Finding Haven

by Foster, T. A.

  “Really? You’re really ok with this?” She was dumbfounded.

  “Yep. We’ll even help you move. Make it a family vacation. I’ve never been to Texas.” He stood from the chair, folding his glasses in half.

  Haven laid the contract on the desk. It hadn’t happened in months, but she threw her arms around her father’s neck and hugged him.

  He patted her on the back. “All right, Mom’s got chicken salad for us. Let’s go tell her the news. She hasn’t been on a vacation in years. I can’t wait for you to put that smile on her face.” He walked out of the office.

  Haven had never been more confused in her life. She left the contract and joined her parents for ice tea and chicken salad, like life was normal, serene, and perfect.

  THE PASSAGE of time can be a fickle phenomenon. When you’re in love, every divine second feels fleeting as you rush to scramble the sands back into the hourglass uselessly trying to pause the moments, the love, the rush that overtakes your body and soul. But when your heart is broken, every second is one that you want to speed past and skip. Time slows to a crawl, dragging your heart through memories and pain that can only be eased by walking through what seems like endless dark days.

  A week had gone by since he had seen Haven. She wouldn’t answer his calls, and when he stopped by Ben’s house, Travis met him at the door with a don’t-come-back message. Admittedly, he had asked Travis to protect her; he just didn’t think it would work against him.

  The collection of reporters Emmy had assembled for her staged love reunion departed a few days after she did, realizing that Perry Island wasn’t the most exciting place. The locals left him alone, but the tourists knew he was there now and he had seen more cell phones emerge to capture his face than he had seen in months.

  Foolishly, he thought once the media storm was over and Emmy left, Haven would realize things could go back to normal. However, maybe once you’ve made national news, things never go back to normal. He didn’t know anymore.

  It didn’t feel the same being on Perry Island, knowing that Haven wanted him as far away as possible. Silver Belle was filled with memories of her. Every part of the beach reminded him of walking with her after the hurricane. He couldn’t see a kayak without thinking about going overboard. His sanctuary had become an island of the worst kind of lonely.

  “OH, BABY, I’m going to miss you around her. You sure you can’t stay until the end of the month? It’s August and summer is almost over.” Charlotte pulled on his neck.

  He untangled from her arms. “No, I think it’s time to head back to Texas. But that’s between you and me.” He winked. He knew Charlotte wouldn’t gossip about him. She never had.

  “Well, you take care of yourself, and I’ll look for you on the big screen.” She smiled.

  He shook his head and tossed his duffle bag into the backseat. “Don’t count on that for a while. I’m taking a break, but you never know.”

  After he had fired Allan, he knew he needed to hire a replacement, but that wasn’t going to be easy. How do you hire someone to represent you and handle your media when you don’t want to star in another film? There was still a job to be filled. There was media. There were charity commitments and the foundation to run. Someone had to help navigate the business he had created.

  Emmy might have left the island, but she hadn’t given up on them garnering the Red Lines roles. She texted relentlessly, emailed, and left voicemails. It was worse than when he saw her magazine pictures from Hawaii. He wasn’t about to tell her he had ordered a copy of the book. The spine wasn’t broken yet, but if his name was getting tossed around and she was campaigning for it, he at least wanted to understand the fascination and obsession with the story.

  He had a meeting set up tomorrow to interview a new agent. He was a fellow Texan, and Evan hoped Hollywood hadn’t corrupted him yet. It would be a while before he trusted someone like that again, maybe never. Allan had deliberately tracked down Haven’s bio under the guise of providing information to Bruce at Blue Steel. That was how they were revealed; that was how Emmy found them. He had kicked himself a hundred times for getting involved. If he had left it alone and let her try to break in the music business on her own, they never would have been found.

  He looked at Silver Belle one last time before snaking down the path to the office.

  Mistakes were made way before he asked Allan to get Haven in with a label. The first one was lying to her the day he took the job at the store. He didn’t need a job. She would know that now. He had millions in the bank. He could have told her so many times. If he had only seized one of them, maybe he wouldn’t be handing over the Silver Belle keys to Shug.

  He closed the screen door behind him. “Hey, Shug.”

  “Look who’s here.” She was working on a crossword puzzle.

  He held up the key. “I came to drop these off. I’m moving out.”

  She stood from behind the desk and walked toward him. He didn’t know what was happening. She reached up with her lips and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Shug!” He smiled.

  “You know I’m a big fan, and I wasn’t about to let you waltz out of here without at least one smooch.” She giggled like one of his twenty-something fangirls.

  “I hear you might have a calendar of mine. Can I sign it before I leave?” He waited while she pulled it from the desk drawer.

  “I wasn’t going to ask you to sign it.”

  “I know, but I want to.” He reached for her crossword puzzle pen. “To Shug,” he read aloud while he wrote his message. “Thank you for a wonderful summer. I’ll never forget Silver Belle or you. All my love, Evan.”

  He handed it to her. “And thank you for keeping my secret all summer.”

  “It’s none of my business.” She swatted at the air. “You going to tell Harry you’re off? He’s fishing.”

  “I wouldn’t leave without doing that.” He moved toward the door. “Bye, Shug.” He closed the door behind him and headed to the beach where Harry would be sitting with his pole, waiting for the fish to bite.

  THE FERRY crew waved him on the ramp. Evan had barely made it. When he pulled up and realized he was at the end of the line, a sliver of hope surfaced that maybe he didn’t have to leave Perry Island. Even though he knew there wasn’t any reason to stay. It only brought her more pain if he tried to see her, and he was done causing her pain.

  He parked behind a pickup truck and waited for the crew to put the blocks under his tires before stepping out of his Jeep. It might hurt, but he was going to take in every mile of the island while the ferry floated him toward the mainland. He needed to memorize it. He heard the horn blow and he leaned against the railing, letting the wind whip his hair. He pulled his glasses over his eyes and watched Perry Island slip farther away.

  IT HAD been a week, and in those moments when Haven focused on something else, breathing wasn’t as painful. It should have been an amazing week. She signed the contract with Blue Steel Records, thanks to her father. She still hadn’t come to terms with the steps they had taken in their relationship. It seemed different somehow. Maybe at some point she could talk to him about what he was doing with Betra, but she was nowhere near ready for that. Right now, they were on speaking terms and he was helping her sort through the business aspect of her first contract. It was something new and delicate.

  As phenomenal as the contract was and the prospect of working with Carly Stone, it was all blurred and hazy from the numbness that crept in when she wasn’t looking.

  His name was Evan Carlson. Evan Carlson, she tried saying it so many times, but feeling the betrayal surge through every time it passed over her lips always stopped her cold.

  Was any of it real? She had asked herself that question repeatedly. She stared at the ceiling, rocked in her hammock, drank a bottle of wine, and ran on the beach, asking that question. Was it real?

  The question had rooted in her heart, and the only way to deal with it was to write about it. The lyrics came out in compl
ete versus, pouring forth with every tear and every sob that shook her.

  Every time she heard from him, she shut him out. She didn’t want to hear excuses or justifications for the lies even though she craved them. It felt like weakness invading her body how desperately she wanted to know how sorry he was. If she heard just the right words, maybe the nightmare would go away and she could slide into his arms where the world was safe and calm. However, she kept pushing his chance away. It scared her to face him.

  She realized she was completely new to the ways of the rich and famous, but when her landlady, Mrs. Gaits, showed up to hand her real estate papers, she almost fainted. Evan had bought her house. Well, he bought it for her. There was a letter enclosed. He wanted her to have a place that was all hers, that she didn’t have to share or worry about nosey neighbors. She thought it was ironic, considering none of her neighbors were the ones who ratted her out to the press. It was all people he knew.

  While she was still trying to absorb her new homeowner status, a van pulled up from Banks Security. Evan had called the company to install a security system. He didn’t send a letter with them. Reluctantly, she let the men in. It was highly unlikely her life would be under the media microscope again, but she agreed that if it ever were, she’d rather lockdown in her place instead of Casa del Ben.

  The biggest highlight of the week had to be the call with Carly Stone. Carly had called her, and Haven almost flipped right out of her hammock. She sounded like any other twenty-three-year-old girl—happy, fun, in love with music. Haven knew they instantly clicked. She trusted her with her music.

  Trust. The word had many layers and folds. This week, she had never known it to be such a gray fabric. The one person she had given herself to completely had betrayed her, and the one person she considered the island’s biggest walking liar, she had entrusted with her music career.

  Haven ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes. Maybe some time away from Perry Island would take the hurt away, redefine normal, and restore some balance in her life. It was only a four-day trip to Austin to meet with Bruce and Carly, but it was a welcome distraction.

  She stepped from her car. She always liked to watch from the railing when the ferry horn sounded the departure. It was like embarking on a new journey every time.

  The salt air filled her lungs, and she leaned against the ship’s wall. The sun felt good on her face. She shifted left, watching the foam bubble up in the wake of the ferry. Her eyes trailed along the crowd who had gathered to wave good-bye to the island. She froze. Her heart quickened. It was him. Evan Carlson was standing fifty feet away, leaning against the ferry. Before she could dart back to her car, he saw her. And there was no hiding, no escaping. He was walking, dodging children, bikes, and cars to get to where she was.

  EVAN’S HEART pounded and his head was racing. Haven was there. She was on the ferry, and if he could get there fast enough, he could touch her. That was stupid; maybe he could talk to her. He zigzagged between cars, never realizing fifty feet could be so far away.

  “Haven!” he shouted. She was turning from the railing, and he worried that she might lock herself in her car. He couldn’t blame her. There were a lot of reasons to lock him out.

  He jogged to her. She was close to the bow, where there was an open platform too narrow for cars to pull forward.

  “What are you doing here?” The urge to reach for her and pull her against his chest was unbearable. Why was that the first thing he said, instead of ‘you’re beautiful and I’m an idiot’?

  “I’m going to meet with Bruce.” She hid her blue eyes behind sunglasses.

  There wasn’t a right thing to say, but he had to try. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Maybe she would listen.

  “We can’t talk about this right here.”

  “Why not? We have one hour until we get to the other side. One hour, and then if you don’t want to, you don’t ever have to talk to me again.”

  Her hair blew around her bare shoulders.

  She pointed at a line of people behind Evan. “But, look. I’m not interested in making the news again.”

  Dammit. Tourists and their smart phones. He looked for somewhere they could hide. If he let her drive off this ferry, it would be final. There would be no second chance.

  He grabbed her by the hand, ignoring her attempt to jerk it back. “Follow me.”

  He climbed a set of stairs to the lounge. There were several couples and a family enjoying the air conditioning and the wide views the windows provided of the sound.

  He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Listen up.” He cleared his throat, competing with the hum of the ferry engine. “I’ve got a hundred dollars for each of you if you’ll give me the courtesy of having this room for the rest of the ride.”

  Haven looked at him as if he had announced he was about to start breaking kneecaps.

  “But, it’s all or nothing, everyone out or no cash.” He ignored her glare and started counting out the bills.

  “You got it.”

  “Yep, we can enjoy the view downstairs.”

  “Thank you.” The last couple to leave collected their two hundred dollars.

  Evan slid a chair under the door handle.

  “Ok. We’re alone. No cameras, no people. You and me.”

  Haven stacked her hands on her hips. “You paid them off!”

  Evan shook his head. “I want to be alone with you. Yes, I paid them off. I would clear out my bank account to be alone with you.”

  “And buy beach houses with it?” She fumed.

  “You didn’t like that? I thought you’d want your own place and that way you can keep it secure. You love it there.” He knew she didn’t respond when he sent the letter, but he had hoped she saw it for the gesture it was. He wanted to protect her.

  She spun on her heels and looked out of the window. “I do love it, but I don’t love being bought. Is that what being a movie star is all about?” She glared at him.

  That hurt, but he knew he deserved it. He had given her the worst possible example of movie stars instead of just being himself from the beginning.

  He inhaled all the air his lungs would take in. He needed strength. He needed the speech of his life to get her back. “Haven. I lied to you about who I was. I lied. I am a liar. But—”

  “No! There are no buts for lying. Why couldn’t you just tell me your name? Two words—it was only two words,” she pleaded as she lowered into the chair.

  Evan looked out the window. There were people gathered below with cameras. He reached above each window and tugged on the pulleys until all of the blinds were closed.

  It was as if she was in a trance. She kept talking, so he kept listening. “Did you think I cared about your money or about your fame? Did you really think it mattered to me that you’re a movie star? I haven’t even seen any of your damn movies!”

  “Ok, I get what I did was wrong. And no, I never thought that stuff mattered to you. I know you don’t care if I have fifty million dollars or enough to buy us dinner.”

  Her eyes flared. “No, I didn’t want any of that from you. That’s not what we were about.”

  Here she was telling him the things he had known and felt since the first day on the docks. There were more important things in life, and he would give every cent he had if he could trade his life in and stay on Perry Island with her.

  “I was stupid and made the biggest mistake of my entire life. Believe that.”

  A tear rain down her cheek. “How can I believe anything you say? You have lost all credibility.”

  He kneeled in front of her, desperately wanting to wipe the tear from her face, but knowing she would probably slap him if he tried to touch her.

  “Can I tell you why I came to Perry Island?” It was a story he had always wanted to share with her. He waited for her to answer.

  She nodded.

  “Because I wanted normal. I wanted my life back. Emmy and I were dating.” He noticed her eyes fla
red at the mention of his ex. “And she went to Hawaii to shoot another film. Anyway, she hooked up with some guy and it made headlines.”

  “I remember that story,” she whispered.

  “I wasn’t heartbroken. Don’t get me wrong. She and I were done before that ever happened. But I was so tired of my love life being splashed across every magazine and making the entertainment channels. It was humiliating to see another one of my failures on display for everyone to see. So, I woke up, bought a Jeep, and started driving. I drove as far as I could, and when the road ran out, I hopped this ferry and rode that until I ended up on Perry Island.”

  “You just ditched your Hollywood life to live in a camper all summer?” she questioned.

  “I didn’t have a plan or even a reservation. I slept in the campground because the hotels were closed when I drove in. Harry suggested Silver Belle, and she was perfect. Something I didn’t even know I needed.”

  “But you told everyone you were here as a writer, or did you just start that lie with me?”

  He knew that the writer cover hit her hard. It was a connection she thought they shared. “I made it up as I went along. I didn’t know who I could trust, who would sell me out, who would take pictures of me on the beach or drinking a beer. As far as I knew, everyone was a photographer in tourist’s clothing.”

  He tried to smile. He wanted her to understand. But from the outside he knew it sounded ungrateful and selfish to thwart the hand that helped build his fame and fortune. At one time, those captured pictures of him were the thing that made him popular.

  “I don’t get it, though. Why did you take the job at the store? You didn’t need to do that.”

  “Because of you.” He kept his voice low. If she would just let him hold her, he knew he could fix it. “You looked so miserable and I couldn’t stand to see a pretty girl like you with that look on your face. God, Haven, you are the most beautiful and amazing woman I have ever known.”