Graveyard Uprisings

by Jason Paul Rice

Even with the question being rhetorical in nature, I figured I should give him confirmation. “You do have a point. If they were all vampires, nobody should have an advantage.”

  “Yes, I know. I fear somebody is accompanying her. A creature of the day,” he said, grabbed his glass from the desk, and took a big swig of his mysterious red drink that I’d never asked about. I had a pretty good idea it was blood and didn’t want him to confirm it. He stared at me through his narrow, probing eyes and I shifted around in my comfortable chair.

  Believe the lie. Believe the lie. Believe the lie. “Now there is an area I might be able to help you out in. Do you have any idea who she might be with?” I thought about throwing Felix under the bus so Jonathan could shred him and my girlfriend problems would be over.

  The elder thought about it for a few moments, likely debating how much information he should share with me. “Considering I am only speculating that she is with someone, I couldn’t possibly know who it is. I’m using common sense. She couldn’t defeat a tandem of older vampires without help.”

  I wanted to end this part of the conversation immediately if not sooner. “At least that gives me something to go on. I’ll start asking around to see if we can figure out who this day creature is.”

  He set his drink back on the table, nodding. “I do appreciate the effort. I have to admit though, I did expect a little more effort on your part for the huge payday.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “The payday is great, but I have to think about wasted resources. I could run all over the city and commonwealth looking for someone who doesn’t want to be found but it wouldn’t do any good. I’ve put some feelers out just yesterday, so the seeds need time to germinate. Have you entertained the possibility that the two vampires might be in cahoots with Carolyn?”

  He licked his lips. “You are a sharp young man. Did you entertain my idea of joining our clan? Remember the perks I mentioned?”

  “I do. It’s a generous offer, but I’m happy where I am at for now.” I didn’t press him with my cahoots question a second time. I assumed he didn’t want to believe that they would betray an elder vamp.

  “Think about it. We can offer you perks the Celtic Gods can’t even give you.” He smiled, exposing his fangs as an advertisement. “We might seem dark, but we don’t use dark magic. The Red Cavern has tried to recruit some of our clan before and been roundly rejected. You and I. We are together on our mission of life. We just take different paths. Different rules.”

  And yet you are asking me to bring you a girl so that you can murder her.

  Jonathan screamed, spittle shooting out both corners of his mouth, “She’s a murderer in the first place. We will have our justice, yes justice, before the authorities. With or without your help.” He crushed the thick glass in his right hand and swept the mess off his desk with his left.

  Holy shit. He can read minds when he wants to. I need to be ultra-careful. “Looks like it’s time for me to hit the old dusty trail.” I slammed the rest of my drink. “Thanks again for the hospitality and I trust you will give me a call about the boxes.”

  “Indeed I will. That anger was not directed at you, by the way. This is a frustrating entanglement that needs straightened out.” He got up and followed me toward his door.

  I hurried so that he wouldn’t touch me and try to sap away some of my magic. Crafty vampire. I tried to hatch an icy shell around my body to ward off any advances. I opened the door and his hand met the middle of my back with a firm slap.

  He held his hand there and I rushed out the opening and speed-walked toward the front entrance. The valet acknowledged me with a nod, grabbed my keys from the box on the wall, and ran out the front door.

  Jonathan called from in front of his office, “Don’t forget your pleasantries. Enjoy your night.”

  I stopped and turned around. “Sorry. Good night, Jonathan.” I’d been in such a rush to get away from him that I had forgotten to say goodbye. I scurried out the front door, fished around in my back pockets for a tip, and found two dollars. Better than nothing.

  I curled it up in my hand so the valet couldn’t see it and hoped the dark of night would provide enough of a cloak for me to escape before he found out how cheap I was. I shook his hand with the money in it and it fell straight to the ground. So much for that plan.

  The valet crouched down, picked up the George Washington twins, searched around for more, stood up, gave me a dirty look, and took off for the front door. I rolled down the long driveway and headed out into the foggy Pittsburgh night.

  I woke up to Colossus licking my face and my phone buzzing on the windowsill near my bed. I leaned over and grabbed the phone right before it slid off the edge. Incoming call from Gretchen. This couldn’t be good.

  12

  “Hello.”

  “Merlino. You ready for your early morning news feed?”

  I yawned. “I guess. What’s going on?”

  “More of the same and it’s getting worse. We had more uprisings today in several cemeteries around Pittsburgh. On top of that, the watchman from the first uprising was apparently murdered in his house last night.”

  “Shit. I guess it is getting bad.” I petted my dog behind his ears, his favorite spot.

  “Unfortunately, that’s nowhere near the worst news I have for you. Reports of citizens being attacked by men made out of stone are coming in.”

  That caused me to sit up in bed and pay closer attention. She continued, “As of right now there have been ten reported deaths and they all have a similar calling card.”

  “What’s that?”

  Gretchen said, “All of the victims were young Japanese women. These stone men seem to be targeting them. A few officers tried to shoot them, and they said the bullets just ricocheted off the men and only made them angrier.”

  “So they didn’t apprehend any of the stone men?”

  She scoffed, “No. The police followed them until a red fog surrounded the stone men and lifted them off the ground, carrying them away and disappearing into the clouds. Does any of this make sense to you?”

  It made a great deal of sense while terrifying me at the same time. “Vaguely. I understand the principles behind what you are describing, but I don’t know where to start.”

  She growled, “Well, you better hurry up. My daughter is now in direct danger. And by the way, why did she text me last night talking about what a big jerk you are?”

  She was talking to her mom about this stuff? That wasn’t cool. “It’s just a little misunderstanding. She wants me to be friends with Felix.”

  “Isn’t he a great young man?”

  Not my partner too. “I’m not sure we are talking about the same person. I’d rather keep our relationship private from you, no offense. Have you heard anything about my dad yet?”

  Her tone softened, “We haven’t. They still haven’t found anything at the correctional institute to go on.”

  My mind flashed to the Sendal Spirits picking up a stone man and carrying him away. What if they did that with my father? Wait, they couldn’t just squeeze him through the prison bars, could they?

  I said, “Okay, thanks for checking.”

  She paused for a few moments, and I thought the line was dead when she sighed, and said, “Listen Merlino, I know life isn’t all roses for you right now, but the journey is full of peaks and valleys. I’ve been through many of them myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is keep your head up and try not to let everything get to you. Easier said than done, I know.”

  We gave each other a hard time, but I really cared about her. “I do appreciate it, Gretchen. Send me all the new information when you get it and I will start to go through everything and try to make sense of this. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Good bye, Mike.”

  Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, a new day arrived, full of surprises. I heightened my hearing and listened to a conversation downstairs. I got up and as I neared the door, the voices became clear. I grabbed
the blue robe hanging on the back of the door and threw it on.

  I went downstairs with Colossus nipping at my heels, cut through the living room, and joined my three friends at the breakfast table. I said a quick hello. Everyone was busy eating and just gave me quick nods.

  A full plate of eggs, bacon and a buttered bagel sat in front of me. Alayna and Reg were about halfway finished with their meal as Carolyn devoured a red sausage link. No fork or knife necessary.

  “What do you got there?” I asked.

  She spoke with a full mouth as she chomped away, “Blood sausage. It’s good.”

  Reg clarified, “Morcilla. It’s a Spanish flavored blood sausage I found down in the strip district. Don’t care for it myself, but this young lady seems to like it.”

  The vampire crushed about six links in a few minutes, leaving pieces of meat and casing covering her shirt.

  I put some of my bacon and eggs in Colossus’s bowl and he joined us at the head of the kitchen table. “So what’s the occasion? Why the early morning party? And I never would expect for you to be awake right now.” I directed the last comment to Carolyn.

  Alayna said, “I came to visit and Reg was outside so we decided to make breakfast for everyone. What are you doing today, young man?”

  I could tell she wasn’t happy that a vampire was staying with me by the tone of her voice. I answered, “Not much. I’m going into the office and hopefully find out more information about those Dybbuk Boxes I was telling you about. Then, I am going to call and apologize to Satoku for something I shouldn’t even be apologizing for.”

  Reg laughed. “Ha ha. That’s what a relationship is most of the time. Saying sorry for stuff you don’t understand.”

  I continued, “That’s not the worst of it. Gretchen told me the stone men that are being raised from the dead are murdering young Japanese women. Satoku is probably more worried about that than being mad at me.”

  Alayna said, “No, we can stay mad at someone during high stress periods. Most times it will only amplify it.”

  Such soothing words from my mentor. “Great, so what should I do?”

  Reg recommended a traditional solution, “Flowers and candy usually work. Sweet talking too.”

  I said, “I wish I were as smooth as you. I guess I could buy her something. She’s not the flowers and candy type girl though.”

  Carolyn blurted out, “Tell her that you will take care of her. Women love security. Tell her that you’ve heard about the killings and you want to protect her. Pledge to her that you would do anything to protect her life, and I’ll bet she forgives you.”

  The young vampire seemed to be sage beyond her years. “That is a good idea.”

  Reg said, “Yeah, I’m a little mad I didn’t come up with that one myself.”

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, and went up to my room to make the call. Due to my social anxiety, my hands started to sweat, and my heart raced out of control. I stared at her name on the phone list for almost a minute before pressing send.

  She picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

  “Hey…hell…hello, how are you?”

  “How am I?” The sharp tone in her voice indicated that she wasn’t happy. “How am I, you want to know? Let’s see, my boyfriend is acting like a jerk right now, and, oh by the way, there’s a pack of zombie murderers out there targeting women like me. I’m not doing very well right now, Mike.”

  “I totally understand and that’s why I am calling. I want to apologize for last night.” Even though nothing was my fault. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

  “I just don’t understand why the two men I like most in this world can’t be friends. I get that he is quirky and somewhat braggadocious, but so are you to a certain degree.”

  This conversation wasn’t going the way I would have liked. Nothing in my life seemed to be going how I wanted. I had to swallow some pride. “I will try to be friends with him. Speaking of those murders, I don’t think you should be running around without protection.”

  “My mom gave me that pistol a while ago and I don’t usually carry it, but now I think I should.”

  I guess she hadn’t heard that the bullets bounced off the stone men. “I was thinking that maybe I could protect you. You can just stay around me and I will keep the stone men at bay.” I had forgotten about my vampire friend and quickly realized how that might complicate matters.

  “Felix has already offered, and I took him up on it. He’s going to be right by my side, 24/7. Don’t you worry, I’ll be safe with him around.”

  That was not what I wanted to hear. “Are you sure? I’m not trying to demean him, but I think you would be safer with me.”

  “See, this is what I’m talking about. You think that you’re better than him.”

  I paced around my room, tense. “I don’t think that I am better than him as a person. I know more magic than he does. It’s a fact. That is all I am pointing out. I’m only saying that I have a lot of skills that could keep you safe. That’s it.”

  “Sorry for biting your head off. I’m just super-stressed out with finals coming up and everything.”

  “I totally get it. That’s why I am making this offer. I want all your worries to be at bay and I just feel like I can provide the best security for you in the city of Pittsburgh.” Stop using the phrase, ‘at bay,’ you idiot.

  “I appreciate it, I really do. However, I am going to stick with Felix on this one. Do you want to say hi to him?”

  Do I want to say hi to him? I’d rather smash my testicles with a spiked hammer. But there wasn’t a spiked hammer handy. “I’m actually on the run, but just tell him I said, hello, and if anything happens to you, I’ll be having a long talk with him.”

  “Sometimes you can be such a little boy, Mike. Bye.”

  She didn’t wait for me to return the closing pleasantry and hung up the phone.

  Am I really being that big of an asshole by worrying about my girlfriend’s safety? I just don’t see it. The list of problems, profession and private, was lengthening rapidly.

  Girl problems. Daddy problems. Dybbuk Boxes. Sendal Spirits. Murderous stone men. Am I forgetting anything? The vampire tight rope. On top of that, Alayna hated vampires and I had one as a permanent house guest in the apartment she’d rented to me.

  Oh yeah, I’m doing friggin’ great.

  I went back downstairs and explained to everyone what a disaster of a phone call it was.

  Alayna looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. “Should we work on a potion or experiment?”

  I smirked. That normally helped cheer me up. “I do like that. With my mental state, maybe we should try for tomorrow. I have to get to the office today and pretend to do some real work.”

  Feeling down, I decided to wear a suit to the office to give off that professional vibe. I rarely got walk-in clients, but I wanted to look sharp for the thirty second walk down the street. I strutted outside, but no one was there to notice. I rolled down the sidewalk and entered the front door of the office.

  No missed calls, which meant no messages to check. I sat down at my desk and peered out the window at the cloudy sky, hiding the sun. I checked my email for the messages from Gretchen about the murders, but she hadn’t sent them yet.

  I kicked back in the chair, realizing there wasn’t much I could do. I had no idea where the Sendal Spirits or the stone men were. Running around looking for them would be a colossal waste of time. The puzzle was beginning to come together, but I needed several more pieces to understand this fully.

  I paced around the office, bored. I caught a long, shiny black streak out of my peripheral and went to the front door. I looked through the glass opening at a stretch limousine in front of my office. This was not an everyday occurrence, or an any day occurrence for that matter.

  13

  A werewolf dressed in a classic chauffeur’s outfit walked around the front of the car and to a door near the back of the vehicle. I was frozen in place as the werewolf opened t
he door, pulled a red carpet from the bottom of the door, and backpedaled up to my office.

  An old man in flowing burgundy robes emerged from the limousine. He had white hair with hints of black that curled and hung below his shoulders. His matching beard appeared to be braided in certain areas, but upon closer inspection, I believed it was just a natural entanglement. His shimmering robes were belted with thick golden rope, tied in a perfect knot.

  The man was neither tall nor short, not fat or skinny, but his age was apparent from his hair and the way he grabbed the railing to help him get down the steps. He descended the final stairs and the werewolf pulled open the door. I stepped to the side in awe.

  The man entered, hands buried in the chest area of the robes. I detected magic on this person and wondered if he was going to pull a gun out and shoot me. The magic wasn’t strong, lucky for me. We had a several second standoff, until I said, “Hello there, Micheal Merlino.”

  I extended an open right hand. The older man thrust his palm into mine and we shook. His hands were a little fat and very soft, almost like a firm pillow. I looked into his gray eyes flecked with bright silver and waited for him to say something.

  His bellowing voice said, “Socrates, the pleasure is mine.”

  Whoa. What? “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

  He smiled. “I get the same reaction wherever I go. You aren’t the first.”

  I knew about the Greek Gods being in Pittsburgh, but this man was a mortal, right? “But I thought you died from having to drink the poison hemlock? In the prison?” I sank into my desk chair.

  I pointed to the leather seat facing my desk, and he sat down and crossed his legs. “That wasn’t me. When the Greek Gods realized my life was in jeopardy, they sent in a body double to take the punishment. I didn’t agree with the death of an innocent man at first, but the Gods can be persuasive.”

  The man didn’t have a Greek accent, although I’m not exactly sure what one would sound like. He didn’t speak like an ancient philosopher, choosing to go with the local vernacular. I assumed he adjusted his speech patterns to suit his audience like the Celtic Gods. Disappointing.