My Destiny

by Adrianne Byrd

  “You’re way off base.” Miles suspected he would have had better luck convincing Wes had he not hesitated before answering.

  Wes’s grin took on a wicked quality. “Sure, I am, buddy. Sure I am.”

  * * *

  On Monday afternoon, Destiny joined her girlfriends, Debra, Monique and Lu Jin, for lunch. And while everyone chatted nonstop about husbands, boyfriends and children, Destiny’s mind roamed wildly on who would be a good candidate for Miles. The problem was that for every name that scrolled across her brain, she found a major flaw that knocked them off the list.

  When Lu Jin leaned over and whispered, “Are you all right?” she nearly jumped out of her skin.

  “Oh, yes.” She looked guiltily around. “I’m sorry. My mind was roaming.”

  “That much is apparent.” Monique chuckled. “I just want to know if it’s that new young thang you’re dating that’s got your mind up in the clouds.”

  “Me, too,” Debra chimed in with a wicked smile. “The way you two were dancing the other night, I figured you guys got real acquainted after the party.”

  As the women laughed, a wave of embarrassment rippled through Destiny.

  Lu Jin elbowed her. “Well?”

  Destiny smiled. “You know me, guys—I never kiss and tell.”

  Everyone moaned in disappointment.

  “That’s an annoying habit you got there,” Lu Jin said, shaking her head. “There should never be secrets between us.”

  “Are you kidding? Secrets aren’t secrets long the way you girls love to gossip.”

  Their eyes widened as they took in a collective gasp. “Who, us?” they asked in unison.

  Destiny laughed. “I love you all, but I’m telling it like it is.”

  Lu Jin was the first to verbalize her protest. “I’ll have you know that we don’t gossip. We exchange vital information.”

  “That’s right,” Debra and Monique agreed, nodding.

  Smiling, Destiny waved them off. “If you say so. I’m not going to argue.”

  Monique leaned in. “Since you’re not going to tell us what happened when you left the party, surely you’re going to tell us how old Steve is.”

  The women leaned in.

  Destiny rolled her eyes. “Steven is twenty-four.”

  They all squealed with delight.

  “Glory be.” Lu Jin fanned herself with her hand. “I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”

  Destiny slapped her hand. “Stop it. You’ve dated plenty of younger men.”

  “Never more than three years younger. I don’t work out like you. I tire easily.”

  “I heard that.” Monique held up her hand and received excited high fives from the other two women.

  Destiny laughed and shook her head. “You girls are out of control.”

  “I want to know what Miles said when he cut in to dance with you,” Debra asked. “Now that brotha didn’t look too pleased about your date.”

  Once again, the women leaned forward in rapt attention.

  “Ya’ll are some nosy women—and you need to get out of my business,” Destiny sassed. “But if it’s Miles you want to hear about, then maybe you girls can help me with something else.”

  They bristled at not getting the information they wanted.

  “I’m serious. Miles and I were talking the other morning about how hard it is to find quality people to date so we agreed to set each other up. Problem is, I think I just talked myself into a corner because I can’t think of anyone that would be perfect for him.”

  To her surprise, another burst of laughter erupted from her friends. She frowned. “What’s so funny?”

  They were all so tickled by what she’d said, no one could stop laughing long enough to answer her question.

  “What?” Destiny insisted.

  Lu Jin pressed a hand against her chest and drew in a deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to find Miles a date?”

  Destiny nodded, and then lifted her brows inquisitively when they laughed again. “He’s not a bad guy. Any woman should be happy to date him.”

  “That’s not what’s so funny,” Lu Jin interjected.

  “Then what?”

  “Come on, Destiny. What have we been telling you for years?”

  Rolling her eyes and waving off her friend’s comment, Destiny responded more impatiently than she intended. “Don’t start that again. I’m being serious.”

  Eyes still twinkling, Lu Jin met her gaze. “So were we.”

  Destiny drew in and expelled a tired breath.

  Lu Jin went on, “You guys are perfect for each other. I don’t see how you can’t see it.” She counted off her fingers. “You work together, play together—why not sleep together?”

  “Three for one,” Monique piped in. “You can’t beat that.”

  “Nothing like bargain shopping,” Debra added and was the first one to laugh at her clever joke.

  All Destiny could manage was a crooked smile.

  Lu Jin rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Destiny. You mean to tell me that you never once fantasized what it would be like to be with Miles?”

  Instantly, she felt trapped by the question.

  Her three friends were quick to pick up on her hesitation and they squealed excitedly.

  People from surrounding tables turned in their direction and Destiny tried to control her friends.

  “Shhh,” Destiny said as though she corrected errant children. “We’re still in a restaurant, you know.”

  Apparently unconcerned, Lu Jin continued laughing while managing to say, “You’re a fraud, Destiny Brockman.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Why?”

  “Because for the past five years, you’ve acted like you haven’t even noticed he was a member of the opposite sex. Oh, you’re smooth.”

  “Sister girl got game,” Monique agreed, and received an impulsive high five from Lu Jin for her commentary.

  Destiny shook her head at their antics. “Okay, I know he’s a member of the opposite sex—big deal. It doesn’t change anything.”

  Lu Jin waved a finger at her. “It changes everything. And you’re crazy if you don’t see it. I mean, here is a man you spend practically every waking moment with and you’re attracted to him. Honestly, what else can you ask for?”

  Debra leaned forward. “If I was you I would be trying to get that man in front of an altar—and soon. Your biological clock is ticking so loud, it’s waking me up every morning.”

  “Not funny,” Destiny said with her best silencing glare. “I have plenty of time to have children.”

  Lu Jin, who had never hid the fact that she didn’t consider herself mother material, ticked her finger like a metronome at her. “Do you really want to spend your golden years running to P.T.A. meetings?”

  Debra and Monique, who were already mothers, nodded in agreement.

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

  “Am I? Let’s say you play the field for another five years. You get married at forty and have children. Your firstborn moves out at eighteen—”

  “That’s if you’re lucky,” Debra warned.

  “Yeah,” Monique nodded.

  “You’d be fifty-nine going on sixty. And if you put him through college, tack on another four years.”

  “He could live on college campus,” Destiny argued back.

  “Uh-huh, or he could be enrolled at the local community college and live at home.”

  “Or worse, he could decide that college isn’t for him and refuse to move out until he’s thirty-five,” Monique added gloomily.

  The rest of the women looked at her.

  “What? It could happen. My brother turned thirty-five last month and he’s still home—and has no plans of moving out.”

  “Okay, stop it, girls. You’re starting to depress me. I can appreciate you trying to look out for me and all, but you’re wrong about Miles and I.” She swallowed and searched for the right words that would finally make
them understand. “I know this sounds ludicrous, but in my mind, Miles has sort of filled Adam’s shoes.”

  She stopped and stared at their stunned faces. “He’s the big brother I miss having in my life. He loves practicing law. He’s overprotective about the men I date. Hell, he even likes the same music as Adam. Now do you understand?”

  Their gazes darted from one another, but no one said a word.

  “I gotta go,” Destiny said, suddenly jumping up from the table.

  “Wait, no,” Lu Jin protested. “Don’t go.”

  “It’s okay.” Destiny ignored her, quickly gathering her things. “I’ve already ruined the mood with my crazy ramblings. I’ll catch up with you girls later.” She tossed down a twenty onto the table and raced out before her tears won the battle against her willpower.

  Chapter 21

  Destiny pulled out all of her old newspaper clippings of Adam. The fact that he would stay forever young in her mind and in her heart caused her tears to multiply with each glass of red wine. Taking her time, she reread each word printed in the articles and took each derogatory comment as a personal insult to the memory of the man she knew better than anyone.

  For years, she’d tried to put the past just where it belonged—in the past. Yet, the confession to her friends forced her to reexamine her relationship with Miles. Her conclusion: she’d cast Miles in a role he was ill suited to play. She heard a loud ringing, but it took her a moment to realize that it was the phone.

  “I’m coming,” she mumbled, frowning, and then tried rather awkwardly to get up from the floor. She knocked over the bottle and shrieked in delayed horror as a picture of Adam darkened a deep red.

  The phone forgotten, she scrambled back to the floor to save the other clippings, but made more of a mess than anything else.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she couldn’t help repeating as she clutched the damp articles to her body. Before she knew it, she was overcome with emotions that rocked her to her core.

  “You have to let me go.” Adam’s voice, a husky vibrato, was as clear as a bell in her head.

  “I’m trying, but it’s so hard,” she confessed, squeezing her eyes tight.

  “Letting go doesn’t mean you’ll forget me,” he said, tenderly.

  Destiny stopped rocking, unsure that she’d heard him right.

  “It’s okay,” he assured her again.

  At the feathery touch to her shoulder, she opened her eyes to stare into Adam’s intense, brown eyes. She pulled back and soaked up his handsome image. He looked as he did the last time she’d seen him alive: the same hair, the same clothes.

  Adam smiled and wiped at her tears. Again the touch was light but amazingly cold.

  “What’s okay?” she asked.

  His smile was so tender it broke her heart. “It’s okay to let go.”

  Through fat whelps of tears, Destiny shook her head. “I can’t.”

  He withdrew his hand. “It’s been twelve years, Destiny. It pains me that my passing has haunted you like this. It was never my intention to do this to you.” He glanced down. “There was a lot that was never my intention.”

  “You are a part of me. You’ll always be a part of me.”

  “I was a part of you. I made mistakes, but they were my mistakes. It hurts my heart to watch you do this to yourself.”

  She shrugged absently and forced a lie to pass between her lips. “It hasn’t been that much of a burden.”

  Adam smiled. “Don’t forget who you’re talking to. I know you better than anyone—better than Lu Jin, and better than Miles Stafford. We were twins, after all.”

  Destiny blinked at his mention of Miles.

  “What? You didn’t think I knew about him? You did give him some of my best records.”

  “I—I didn’t think you’d mind,” she stammered, apologetically.

  Adam laughed and she could feel her soul warming to its familiar sound.

  “Of course I don’t mind,” he said, but his smile faded quickly. “But I do mind you throwing your life away. There’s no sense in both of us making that mistake.”

  Destiny frowned. “I haven’t thrown my life away. I’ve built a small, successful law practice.” She pulled up from the floor. However, she still felt light-headed and the articles she’d clutched fluttered to the floor.

  “And what of your love life?”

  She expelled a tired sigh. “Oh, that.”

  “Yes, that,” he said with a note of frustration.

  “I’m no super woman. Up until now, my career has occupied most of my time. I mean I date, occasionally—but it’s very hard to invest much time in looking for a soul mate.” She was rambling, but couldn’t help it. “I’m also beginning to suspect all those magazine articles on how a woman can have a successful career and a wonderful family life are just full of crap. It’s one or the other if you ask me. Or would you have rather I’d married Jefferson Altman—boring Jefferson Altman?” She giggled, enjoying the magic the wine performed on her.

  “What about Miles Stafford?”

  Destiny frowned. “Why is everyone trying to cram Miles down my throat? We’re friends. That’s it, end of story.”

  “Because he reminds you of me?” Adam questioned.

  “Y-yes.” She lifted her hands to cradle her head. She didn’t like the way the room spun mercilessly around her, but blinked in surprise at the sound of Adam’s rich laughter. “What’s so funny?”

  His eyes focused on her. “You are. You were never a great liar,” he said, shaking his head.

  Destiny, no longer trusting her legs to support her weight, moved over to the sofa and unceremoniously plopped down.

  “Desi,” Adam said, moving to stand in her line of vision. “Open your heart and see the gift that’s standing before you before it’s too late.”

  The telephone rang and Destiny jerked to its loud, invasive sound. “Go away,” she moaned, mainly because she wasn’t in the mood to get up and search for the handheld unit.

  “Adam, could you...?” She looked around. “Where did you go?” Frowning and expelling a breath, she shook her head. Adam was dead and she was sitting in her living room, talking to herself.

  “Girl, you’re definitely losing it,” she huffed and pushed up to stand on her wobbly legs. She retrieved the now-empty bottle of wine from the floor and stumbled in a crooked line to the kitchen to search for a new bottle.

  * * *

  Miles glanced at his watch, while returning his cell phone to his hip. He was instantly besieged with worry. He’d been waiting with their new client for Destiny for well over an hour.

  “Should we reschedule?” Mr. Michaels, an elderly gentleman with wiry salt-and-pepper hair frowned with his inquiry.

  “No, that won’t be necessary,” Miles assured him. “I’m sure something important must have delayed my partner. Let’s just go ahead with our meal and I can fill Ms. Brockman in on the details later.” He smiled and suffered through horrible images of the different possibilities that had delayed Destiny. It was just not like her to pull a no-show.

  * * *

  Destiny’s creed—wine is fine, but there’s not a damn thing that old Jack Daniels couldn’t fix—was under review. She didn’t have many self-indulgent pity parties—and it was a good thing, too. For, at the moment, she was enjoying the wonderful feel of the toilet’s cold porcelain against her face.

  What she wouldn’t give to have Miles famous hangover remedy that he’d often bragged about. She drew in a deep, shaky breath, and hugged the toilet tighter as a wave of Chinese food and booze gushed and splashed into the bowl.

  When the room’s spinning accelerated, she was startled by the unexpected feel of something cool pressed against her head and then, just as suddenly, she was weightless and floating in the air. She giggled and waved her arms blithely over her head.

  “Watch it. You’re going to gouge out my eyes,” a deep, familiar voice warned her.

  Destiny jerked her head up in a lame attempt to brin
g her surroundings into focus, but the quick motion caused her stomach to protest violently and a second serving of dinner spewed forward.

  “Damn it, Desi,” the male voice barked.

  She apologized instantly to the voice, but felt another wave overtake her just before her intoxicated world faded to black.

  * * *

  When Destiny came to, it was to the sound and feel of warm water coursing around her body. She moaned and a fuzzy figure leaned over her and called her name. She opened her mouth to speak, but her mouth was as dry as the Sahara and her tongue had transformed into an engorged, leathery monster that made speech impossible.

  She heard a loud exhalation before the figure said, “You gave me quite a scare, Desi.”

  “Adam?” she asked, but the question sounded more like a grunt to her ears.

  “What were you trying to do, kill yourself?”

  Her moan was her answer to the ridiculous question mainly because the effort to talk took too much out of her.

  “Here, swish this,” the voice instructed.

  She opened her mouth obediently. And instead of the expected taste of water, came the powerful taste of Listerine. She went to spit it out, when the same command was barked at her.

  “Swish!”

  Grudgingly, she did as she was told then spit the foul-tasting mouthwash back into the Dixie cup he’d provided. Seconds later, the cloud of confusion parted and she realized that her concerned stranger was actually bathing her.

  An alarm sounded in her head and she pushed weakly at the pair of soothing hands.

  “It’s all right. It’s all right, Desi.”

  She relaxed at the sound of the loving nickname Adam had given her. She’d even managed a weak smile as she said his name.

  “Desi, Adam’s dead. It’s me—Miles.”

  “Miles,” Destiny repeated, still smiling. “Sweet, caring, Miles.”

  He chuckled. “Maybe Wes is right—I’ve lost my touch.”

  Lifting a wet hand, Destiny caressed the side of his face. “You’re so good to me,” she whispered. His blurry features slowly came into focus and her smile grew even wider. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m doing what I’ve always done—look after you.” As he said this, he rubbed a soapy towel over her shoulder. “You were a mess when I found you in here.”