What is it, Uncle Harry?
HARRY
Go and do your lessons.
ELLEN
Edward, come in here at once.
EDWARD
What’s happened, Uncle Harry?
HARRY has moved aside. EDWARD follows him. ELLEN comes out.
HARRY
Go away. Go inside. Ellen!
ELLEN
Go inside, Edward. I shall tell your mother.
BETTY
Go inside, Edward at once. I shall tell your father.
CLIVE
Go inside, Edward. And Betty you go inside too.
BETTY, EDWARD and ELLEN go. MAUD comes out.
Go inside. And Ellen, you come outside.
ELLEN comes out.
Mr Bagley has something to say to you.
HARRY
Ellen. I don’t suppose you would marry me?
ELLEN
What if I said yes?
CLIVE
Run along now, you two want to be alone.
HARRY and ELLEN go out. JOSHUA brings CLIVE a drink.
JOSHUA
The governess and your wife, sir.
CLIVE
What’s that, Joshua?
JOSHUA
She talks of love to your wife, sir. I have seen them. Bad women.
CLIVE
Joshua, you go too far. Get out of my sight.
Scene Five
The verandah. A table with a white cloth. A wedding cake and a large knife. Bottles and glasses. JOSHUA is putting things on the table. EDWARD has the doll. JOSHUA sees him with it. He holds out his hand.
EDWARD gives him the doll. JOSHUA takes the knife and cuts the doll open and shakes the sawdust out of it. JOSHUA throws the doll under the table.
MAUD
Come along Edward, this is such fun.
Everyone enters, triumphal arch for HARRY and ELLEN.
Your mama’s wedding was a splendid occasion, Edward. I cried and cried.
ELLEN and BETTY go aside.
ELLEN
Betty, what happens with a man? I don’t know what to do.
BETTY
You just keep still.
ELLEN
And what does he do?
BETTY
Harry will know what to do.
ELLEN
And is it enjoyable?
BETTY
Ellen, you’re not getting married to enjoy yourself.
ELLEN
Don’t forget me, Betty.
ELLEN goes.
BETTY
I think my necklace has been stolen Clive. I did so want to wear it at the wedding.
EDWARD
It was Joshua. Joshua took it.
CLIVE
Joshua?
EDWARD
He did, he did, I saw him with it.
HARRY
Edward, that’s not true.
EDWARD
It is, it is.
HARRY
Edward, I’m afraid you took it yourself.
EDWARD
I did not.
HARRY
I have seen him with it.
CLIVE
Edward, is that true? Where is it? Did you take your mother’s necklace? And to try and blame Joshua, good God.
EDWARD runs off.
BETTY
Edward, come back. Have you got my necklace?
HARRY
I should leave him alone. He’ll bring it back.
BETTY
I wanted to wear it. I wanted to look my best at your wedding.
HARRY
You always look your best to me.
BETTY
I shall get drunk.
MRS SAUNDERS comes.
MRS SAUNDERS
The sale of my property is completed. I shall leave tomorrow.
CLIVE
That’s just as well. Whose protection will you seek this time?
MRS SAUNDERS
I shall go to England and buy a farm there. I shall introduce threshing machines.
CLIVE
Amazing spirit.
He kisses her. BETTY launches herself on MRS SAUNDERS. They fall to the ground.
Betty – Caroline – I don’t deserve this – Harry, Harry.
HARRY and CLIVE separate them. HARRY holding MRS SAUNDERS, CLIVE BETTY.
Mrs Saunders, how can you abuse my hospitality? How dare you touch my wife? You must leave here at once.
BETTY
Go away, go away. You are a wicked woman.
MAUD
Mrs Saunders, I am shocked. This is your hostess.
CLIVE
Pack your bags and leave the house this instant.
MRS SAUNDERS
I was leaving anyway. There’s no place for me here. I have made arrangements to leave tomorrow, and tomorrow is when I will leave. I wish you joy, Mr Bagley.
MRS SAUNDERS goes.
CLIVE
No place for her anywhere I should think. Shocking behaviour.
BETTY
Oh Clive, forgive me, and love me like you used to.
CLIVE
Were you jealous my dove? My own dear wife!
MAUD
Ah, Mr Bagley, one flesh, you see.
EDWARD comes back with the necklace.
CLIVE
Good God, Edward, it’s true.
EDWARD
I was minding it for Mama because of the troubles.
CLIVE
Well done, Edward, that was very manly of you. See Betty? Edward was protecting his mama’s jewels from the rebels. What a hysterical fuss over nothing. Well done, little man. It is quite safe now. The bad men are dead. Edward, you may do up the necklace for Mama.
EDWARD does up BETTY’s necklace, supervised by CLIVE. JOSHUA is drinking steadily. ELLEN comes back.
MAUD
Ah, here’s the bride. Come along, Ellen, you don’t cry at your own wedding, only at other people’s.
CLIVE
Now, speeches, speeches. Who is going to make a speech? Harry, make a speech.
HARRY
I’m no speaker. You’re the one for that.
ALL
Speech, speech.
HARRY
My dear friends – what can I say – the empire – the family – the married state to which I have always aspired – your shining example of domestic bliss – my great good fortune in winning Ellen’s love – happiest day of my life.
Applause.
CLIVE
Cut the cake, cut the cake.
HARRY and ELLEN take the knife to cut the cake. HARRY steps on the doll under the table.
HARRY
What’s this?
ELLEN
Oh look.
BETTY
Edward.
EDWARD
It was Joshua. It was Joshua. I saw him.
CLIVE
Don’t tell lies again.
He hits EDWARD across the side of the head.
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking –
Cheers.
Harry, my friend. So brave and strong and supple. Ellen, from ’neath her veil so shyly peeking. I wish you joy. A toast – the happy couple. Dangers are past. Our enemies are killed. Put your arm around her, Harry, have a kiss – All murmuring of discontent is stilled. Long may you live in peace and joy and bliss.
While he is speaking, JOSHUA raises his gun to shoot CLIVE. Only EDWARD sees. He does nothing to warn the others. He put his hands over his ears. BLACK.
ACT TWO
Scene One
GERRY
The train from Victoria to Clapham still has those compartments without a corridor. As soon as I got on the platform I saw who I wanted. Slim hips, tense shoulders, trying not to look at anyone. I put my hand on my packet just long enough so that he couldn’t miss it. The train came in. You don’t want to get in too fast or some straight dumbo might get in with you. I sat by the window. I couldn’t see where the fuck he’d got to. Then just as the whist
le went he got in. Great. It’s a six-minute journey so you can’t start anything you can’t finish. I stared at him and he unzipped his flies. Then he stopped. So I stood up and took my cock out. He took me in his mouth and shut his eyes tight. He was sort of mumbling it about as if he wasn’t sure what to do, so I said, A bit tighter son and he said Sorry and then got on with it. He was jerking off with his left hand, and I could see he’d got a fair-sized one. I wished he’d keep still so I could see his watch. I was getting really turned on. What if we pulled into Clapham Junction now. Of course by the time we sat down again the train was just slowing up. I felt wonderful. Then he started talking. It’s better if nothing is said. Once you find he’s a librarian in Walthamstow with a special interest in science fiction and lives with his aunt, then forget it. He said I hope you don’t think I do this all the time. I said I hope you will from now on. He said he would if I was on the train, but why don’t we go out for a meal? I opened the door before the train stopped. I told him I lived with somebody. I don’t want to know. He was jogging sideways to keep up. He said What’s your phone number, you’re my ideal physical type, what sign of the zodiac are you? Where do you live? Where are you going now? It’s not fair. I saw him at Victoria a couple of months later and I went straight down to the end of the platform and I picked up somebody really great who never said a word, just smiled.
Winter afternoon. Inside the hut of a one o’clock club, a children’s play centre in a park, VICTORIA and LIN, mothers. CATHY, LIN’s daughter, aged 4, played by a man, clinging to LIN. VICTORIA reading a book.
CATHY
Yum yum bubblegum.
Stick it up your mother’s bum.
When it’s brown
Pull it down
Yum yum bubblegum.
LIN
Like your shoes, Victoria.
CATHY
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.
Silly Jack, he should jump higher,
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
LIN
Cathy, do stop. Do a painting.
CATHY
You do a painting.
LIN
You do a painting.
CATHY
What shall I paint?
LIN
Paint a house.
CATHY
No.
LIN
Princess.
CATHY
No.
LIN
Pirates.
CATHY
Already done that.
LIN
Spacemen.
CATHY
I never paint spacemen. You know I never.
LIN
Paint a car crash and blood everywhere.
CATHY
No, don’t tell me. I know what to paint.
LIN
Go on then. You need an apron, where’s an apron. Here.
CATHY
Don’t want an apron.
LIN
Lift up your arms. There’s a good girl.
CATHY
I don’t want to paint.
LIN
Don’t paint. Don’t paint.
CATHY
What shall I do? You paint. What shall I do Mum?
VICTORIA
There’s nobody on the big bike, Cathy, quick.
CATHY goes out. VICTORIA is watching the children playing outside.
VICTORIA
Tommy, it’s Jimmy’s gun. Let him have it. What the hell.
She goes on reading. She reads while she talks.
LIN
I don’t know how you can concentrate.
VICTORIA
You have to or you never do anything.
LIN
Yeah well. It’s really warm in here, that’s one thing. It’s better than standing out there. I got chilblains last winter.
VICTORIA
It is warm.
LIN
I suppose Tommy doesn’t let you read much. I expect he talks to you while you’re reading.
VICTORIA
Yes, he does.
LIN
I didn’t get very far with that book you lent me.
VICTORIA
That’s all right.
LIN
I was glad to have it, though. I sit with it on my lap while I’m watching telly. Well, Cathy’s off. She’s frightened I’m going to leave her. It’s the babyminder didn’t work out when she was two, she still remembers. You can’t get them used to other people if you’re by yourself. It’s no good blaming me. She clings round my knees every morning up the nursery and they don’t say anything but they make you feel you’re making her do it. But I’m desperate for her to go to school. I did cry when I left her the first day. You wouldn’t, you’re too fucking sensible. You’ll call the teacher by her first name. I really fancy you.
VICTORIA
What?
LIN
Put your book down will you for five minutes. You didn’t hear a word I said.
VICTORIA
I don’t get much time to myself.
LIN
Do you ever go to the movies?
VICTORIA
Tommy’s very funny who he’s left with. My mother babysits sometimes.
LIN
Your husband could babysit.
VICTORIA
But then we couldn’t go to the movies.
LIN
You could go to the movies with me.
VICTORIA
Oh I see.
LIN
Couldn’t you?
VICTORIA
Well yes, I could.
LIN
Friday night?
VICTORIA
What film are we talking about?
LIN
Does it matter what film?
VICTORIA
Of course it does.
LIN
You choose then. Friday night.
CATHY comes in with gun, shoots them saying kiou kiou kiou, and runs off again.
Not in a foreign language, OK. You don’t go to the movies to read.
LIN watches the children playing outside.
Don’t hit him, Cathy, kill him. Point the gun, kiou, kiou, kiou. That’s the way.
VICTORIA
They’ve just banned war toys in Sweden.
LIN
The kids’ll just hit each other more.
VICTORIA
Well, psychologists do differ in their opinions as to whether or not aggression is innate.
LIN
Yeah?
VICTORIA
I’m afraid I do let Tommy play with guns and just hope he’ll get it out of his system and not end up in the army.
LIN
I’ve got a brother in the army.
VICTORIA
Oh I’m sorry. Whereabouts is he stationed?
LIN
Belfast.
VICTORIA
Oh dear.
LIN
I’ve got a friend who’s Irish and we went on a Troops Out march. Now my dad won’t speak to me.
VICTORIA
I don’t get on too well with my father either.
LIN
And your husband? How do you get on with him?
VICTORIA
Oh, fine. Up and down. You know. Very well. He helps with the washing up and everything.
LIN
I left mine two years ago. He let me keep Cathy and I’m grateful for that.
VICTORIA
You shouldn’t be grateful.
LIN
I’m a lesbian.
VICTORIA
You still shouldn’t be grateful.
LIN
I’m grateful he didn’t hit me harder than he did.
VICTORIA
I suppose I’m very lucky, with Martin.
LIN
Cloud Nine Page 6
