Graveyard Uprisings

by Jason Paul Rice

  “What’s the story?” I asked, genuinely intrigued.

  “She just up and vanished. We usually celebrate that kind of sorcery, but not this time.” He chuckled.

  He wasn’t exactly a comedian. I took a sip of my beverage. “Do you have any ideas of where she might have gone? Family? Relatives?”

  “We’re monitoring all the normal areas. We need someone to start looking in different spots.”

  “I could try, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

  He tapped the rim of his drink. “I assumed you were a detective from the number I called. Your business card certainly implies that you know the craft. You simply need to open a case, ask questions, but do so in a private manner. We don’t need the wrong ears finding out about this.”

  “I guess I could give it a try if I get some time.”

  His face brightened. “That’s the spirit. Let’s get one thing straight from the start though. Don’t you lie to us or ever try to screw us over.” He flashed a toothy smile and two normal incisors grew into fangs, nearly making me soil my pants.

  I tried to refocus my mind and bring my magic back to the surface in case I needed it to fight my way out of this house.

  He continued, “You bring her back to this house, you hear. This house only. Don’t even think about returning her to another clan. If they offer you more money I will match anything. Do you understand?”

  Jonathan was scaring the shit out of me, so I thought it was a good time to return the favor. “I understand and would never do that. It’s not in my best interest to start a supernatural war in Pittsburgh. That would be no fun for me.”

  He nodded. “Perfect, then we understand each other.”

  “We do, but just make sure you understand that if anything happens to me, the cops are going to know it was the vampires. And just so you know, they’ve been building up quite an arsenal to go to battle with the vamps.”

  He laughed. “They can bring all the silver bullets they like. UV lights too.”

  Damnit. He had a good point. “They’ve actually taken a step back technologically and now they are making cross-bows that shoot stakes and holy crosses at amazing speeds. They also have super-soaker type weaponry that shoots boiling holy water.” That sounded kind of stupid, but his squinting eyes told me that it was a legitimate threat. “I don’t want you to go under heavy scrutiny the same way that you don’t. But if something happens to me, you can rest assured that the cops are going to turn up the heat.”

  “I rather like you,” he said, and rubbed the silver spots on his goatee. “You know how to handle yourself. I mean, you are in a den of vampires who could kill you with great ease, and you still hurl threats at me.” He picked up his mysterious drink, swirled it around, and took a swig.

  “These aren’t threats unless you take action against me. After that, they’re promises. I’m going to look for the girl, but only for the money.”

  He almost choked on his drink and put it back down on the desk. Smiling, he said, “Yes, I suspect that. I’m not getting the warm feeling of a budding friendship developing here, which is rather sad. Look around you. You can have even nicer things if you wish it to be. Eternal life. Material goods. Gunshot wounds that heal within hours. And you’ve only seen two of our girls. So you can get it out of your head that I’m trying to hurt you. I’m trying to help you, kid. Would you like to be an immortal?”

  I hadn’t expected to end the night by being recruited to be a vampire. “I appreciate the offer and I will mull it over while I look for someone who doesn’t exist.” I winked at Jonathan and immediately felt sleazy.

  “Smart young man, Micheal. This could be the beginning of a great business relationship. Bring the girl back, and fifty grand in cash will leave with you.”

  His office was one hell of an advertisement for working together and I knew fifty thousand dollars meant nothing to him. “I could always take Guernica and we could call it even.”

  He shook his head rapidly, hair swinging from side to side. “Sorry, but I don’t pay forty-one million dollars for a painting to give it away to someone who gives me a hard time.”

  I almost soiled my pants again. “You paid that much for it and you leave it in this little office?”

  “I spend most of my time in this little office. Being an antiques dealer has rewarded me with some great treasures and I prefer to look at them as much as I can.”

  That actually made perfect sense. I thought about my little rinky dink office and hoped to someday upgrade to Jonathan level. I left the vamp mansion and opened the window to let some air in.

  My heart was still in overdrive from the meeting with Jonathan. That was the most intense meeting I’ve ever been involved in. My head buzzed as I picked up some speed and the cool breeze came in through the window. My mind raced from being within an arm’s reach of one of my favorite paintings.

  I didn’t have high hopes that I would be able to find the girl considering the amount of money involved. After second thought, that amount was nothing to Jonathan. Maybe I could find her. From the picture, I couldn’t believe she would be hard to detain.

  But I couldn’t toss a young girl to a bunch of vamps, could I? I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. Jonathan’s material goods and high money offer were clouding my better judgment. Perhaps that was his plan?

  Feeling awake from the drive, I decided I couldn’t aid in the murder and would tell Jonathan that I couldn’t find her.

  That would be best for all involved. I got out of the car, mentally wishing the young vampire the best of luck in avoiding Jonathan.

  I walked up to my front door and sensed something inside. It didn’t feel like magic and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it as I peeked in the window. When I heard Colossus whimpering, I busted into my house.

  The big search was over before it started. Easiest fifty grand ever.

  Carolyn Albertross stood in my living room with a travel bag over her shoulder. Or at least a spitting image of the vamp in the picture was in front of me. She said, “I need to talk to you.”

  5

  No introductions were necessary. “I normally take appointments at my office, but I already know this is important. You know how much trouble you’re in?”

  She pulled the lip rings inside her mouth. “That’s why I need you to keep me safe.”

  “Me? How am I supposed to keep you safe?”

  “Because you are a wizard. Duh.”

  I can’t fall for flattery. “Young, inexperienced wizard. If you think I can defeat entire clans of vamps, you’ve got the wrong person. That’s not even mentioning the After Midnight Council”

  “The council won’t send anyone. Jonathan wouldn’t risk the exposure and he won’t even tell any of the other clans. Everything is supposed to be handled in-house.”

  I got down to business. “Why did you run?”

  “They were going to kill me.”

  That was a pretty good reason. “Why were they going to kill you?”

  I gestured for her to sit down on the couch and I joined her. We turned toward each other, and she said, “For a misunderstanding. They think I killed someone, but I didn’t. I went into his room and he was already dead. When I told Jonathan about it, he accused me of murdering the man. I knew where it was headed from there.”

  “So this is all one big misunderstanding? It just so happens that I was just talking to Jonathan. Do you want me to talk to him about this? Maybe try to broker a deal?”

  She laughed at me. “Jonathan’s the elder. There’s no vote or anything. It’s what he says and that’s that.”

  “That doesn’t seem like a very democratic system.”

  “I’d like to see you argue with a six-hundred-year-old vampire.”

  “I was arguing with him earlier tonight. Do you really think that I can keep you safe? Furthermore, why would I want to put a bullseye on my back?”

  “Because I’ll pay you handsomely.” She kicked the shoulder bag on the ground. />
  “I’m not sure you’d be able to match Jonathan’s offer.” I wasn’t sure if she would take that comment as a threat. I noticed the small vampire didn’t have any fear of me, the supposedly dangerous wizard.

  “There’s one-hundred-twenty thousand dollars in this bag. You get me to the airport in one week, and half the money is yours. I know it’s probably not as much as Jonathan, but I figured you were a good wizard looking to do the right thing and help someone in need. A white hat.”

  I had trouble focusing on her words after she announced the dollar amount. That’s uh, that’s a lot of cheese right there. “The problem is it’s one vampire’s word against the other. If I find out you committed a crime, I have a duty to bring you to justice. I wouldn’t be able to protect someone like that.”

  “Unless someone can be convicted for walking into a room, I’m innocent, but you don’t understand how it works. Everyone will take Jonathan’s side. If he tells them to kill me, they’ll follow the orders. No questions.” Her dark eyes flashed with fear.

  How could I get out of this? “That doesn’t make protecting you seem very attractive if he’s going to be sending a hit squad after you. Tell you what, I’ll drive you out to the airport right now and you can be out of the city. We split the money and you are safe.”

  She huffed. “That’s the stupidest idea ever. Jonathan will have people at the airport for about a week. We leave in one week. By then, he’ll pull his watchers out. One week, sixty thousand dollars. What’s it going to be?”

  I looked around my humble apartment and thought about my office. Then, my mind shifted to thoughts of a vampire sucking the blood from my neck. “We’re going to have to get you a disguise.” I needed the money and saving someone’s life was a noble cause I could get behind.

  “I can shapeshift, but I can’t blend in very well as a raven or were-bitch. I can do this, though.”

  She closed her eyes and her pale skin started to darken until it settled on a deep brown and her hair turned black. Her features looked the same, but it did present a different look.

  “That will help a little. People that know you will still recognize you. So let’s hope we don’t run into any of them.” I hadn’t realized I had already accepted the offer without really thinking about it carefully.

  She reverted to her original skin tone. “So what did Jonathan tell you about me?”

  “Very little, if almost nothing. And now you’re telling me next to nothing.”

  Her voice grew stronger, “I’m telling you the truth. Why would I kill an elder vamp? It’d be like driving a stake through my own heart. I’m a lot of things, and I won’t deny most of them, but I’m not stupid or the killer in this case.”

  I would have felt more comfortable had she said that she had never murdered before. “You do realize that staying with me puts you in great danger with the vamps. There’s no way I can promise to keep you safe.”

  She shrugged her narrow shoulders. “I know there isn’t a guarantee for anything in life. But what you don’t realize is that they aren’t going to be following you unless Jonathan thinks you are lying to him. He has hundreds of people looking for me, including you. Jonathan won’t have anyone following you because it would take away from the people looking for me, so it’s the perfect cover.”

  Why did she have to make so much sense? “I assumed he would send someone to check up on me at some point. His office indicated that he had endless resources.”

  She explained, “He has a lot of money, but there are only so many people you can pay to hunt down a vampire. Paranormal bounty hunters getting wind of this. That’s who we need to be careful of. The clan will leave you alone because they think you are helping them.”

  “Do you just want to hide out in my house for about a week?”

  “No. I need to remain close to you in case any physical altercations break out. I know you can handle your own in these situations.”

  I still hadn’t officially accepted her request, had I? But the money sure would be nice. “I think we need to talk about the best ways to kill a vampire so I can defend you, if we decide to go that route.”

  “I can tell you everything I know.”

  I needed to forget about the money and worry about my own life. “I really hate to do this, but it would probably be best if I passed on this offer. This will just end up getting me killed.”

  A thunderous crash from outside caused me to jump up from the couch. I ran over to the door.

  “Not my car,” I yelled, as I ripped the door open and bolted out.

  The streetlights illuminated what appeared to be a stone man. The concrete soldier mashed his hands together and clubbed the side of the hood, denting a crater.

  I screamed, “Ho, what is going on here?”

  The man appeared to be wearing a suit under the stone as he stared at me. He moved around my front bumper with heavy, lumbering steps, cracking the concrete below. The man approached me with his head lowered. I brought my magic out of the reservoir and readied for action, not sure what to throw at him.

  I checked left and right. People were coming out on the sidewalk to see what was going on. I couldn’t get out of control and let loose with anything I wanted. I manipulated the air around him to put him in a lock bubble.

  The stone man pushed against the invisible bubble, confused.

  I smiled at my quick thinking, but before I could break my arm patting myself on the back, the stone man curled his fingers into a fist and smashed through my bubble. How did that just happen?

  I hadn’t sensed any magic coming from the stone man, who surprised me with two quick steps and a thundering punch to the chest, knocking me back on my ass. Gasping for air, I scrambled to my knees.

  I looked up for the stone man at the same time his foot connected with my ribcage, forcing all the air out of my lungs again. Falling flat on my face, he kicked me in the side again causing me to flip onto my back as I writhed around on the sidewalk right outside my house.

  Breathing became labored as the stone man drove his knee into my chest. He had my left arm trapped under his knee and he held my other arm at bay as he prepared to smash my face into oblivion.

  I couldn’t do anything but watch as his fist cocked back behind his ear and started to descend on my face. My life. Waiting for the crunching symphony of orbital bones, I could hear my dog barking from inside as he sensed that I was in danger.

  Suddenly, a flash of purple fingernails that would rival Wolverine’s claws lit up in the strong moonlight and sliced through the stone man’s head. Four pieces of the man’s head fell, two landed on me and the other two on the sidewalk.

  The man had about an inch of stone coating over his entire body. The inside looked like an undead zombie that had been rotting away for years. The dominant scent of putrefaction released into the cold winter night. This must be our graveyard riser. He should have been a skeleton, right?

  I looked up at my savior, chest still rattling from the near-death experience. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, but this makes me rethink my choice for protection.” Carolyn looked around nervously and ran back into the house.

  I checked around for witnesses. Most people had run back inside after the fight broke out so I drew in as much heat as I could. I let the fire build in my chest and started forming a vaporous cloud of heat. I released the invisible fire onto the stone man and it instantly dissolved the stone, the body inside and part of my sidewalk.

  Police sirens blared from down the street. I hustled inside to grab my dog and tell Carolyn to hide. Colossus didn’t like fireworks or loud noises such as sirens, so I held the precious pup to keep him calm. The little, brown cocker spaniel was growing by the day.

  The cops asked a bunch of questions, but I knew the routine by now. Start talking about demons or demonic spirits and the cops instantly lose interest and think you are crazy even though they know deep down in their hearts that it is true.

  I wondered if ‘Stone Man Des
truction’ was covered in my insurance policy as I stared at my heavily damaged, but still drivable car. If she started, that was. The police finished up and went on their way as I returned to my apartment. I walked in and did not expect to see Carolyn lounging on the couch with her feet up on my coffee table.

  6

  I assumed she would be hiding in one of my closets. “Thanks again, but now that you see I’m not some mighty wizard, you may want to re-think your plan.”

  “No, I think we might make a good team.”

  So much for that. “I’m sorry, good team?”

  “Temporary team, don’t worry. One week. Lots of cash.”

  Knowing she could handle herself in a life-or-death situation made me think I may have been a little hasty in my decision making. “Yeah, I’d like to look over those bills if you don’t mind. Not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t trust anyone. I’m starving too. You hungry?”

  Carolyn kicked the bag of money toward me, and it appeared realer than real.

  She smirked, looking at Colossus. I pulled my dog closer. “I wasn’t thinking. Is it true that you get all your nutrition from human blood?”

  “Human or animal works.”

  I petted my dog’s head, letting him know I would protect him. “Speaking of works. Not to pry too much, but how does that work?”

  “Normally, Jonathan buys it from the blood banks. The best is fresh from the source, so sometimes we use animals too.”

  Interesting. “You sacrifice animals to get fresh blood?”

  “Sometimes, but we use wild animals so we aren’t doing anything wrong.”

  “And you just like, lust for that stuff, huh?”

  She smirked at me. She was a cute girl with a dainty face, who had just shredded through a stone man like it was nothing. Quite the dichotomy. She explained, “It’s a trait that none of us can stop. Once you get that first drop, you’re hooked. It’s almost like a weakness that you can’t control. A drug of sorts.”