Finding Haven

by Foster, T. A.

  Haven rushed from the register to face Travis. “What did you say?” This morning was progressively getting worse.

  He straightened his stance, brushing the hair off his forehead. “Just leave it alone. We’ve got work to do.”

  “Work? You think I can work with you glaring at me every chance you get? Now you’re teaming up with my dad like you two are best buddies? You know what he did—what he’s doing. You are the only person I’ve ever told.” She sucked in a big breath of air. “This isn’t work. This is torture.”

  She walked back to the register as she heard the jingle of the door. The early customers had arrived for their morning coffee and donuts. Quickly, she tallied the money in the drawer and returned it to its slot. Travis had disappeared. Good, she thought. They constantly needed more distance between them.

  It was almost impossible to be in the same room with him since their falling out almost two weeks ago. No more smiles, jokes, or flirty banter. It was like the history they had never existed. She knew she destroyed it the minute she let him kiss her. Regret was an awful roommate who had moved in the night she kicked Travis out, and like terrible roommates, it made everything messy and awkward.

  HE STARED at the phone. It didn’t ring as much as it did when he first arrived, but that was because he had talked to everyone but her. They all knew he was hiding out, and except for a few extra calls from Allan, his team seemed to respect his decision to take some time off. What they didn’t realize was that the time off wasn’t temporary.

  He watched the steam swirl from the coffee cup, and then glanced back at the phone. When he woke up this morning, he hadn’t even thought about her, but once he settled into the camper’s red vinyl booth, she was all he could think about it. He knew it was time. He opened the missed calls on his screen and tapped her name. It was at the top.

  “Evan? Oh my God, Evan.” Her voice was frantic.

  “Hey.” He picked up his coffee and sipped. He felt steady and calm, something he wasn’t expecting when he heard her voice on the other end of the phone.

  “I’ve tried to call and I left messages and texts. Why didn’t you answer any of them? It’s been like two weeks.”

  The waves rolled onto the shore. These questions were bound to come up. He knew she would have tons of them along with excuses. “Because, Emmy, I didn’t feel like talking.”

  Words tumbled from her mouth. “I know you saw the pictures. And it was a mistake. I promise. Nothing else happened. I was in Hawaii, we had all this down time, and it didn’t mean anything. I swear, Evan. I didn’t know the paps were following me.”

  He found that hard to believe. When wasn’t Emmy picture ready? Her explanations didn’t matter. He needed to get this over with.

  “What you need to know is that I’m not mad at you. That’s not why I called.” He was already going off script. He had a planned speech, but given the circumstances, it seemed kind of stupid to use.

  “But you don’t sound like yourself. I totally get why you’d be mad at me. You have to know the whole thing is a mis—”

  “Emmy, would you just listen?” He cut her off more harshly than he intended.

  “Ok, ok, why did you call? I’m listening.” She exhaled into the phone, and he knew her full lips were pouting wherever she was.

  “I called to tell you I’m sorry. Sorry about everything that happened.”

  “I-I don’t understand.” Her voice slowed.

  He couldn’t expect her to know the layers behind his words. She hadn’t been along for his soul-searching journey.

  “I can’t blame you for spending time with someone else when I wasn’t around. Ever. I checked out a long time ago, Emmy. That wasn’t your fault.”

  “But you were around. It is my fault. Totally my fault. I’m sorry you saw the pictures. Can we just talk in person? I’ll come to wherever you are. Let’s just talk about this. Please, Evan.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea, darlin’.”

  If he even considered trying to put the relationship together again, it was always going to end up this way. He wasn’t in love with her, and he knew it was because he had never given her the time or the chance she deserved. Now with the pictures and the headlines, he wouldn’t be able to get past it long enough for a do-over.

  “Now I’m really confused.” She sounded shaky.

  He thought about the time they spent together. How the only reason they dated was to play up the romance in Masquerade during the premiere month. Both of their publicists had pushed the idea. It was supposed to end there, but he and Emmy had fallen into a pattern of going out together, posing for pictures, eating in hot-spot restaurants, and spurring the paparazzi frenzy until they couldn’t have pizza delivered without suspecting the pizza guy had a camera in the box. It was a relationship created to fuel their careers, and it had put them both in a fishbowl they couldn’t swim out of. The only difference was that Emmy thrived in the fishbowl. She loved every flashing camera and autograph request. Evan only wanted to get a cup of coffee without women tearing at his jacket or giggling profusely when he said hello. It was all too much.

  “Emmy, I think it’s best if we just call this what it is. Over.” He dumped his coffee in the sink and reached in the mini-fridge for a beer.

  “But I miss you. Like really miss you. I’m sorry, really sorry.” Her voice cracked and he winced at the sound. He didn’t want to be someone she missed.

  He tried to think if he missed her. There was no denying she was beautiful—gorgeous by any man’s standards—but he knew even after the dating had turned from publicity stunt to voluntary that there was something missing. He couldn’t help but think Emmy was with him to toss her star a little higher in the sky. Her love for him always seemed the brightest when a camera was nearby.

  “I’m sorry. I called to tell you that and to let you know I’m not mad. I don’t want you to think I’m mad.” According to the grocery store headlines, he was in hiding with a broken heart, plotting a comeback with a bombshell supermodel.

  “Can’t you give us another chance? Just talk about it at least? You told me you wanted to take me home to meet your family. We were supposed to go to Texas. Let’s do that. We can go to the ranch and get away from the cameras. I’ve always wanted to see where you live. As much as you talked about Texas I always felt like I’d actually been there with you. We need to be alone. Just you and me.”

  It was hard to hear. He didn’t expect it. She wasn’t supposed to fight him on it, but for some reason, Emmy was grasping at straws and clawing for memories and promises that shouldn’t have been made.

  “Darlin’, we both know we were only together for the movie. Don’t spin it into something it wasn’t.”

  Although, he was starting to doubt what it was they had. Was Emmy more genuine and sincere than he realized? Maybe he was the one doing the spinning. Everything was muddled and blurry. It didn’t matter. They couldn’t start over. The media would always be the third person in their relationship, and he was done living his love life on the front page.

  “Dammit, Evan. It was not just a publicity tactic. That trip to Cabo? The night in San Francisco? Really, that was all for our images? There were no cameras; it was you and me. You’re a real asshole, you know that!”

  He took a swig of the cold beer. At least if she was mad at him, she would stop trying to stir up feelings. “I just needed to say it. Set things straight. Ok?” He paused. “Take care, Emmy. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” This was not the time to tell her he had walked his last red carpet. That would really set her off.

  “Take care? Who am I even talking to? Why didn’t you just text me a break up?”

  He sighed. “It’s not even a break up. You moved on weeks ago. This is more of a good-bye.”

  “I told you I was sorry about Hawaii. Evan, come on. Tell me where you are. You’re sounding crazy and not like yourself at all. Say something that makes sense. Say something that sounds like Evan Carlson!” The de
speration in her voice had picked back up.

  He closed his eyes. This had to be it. Everything there was to talk about had been said. There wasn’t any reason to drag it out. The longer he stayed on the phone, the longer Emmy had to surprise him with more memories they shared. He didn’t want that.

  “Bye, Emmy.” He slid the phone across the table and finished off the beer.

  It was over. She wouldn’t call or text anymore. If she did, it was her own damn fault for not listening. This was all for the better. One day she would realize it. Evan hoped, for her sake, it didn’t take her two weeks on a lonely beach to figure it out.

  THE WATER was calm again today. Evan didn’t know if it was normal for the ocean to be like this two days in a row, but he had a feeling he should make the most of it.

  He opened the door to the campground office. “Good morning, Shug.”

  “Well, hey, Jay.” She thumbed through a gardening magazine and glanced in his direction.

  “I’m headed into town. I was hoping you might be able to tell me if there’s a place to rent those kayaks I keep seeing out there.” He pointed to the orange and blue boats drifting near the shore.

  “Kayaks? You mean you’re not going to sit and drink on the beach all day?” She cleared her throat and flipped to a page on summer gardenias.

  Evan shoved his hands in his pockets. He hadn’t cared much about what people thought about him. He didn’t want them to think about him at all, but Shug’s accurate description stung a little. From a distance, he could see where people might get the wrong impression of him.

  “I thought I should see the beach from the waterside.” He laughed, trying to charm her with his usual finesse, but Shug was one woman who wouldn’t take the bait.

  “They rent them out there at Owen’s General Store. Behind the store, there’s a stand on the docks.” The gardenia feature must be fascinating, although Evan knew they couldn’t grow anything at the campground. There wasn’t any soil, only sand.

  “Thanks, Shug. I appreciate it.” He turned for the screen door.

  “How’s that book of yours coming along?”

  “Book?” Evan froze. “Oh yeah, it’s going. Taking me a little longer to write than I expected.”

  “Good thing you’re here for the whole summer, I guess.” Shug placed the magazine on the desk.

  Evan couldn’t help but think she saw right through him and his flimsy cover, but if she did, she didn’t mention it.

  “Tell Harry I said hello.” Evan knew he was down on the beach surf fishing. He was out every day with a pole and a chair.

  “Will do.” She picked the magazine up.

  Evan closed the door behind him and strolled to his Jeep. He had left it running in front of the office. It was a small campground, and other than Charlotte, he thought most people stayed only a night or two before moving on. It made sense Shug would know his habits.

  He felt a little guilty about the drinking. The last thing he wanted was to be known as the campground drunk. His mother would not be happy with him. He turned onto the road that led to the village and vowed to cut back on the beer. Five o’clock was an acceptable cocktail hour—no more beer for breakfast. He leaned over, cranked up a song on the radio, and let the wind blow through his hair.

  He hadn’t returned to the general store since his first morning on the island. The grocery store had more produce, and despite the beer runs, he did like to have fresh fruit. He only wished the bananas weren’t so spotted. As he pulled into an open parking space, he noticed the docks behind the store for the first time. Just as Shug described, there was a wooden stand with Rentals written in blue. It looked like the store carried kayaks, canoes, snorkel sets, and fishing gear.

  Evan hopped on the boardwalk and strolled to the boat slips where the rental stand sat.

  As he walked closer, he overheard parts of a disagreement. He kept his hands in his pockets and hung back close to the corner of the store. Whoever was talking needed a minute to figure things out.

  “Trav, you can’t be serious. You are quitting?”

  “Yeah, why is that so unbelievable? You think you know me so well. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?” He smirked.

  Evan recognized the clerk who had helped him with the beer. That guy had seemed a lot nicer in the store, and there was the girl who wrote notes on the register paper. He had forgotten how pretty she looked. Right now, she looked mad.

  “Don’t be such an ass. There is no reason to quit.” Her hands were on her hips.

  “I don’t want to work here anymore. I don’t want to see you at the store everyday. I’m tired of covering for you, and I got another job.”

  “Another job?” Her voice was shrill. Evan watched as the guy walked from behind the counter, out onto the pier. He was starting to think this wasn’t the best time to rent a kayak. Maybe another day.

  “Yeah, Haven. Another job.”

  “Don’t leave like this,” she pleaded.

  “What’s this, son?” A deeper voice emerged in the discussion. “You’re leaving?”

  Evan peeked around the corner. The two store clerks had been joined by a man probably in his fifties. This was getting more awkward.

  “Mr. Owen, sorry for you to hear this way, but I’ve taken another position.” Travis’s voice might have cracked.

  The man glared at the pair. “Let me guess, this has something to do with Haven.”

  “Dad, that’s not fair. I had no idea Travis was leaving.”

  Evan watched as the man turned his back on the girl. “Travis, I’m sorry for whatever has happened. What can I do to keep you on?”

  “Mr. Owen, you’ve been really great to me over the years.”

  “That doesn’t sound like I have a chance to change your mind.” He sighed. “I hope we can come to an understanding, but if we can’t, I can count on you to work until I find a replacement?”

  “No, sir. I’m sorry, but this is my last day at the store. I start tomorrow.” There was an air of triumph in the announcement.

  “Trav, what are you talking about? Where are you going?”

  “I’m the new surfing instructor at Wave On.” He looked pleased with himself.

  “You know, Travis, why don’t you wait inside for me and I’ll be in to discuss your pay. I need to speak with Haven for a second.” The older gentleman urged the clerk to leave the conversation.

  Travis tossed a clipboard on the countertop and walked a few paces on the docks and into the store.

  The father turned. “Don’t stand there and tell me you’re not responsible for him leaving.”

  “Dad, this is complete news to me, but Travis has a right to change jobs if he wants to.”

  “Of course he does, but he has worked here for five years, and all of a sudden, he can’t stand it? How do you expect me to replace an employee like that? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Any idea at all?”

  The tears were there welling in her eyes, even from fifteen feet away Evan could see them. He also saw her biting her bottom lip. She didn’t seem like the type that would cry, but the movie star wasn’t sure he had ever heard an exchange like this before.

  “I can try to talk to him again. I’ll ask him to stay.” She was trying to smooth the waters.

  “No. I think you’ve done enough. In the meantime, you can take over his Thursday shift and—”

  “But, that’s my one day off!”

  “Maybe after this you’ll learn to respect the boundaries at work.”

  “You can’t be serious.” Evan watched as the girl balled her fists on the counter. He didn’t know what was happening between the father and daughter, but it was messy. He didn’t like the hurt that was on her face. She was being bullied, and he felt a protective instinct kick in his belly. He wanted to help her.

  “You’ve left me without a clerk. It’s almost the end of June. Where am I going to find somebody now? All the students have jobs. No one is going to turn up at this point in the summer. Travis was t
he best employee I had. Five years, Haven. He was here five years.”

  “Dad, I’ll find someone. Calm down.” She pressed the ends of her palms into her cheekbones. Evan was impressed the tears didn’t fall.

  “You think it’s that easy? You think we can replace a worker like Travis?” He paused and shifted his gaze to a sailboat cruising past. “Fine. It’s your responsibility now. You find someone who is decent and you can have your Thursdays back.” Evan heard the deck boards creak under the man’s feet as he walked back into the store, muttering something under his breath.

  The coast was clear. Maybe he could rent that kayak now. That was all he wanted—take one of those blue boats out on the water and glide across the surface. He sucked in a deep breath and stepped one foot around the corner.

  And right then, everything changed. He knew he wouldn’t be renting a kayak today.

  THEY WERE just like the lyrics, always popping up at the most inconvenient time. Haven brushed the rolling tears off her cheeks, and searched the rental stand for something to wipe her eyes. The only thing in her apron pocket was a scrap of paper.

  “Dammit, where’s a tissue when I need it?” She pushed the reservation book to the side. Everything looked blurry.

  When she walked into work this morning, she knew Travis was acting fidgety. He got that way when he was nervous. After five years at the store, she couldn’t believe he would quit because of her, because of them. Sure, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but they would have to deal with it and eventually enough time would pass when they could work together again—at least that’s what she had convinced herself. Travis only needed time. Why couldn’t he see that they were better as friends?

  Then her father had to compound the problem. It took every ounce of strength she had not to call him out on the affair. She still wasn’t sure what kept it from flying out of her mouth. She wanted to hit him with it. She wanted him to know that she knew about Betra and their relationship. However, even when the words were on the tip of her tongue, her throat clamped shut and they wouldn’t come out. If she released those words, it would somehow make the unthinkable a reality. Part of her wanted the affair to be a misunderstanding or a bad dream she couldn’t shake.