IMMAGINARIO

by C. L. Monaghan

  “Chronicle the lives of humans…what the hell are you talking about?” Had I just walked into the bat shit crazy hotel or something?

  “Listen and you will begin to understand.” She spoke with such authority I had no choice but to shut up and listen. “We are a special guild of…people, who were chosen to fulfil very privileged roles. The position I hold as an author is one of great power and responsibility. I do not take my duties lightly, there are serious consequences to any authors who do not follow the rules.”

  “Duty bound by whom? And what guild? Are you talking about writing biographies or something?”

  “The universe.” She said simply.

  “The universe?” I couldn’t hide the scepticism in my voice. Crikey, this old bird was battier that I was!

  “Yes dear, the universe. You are aware of it I take it?” She quipped, raising an eyebrow. “And, I suppose you could say biographies are a speciality of sorts.” The corner of her mouth lifted slightly. The blonde librarian giggled and then shushed herself, clapping a hand over her mouth. “You have been on our radar for a while Naomi. We send out feelers and look for certain responses from our ‘people of interest’. You had what we were looking for and so we waited for you to come to us,” she paused and leaned forward, giving me an intense look, “and here you are.”

  “Okaaay.” I said, dragging the word out. “I’m really not getting what you’re trying to say here. You’re telling me that you’re duty bound by the universe to chronicle the lives of people on earth and that you somehow tested me and then brought me here on purpose?”

  “Mmm, it’s a little more in depth than that but that’s more or less it, yes.”

  “Dare I ask why?”

  “You were chosen to be one of us.”

  “And by that you mean…an author?”

  “Eventually perhaps, yes. It depends. You would begin as a librarian. Your lifelong fascination with books coupled with certain beliefs that you hold were what peaked our interest. We’ve been watching you for a very long time.” She paused, waiting for a response. I struggled to process what she was saying, it all sounded so far-fetched, like something you read about in a children's adventure book. It wasn’t for the unexplained appearance of Joe, I’d have thought she was joking. I knew it was all connected to my damned manuscript and to Laney but I had never expected something like this and now I held no doubt that she was telling the absolute truth. Now I understood how insane my explanations to Joe must’ve seemed and how much he must love me to have stuck around.

  “What do you mean by beliefs?”

  “I mean that you are very in tune with your environment Naomi. You notice things, the little day to day occurrences that other’s may pass off as mere coincidence, you understand them and you take note.”

  “Signs.” I muttered to myself.

  “Indeed. It takes a special type of person to do that. You are able to tap into the energy of the universe and interpret it. That is exactly what is needed to become an author.” I frowned, there were still things I needed explaining.

  “You said you tested me, what did you mean by that?”

  “Occasionally, when we are sure we have a person of interest, we test them. How we do that depends on each person but for you it was the manuscript I asked you to proofread. Words are extremely powerful things. They have the power to manipulate and influence in many ways. A true author also has that power and you have proved that you do.” A heavy, sinking feeling settled in my gut like a stone. Oh God no! The meaning behind her words suddenly hit me and I felt my already tenuous grip on reality begin to slip. She could not mean what I feared she did?

  “Joe was my test?” No sooner had I spoken than I knew I was right. Her sympathetic look hammered home the awful truth. “He really isn’t real?” My voice cracked, tears pricked the corner of my eyes. “No! That can’t be true!” I managed to squeak out a denial before a heart wrenching sob broke away from me. “Why? Why would you do that? That’s cruel!”

  “It’s necessary. I know exactly how you feel Naomi, I had to endure my own pain when I was chosen. The system is designed thus because you need to fully understand the power and responsibility you have as an author. Your job is to chronicle not create. You have the power to do both but you must not, under any circumstances, use your power to create. You have experienced first-hand how your words can change lives. You changed your own and you began to see the consequences. Words can have a ripple effect, they don’t just influence you, they influence the world around you. We needed you to understand the severity of what could happen if you were ever to use your position as an author to start meddling in people’s lives.”

  “What right did you have to do that?” I yelled, jumping out of my seat, fists balled and tears streaming down my cheeks. “This is my life! Joe’s life! What about him? What happens to him now?” Cold fear struck at my very core. “Fuck! Is he even still alive? He’s…he’s waiting for me to come back…isn’t he?”

  “Naomi, please try to calm down and listen. Everything will make sense when you understand.”

  “I don’t want to fucking understand! I want Joe! I love him. You have no right to take him from me!”

  “You love the idea of him. You did not love a physical being, because he was never real. He was words on a page, words that touched you, manipulated and influenced your feelings. You used your gift in unison with your words to manipulate things you don’t yet comprehend. It was meant to happen that way so you would begin to understand the level of power and responsibility you would hold as an author.”

  “Where. Is. Joe?” I demanded through gritted teeth. “I don’t give two fucks about your stupid test or being an author. Joe is mine. I will not let you take him.”

  “Joe is still here. He is waiting for you like you planned but you have a choice to make Naomi. The universe has chosen you and there is no way of changing that now. You don’t have to become an author.”

  “Good! Then I respectfully decline.” I interjected.

  “But, as with everything in the universe there has to remain a balance. Things have been changed and therefore you can either rectify it and agree to become part of the guild or you can choose to stay with Joe and your life together will continue.”

  “I choose the latter.” I didn’t even hesitate. There was nothing on earth or the bloody universe that would make me chose otherwise. Laney fell silent, contemplating me for a moment.

  “You can of course choose Joe but there are certain rules that must be followed.”

  “Like what?” I eyed her suspiciously. Why was there always a catch? Nothing was ever bloody simple.

  “If you choose to live your life with Joe he must choose this also. The moment you decide this he will become a true part of life on this plane. He will become real but it must be of his own choosing.”

  “Fine. I don’t see a problem with that.” As much as I tried to sound convinced, I wasn’t. How would Joe react knowing the actual truth?

  “If this is what you decide you must bring him to me so we can explain things to him fully.”

  “OK. What else?” Somehow I knew she wasn’t finished.

  “You’ve seen already how your life has changed as a result of Joe’s existence, it has upset the balance of things and balance will always fight to be restored. You tried to create a life of happiness with someone who was never meant to be. That has consequences…and will continue to have consequences throughout your life. No one ever has a perfect life Naomi, bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. That is just the way it is as always will be. That is life. What you have done is create a false reality. The ripples will travel through time and space and only multiply and grow in strength as time passes. You and Joe must be made fully aware of that fact. And you must both agree to accept these terms. However, should either one of you decide not to proceed then you will take up a position as a trainee and balance will be restored.”

  “And Joe?” I dared to as
k, knowing already what her answer would be but needing to confirm it.

  “Joe will be what he was before, a figment of your imagination, just words on a page. Until the next time.”

  “The next time?”

  “Yes,” she nodded and let her head drop, her gaze now resting on her knees, “the next time we decide to test someone.” Everything suddenly fell into place.

  “Oh my god! Melissa! That’s why he remembers Melissa isn’t it?”

  “He remembers her?” Laney’s head snapped up, she looked shocked.

  “Yes! It all makes sense now. Melissa was the name of another woman you tested wasn’t it? You just reused the manuscript?” Laney’s face was impossible to read. She sat stock still with her hands clasped tightly together. A tense silence filled the space between us and I caught a hint of pained sorrow in her eyes. Laney slowly unclasped her hands and reached for the librarian who stood by her side. Laney let out a slow shaky breath, her voice barely a whisper as she said,

  “I am Melissa.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Choices

  “What?” I wasn’t sure I had heard her correctly, “Did you just say,”

  “I am Melissa,” Laney interrupted, “yes.” She had regained some of her former decorum but I could sense she was still shaken underneath.

  “How is that possible? Did you write the book about yourself?” I felt my stomach curdle, fighting the need to retch in disgust I continued to probe her, “But you said that was forbidden! And now you’ve used him to trap me? How could you do that? That’s disgusting!” I glared at Laney with absolute disdain, the thought that she could use Joe, a man she created and probably loved at one time, to entrap someone else was abhorrent to me. I could never do something like that.

  “It’s not what you think Naomi.”

  “Well then how is it? Because from where I’m standing that’s exactly how it looks.” I shot her a challenging stare, demanding she explain herself. Admittedly a large part of the anger I felt towards her was born of jealousy, I had thought Joe was mine, my creation, mine to love. I had believed I was the only woman he had ever loved and yet now I found out he had been hers first. I swallowed the bile that arose in my throat. Laney let out a long, tired sigh. The Librarian patted her on the shoulder comfortingly and I wanted to slap her hand away. Laney Marsh deserved no such sympathy.

  “Remember I told you I had faced my own test before I was chosen to become an Author?”

  “Joe? Joe was your test too?” My fists were still balled and I dug my nails into my palms, trying desperately to detract from the pain in my heart. Laney nodded,

  “I was sent that very same manuscript over fifty years ago, it’s been altered a little since then to fit the time but the essence of it is the same.” She said rather sadly. A stunned silence fell between us as I tried to process what she was saying. All I could think about was that Laney had been in love with Joe, my Joe at some point in the distant past. She has kissed him, touched him and done lord knows what with him…and even more sickening was the realisation that Joe had reciprocated. I felt the floor move beneath me and the room sway, I was going to fall. Soft, steady hands caught me and guided me back to a sitting position in the large leather chesterfield. The Librarian now stood beside me, a look of genuine concern on her face.

  “He…he remembers you,” I said shakily, “he told me he remembers Melissa. Does that mean he still,” the next word stuck fast in my throat but I forced it out, “loves you?”

  “I doubt it very much, it’s just a ghost of a memory from the past, a past that’s not even real.” I detected a hint of uncertainty in her tone that set my teeth on edge.

  “Just how many times has that manuscript been used?” I said through tight lips.

  “I was the second I believe,” Laney replied, she coughed to clear her throat before continuing, “As the novel became more popular in society, it became easier to discover more potential candidates. There are people whose task it is to create ways of finding suitable candidates, one of those tasks, amongst many others, is writing manuscripts similar to this one to send out to,”

  “Lure people in!” I spat. “You’re playing with people’s lives here, do you know that? Do you care?”

  “It’s not our job to care Naomi, if we let ourselves care then we begin to take pity on the people whose lives we're trying to protect.”

  “Protect! That’s a fucking joke. How are you protecting the homeless man who dies alone on a street? Or the child that dies in a car accident?”

  “We can’t protect individuals per say, you must understand that there is a balance to maintain, everything happens for a reason just the way it is supposed to protect that balance. If we started to care we would be driven to change the fate of anyone we felt pity for and that has massive consequences Naomi. You’ve only seen a tiny glimpse of the effects that the ripples of change can cause. We had to do things this way because you needed to see, to understand how it must be. You cannot change fate, if you do then you must live with the consequences.” Laney sat stiff backed and had regained her composure somewhat, that air of authority was back and a look of carefully contrived calmness spread across her face. I wanted to punch her.

  “You turned him down didn’t you.” It was a statement not a question and I felt a twinge of gleeful gloating at the knowledge that I was right, I could see it in her eyes. Laney hadn’t loved Joe enough to make sacrifices, she’d chosen the life of an Author over him. Well I wasn’t going to make that mistake. That nagging little voice in the back of my mind attempted to remind me of the potential consequences of my choice, it tried to tell me I was being selfish but I ignored it…for now.

  “I did, yes. I understood the responsibilities I had been given and chose to do the right thing.” Sanctimonious bitch! Oh she really had got on her high horse with me now.

  “The right thing for who? For you? For Joe? Where does he fit into your perfect little plans?”

  “The right thing for the universe Naomi, balance must be restored and maintained at all costs. I have already told you, you can choose not to follow this path and stay with Joe but in doing so the universe will fight to regain control. Can you live with what might happen because of it?”

  “Yes. I can.” I jutted out my chin in stubborn protest. The universe could fight all it bloody well liked but I would fight back with every ounce of strength in my body to keep Joe by my side. If that’s what he wants. The knot of fear pulled at me again, what if he didn’t?

  “Very well then, if that is what you choose then bring Joe to me tomorrow and we shall see if he feels the same way. Those are the rules Naomi, you both must choose the same path. Like it or not you have been selected and only two choices lay before you now, I pray for everyone’s sake you choose well…as I once did.” Laney Marsh rose from her chair, nodded her head once in my direction and dismissed me, “Good day Mrs Ferrantino.” Her tone of dismissal wasn’t lost on me, I sensed a tinge of jealousy in the way she had spoken my name. There was no doubt in my mind that part of her stupid rule of having to bring Joe to her was merely so she could see him again.

  The Librarian shifted slightly, bringing my attention back to her.

  “We shall see you both tomorrow then?” She asked very politely.

  “Do I have any choice?”

  She smiled sympathetically at me and that gave me my answer. I walked toward the library’s exit and out into the hallway without waiting for the Librarian to escort me although I could hear her scurrying behind me. When we reached the front door she scooted in front to open it, I walked out without a backward glance, flinching as the heavy oak door shut hard in my wake. Now I had the hard task of convincing Joe to come and meet Laney. No, convincing him to meet her wasn’t the hard part, it was everything that followed.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Ashes to Ashes

  I’d been right, it had been easy to get Joe to agree to visit Laney. He’d seemed rather relived that I had asked him. He
said he’d been worried because I’d changed my mind and had gone to meet Laney alone. Poor Joe, I gave him a sideways glance as we stood on the stone steps of Laney’s manor. Joe couldn’t wait to meet her and put this whole thing to bed. Of course, he didn’t yet know the full story, he only knew my version, the one I had told him to get him to Scotland in the first place. He was in for a shock to say the very least. I’d decided to hold off on anymore of the details of how my own visit Laney had gone, let her be the bearer of bad news. As I stood beside him on the steps, I worried that I should’ve given him at least some of the truth but then he wouldn’t have believed it anyway. He hadn’t so far. Joe caught my gaze and smiled, taking my hand in his he gave it a reassuring squeeze. That small gesture said so much, ‘don’t worry love, this will all be over soon’. If only he knew. The door clicked and swung open, my heartbeat instantly increased. This was it, the moment of truth.

  Expecting to see the sweet, sickly smile and blue eyes of the Librarian, I was shocked to be greeted by none other than the lady of the manor herself, Laney Marsh. My hackles were up in a second. I wasn’t prepared for Joe to see his old love just yet, I had thought we might have at least a few minutes with the loyal assistant first.

  “Hello Joe.” Laney held out her hand for him, he hesitated and shook it then stopped suddenly, dropping her hand like he held a hot pebble.

  “Melissa?” He barely breathed out her name but it clearly affected Laney, she beamed at him. I scowled at her, secretly thankful of the fifty years that had aged her since they had last laid eyes on each other. “You’re so old.” Joe said in total wonderment. I couldn’t help it, a snort of laughter erupted from me and I tried to smother it with a cough. Laney’s mouth went to a thin line, the laugh had not escaped her. Joe regrouped and stuttered, “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…you look so different, so very different. How is this even possible?” He shook his head still staring at her in disbelief.