Barbara's Plea

by Stacy Eaton

  “Of course I would be interested in hearing about it,” he replied after he finished chewing.

  I eyed him carefully, “I got bent over the arm of our leather sofa so he could get himself off and didn’t end up with any broken bones that night.” His face grew pale. “You asked,” I reminded him softly.

  The tension in the air was thick, despite the slight breeze, and I turned to him. His eyes were wide open as he stared at me. A mixture of anger, pain, and compassion flitted over his features. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed the food in his mouth.

  “Jesus, Barb, I’m so sorry.” He shook his head, “How can you say that so cavalierly?”

  I waved a hand at him, “Don’t be sorry. It was part of my life, a part I am trying to put behind me.” I grew quiet and thought for a second. I didn’t want this afternoon to be about me and what I went through. “And Peggy told me that when I was ready, I needed to talk about it, get it out in the open. The sooner I verbalized the abuse, the sooner I could put it in my past.” I paused, “I checked out of the relationship a long time ago, Grey. After the first time he hit me, my feelings began to fade. The day I stepped out that door, I felt nothing for him, and want nothing more than to put it behind me and move forward.”

  “Does it make it easier to talk about? I always thought it was hard for victims to talk about abuse.”

  I shrugged, “I guess it is, but like I said, I want to get past it. I know that a lot of women in my situation wouldn’t trust another man, or even consider getting to know one for a long time.” I eyed him, “I don’t have trust issues. Todd did what he did because he was a monster, and, no, I don’t think all men are like that.”

  “How can you be so sure that I’m not like that?” His voice was so serious, and I smiled to try and lighten the mood.

  “Because Gigi has a damn good sense of reading people. If she can care about you and trust you, then so can I.”

  The left edge of his lip tipped up, “Thanks.”

  I pulled in clean fresh air and closed my eyes, leaning my head back so the sun would warm my skin. “My marriage was over the first time he hit me. It just took me time to figure out how to get away. I know that it’s going to take me a while to get over the anger and the fear he caused, but I want to live life. I have missed out on some great years, and I don’t want to miss another minute of life.” I turned toward him.

  “I get that,” he said softly and winked.

  I grabbed a piece of cheese, “So how did you really meet Gigi?”

  I laughed. Man, it had been less than two weeks ago, and it felt like so much longer. “Your grandmother witnessed me being fired; she took pity on me and bought me breakfast. While we ate, we talked, and I showed her a picture of Nate. She saw the toy box and the rest is history.”

  “That sounds like Gigi,” I laughed. “Your turn to ask a question.”

  “What? We’re playing twenty questions?”

  I nodded in assent.

  “Okay, tell me about your family.”

  “Ah, the family questions, okay. This one is easy. I had the best parents, I loved them and they loved me. We had minimal fuss while I was a teenager. They taught me strong values and how to stand up for myself.” I paused and looked out over the lake. “My mom passed away from breast cancer right before I graduated from college, and my dad passed away from a heart attack while he was playing golf. I was already in California when he died, but I spoke with him on the phone constantly.” Grey didn’t stop me so I kept on. “He even came out and met Todd at our engagement party. He thought he was a great guy, but back then, I did too.”

  “Where did you work?” he asked.

  “Hey, it’s my turn.” I pushed his shoulder, and he grinned.

  “I was hoping you’d forget.” He laughed and took a sip from his plastic wineglass. “What’s the question?”

  “Tell me about your family.” I chose a strawberry from the fruit pile and allowed the sweet flavor to wrap around my tongue once I bit into it.

  “Like you, I had great parents. I think I told you they passed away a few years ago. I’d like to think their love was too strong to keep them apart for long.”

  Our eyes met. “I think that about my parents, too. Do you think you’ll ever have that kind of love?”

  “I’d like to think so,” he studied me for a moment. “I thought maybe I had it with Cheryl.”

  “But you didn’t?” A bird called out above us, and we both turned to the sound.

  “No, turns out I didn’t.” He cleared his throat, “My turn. Where did you work?”

  “I worked for a marketing company that helped nonprofit organizations raise money. I loved it. I met a lot of people who were making a difference in the world, helping others.”

  “I can see you helping others; you seem like that kind of person.”

  I glanced down at the food and saw that we had devoured most of the spread already. “I’d like to think I am that kind of person. What do you like to do when you aren’t making things?”

  “Hmm, I used to love playing with Nate. When I wasn’t working, we were at the park, or riding bikes. When he got sick, we played board games, Legos, and read more books together.”

  “There is no doubt in my mind that you were a great father to him,” I said quietly.

  “He was my world.” He dusted off his hands, “Are you going to eat anymore of this?”

  “No, I’m done.” We took a few minutes to put what was left back into the basket, and I shifted a few inches closer to him.

  “Whose turn is it now?” he asked.

  “Mine, you asked me if I was done.” I grinned at him.

  “Hey, that doesn’t count.”

  “It does when you’re playing twenty questions; it was a question.”

  “Funny, alright, cheater, go ahead.” We both laughed again. God, did it feel good to laugh and relax. The sunshine felt awesome on my skin, and the air around me made me think I could finally let my soul fly free.

  “Tell me about Cheryl.”

  “Seriously, you want to go there?” His lips were in a tight line, the relaxation that had been present only moments ago washed away with my words.

  “No, I don’t want to go there, but you know about Todd, so I want to understand about your wife. I think that is only fair.”

  He looked over his shoulder and then lay back on the wooden planks of the deck, bringing one knee up and setting his foot flush on a board. His tight t-shirt lifted away from his waistband and his tanned firm skin caught my attention. A thin trail of hair disappeared under the soft material of his shirt and the waistband of his jeans. My fingers twitched to reach out and touch it. I clenched my hands.

  “Cheryl and I met in college. She was there for her marketing degree, and I was there for business. We started dating, she got pregnant, we got married. Nate was born five months after we were married and everything was great. I had dropped out of college to work full time so we could afford the bills. She ended up getting her degree and a good job.” His eyes were closed as he lay back with one arm tucked under his head. “It was good enough that I started back to school to finish my business degree and work part time, and then Nate got sick. Her insurance was good, but not great. It paid for most things, but near the end, we had hit our limits and the bills started to pile up.

  “Cheryl pulled away from me, from Nate. She had a hard time even going to the hospital to see him at the end. Said it was too hard. I had lost my job at this point, and spent all of my time at the hospital with him. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly keep a woman from her child, especially when he was as sick as he was.”

  A muscle ticked in Grey’s jaw, and I figured he was done talking, but I gave him a few minutes to live in the memory. He surprised me when he kept going, and it was this last information that explained so much of why he never spoke of his late wife.

  “I was at the hospital with Nate one night, and a nurse came in to get me. She told me that Cheryl had
been in a car accident and was in the emergency room. When I got down there, she was this broken mess. She was still alive, but her neck was broken, and doctors told me that if she survived, she would probably be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.”

  “I remember staring down at her and wondering if I wanted her to live or die. I was about to lose my son, so there was a part of me that wanted her to live, but another part of me knew that Cheryl would hate to live in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She was too vain.”

  The pain came off of Grey in waves as he relived the memories. I shifted closer and lay down beside him, resting my head on his arm and placing my hand on his chest, just under his heart. His left hand came up to lie over it.

  “In the bed next to Cheryl, there was a guy she worked with. They had just gone out to dinner, he was under the influence. She’d been having an affair with him.” He sighed, “She was screwing around with that guy while I sat at our dying son’s bedside day after day. What kind of a mother does that?”

  “Not a good kind,” I said softly.

  “A week later, Nate died—and six days later, Cheryl died of complications. I had lost them both in less than two weeks.”

  I kissed his shoulder and slowly let my hand caress his chest—not in a sexually stimulating way, but in a way that he would know someone who cared was there with him.

  “There is something else; something that I never told anyone.”

  “If you want to tell me, you can. If you don’t, you don’t have to.”

  Grey was quiet for a few moments. The solid thump of his heart beat under my hand, and I studied the whiskers on his cheek.

  “I have a few friends on the police force. One of them got me a copy of the accident report. It turns out the guy was drunk, and so was Cheryl. She was giving him a blow job while he drove. He crossed the double yellow, hit another car head on. His air bag deployed and that is what broke Cheryl’s neck.”

  “Oh, my God.” The words came out in a soft rush and my hand went to his cheek. I turned his face toward me, “Grey, I’m so sorry.”

  Our faces were inches apart, and I saw the painful memories visible in his eyes. A single tear fell from his eye toward the dock.

  I hated the woman I had never met. How could someone leave her child alone in a hospital and cheat on a man like Grey. He deserved so much more, so much better.

  I lifted my head and brought my lips to his. The intent of my kiss was to tell him that he wasn’t alone anymore, and that I understood the pain and betrayal that he had endured. Our lips touched briefly on a whisper, and I pulled back to look down into his bright blue eyes.

  “You deserve so much more,” I said as I stared down at him.

  “So do you,” he said, and I felt his hand come to the back of my neck. He only had to nudge my head forward for me to return to the safety of his lips.

  As they touched, his arms wrapped around me, and I shifted to get closer. This kiss was the most heartfelt thing I had ever felt. He had just bared his soul to the one woman who would understand it and not judge him on it.

  His hand slipped down my back and under my t-shirt. The rough skin of his fingers brushed over my skin, and I had never enjoyed the feeling more than I did at that moment.

  It was only one long kiss, but it was enough for me to know that this man was worth so much more.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Grey

  I surprised myself by telling her about Cheryl. Maybe it was because the sun was shining on me and my body felt warm and comfortable, or maybe it was the glass of wine that had loosened my lips. It didn’t matter. Once I started talking, I let it all out.

  Barb’s lips on mine only confirmed my feelings that I could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t think twice about it. She had been through hell, and she knew what it was like to live there.

  I had told myself that getting involved with Barb wasn’t a good idea, but as my hand slipped over the soft skin of her back, I couldn’t find the willpower to stop. In her, I saw that she understood me. She barely knew me, but she didn’t have to know all the little stories of my life. She only had to see the man that I was, and she did.

  I pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. I didn’t want to let her go, not now, not ever, but I would have to. Deep inside, I knew that this time with her was a healing process for her, a way for her to get a grasp on her future and get past the pain she had endured. If I could help her with that, I would.

  I put my head back to the wood planks as we finished the kiss. Her cheek rested on my chest, her fingers trailing over my ribs, going lower. I grasped her hand before it went too low and laced our fingers together.

  Two hands, one scarred and callused, one delicate and soft. How could two things that were so different fit together so perfectly, and feel so right?

  “Grey,” she placed a kiss on my chest, “thank you for sharing that. I know it wasn’t easy.”

  “You’re right, it wasn’t, but I knew if anyone would understand, you would.” My voice was scratchy, and I cleared my throat. “We should be going back. I have some work to get done before dinner. I promised Gloria I wouldn’t miss it tonight.”

  Barb laughed, and the vibration of it through her chest into mine caused all kinds of thoughts to spin through my mind, but I pushed her back to sit up. “Yeah, if you don’t, she’ll think we didn’t kiss and make up.”

  I grinned at her after we were both sitting upright, “I think your mission was accomplished.” I leaned over and met her halfway for a soft kiss.

  “Glad it worked.” We packed up the rest of the items and when we stood, I took her small hand back into mine.

  We walked in silence, enjoying the last few minutes of solitude before we went our separate ways. I wasn’t quite sure if I would be able to focus on my work this afternoon, not without replaying that smoking kiss over and over again, but I had to try.

  I owed it to Gloria.

  “Did you speak with the District Attorney? I forgot to ask earlier.” The relaxed mood she had been in began to crumble, tension replacing it at the mere mention of the issue.

  “Yeah, we did speak. I am probably going to have to go back to California and speak to them out there.” She huffed a breath, “Gigi already hired me two lawyers, one here and one out there. The one here started the divorce proceedings already.”

  “Does Todd know you are alive?” I squeezed her hand to let her know I was right there to support her.

  “He should by now. They were going to advise him.” We passed by the shop and continued to the house. “I thought you had to go to the shop.”

  “I do, but I want to deliver you home. That’s what a gentleman does, besides if you came back to the shop, you’d probably try to have your wicked way with me, and I need to work.”

  She tossed her head back and laughed, “Oh, you are getting to know me so well.” She squeezed my hand, “Wasn’t today fun?”

  I winked at her, “Yes.”

  She bumped her shoulder to mine, “I wasn’t talking about that.”

  “Neither was I.” We both chuckled, and then we heard a squeal of laughter and little feet come charging our way through the garden.

  “Momma, Momma, Momma,” Allie called out as she raced as fast as her little chubby legs could go towards Barb. Gloria sat on a bench watching, and I released Barb’s hand so she could scoop up Allie.

  Gloria grinned at me. She might look like an old lady, but hidden somewhere on her person was Cupid’s bow; I was sure of it. As I took in the picture of Allie hugging her mother and Barb’s content smile, I realized that I had been shot right in the ass—not by one arrow, but by two. I was crazy about both of them.

  “You’re going to make it to dinner tonight?” Gloria asked as Allie babbled to her mom and wiggled to get down.

  ‘Yes, ma’am. I’ll be at dinner tonight.” I felt a tug at my pants leg and looked down.

  Allie stretched her hands up toward me, “Up, Gay, up.”

  I passed
the basket off to Barb and scooped Allie into my arms. “How is my little button today?” My little button? Damn… yep, the arrow had slammed straight into my butt!

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged, and I saw Barb shake her head and look away as if she were in pain. Maybe Barb didn’t want me to get close to her daughter. I pulled one arm from my neck.

  “Allie, I have to go to work now, but I’ll see you later.” I went to put her down, and she tried to latch back on.

  “No, Gay. Pay,” she commanded forcefully.

  “What?” I stared at her and found Barb smiling again.

  “She wants you to play with her.” Barb took Allie from my arms, “Honey, Grey has to go do some work. He will come back and play with you later.”

  I tweaked her nose, “Yes, I will do that. I will play with you before dinner tonight.”

  Allie giggled. God, I loved the sound of that.

  “I’ll see you ladies later,” I waved at Gloria and turned to leave, but Barb grabbed my hand to stop me.

  I raised an eyebrow at her and peeked over at Gloria as Barb came to stand in front of me. What? Did she expect me to kiss her in front of not only her daughter but her grandmother, too?

  “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon,” she said softly.

  “My pleasure.” Instead of kissing her on the lips, I leaned over and kissed her forehead, and on a whim, kissed Allie’s, too. As I stepped away, three sets of ladies’ eyes watched me, and I was sure I had just floored them all.

  I had a skip to my step as I walked back to the shop. Maybe things could work out after all.

  The afternoon flew by, and I was able to get a lot done, I probably would have accomplished more, but I kept stopping and glancing at the clock. Each time I did, I took a moment to remember the kiss on the dock.

  I could imagine kissing Barb on that dock for years to come. It was easy to imagine what life could be like when you lived in a place like this and had money to do whatever you wanted.

  A moment of unease passed through me. I didn’t belong here, not in this house, with this kind of money. I was a guy who had nothing, not even a real home.