A Slow Burning Fire

by J. F. Jenkins

  “Oh, boo-hoo, he wants to grow old with you in a place that's special to you both,” Caroline chimed in from down the hallway. “What a jerk!”

  “I didn't ask you!” Arial shouted at her. “I need to leave.”

  She pushed her way into her bedroom and logged onto her computer so she could book herself a flight. At the same time, she grabbed her suitcase and started throwing as much of her stuff into it as she could.

  Tears pooled in her eyes. They were supposed to be on her side, but of course her family would choose Bryce instead. Just like the whole town had chosen him. Most of all, she hated the fact that both her mother and sister were right. He hadn't done anything wrong, and the things he desired for their relationship weren't necessarily far-fetched. Bryce wasn't the one who was running; it was her. But I have to. As wonderful as this summer has been, I can't commit my life to this place. If he can't respect that, then we aren't going to work out. I don't understand why he'd want to throw everything he's made for himself away.

  Her bag was all packed, and in a matter of a few clicks, her flight was booked. In three hours she would be on her way back to Los Angeles. She'd have enough time to catch a nice nap and then get ready for Marcus's party. It wasn't exactly her scene, but it would be fun. She did know how to have a good time at a party, regardless of what anyone else thought of her. Arial was fun.

  She dragged her suitcase out into the hallway where both her mother and her sister still stood. “Is one of you going to take me to the airport?”

  Patty threw up her hands and shook her head. “I will have no part in this. You know just as well as I do what you should really be doin'.”

  Arial rolled her eyes and then looked at her sister. “Caroline?”

  With some hesitation, Caroline nodded. “I'll drive you.”

  Giving her mother a triumphant nod, Arial made her way to the stairs. “I'll be waiting for you in the car. Don't take too long, or I'll just drive myself and someone will just have to come out and get the car later in the parking ramp.”

  ****

  Bryce dialed Arial's number again. She still refused to pick up the phone. After searching the fair for her for nearly twenty minutes, he realized she most likely had gone back home. He picked up her guitar for her and put it away, loaded it into the car, and then started back for her house.

  Sighing, he hung up and dialed the Henderlites’ instead.

  “Hello?” Mrs. Henderlite answered.

  “Hey, it's me, Bryce,” he said. “I need the number for the Oakleys’ house line. Arial isn't picking up her phone, and I'm trying to get hold of her. I thought that might be the best way to do so.”

  “Sure thing, honey, but if you're looking for Arial I can tell you where she went. Her mama called in a fit about five minutes ago, going on and on about how she was leavin'.”

  “Who was? Arial?”

  “Yes. She packed a bag and went to the airport not that long ago. Somethin' about how she's goin' back 'home' again. That gal is pretty upset with you.”

  He shook his head, groaning softly. “Got it.” Of all the times to start overreacting. If I could just get her to listen to me, then she'd understand more of what I meant — what I'm feeling! She's the only one for me. I don't get what she's so afraid of.

  “You still want that phone number?” Mrs. Henderlite asked.

  “No, I'm gonna be back at the house soon, and then I'm heading to the airport after her.”

  Ideally, he'd have gone straight there, but he wasn't using his own car. It would have been wrong for him to take the Henderlites’ vehicle to the airport. He'd have to time everything right, however. The cab would need to be there as soon as possible, and he'd have to find the quickest flight to Los Angeles as possible. Where else would Arial run? Especially if she was going “home.”

  Mrs. Henderlite laughed quietly. “I will drive you, honey. Let me get a backpack for your flight so you can pack a snack. Chasing after your woman is a lot of work.”

  “She's worth it.” He smiled. “She's scared. I need to calm her down before she does something she's going to regret later. I'll be there soon.” He hung up. Now he just needed to understand what it was he had done wrong. What did I say that set her off so much? I just don't get it. Why in her right mind would she ever think I wanted to be with Katie again? I told Arial I wanted to grow old with her!

  Bryce replayed the disastrous conversation over again in his mind.

  “I've been working hard at what I do to get where I am now, and I'm not just going to throw that aside because you're too afraid to come home again. There's nothing you need to be afraid of back there, Bryce. Unless this is about Katie still. I should have known better than to think you were ever over her. So you think that if we stay here and fade from the public eye your life will be easier? It doesn't work that way. She's still going to have broken your heart, and you're still going to see her in some way, shape, or form. Grow up and stop running from all of your problems!”

  He frowned. “I'm not afraid.” Who am I kidding? Yes, I am. I'm afraid she's going to reject me and crush me. And if Arial rejected him, it'd be far worse than anything Katie had done to him. He was afraid of failing everyone. In Gloriana he didn't have the pressure of what would happen if his new movie projects all flopped. He didn't have the same sense of instability. With Three Wishes over and done with, he was missing his security blanket to fall back on. Selfishly, he also had the family he'd always wanted in Arial's parents, as well as in the Henderlites.

  “I am afraid,” he whispered. “So she's right about that, but this has nothing to do with Katie.” He dialed Arial's phone number one last time, praying that she would pick up her phone and talk to him. All he had to do was calm her down enough to listen.

  “You've reached Arial's voice mail. Leave a message,” the all-too familiar recording of her voice said from the other line. Instead of hanging up, he decided to stay on the line. Maybe if he left her a message, she would hear it before she got onto the plane. He could only hope.

  Exhaling slowly, he pulled into the driveway of the Henderlites. “It's me. I hope you know I didn't mean to upset you so much. Trust me when I say that was not the kind of reaction I was going for. You were right, I am scared. A lot of life is uncertain. What I do know is that you're the one thing in my life that has always been clear. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. Let's talk about this, please. Tell me what has you so afraid. You mean everything to me. I'll hear whatever you have to say, even if it's just to tell me you don't…” He swallowed. “You don't feel the same way. Call me as soon as you can.”

  ****

  Arial listened to the message Bryce had left for her, and her heart broke. I'm being irrational. I should just call him and talk and… She shook her head. I should give it a little longer. Her emotions were still running high, and his probably were, too. Once she was back in California, then her head would be on straight.

  “Was it him?” Caroline asked.

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  “Anythin' good?”

  She nodded. “He doesn't hate me, and he wants to talk. He also admitted that I was right, so I'm not quite sure what to do about that.”

  Caroline shrugged. “It takes a brave man to admit he's wrong.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “But?”

  “What if he is still hung up on his ex?” she said. “And he admitted to being afraid, which is fine, but I'm scared, too.”

  “Then be scared together,” Caroline said. “Isn't that all part of being in a relationship? You share in each other’s triumphs and sorrows. I'm pretty sure that's why so many people break up and get divorced, especially out in Hollywood. People buy into this idea that if they aren't feelin' hearts and flowers and warm fuzzies, then their relationship is some kind of a failure. That's not how it works. You don't fall in love with someone just because they make you feel good.”

  Arial nodded, soaking in her younger sister's words of wisdom. “No, I suppose you
don't, do you? Love definitely doesn't always feel good. I miss him already, and it's only been a couple of hours.”

  “So why are you doin' this?”

  “Because I let myself get deluded in his fantasy bubble. Being here with him is a whole new kind of world. I believe him when he says it'll all work out fine, but he talks about it like it's only going to happen here, not out in the rest of world, too. I don't want this to be a dream.” She sighed. “It needs to be real.”

  Caroline glanced over at her sister. “And it's only real if it can work in California.”

  “Because that is my reality.”

  “He'll do it, you know. He'll follow you and make it work.”

  “I know,” she said. “I'm not ready for it to become real.”

  Her sister snorted. “Why?”

  “What if I lose him?” she whispered. “You know how fragile relationships are out in Hollywood. What if I do something to mess the whole thing up and we end up losing what made our relationship beautiful in the first place? I don't want to be another casualty, another statistic.”

  “Arial, no matter where you are, you're always gonna be runnin' that risk. What do they say, fifty percent or something like that?” Caroline raised an eyebrow, glancing again at her sister pointedly. “If you love each other, you'll make it work. You're a fighter, and so is he.”

  She closed her eyes. “What I'm scared of the most is that he's going to fight too hard. He kept himself in a relationship that made him miserable for years because he believed so strongly in not giving up. I don't want to be that for him, too.”

  “The fact you say you don't wanna be like that to him is a good sign you probably won't be. I don't know much about this Katie girl, but every time you, or him, talk about her, she leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

  “He talked to you about Katie?”

  “Oh, yeah! And how she didn't do a whole lot to show she cared about him. All self-serving and demanding. He didn't know better, though. Sure, he had you to show him how a real person loved another, but examples of functioning relationships are few and far between. It's one of the reasons I'm so glad for Mama and Daddy.” Caroline smiled. “I don't focus on all the people who don't make it. I focus on trying to be like the people who do.”

  Arial blinked. “You guys really talked a lot more than I thought.”

  “Well, what do you think we did whenever you were sleepin'?”

  “Not talk?”

  Her sister snorted. “Point is, I think you need to relax and talk to the guy.”

  “And I will. After I take some time to collect myself. I'm going to a party. That'll help me unwind. And then I'll be in the right headspace to have this kind of conversation. There's still a lot that isn't going to be pleasant about it. Like how he wants to stay here, and all of these other —”

  “What-if factors that you're kind of overreacting about,” Caroline said. “Just sayin'.” She parked outside of the airport at the drop-off. “Look, I understand you want some space from him to think about it and calm down before you engage in a talk that might not go well.” She hugged Arial. “Don't assume it's gonna go badly. Don't assume, period. Of all the things to be scared of, Bryce ain't one of them.”

  The hug surprised Arial, but she returned it, glad to have a bond and an understanding with her sister. Never in her wildest dreams would she ever have thought Caroline would be the one she'd connect with most.

  “Thank you,” Arial whispered. “I mean you lectured me, but you said the things I needed to hear for a change.”

  Caroline laughed. “Because I know you'd say those things to me. If I was in your shoes, I don't know what I would think. It'd be like Billy wanting to move into the city without consulting me first. I'd be pretty mad. Your future is for you to decide, and he needs to decide if he agrees with it or not. Just give him a chance to explain. He might have been a little overexcited.”

  “I promise I won't do anything stupid, and he and I will talk.” She let go of her sister. “I'll come back again soon.”

  “You’d better. Be safe.”

  “I will,” she said.

  Maybe that's part of my problem. I'm too safe. I think it's time for me to step out of my comfort zone a little.

  Chapter Twenty

  On the flight back to Los Angeles, Bryce had casually searched the plane for any sign of Arial. She couldn't be found. Either she was great at hiding, or had grabbed a different flight out. There were two within an hour and a half of each other. He'd picked the earlier one, thinking she would want to get back as soon as possible.

  Doesn't matter, he thought. I'm here, and she will be soon as well. It was a horribly early hour of the morning, and he was so tired he could barely stand. He hailed a cab back to his loft. The temptation to go straight to Arial's apartment and see if she was there had been great, but it wasn't practical. He also didn't know how she was going to react to such a gesture. Would she be flattered? Or would it push her further away? He was already coming off strong, and the last thing he needed to do was add to that by acting like a stalker. It was better for him to sleep it off, be coherent, and try to get hold of her first thing after he woke up.

  Exhausted, he unlocked the door to his loft and dragged himself to bed. The moment he lay down, his mind felt as awake as ever, despite his body's desperate need for sleep. He couldn't do it on the airplane; he'd been far too wound up inside. I'd feel a lot better if I had a text message or a voicemail or something from her. Bryce absolutely hated unresolved conflict.

  Closing his eyes briefly, he rolled onto his side, hoping that would help relieve the anxious knots in his gut. Instead, he saw the picture of his mother, and the sensation intensified. He picked up the photo and smiled.

  “Pretty sure you'd be happy with me,” he said. “You always told me to fight for the things I loved the most, right? And that the best way to win a woman over was patience, kindness, and honesty. I'm doing those things now. It's pretty scary.” Patience was the hardest one. When Bryce got excited, he didn't like to hold back. He always dove into everything head first. Which explains a lot about what happened with Katie and me.

  He shook his head and set the picture aside. Katie, who was still part of his problem, even if she was no longer involved. How could Arial think he was still in love with that woman? All he felt when he thought of his ex-girlfriend was a lot of regret, and he'd told himself once he would never do such a thing. The feeling couldn't be shaken, and it was all because he'd wasted so much time. Being with Katie had taught him a lot of things about himself. One being that no matter how hard he tried to make things right, there were some battles he wasn't meant to win. The other was that he didn't have to give up everything he wanted to be to make a relationship work. His significant other should want the same things he did. He thought Arial did, but now he wasn't so sure.

  “And I can't be sure if she won't talk to me.” He groaned. “Ugh, this is pathetic. I'm like a teenage girl pining over the telephone.” No amount of wishing and hoping would make his cell phone ring. “I need to sleep.”

  It didn't come easily, but it did come eventually. Everything would resolve itself when he woke up. That was the calming thought that lulled him to sleep.

  ****

  Arial contemplated calling Bryce, once her flight had landed, despite it being the middle of the night. It seemed like the courteous thing to do. He needed to know where she was and that she had gotten there safety. Or did he? We aren't a couple, yet. Does he need to know everything I'm doing? Still, if our situations were reversed, I'd like it if he told me. At the same time, what if he takes it as an invitation to call? I'm still not ready to talk to him about everything. I don't like so much negative tension between us, but I need a little more time.

  With that in mind, she pulled out her cell phone and sent him a text message. “I'm in L.A. Don't call me. I'll call you in a couple of days.” She nodded. That seemed like the perfect message to send to him. It communicated everything she wanted to sa
y: that she needed time still, but that they would talk. No matter how much she wanted to hear his voice, she couldn't cave to her desires. She refused to engage him in conversation until she was strong enough to stand her ground.

  Bryce had a way of turning her into putty in his hands. Not only was he tender with her, but he had dreams as big as hers. When he shared them, he made everything sound like a great idea. Not because he was manipulative, but because he was so passionate about what he believed. Sometimes it worked to her benefit to trust him and those passions. Singing at the fair had been a good thing. It got her out of her comfort zone, giving her a glimpse into the future of her career. Whatever dreams he had concocted in his head now, she didn't know if they were the same dreams as hers. They might have been close to being on the same page, but it was hard to be sure. She needed to strengthen her resolve to keep from following him around blindly.

  I did that back at the farm and nearly forgot who I was. Things felt better between her and her family, so in a way it had all paid off. But why should I have to give up one thing in order to have the other? Why can't I have both? It's not fair. She didn't ask others to give up their dreams for her.

  The party would get her back in the swing of things. She would be back to feeling like herself in no time, and hopefully she'd be able to forget about the empty hole left behind when she left Ohio. Was there any way she'd ever be able to find a happy balance and have all of the things she wanted? Possibly. For the time being she would focus on getting ready for Marcus's party. The first thing she would need to do for that was sleep.

  ****

  Bryce woke up groggy and unrested. When he glanced at his clock, he saw that it was much later in the day than he would have preferred. Nearly dinner time, actually. He groaned and rolled out of bed, wondering how he could have possibly slept for so long.

  He grabbed his phone. A smile crept onto his face when he saw there was a message from Arial. Opening it, he let out a soft sigh of relief when she said she was in fact in Los Angeles. Her not wanting him to call troubled him more than he anticipated, but she did say she would call him in a couple of days. She would never lead him on.