Tess Awakening

by Andres Mann

  Jake’s car arrived and Tess immediately recognized that the place was the scene of a gun battle. She barely waited for Jake to stop the car and jumped off with an automatic rifle in her hands and started to fire at the two men who were shooting. Amir and Kemal took cover behind rusty old farm equipment and returned fire toward Tess. Bullets whizzed past her head, so she hit the dirt, landing on her stomach. Now Amir saw his chance to eliminate Jake, who was inexplicably still in the Land Rover, apparently attempting to remove something from the back seat. Probably looking for his weapon, Amir thought. He reloaded his machine gun and sprayed the car with bullets.

  Jake grabbed the baby and managed to get out of the car which was being riddled by projectiles. He kept clutching little Morgan, trying to protect him.

  Now Tess stood up and resumed firing, forcing Amir and Kemal to take cover inside the house. Carmen ran toward her, wearing only pants and an olive green military bra. She now looked like a Greek Harpy, vicious, cruel and violent, her hair flying and her countenance terrifying. “They shot Nicola, Tess; let’s get them.

  Jake’s men arrived, and he handed the baby to one of them. He then signaled to the other three men to follow him. They saw that Tess and Carmen were firing at the house. He quickly joined them. Tess gave him the bad news: “Jake, they shot Nicola, he is in the barn. “

  “I have already called the police and the ambulance,” Jake said while loading his weapon. They looked around for Carmen, but she had already managed to get inside the house, taking advantage of a momentary lull in the firing. She correctly assumed that the two men inside were reloading their weapons. She barged in and shot Kemal in the leg. He screamed and dropped his gun. Amir fired at her, but she dodged and fired back, missing him. Amir then ran toward a large window and jumped out, shattering the glass. He managed to roll outside, bleeding from several cuts.

  “Hello, Amir.” Tess appeared behind him, her gun pointed at his head. “You know what to do. Drop your weapon and get your hands up behind your head.” Amir turned around and flashed a smile. Tess took a shot and blew the rifle out of his hands. He raised his hands in surrender.

  Jake’s men surrounded Amir. Jake then rushed inside to assist Carmen. He entered and saw Carmen standing over the wounded Kemal. She saw Jake come in and extended her arm with an open palm toward him, signaling him to stay away. She was no longer a woman; she had turned into an avenging angel, a Valkyrie like Tess, choosing the soldiers who were going to die in battle. She was seething and wanted revenge. Kemal had shot Nicola, and she was going to make him pay.

  Deliberately, she drew her pistol from the hip holster and shot Kemal in the knee. Kemal screamed. “It hurts, doesn’t it?” Carmen visage was frightening. She fired another shot and shattered his other knee. Then she shot his left arm, almost severing it from his body. She repeated the performance on the right arm. Then she stood above him and shot him in the head. Blood spewed all over her. She put five more shots into his body, discharging the clip of ammunition. She was now drenched in blood. Jake was momentarily stunned but understood why Carmen had unleashed her anger in this way. Nicola meant everything to her.

  Jake tried to bring her out of the house, but she resisted, not satisfied that she had done enough damage. “Carmen, we need to take care of Nicola. The ambulance and the police are here.” Carmen snapped out of her murderous trance and ran to the barn. The ambulance was in front, emergency lights flashing. She ran inside and saw medics attending to Nicola. One of them was on the cell phone, talking to the Hospital ER, requesting immediate emergency surgery as soon as they arrived. Carmen went to Nicola, but he was not conscious.

  “How bad is he?” she asked the medic that was working on Nicola.

  “Pretty bad; if you hadn’t applied a compress to his chest when he was first shot, he would be gone by now. He has a collapsed lung.”

  The medics heaved Nicola on a stretcher and rushed him to the ambulance. Carmen insisted on going with them. They put her on the front seat. She had the presence of mind to apologize to the driver for smearing blood all over the vehicle.

  Jake went back outside, and the man who was taking care of the baby approached him, blood on his chest and a haunted look in his face. Jake did not wait for him to speak. He ran to the Land Rover and picked up little Morgan in his arms. The baby was listless. Oozing blood stained his little sweater. Jake screamed, “No, no, no!”

  Tess heard him and left her men in charge of guarding Amir. She rushed to the bullet-riddled car and came upon an awful scene: Jake holding the baby in his arms, sobbing.

  She rushed to Jake’s side and took the child away from him. The horror of holding her bloody son was unfathomable. She kept touching the baby, lightly shaking him, wanting desperately to wake him up.

  Jake came to her and tried to embrace her, but she angrily rebuffed his gesture. She was keening, holding the baby to her chest, hoping against hope that he was still whole, healthy and happy.

  “Tess, a piece of shrapnel hit the baby when Amir shot at the car.”

  Tess froze. She was now frenzied with grief and anger. She walked over to Amir, now flanked by two police officers. She stopped in front of him, holding the bloody child in her arms. Amir saw her approaching and his eyes opened wide, hardly comprehending what she displayed in front of him.

  “Well done, Amir. Is this what you wanted to do?” Tess spoke to him through her tears. “You couldn’t have your son and you would not allow me to have him, so you killed him? Are you pleased now?”

  Amir fell to his knees, the magnitude of what he saw hitting him like a freight train. “It can’t be. My son is just sleeping, he is fine!” He kept repeating the same phrase over and over. He fell to his knees, his mind refusing to accept what had happened. “I did not know he was in the car.”

  Tess slapped him in the face, then she handed him the dead baby. “Here is what’s left of your son, Amir. Smear his blood on your face: Blood of your blood.”

  Jake had recovered from his shock and realized that Tess was now ready to unleash her anger on Amir. She tore the dead child from Amir’s arms and handed him to one of the men. Jake feared that she intended to kill Amir in front of the police. He got behind her and tried to restrain her. She reacted violently, tossing him aside.

  “Now I am going to kill you, Amir.” She approached him but was stopped by the two police officers aiming guns at her.

  “Stand back, Ma’am,” one of them said. Now Tess wanted to kill everything in her path, and would have done so if it weren’t for Jake restraining her with all his might.

  “Tess, if you kill him now, they will charge you with murder. It’s not worth it. Let the law handle this.” Tess continued to struggle violently, through tears and despair, not caring about the consequences of her actions. She just wanted to see Amir dead regardless of the cost to her and her family. Jake would not let her go, and the cops hurriedly took Amir away. They both fell to their knees in the dirt, holding each other for dear life, overcome with devastating grief.

  Chapter 80

  Recovery

  Amir was thrown in jail and was allowed one call to his lawyers. He didn’t do it. The cops roughly shoved him into a cell and locked it. He fell on the bench, staring at the bars with a blank, lifeless look. He was horrified beyond reason. He had killed his own son, flesh of his flesh, his heir, and his pride. He emitted a loud cry of agony. This was not supposed to happen. He thought that the child was still in New York with his grandfather. He would have never shot at Jake’s car if he had known that the child was inside. He now understood why Jake was frantically rummaging on the back seat; he was trying to bring the baby out the car, to evade his fusillade peppering the car. It was his own shooting that killed the child. This was not supposed to happen. All he wanted was to take the baby away so he could fulfill the destiny that he had planned for him.

  Jake and Tess had thwarted him again, but at a tragic cost. Now his son was gone, and it was his own fault. His obsessive desire to prevail a
gainst Tess at all costs backfired, shattering his world. The full weight of his failure on all fronts now weighed on him. He had lost Tess and his son. Life was not worth living now. He stood up and started banging his head against the iron bars, trying to punish himself for having created such horror. He kept hitting the bars until the cops restrained him with handcuffs and tied him to the bed. His head was a bloody mess. Lying on his back, he continued screaming in a language nobody understood. The depths of his guilt gnawed at his stomach and soul. He continued to inveigh at nothing in particular until a medic gave him a shot to calm him down. Amir finally passed out and was transported to a secure area of the town’s hospital. He was confined to the bed with straps and two guards were posted at the door.

  At the hospital, Carmen was still coated in blood. The staff asked her to clean up and take a shower. When she was done, one of the nurses brought her a set of disposable scrubs to wear.

  Carmen waited in the lounge until the surgeon came out. He told her that Nicola was in critical condition, but there was a good chance he would recover. She was immensely relieved but still angry as hell. Nicola was the love of her life. He had helped her come out of her shell, mitigating her hostility toward the world; he had worked with her to help overcome the traumas of her childhood and had loved her with gentle passion. He was the only man in the world she trusted. She could not conceive not being with him. She now was hopeful that the surgeon was right. Nicola would get better, and they will have a life together.

  She sat on a stuffed chair, finally calming down. Her phone rang. It was Jake inquiring about Nicola. He also told her what happened to the baby. Carmen almost went into shock. She thought of Tess and became terrified about what the loss of her child would do to her. Tess had relentlessly scoured several countries to get the baby back, only to lose him in this awful way. It was horrifying. Carmen held her head between her hands, crying for herself, but mostly crying for Tess, her dearest friend who now faced a grief that was hard to imagine.

  She walked out to get some fresh air and ran into two policemen. They were talking about relieving two other men that were guarding a prisoner. Carmen perked up. She immediately suspected that the prisoner was Amir. She went back into the building and waited until a nurse opened the secure door. She sneaked inside before the door closed automatically. The guards were talking to the men that were relieving them and did not pay attention to Carmen because she was wearing hospital scrubs, assuming that she was one of the caregivers. Carmen slipped into Amir’s room. She stared at him, his face bandaged, blood still oozing through the gauze. A nurse walked in. “What are you doing here, Miss? This is a secure area.”

  Carmen flashed her trademark smile. “I work here.”

  “You still can’t be here, you must leave.”

  “I know this man; just give me a minute please and I will go, I promise.”

  The nurse smiled, charmed by the little woman. “Only one minute, okay?”

  Carmen waited for the nurse to leave. Amir was waking up, trying to understand where he was. He started to talk. “My son, forgive me. Please forgive me. Forgive me.” He kept saying the same thing, over and over. Carmen touched his arm. Amir tried to focus his eyes and did not seem to recognize Carmen. “Amir, you know who I am. You are responsible for everything bad that has happened. I am tempted to break your neck, but I think it is better to let you stew in your misery. You killed your own son, and you will have to live with your guilt for the rest of you miserable life.

  Amir was not listening. All he could say is “Forgive me, forgive me.”

  “That will be a cold day in hell,” Carmen said as she left.

  She went to see Nicola, who was still unconscious, then met one of Jakes’ men downstairs. He drove her to see Tess. Carmen could not think of anything that she could say to provide comfort to Tess. All she could do is to be there and try to help her through the grief.

  Chapter 81

  Grief and Regrets

  Jake was going through his private hell. He deeply felt the loss of little Morgan. He loved the beautiful child as if he was his own son, delighting in playing with him until it was time to rest. Tess once found Jake napping on his back with the sleeping baby propped on his bent legs, facing his dad, perfectly cradled and comfortable. Jake could not keep from crying. On top of his own grief, he had to worry about Tess, whose profound anger and resentment, common emotions of the bereaved, had surfaced with a vengeance.

  Tess was struggling to avoid depression but kept protesting against a cruel, unfair and incomprehensible fate. This was a reaction to frustration—the source of which could not be removed, so she felt trapped and helpless. She started to project her anger onto Jake and even Carmen. She went into verbal outbursts, sarcasm, and unreasonable or persistent demands of her subordinates. Doctors explained to Jake that her behavior was an understandable response to a traumatic situation and not necessarily a personal attack.

  Jake, Carmen, and General Turner made every effort to listen to Tess empathetically and resist the temptation to return anger with anger or becoming defensive when she made baseless accusations. Worse, her anger started to turn inward, replaced by silent bitterness, indifference, apathy, aggression, and ultimately, depression.

  Tess then succumbed to guilt feelings, now searching for the cause of her loss. She kept asking “What did I do wrong? “Could I have done anything differently? If only I hadn’t brought the baby with us and left him with my dad.”

  The doctors could do little other than suggest patience. Tess’s behavior was explained as a part of the grief process. This stage is remedied if people listen to the bereaved person and help her express their whole range of feelings. Listening to feelings without giving advice is the best helping strategy, they added.

  Jake worked hard to help Tess. He kept embracing her even if sometimes she wanted to be left alone. He wrapped himself around her at night, doing everything he could to provide comfort and a sense of security. He also shared his own sense of loss with her.

  Carmen also sat with Tess for prolonged periods of time. She just listened to her working through her agony and despair. She knew that no amount of talk or platitudes would help. Listening was the best medicine.

  Carmen eventually felt that Tess was still mired in self-pity, so she took a risk. “Tess, I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I know that if you must get back to who you were.

  Let me tell you a story. When I was fourteen in South Los Angeles, I was raped twice. The first time I was a virgin. The man didn’t care. He hurt me so much that I wanted to die. After that, I felt that my life was not worth living. I actually felt guilty, believing that perhaps I had brought the abuse on myself.

  Pops, my great grandfather, took action to prevent me from sinking into an abyss of despair. The first thing he told me was that I should never allow the actions of others to dictate the direction of my life. Rather, he added, it was important that I addressed the problem in such a way that such abominations would not happen again.

  He took me over to the gym and taught me the rudiments of boxing. Then he paid a couple of experienced guys to teach me martial arts. I worked at this for months. I developed some confidence, but I was still scared.”

  “One day, as I was walking toward Pop’s house, I froze in fear. One of the men that had raped me accosted me. He wanted a repeat performance.

  There was no one around that could help me. Then it happened: my brain spun out and unleashed a rage so intense that I could not recognize myself. I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me and I wanted to make the damage permanent. Then I did the unthinkable: I ran toward him.

  He tried to grab me, so I hit him in the solar plexus. Then I remembered my training. With my small fist, I hit the man on the right side of the neck, his carotid artery. That stopped him. Then I broke the ultimate martial arts taboo: I spun around and jumped into the air and kicked him in the left kidney. He fell to the ground, choking but still swearing he was going to kill me.

>   He tried to get up and I kicked him between the legs. Not once, but three times. That took care of him. He would not be able to use his precious tool for a very long time.

  My rage still was not spent. I kicked him in the face repeatedly and finally walked away, only to see Pops sitting on a chair on the porch, smoking his pipe, having witnessed the whole scene.

  I was shocked. I asked him why he didn’t help me. He just said that I could not count on him being there for me forever and that it was important for me to handle such situations on my own. ‘Don’t feel sorry for yourself, just get even and take steps to make sure that no one will ever be able to hurt you again.’

  He got up to walk into the house and turned around. “Today, you turned from a little kitten to an eagle. I am proud of you,” he said.”

  “That’s a great story, Carmen,” said Tess. “I am not sure that it’s the same thing. You haven’t lost a child.”

  “Tess, I almost lost Nicola. He is not my child, but for me, he is the most important person in the world after you. You are entitled to mourn your loss, and I am sure you will continue to hurt for the rest of your life, but you can’t allow Amir to ruin your life. You are surrounded by people that love you. It’s time that you get your life back.”

  Tess took the advice to heart. “Carmen, I cannot express my appreciation enough for being with me and for taking enormous risks to bring the fight to Amir.”

  “Tess, when I was in Chiavari with Nicola, I learned that the best way to address misfortune is to come together as a team, help people shovel mud away from the streets and put it back on the trucks to take it away. I have also learned that we can survive bad storms and flooding if we remain creative and take appropriate bold action. We are the ultimate team. I will always watch your back as I am sure you will watch mine.” Tess hugged her.