Behind in the Count: A Portland Pioneers Novel

by Micah K. Chaplin

  “I’m DHing, and I won’t get another turn at bat today,” Reid said. “I’m good.”

  But his glare belied his words. Zella started to feel nervous as he walked toward her.

  “Do you even know what you did to him?” Reid asked angrily.

  “Reid,” Kate said, standing and putting herself between the two.

  “I do and I’m sorry,” Zella said, not backing down against the outfielder. “But I had to, Reid.”

  “I know, I heard most of what you just told Kate,” Reid said. “I still don’t condone it.”

  “You don’t have to,” Zella said. “I understand if you hate me. I expect it, actually. You’re Derek’s best friend.”

  “Damn right I am, so I’ve been staying at his place every night since Saturday, not leaving him alone because I’m terrified of what he’ll do,” Reid said. “He’s worse than I’ve ever seen him. He went from top of the world to rock bottom in a split second. All because of you. And to think I encouraged him to go after you. I had no idea you’d rip his heart out.”

  “I know, I know. But he won’t do anything stupid,” Zella said. “I know him. He’s stronger than that.”

  “He was,” Reid said. “Until you. Now, there’s no telling if he can stay straight.”

  “He can and he will,” Zella said.

  “You better hope so,” Reid said. “If he loses his contract or his daughter, that’s on you.”

  “Reid, stop,” Kate said.

  Zella didn’t know if it was Kate’s firm tone or if he was truly done yelling at her, but Reid turned and left. Zella’s tears had resumed during his tirade. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t said to herself over the last few days, but it still hurt hearing it from someone else – especially when that someone was Derek’s best friend.

  “I’m sorry he did that,” Kate said, turning and pulling Zella into a hug.

  “It’s fine, I deserved it,” Zella said.

  “No you didn’t,” Kate said. “Reid is just very protective of Derek.”

  “I know, and I’m glad Derek has him,” Zella said. “He might not be here without Reid.”

  They heard the unmistakable sounds of the game ending above them.

  “Let’s get you somewhere private to hide out for a while and then I’ll drive you home,” Kate said.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Zella said.

  “I want to,” Kate said. “Trust me. If anyone can relate to heartbreak over a ballplayer, it’s me.”

  Zella didn’t ask further questions or argue. She just let Kate lead her into a tiny equipment room down the hall. It wasn’t the most comfortable of places, but at least she could be alone for a while and try and get herself together while Kate finished up her business for the day.

  “What did you say to her?” Derek asked.

  Reid had called him after the game and told him about the video board birthday wish. Derek groaned, wishing he’d remembered to cancel it. But that wasn’t the most unsettling part of Reid’s call. His friend confessed he’d overheard Zella telling Kate about their breakup. The real reason she called it quits. Reid went on to say he gave Zella a significant piece of his mind.

  “I let her know how bad she messed up,” Reid said. “I told her I’ve never seen you this upset. I let her know it’d be on her if you made a mistake and lost baseball and Brynn.”

  “You didn’t …,” Derek said.

  “Sure, I did. It’s the truth,” Reid said.

  “No, it’s not,” Derek said. “First of all, I’m not going to make a mistake. Yes, I’m upset, but I’m not going to relapse over this. And if I did – which I won’t – that would be on me, not Zella.”

  “Why are you defending her after what she did?” Reid asked.

  “Because I understand why she did it,” Derek said. “Her parents are right. I am a risk.”

  “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her,” Reid said.

  “You don’t know her well enough to know that,” Derek said.

  “I saw how you treated her,” Reid said. “No one could have been better to her.”

  “Maybe,” Derek said. “But her parents lost a son to addiction. And Zella lost a brother. I understand why they don’t want her falling in love with an addict.”

  “You’re a recovering addict, and they’re too late anyway,” Reid said.

  “What do you mean?” Derek asked.

  “Even though I was yelling at that girl, she just kept saying how she trusted you and believed in you,” Reid said. “She’s already in love with you.”

  “You really think so?” Derek asked.

  “I have no doubt about it,” Reid said. “I hate her right now, but she loves you.”

  “Please don’t hate her,” Derek said. “I know you think you’re being a good friend by doing that, but I don’t want anyone to hate her. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone the reason we broke up.”

  “Well, too bad. None of the guys will talk to her. Erika even said she won’t hang out with her anymore,” Reid said. “She’s pretty much blacklisted around here.”

  Derek sighed. He didn’t want this for Zella, but he knew there was no use in arguing with Reid about it. At least not over the phone. He’d deal with it when he saw him in person. Maybe Reid would cool down by then.

  “So, your hearing is tomorrow, right?” Reid asked.

  “Yep,” Derek said. “Bright and early at eight.”

  “Let me know what happens. I’ll be thinking of you,” Reid said.

  “Thanks,” Derek said. “I’ll keep you posted.”

  Derek hung up and stared at his phone for a few moments. His first instinct was to text Zella and apologize for Reid, but he wasn’t sure that was a good idea. Before today, she hadn’t been at a single game since Saturday, which he knew wasn’t like her. Clearly, she didn’t want to see him, so she probably didn’t want to hear from him either.

  Just as he told Reid, he understood why she ended things. He didn’t like it, but he got it. Her parents were just protecting her from a repeat of pain she’d been through once before. He didn’t blame them for that. He couldn’t blame them. He’d probably do the same for Brynn if he were in their shoes. There was no chance he’d let his little girl date someone like him. So he couldn’t expect Mr. and Mrs. Hansen to allow it for Zella.

  But he still missed her.

  He’d grown accustomed to talking to her every day for the month they were together, even if only by text. And now it’d been five days since they’d spoken. And it felt like the longest five days of his life. Each day, he replayed that last conversation in her apartment. He wondered if he should have fought harder, if he should have disclosed less about his past, if he should have disclosed more about how he felt about her. He definitely wished he had kissed her one more time. That memory might have made up for the others from their last moments together.

  Chapter Eleven

  With thoughts of Zella plaguing him and his anxiety about the hearing rising, Derek didn’t sleep very well that night. Then again, he’d gotten used to functioning on low sleep over the past week. He yawned as he dressed in his best suit and went down to the kitchen, where his parents were waiting with breakfast.

  “I saw the Pioneers won yesterday,” Ken said. “Reid had quite the game.”

  “Oh yeah?” Derek asked.

  “Four-for-four with eight RBI,” Ken said. “Doesn’t get much better than that.”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty good,” Derek said.

  “I heard you on the phone with Reid last night, so I figured you knew,” Linda said.

  “I did talk to Reid, but I guess the game didn’t come up,” Derek said.

  “I guess not,” Linda said.

  Silence prevailed for a few moments as Ken continued reading the paper and Linda brought over a fresh slice of toast for Derek.

  “Who’s Zella?” she asked.

  “What?” he asked, looking up at his mother.

  “I didn’t mean to e
avesdrop last night, but when you were talking to Reid, I heard you say her name a few times,” Linda said. “So who is she?”

  “Oh. She’s just a girl,” Derek said.

  “Are you seeing her?” Ken asked, lowering the paper.

  “I was,” Derek said. “But I’m not anymore.”

  “What happened?” Ken asked.

  “Nothing. It just didn’t work out,” Derek said.

  “That’s a shame,” Ken said.

  “We weren’t together long, so it’s no big deal,” Derek said.

  “Well, it’s her loss,” Linda said.

  Derek didn’t want to tell his parents why Zella broke up with him. And he definitely didn’t want to let them know how hard he’d fallen for her or that he’d seriously considered introducing her to them. He couldn’t afford to think about Zella right now. He needed to have his mind on another girl.

  An hour later, he was sitting in a courtroom, telling a judge why he wanted more time with his daughter. Why he deserved more time with his daughter. Despite everything else going on, he felt one hundred percent confident and focused as he spoke about his commitment to his recovery and his devotion to Brynn. Jennie had advised him to go ahead and bring up his addiction battle during his own statement. She had faced Keely’s attorney, Ben, in court a number of times and knew he would not hold back. As supports for Derek’s testimony, Jennie presented letters of support from Dr. Olsen, Kate Marks, and Reid Benjamin. The judge read each one aloud, and Derek had a hard time keeping the emotion off his face as he listened to the words for the first time. It was humbling to hear the depth of their support.

  As predicted, Ben wasted no time bringing up Derek’s history. He zeroed in on the days after Brynn’s birth and tried to inject some skepticism about Derek’s change. Moreover, he insinuated Derek was not capable of caring for Brynn as he had not been around to help raise her and thus didn’t understand the needs of a child. Derek wanted to speak up and argue, but Jennie’s hand on his arm kept him quiet.

  After both sides had presented their arguments and visitation proposals, the judge asked for time to deliberate.

  Derek went into the hallway with his parents, Mike, and Bruna. The group attempted to keep the mood light, talking eagerly about their upcoming trip to see Derek pitch in his next game. As hard as he tried to be involved in the conversation, Derek couldn’t focus. Every time a door creaked, he looked up to see if it was an official letting them know the judge was ready. He was fidgety and at one point, finally and reluctantly excused himself to use the restroom. When he returned, Mike was standing alone in the hallway.

  “They’re ready for us,” his brother said.

  Derek nodded and they went into the small courtroom. He went back to the seat beside his attorney and listened as the judge thanked them for their thorough and detailed arguments.

  “I understand Mr. Beaman’s desire to play a larger role in his daughter’s life and I certainly respect the steps he has taken to correct his past mistakes. I also understand Mrs. Tate’s concerns about his capabilities as a parent and the toll of travel on the child,” the judge said. “It is after a great deal of consideration that I issue my decision. Mr. Beaman will be allowed visits with the child once every eight weeks, with supervision by his parents or another designated party as needed. In one year, we will revisit the agreement to evaluate if more frequent visits are appropriate.”

  Derek stared straight ahead as the judgment sank in. He’d lost. The judge had chosen Keely’s schedule over his. He hadn’t even issued a compromise of every six weeks. Nope. Derek would have to wait two months between visits with Brynn.

  “We can still appeal,” Jennie said, leaning over. “I can get another judge and we can try again.”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “That will just delay my visits with her even more. I haven’t seen her since March, and even though I don’t like the agreement, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  “Are you sure?” Jennie asked him.

  Derek nodded. “I’m sure.”

  He stood, ready to leave with his family. As he turned, he looked over to the other side of the courtroom. Keely and her husband stood with her parents. Brynn was in her grandmother’s arms, where she’d been the entire morning. She’d been sleeping earlier, but now she was awake and looking around.

  “Daddy,” she said as soon as her eyes landed on him.

  She pointed at him then too, just in case anyone was confused about who inspired her outburst. To Derek’s surprise, Keely’s mother brought Brynn over and handed her to him. He hugged her and kissed her cheek.

  “Daddy’s sad,” Brynn said.

  “I am a little sad,” he agreed. “But only because I missed you. I’m happy now.”

  “Happy,” she said, smiling and clapping.

  Derek couldn’t help but smile at that. Besides, he didn’t want Brynn to see his sadness. He needed to be strong around her.

  “You can keep her for the next few days if you want.”

  Derek looked up and saw Keely had approached them.

  “Sure. That’d be good,” he said, his tone flat.

  He was angry with her over the things her attorney had said about him and the outcome of the hearing. But he wasn’t going to let that show right now. Not in front of their daughter. And not in front of everyone else still in the room. That wouldn’t help his case in the future.

  “Brent went to get her things,” Keely said softly.

  “Great,” Derek said. “He can give them to Mike.”

  He didn’t want to be near his ex-wife’s new husband. He didn’t want to be near Keely at the moment either, so he turned and began walking out with Brynn.

  “Derek, I’m sorry,” Keely called after him.

  Derek handed Brynn to his mother and turned back around to face Keely. He waited until Linda disappeared into the hallway before speaking.

  “You’re not sorry,” he said. “You didn’t even flinch when your attorney was ripping into me. And clearly you didn’t tell him how good I’ve been at taking care of Brynn the times you’ve let me have her. No. You let him make me look like a terrible father, and you know I’m not. I made my mistakes with you, but I’ve changed, and you know it. But you don’t care. You got what you wanted. So save the apologies, Keely. You don’t mean it, and I don’t want to hear it.”

  “But, I …,” Keely said, reaching out to Derek as he turned to go.

  “Save it,” Bruna said, speaking up as she stepped between them. “He said he doesn’t believe you, Keely. And, honestly, after hearing all those things you let your attorney say about him, I don’t blame him for not wanting to listen to you anymore. You won today, but Derek is a good father, and he’s going to prove it over the next year. Just watch.”

  “Thatta girl,” Ken said, wrapping his arm around Bruna to follow Derek out of the courtroom.

  Linda, Brynn, and Mike were in the hallway along with Keely’s parents and Brent. Mike had his arms full of Brynn’s things.

  “Let’s go,” Derek said. “I’m not going to waste any more of my time with her in this place.”

  While they settled Brynn’s car seat in Ken and Linda’s car, Ken filled Linda and Mike in on Bruna’s little speech. Mike responded by kissing his girlfriend soundly. In his rush to get away from Keely, Derek had only heard part of what Bruna said, so the replay helped him a little too. As soon as Mike let go of her, Derek pulled her into a hug.

  “Thank you,” he said. “I know you don’t know me very well, but thank you.”

  “We just met today, but I’ve been listening to Mike talk about you for months,” Bruna said. “I know what kind of man you are, Derek. You deserved better than what you got today.”

  “Better than what he’s gotten this whole week,” Mike said.

  Everyone gave Mike a curious look.

  “First Zella dumped you and now this,” Mike elaborated. “It’s a bunch of bull.”

  Derek looked at his brother curiously. “How do yo
u know about Zella?”

  “Reid called me before you headed here,” Mike said. “Just wanted to give me a heads up so we could keep an eye on you.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “Reid thinks I’m going to relapse over it, but he’s wrong.”

  “Given what Reid told me about you and Zella, I can see why he’s concerned. Sounds like it could have sent you into a dark place,” Mike said.

  “I thought you said the thing with Zella wasn’t serious,” Linda said.

  “It wasn’t, and I really don’t want to talk about it,” Derek said. “Can we just go?”

  He got into the backseat next to Brynn’s car seat, eager to get away from the conversation. He knew better than to think his family would drop it though. Back at the house, they had lunch and vented about the hearing. As soon as Brynn was down for a nap, Mike pulled Derek outside.

  “So tell me about Zella,” Mike said.

  “I thought Reid told you everything,” Derek said.

  “He told me what he knew, but I want to hear you talk about her,” Mike said.

  Derek knew he wasn’t going to get out of this easily. And he’d never been able to lie to Mike anyway. So he gave in. He filled Mike in on how he met Zella and went on to share everything that happened with her – from their first date to her visits while he was in AAA. He even pulled out his phone to show Mike the photo her mother had taken of them together on the Pioneers field. They looked cozy enough in the photo that no one would have guessed they hadn’t started dating yet.

  “She’s cute. And she sounds like she’s a great girl. Reid said you were annoyingly happy together,” Mike said. “So what happened?”

  “Her parents didn’t want her involved with an addict,” Derek said.

  “That’s kind of close-minded,” Mike said. “I thought you said they met you and were nice to you.”

  “They did. And they were,” Derek said. “But they still didn’t want me dating their daughter, and I can’t really blame them. They lost their son to addiction – pretty much the same way I could have gone out – so they have an idea about what her life with me would be like.”

  “Sounds like they had the wrong idea,” Mike said.