!

  As Maddy was finding it difficult to concentrate on work she’d taken a couple of weeks off, but she was determined not to sit at home and mope so she had taken to gym visits and walks whenever she had the energy and they helped to lift her spirits.

  Despite how rough she had been feeling, Maddy had rung Clare to smooth things over. She felt that she at least owed her an apology after being so snappy with her when Clare had reacted negatively to news of her engagement. After all, Clare had only been looking out for her, and Maddy now realised how foolish she had been to assume that Clare had been jealous of her relationship with Aaron.

  Maddy felt embarrassed to have to admit that her friend had been right about Aaron all along, but Clare had been very understanding. She’d even tried to reassure Maddy with the cliché, ‘It can happen to anyone.’

  ‘Yes,’ Maddy had said sardonically. ‘Anyone who’s emotionally vulnerable and desperate to be loved.’

  Clare had responded sarcastically to Maddy’s self-pity. ‘Bloody hell, Maddy. I’ll be getting my violin out soon.’ It had broken the ice and helped to cheer Maddy up a bit.

  Just having Clare back in her life had helped Maddy too. It was good to know she was at the other end of the phone whenever she was feeling particularly down. Andy had also surprised her by how supportive he had been. In fact, Maddy didn’t know how she would have got through the past few days without him and she felt reassured knowing she had people round her who cared.

  When the doorbell rang at a quarter to seven, Maddy was busy taking the rubbish out. She was expecting Andy so she plonked the bag of rubbish down, quickly washed her hands and dashed to answer the door, forgetting that the back door was still unlocked.

  She was pleased that he was early; he’d probably done it intentionally so they could have a chat before he took Rebecca, she thought. So she went to answer the door with a smile on her face, looking forward to seeing him.

  She was startled to find Aaron standing in the doorway, and her smile disappeared. He looked different somehow, slightly dishevelled, and he wasn’t wearing the smart clothes she was used to seeing him in. Instead he sported a pair of tatty jeans and a hoody; just like he had worn when he had sat in his car outside her house for hours, intimidating her.

  He was clutching a bottle of wine, feigning normality, and before she had chance to speak, he stepped into the hall and held the wine out, offering it to her.

  ‘Hi, babe,’ he said, planting a kiss on her lips as he walked past her, and she felt herself tense.

  Her urge was to run, and to phone the police from a neighbour’s house, but she couldn’t. Rebecca was upstairs and she needed to protect her. So she took the wine and followed him inside, consumed by a feeling of sheer dread.

  ‘You been OK?’ he asked.

  Maddy was stumped. She hadn’t seen him in a week, a week in which her life had been wrecked, and all he could say was, ‘You been OK?’ Even if she hadn’t known about the attack on Crystal, his behaviour would have been out of the ordinary. He’d left her, distraught about the damage to her car, promising to return that evening. Since then she’d heard nothing from him, and he hadn’t even bothered replying to her calls or texts.

  She looked at him intently and immediately sensed a change in him from the last time she’d seen him. Was it because, in light of what she now knew, she saw him differently? No! It was something apart from that. She saw it in his eyes and in his manner too. Maddy recalled the words of the prostitute who had come to warn her, ‘He’s a bit crazy too. And now he’s lost it good and proper.’

  She could now see that, despite Aaron’s attempts to act normal, he wasn’t quite holding himself together. He was tense, jittery, and had a false bonhomie about him. It seemed to her that he had now stepped over a tenuous line between sanity and insanity. And that thought was terrifying.

  She made a quick decision. The best way to play this would be to go along with him. Pretend she hadn’t seen a difference in his personality, and wasn’t aware of the disturbed individual she was now dealing with.

  ‘I’m not too bad, thanks. Do you want me to get the glasses?’ she asked, holding up the wine and pretending to examine it.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, and he plonked himself down on the sofa while he waited for her.

  Maddy looked over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen, relieved that he hadn’t followed behind. She cursed the fact that there wasn’t a phone in this room so she could ring for help. Her only hope would be to continue playing along with him for now and hope she could come up with some way of enabling her and Rebecca to escape, or at least play for time until Andy arrived.

  While she grabbed the
glasses she tried to compose herself, taking a few deep breaths and attempting to relax her tense limbs. Then she pulled back her shoulders and pasted on a smile before returning to the living room.

  Aaron’s eyes followed her as she walked across the room, and she hoped he couldn’t see her knees trembling. His intense stare was unnerving, his smile odd. Where she would previously have regarded his expression as the passionate gaze of someone in love, she now saw his eyes as demonic and his smile as a wicked sneer.

  Maddy was nervous and agitated, the shock of her recent discovery reflected in her strained features and taut muscles, which she was trying desperately to disguise. She poured the wine into the first glass but couldn’t disguise her shaking hands, and the neck of the bottle clanged noisily against the rim.

  Her eyes shifted to Aaron, awaiting his reaction. She noticed his face had changed. The smile was gone. He looked grave, questioning.

  ‘You know, don’t you?’ he asked, his voice monortone, and Maddy felt a rush of fear.

  Still hoping to mask her feelings, she continued to pour the wine. Then she responded with a question, trying to sound light-hearted. ‘Know what?’

  ‘You know, about Crystal. I know you do,’ he said.

  She stared at him, dumbstruck, expecting him to lash out, but his reaction shocked her.

  ‘You know why I did it, don’t you, Maddy?’ he asked, his voice now childlike. ‘She was trying to spoil what we’ve got, wasn’t she, Maddy? She was jealous of us, just like your ex-husband. They’re all jealous of us, aren’t they, Maddy?’

  Maddy just stared at him, bewildered as well as alarmed by this strange new change in him. He continued, half protesting, half beseeching; like an affronted five-year-old.

  ‘We won’t let them spoil it for us, will we, Maddy? We love each other, don’t we, Maddy? Maddy?’ he cried, his tone now switching again to a desperate plea. ‘Please tell me you love me, Maddy. Tell me I didn’t do all that for nothing.’