Graveyard Uprisings

by Jason Paul Rice

  A crunching sound filled my ears, followed by an ominous hissing. The car suddenly tilted to the side. You’ve got to be kidding me. We got out of the car and found that the front passenger’s side tire was flat. I opened the trunk and felt a palpable release of energy from the boxes.

  I reached into the back for my T-bar lug wrench. The original that had come with the car was a piece of crap so I had to buy a good one for instances like this. I stacked the boxes, put them aside and peeled the floor covering back to check the spare. Full of air.

  I took the first two lug nuts off easily and positioned the T-bar for the next one. I started turning the wrench when it suddenly came loose and smacked me in the nose. I couldn’t believe this recent bout of bad events.

  I stood up, and Carolyn had her sunglasses off with an intent look like she wanted to eat me. Oh yeah, she kind of did.

  “Do you mind?” she asked, shrugging her shoulders.

  “Go ahead.” I leaned my head back and Carolyn started lapping up blood off my upper lip. Okay, for those who haven’t had the chance, a vampire licking blood from your upper lip is quite pleasing despite the fact that my exposed neck sat so close to her razor-sharp teeth. Her lip rings were cold as they touched the side of my mouth.

  She kept going until the well ran dry. I was happy we were in the driveway of a private residence and nobody could see this odd activity.

  I got the tire off and went to grab the spare. I pulled back the covering and picked up the spare tire. The flat spare tire.

  What the what? I’d just checked that tire no more than five minutes ago.

  To add insult to injury, Carolyn said, “You probably should have checked that first.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled through my nose. “I did when I got the wrench out. I literally squeezed it and got barely any resistance.”

  She smirked, playing with her gigantic sunglasses. “Literally. As opposed to figuratively squeezing it.”

  I literally hated it when people overused that word too, but now wasn’t the time for jokes. “You are no help at all, by the way.”

  “Oh yeah, do you have AAA?”

  I couldn’t afford it right now. “No, I don’t have AAA.”

  She reached into her pocket and pulled out a petite black wallet. “Help is on the way,” she said, as she plucked the AAA card out of its slot.

  A vampire carrying a AAA card, huh? That was stranger than her drinking blood. “Is that safe? Will the vamps be able to detect that somehow?”

  “I already got rid of my phone so you’re going to call. I don’t think they have anyone in the know at AAA. I’m pretty positive of it. I’m not scared if you aren’t.”

  Why did I feel that I was going to regret this? “Give me the card.”

  I called the number and talked to a lovely woman.

  I turned to Carolyn. “They said it would be an hour or a little more.” I checked the time. 2:41 p.m.

  That meant I wouldn’t get to the auto shop before it closed. My plan to get a new tire, run home, get cleaned up, and get to the restaurant to meet Satoku was falling apart quickly.

  “So the woman said that the driver will let us ride with him when he tows the car to the shop on Freeport Road. For now, we just have to wait.”

  “You know what’s going on, right?”

  I tilted my head to the side, hoping that some of the useless thoughts clogging my mind would spill out of my ear. No dice. “I’m guessing you do?”

  “Of course. We are a very perceptive, us vampires. It’s the Dybbuk boxes, you fool.”

  “I knew that.” I hadn’t. “How often do you think I smack myself in the nose?”

  “Do you really want me to answer that?” She laughed, and we sat on the hood of the car.

  “I’m going to call Jonathan so he can find out the background on these boxes. I trust you’ll stay quiet.”

  I went through my phone list and found the J section. There he was. I pressed send and put the phone to my ear.

  Jonathan answered on the fourth ring. “Micheal Merlino, tell me you have some good news for me.”

  “Yes and no. I have something unrelated to what we talked about last night. I stumbled upon some Dybbuk boxes and wanted to know if you could take a peek at them. Maybe find out some background and get an appraisal on them.” Who said I didn’t have any business sense? Oh, right, everybody.

  He said, “I could definitely check them out for you. Stop by late tonight, around two. Tomorrow actually.”

  “I understand. I’ll see you later on tonight. You know what I mean.”

  He laughed and hung up the phone without a good bye. I exhaled, expelling all the nervousness. The entire conversation had me on edge. Lying to a six-hundred-year-old vampire was slightly nerve racking. “He told me to say hi,” I joked.

  “Says the guy who smacked himself in the face with a T-bar,” she jabbed back.

  Well played. “I guess you’re right,” I conceded.

  “Where’s your fight? Your wit? You could have easily said, ‘yeah but I’m the same guy who vaporized that stone man last night.’”

  That would have been an excellent line. “My mind is scrambled right now. Between this explosion here, my father escaping from jail, the graveyard uprisings, being the red meat filling of a vampire sandwich, and my girlfriend possibly leaving me for another guy, my head’s a tad bit scattered. Sorry.”

  She pulled down the sunglasses. “Holy shit. Did it feel good to get all that out?”

  “Little bit, yeah. And now, I might be late to dinner with her and wonder boy. Things are slipping out of my control and I don’t like it.”

  “Oh shit,” screamed Carolyn, as she jumped up off the hood. “I hope you’re ready to die, motherfuckers.”

  9

  Her Wolverine nails extended from her fingertips and she raised her upper lip, showing off her fangs as two older men in white suits approached. I summoned my magical ability and brought it to the surface. I started concentrating heat in my chest and tightening a pocket of air in front of me.

  “Do you know these guys?” I couldn’t imagine how they had discovered her despite her pigmentation alteration.

  She answered, “They know me, but they’re not exactly my friends.”

  “Fellow vamps?”

  She thought for a second, before she said, “Sort of. They’re demons. Undead demons.”

  Perfect. I couldn’t get in trouble with the Celtic Gods for killing undead demons. I kept forming my super-heavy pocket of air and started to inject some heat into it. The two demons kept charging faster than horses. I waited for the perfect moment and released the invisible, fiery pocket of air and sent it hurtling toward them.

  One demon slid under the pocket and the other dove over it and rolled over in a front somersault. Deft moves. I pounced on the demon on the ground and punched his waxy face twice. The creature’s neck felt like plastic as I choked it with all my might.

  A thundering kick in my shoulder rocked me onto my side. One of the demons lunged for Carolyn, who ducked, and used an uppercut, swiping her deadly fingernails up the demon’s belly and chest. Carolyn giggled as burgundy blood sprayed from the wound, showering her face. She licked some from her lips and smiled. Backing away, she did a three-sixty, confusing her opponent, and slashed across the demon’s chest, creating another multi-stream waterfall before the man fell flat on his face.

  I’d made it back to my feet, and I took a swing at the incredibly fast demon. He ducked and hopped four feet to the left. Bouncing back and forth in a crouched position, the demon was ready to pounce at any moment. I twisted some air into another hot pocket and waited.

  The demon said, “Carolyn. Come with me now and save your proud family and yourself an eternity of shame. It’s the only sensible way.”

  She spat on the ground. “Come with you so you can kill me. I don’t think so. Nice try though.”

  I was confused. She had said these guys were demons, but it sure sounded like a fellow
vamp from her clan. “What the hell is going on here? I can’t just go around killing people. I’m held to a higher standard.”

  She stared at me with fire in her eyes. “If he escapes and tells Jonathan about this, you’re going to be impaled, so don’t let him get away.”

  The man turned and ran. He darted off in an uneven zig-zag pattern, never staying on a straight path. I ran back and forth, stretching out the pocket to counteract his rapid movements, and manipulated the heavy air as wide as I could, making it the length of a full-sized car. Then, I added the fire.

  I waited for the perfect moment and released the heated pocket of air. The vamp darted to his left, and one more step would have put him outside the range of my hot pocket. If I missed, he would easily get away. I leaned to the side, trying to move the heated burst to the left.

  Suddenly, the wide pocket blasted him from behind. A furious howl filled the air as the man was launched through the air, spinning and twisting, eventually landing on his face.

  We ran toward the vamp and Carolyn raced past me as if she was an Olympic champion. The man scrambled to his feet as she closed in. Carolyn dove through the air, arms and fingernails extended in front of her.

  I saw it in slow motion as her lethal nails disappeared into the man’s chest. She drove them in, up to the fingertips, and I imagined that they came out the vampire’s back. Both the combatants crumpled to the ground, but only Carolyn sprang back to her feet.

  I screamed as I ran, “You can’t be lying to me if you want me to help you. And I guess the vampires do know people at AAA considering they showed up before them.” I was breathless from the short run. I didn’t do much cardiovascular.

  Her nails retracted back to their original size. “I told you what you needed to hear so that we wouldn’t die. Why wouldn’t you be allowed to kill a vampire? Aren’t they considered evil in your little wizard school or whatever?”

  I narrowed my eyes, and shook my head in disgust. “Don’t do that. This isn’t Harry Potter or something like that. This shit is real and you know it. I’m pretty much a lone wolf wizard. No pack for me. And to answer your question, no, not all vampires have been deemed to be demonic. I fully expect to be questioned by the Gods on this one.”

  I started throwing up. It was a side-effect of the magic to keep me in check.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I can’t kill innocent people. I get sick if I do. If these guys were good people, I could get sick and die. It’s so I can’t just run around killing everyone and the Gods will know if I’m lying.” I explained.

  “You shouldn’t be sick for too long then. Let’s just say, these two have a few bodies on their records. They were rotten vampires, which is saying a lot. Seems like a stupid rule.”

  I stopped vomiting, and stood back up, slightly off balance. “I don’t make the rules, the Gods do. I just follow them.”

  “Would they rather have you get killed? Those guys weren’t going to kill me because they needed to save me for Jonathan to inflict the punishment, but they were going to kill you. It was self-defense. Look away.” She kneeled over the body.

  “Why?” Oh, because you are biting into his neck and sucking out his blood. Got it. My stomach had just returned to normal, and the slurping sounds made me want to throw up. I skedaddled over to the other body with my hands covering my ears.

  Carolyn yelled, “I need you to burn the bodies.” She put her hand over her mouth, realizing she shouldn’t have said it that loud.

  Roy and Rebecca were nowhere to be seen and I would hear their car long before they could see us.

  “Don’t you need to drive a wooden stake through his heart? I thought they just dissolved after that?”

  She tossed her head back and forth, wiping blood from her chin. “You can do that or just incinerate them into nothing. They aren’t dead yet, but they are wounded badly. Both methods work, but torching him should be easier since there aren’t any stakes that could do the job around here. Do it well or they will come back in a few years and they will be mighty pissed off at us.” She left me with one body and went to drink from the other dead vampire.

  I burnt the first body into oblivion (hopefully) using the same technique that I had on the stone man. Then I focused on Carolyn and the body she was feeding on. I walked over, conjuring up more liquid fire to take care of the other body. Carolyn popped up from her meal.

  “Back up.” I gestured with both hands.

  Carolyn took a few steps back, wiping the blood from her lips. When she got to a safe distance, I projected the invisible fire onto the body, charring it instantly, and melting the snow and singeing the earth below in the process.

  The AAA driver pulled into the driveway and I checked my watch again. 3:30.

  “Turn your shirt inside out. It’s got too much blood on it,” I advised Carolyn.

  That barely left enough time to get to the auto shop before it closed, but there was still a chance. The rookie tow-truck driver had problems getting my car on the rack and we barely made it to the auto body shop before four o’clock. I had to wait over an hour, but they honored the fact that I arrived before they closed. They slapped a new tire on it and I raced back to my house with Carolyn.

  I unloaded the Dybbuk boxes and hid them in the attic. I texted Satoku to let her know that I was going to be late as I hastily cleaned myself up. My nose looked a bit off center from the T-bar and felt tender as I applied some moisturizer to my face.

  As I went to leave, Colossus scurried up to me and scraped his body along my calf. I was torn. I didn’t want to leave my little buddy in the clutches of a vampire, but she just had a huge feeding. I couldn’t take him with me, and hoped that Carolyn would catch up on some sleep while I was gone. Besides, she just had an enormous meal.

  I leaned down and petted his neck a couple of times. “Don’t worry, buddy. She’s not going to hurt you.”

  Rushing out the door, I cruised down the street to the restaurant. I put the window down and despite the blast of winter wind in my face, my body was still overheating. My stomach still churned from the vampire murders earlier. What if they send five next time? Do they know who I am?

  I shifted mental gears and wondered if the spirits from the Dybbuk Boxes had anything to do with these uprisings. I knew it had to be a powerful necromancer and an ancient demonic spirit seemed like a logical match.

  Could the spirits from those dozen boxes cause this much trouble? I had to figure out the backstory on the boxes, but the vampire attack garnered more attention considering it was a direct threat to my life. With dinner minutes away, I thought about how to use it to my advantage.

  I decided to play the game and be nice to Felix so I could glean some information out of him. It would also make Satoku happy, in turn, making me happy. I prepared my fake smile and tried to produce some artificial excitement as I pulled into the parking lot. This would be difficult.

  10

  My leather jacket was making me sweat, so I unzipped it, got out of my car, threw the coat on the driver’s seat and went inside the restaurant.

  I saw my dinner guests in a booth. Both sitting on the same side. I slid onto the bench seat across from them. “Sorry I’m late. It turned out to be a crazy job today. You look wonderful, by the way.” I stared at Satoku’s green eyes.

  “Thanks. Been working out,” Felix said, and chuckled.

  I tightened my hand into a fist, and Satoku said, “Thank you. I know you guys know each other, but…”

  Felix cut her off, “Of course, I know Mike the wizard. Everybody knows this guy.” He extended a tiny hand that I grabbed and squeezed as I smiled.

  He had a decent grip for a little guy. I stated unenthusiastically, “And everyone knows about the mage named Felix. Do you think it’s necessary to bring your wand to dinner?”

  He pushed his lips out and nodded. “You never know what could happen in this city. I don’t have to tell you, right? I mean, when those demons came after me, I was gl
ad to have it then.”

  I threw some rain on his parade as I casually perused the menu. “You mean the insects.”

  He tapped his wand on the seat and glared at me. “Yes, the insect demons that were almost as big as me.”

  “That’s not really saying much,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “What?” he asked, eyes narrowing in anger.

  “Oh nothing.” I shook my head.

  Many others in the magic circle of Pittsburgh were impressed with Felix’s battle against a bunch of supposed demon hunters in the form of beetles or cockroaches or something. I wasn’t impressed in the least. The only eyewitnesses had been his friends, but I didn’t trust them to tell the truth. I knew one thing, I had always sensed a strong level of magic in the mage.

  Our server approached the table, introduced herself and asked me if I needed a beverage. I ordered a Coca Cola on the rocks. We all ordered our meals and handed her our menus.

  As soon as the woman left, Satoku must’ve sensed the tension between us, and stepped in like a boxing referee. “You two be nice. What was your job about today, Mike?”

  I opened my mouth to speak and realized that I couldn’t discuss it with Felix around. I didn’t need him blabbing to his mage friends about the case. “It actually turned out to probably be nothing. It was after I talked to the couple and was leaving their house that I got a flat tire and the craziness started.”

  She questioned me, “What craziness? And did something happen to your nose?”

  I nodded, embarrassed. “I guess it isn’t as crazy now that I think about it, but I was changing the tire and smacked myself in the nose with the T-bar.”

  Felix burst out in laughter, causing other patrons to look over.

  I stared at him, waiting for him to finish before I continued, “And then the spare ended up being flat and AAA took forever to get there. So I had to run around to get a new tire and everything.”

  The mage slammed his glass of Dr. Pepper on the table. “Cool story, bro. Hey Satoku, watch this. See that server over there taking an order.” He pointed to a table in the middle of the dining room.