Abandon

by St. Claire, Gisele

  She threw a pillow at me. “Get out of here.”

  I walked towards the door. “Catch you later.”

  “Thank you, Lucas, for maybe saving my life.” She shouted after me. “Sorry about the kiss again.”

  Was she sorry? It was only a peck on the cheek but I wasn’t sorry she’d done it. Neither was I sorry that I’d woken to find her cuddled against me. In fact I was headed to my own bed right now to think about that one some more. My cock agreed and I went into my apartment and hit the sack.

  Aidan and I met at a steakhouse downtown and got caught up on family stuff and business. “So, you and Lori. You reckon she’s the one?”

  He nodded. “I do. I’m gonna marry that woman one day. But right now she’s finishing up her studying, so I’m letting her concentrate on that. It means a lot to her, to achieve that.”

  “Who’d have thought someone would tame the wild beast that is Aidan Hall.” I took a pull of my beer.

  “Yeah, I swore I wouldn’t find a woman. Even had a bet with Henry and Eli about it.”

  “Fuck, you didn’t?”

  “Yeah, first time I’ve been pleased that I lost. So how about you then, any women in your life?”

  “Nah, I’m not ready to settle down just yet.”

  “You know I see how your eyes follow Ash around like a little puppy dog’s right?”

  I startled so much I almost spilled my beer.

  “What? Is it that obvious?” I choked out.

  “Nah, bro. I was jesting with ya. I’ve seen the occasional glance I thought was a bit lust ridden, but thanks for confessing. Good to know. You going to do anything about your crush on your boss then?” He winked.

  “You’re such a douche. I can’t believe I fell for that. You’d think I’d be aware of all your wind-ups by now.” I was seriously pissed that he’d got this out of me. It was bad for my job.

  “Look, I know you had that claim from that bitch, but Ash isn’t like that.”

  “I can’t ask my boss on a date, dude. What if she turned me down? That would do well for future business, when we can’t even look at each other. What if we dated and split up?”

  “What if you were perfect for each other and it all worked out?”

  “We’ll never know because I won’t ask.”

  “Fine. Well if you change your mind, if things didn’t work out you could go manage the club in Miami.”

  “I won’t be changing my mind.”

  Aidan looked at me with a raised eyebrow but changed the subject to the night before.

  “It would appear XL was a success yesterday. I had a call this morning from Denver himself personally to say how fantastic my new venue was, and how efficient my Manager.”

  “Yeah, fucking jerk.”

  Aidan’s brows creased. “Did he do something I’m unaware of?”

  “He hit on Ash. I mean come on, he had all those females in the club and he hit on the manager of the establishment. Not very respectful is it?”

  “No, it’s not. Though I wouldn’t expect anything better from him. He’s known for his player ways. I take it she declined his offer?”

  “She did. Though I might have told her she should go out on a date with him.”

  Aidan raised a hand to his forehead half covering his eyes. “You did what?”

  “Look, she needs to date other guys, then maybe I can get over this teenage boy crush I’m having and we can get on with our jobs. But I see her round the clock and so it’s not surprising I’ve got like this. It’s like being in the Big Brother house or something. It amplifies your feelings when you’re spending so much time together.”

  “Lucas. You work on different floors, have different shift patterns and although your apartments are next door you don’t have to spend time together. So why do you think you both are? Please don’t do an Eli and lust after your assistant for years without doing anything.”

  “Me and Ash have a platonic friendship. That. Is. All.” I snapped.

  “You keep telling yourself that.” Aidan replied.

  I wanted to punch that smug grin off his face.

  Chapter Eight

  Ashley

  The door closed behind Lucas and I slid down under the comforter and pulled my duvet over my head. Fuck, I’d acted crazy last night. Drinking tequila with the band and then drinking with the staff? So across the lines of professionalism. Lucas had found me sat outside my own door? I vaguely remembered not being able to get my key to work. My cheeks were hot with embarrassment. I just kissed Lucas on the cheek. It seemed right at the time, a friendly thank you, except for when my lips hit his cheek, I kinda wanted my whole body to follow and push him back onto the bed.

  This would not do and anyway, before my drunken behavior, last night in his apartment he’d encouraged me to date Denver. That I did remember.

  I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, grateful for the warm water that cascaded down my face. I really did need to get back to my life. I was thirty-four years old and life was going to pass me by if I wasn’t careful. It would be so easy to stay immersed in work. I loved it and got such a sense of achievement from it, but what happened when I was older? Would I regret not having a partner, children? I knew deep down inside I would.

  As the shower rained down on me, it was like a dam had burst as the walls I’d built up around myself to protect me from further hurt began to collapse. I sat on the floor of the stall as large, wracking sobs came from me. All the pain caused by my ex and best friend rose to the surface and I mourned my past relationships and let myself feel the hurt finally that had happened all those years before.

  When I eventually stopped, I washed myself, dried off, crawled back into bed and slept for hours. When I finally awoke, I felt calmer than I had in years, and hopeful for the future.

  I’d not expected to see Lucas again, given that he’d said he was going for drinks with Aidan, but I heard him return at 9pm and was surprised that he didn’t call around to see how I was. Surprised or disappointed, I asked myself. I really needed to expand my horizons and I knew exactly what I was going to do first. I was going to Masquerade night on Friday. I knew Aidan wasn’t working Friday evening, Jess was covering, and so it was the perfect time for me to go and explore. I didn’t think I’d have the confidence to join in anything but at least I would have pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

  “Can you tell it’s me?” I asked Jess. The only person I’d confided in that I was going.

  “No. You’re dressed in hot pants, a bandage top and pvc boots, that aren’t designer. With the heavy make up I’ve put on you plus the blonde wig, no one is going to know this is you. You’re worlds apart from the sophisticated designer clad brunette that walks around the club.”

  “Tell me I’m not making a huge mistake, Jess.” I looked in the mirror. Who was that woman with the crimson glossed mouth and fake mole? Jess had used contouring makeup and even my face shape looked different.

  “You’re only looking. Oh, I got it! Pretend you’re a mystery shopper! In fact if you’re recognized, which you won’t be.” She saw the panic in the tensing of my body. “That’s what you say. That you’ve gone undercover to check they are doing their jobs properly.”

  “I can work with that.” I told her, handing over my cell phone. “Okay, you keep that. It’s my night off so no one would expect to see me anyway, but I don’t want that ringing and identifying me.”

  “Right, gorgeous. I’m off downstairs and if you don’t arrive within the next hour I’m coming back up here to drag your ass down. We clear?”

  “Crystal.”

  Walking into my club as a customer instead of the Manager was enough to stop my heart. The fake ID I’d created had obviously worked straightaway but I just had visions of being recognized instantly. It took an hour of drinking wine (which Jess brought over to me so I didn’t have to speak at the bar) before I relaxed, realizing that in fact no one here gave a damn who I was. I was wearing the wristband that showed I was jus
t ‘looking’ and not participating, so no one had approached me. I took a deep breath. It was time to go and walk around the club and enjoy myself. Time to see what turned me on and try to relight the fire in me that my ex had extinguished.

  I was envious seeing people who had totally given in to their lust and desire. People came to our club because there was no judgment. As long as things were legal and consensual then any fantasies could be acted out here. One man in a room was wearing a giant nappy and was sat on a female Dom’s knee; in another room two couples were enjoying what I presumed were the other one’s partners. Yet none of it appealed to me. I’d seen it so many times I was immune. Great, I was broken.

  Finally I walked down a corridor to our play room. This was a room I didn’t come down to often as it was right at the end of the corridor. I stood at the viewing window and watched as a man hooked up his partner so she was against the wall, her arms outstretched. She was completely at his mercy secured by her wrists and ankles. I watched as he tormented her to the cusp of orgasm with his fingers and with a vibrator. Then I watched him fuck her. She encompassed the name of the club as she gave into him and pleasure with abandon and I felt between my legs get wet. I’d found the key to my locked up self. I wanted to be entirely at someone else’s mercy, free for them to do what they wanted to me.

  I took a deep breath and started to push open the door.

  Chapter Nine

  Lucas

  I had the night off. I’d been to the gym and came back and knocked on Ash’s door. After largely avoiding her all week, I decided I was being stupid and so thought I’d see if she wanted to get takeout. There was no answer. I called her cell and was surprised when Jess answered.

  “What are you doing with Ash’s cell?”

  “She’s in a meeting and can’t take calls right now?”

  “What meeting? With who?”

  “Sorry, Lucas, it’s all strictly confidential.”

  “Not if it’s to do with the club it’s not.”

  A sigh came down the line. “It’s not to do with the club. Calm your briefs, Lucas. Ash is fine, she just needed me to hold her cell for an hour or so.”

  “This sounds shady.”

  “What it is, Lucas, is none of your business; now I’m working so if you don’t mind, I need to get back to it.”

  She ended the call and I began pacing around my apartment.

  Where was she?

  A meeting, but with no cell phone. What sort of meeting would that be?

  Then clarity came to my mind. Oh God. Was she with Denver? I’d bet he wouldn’t allow cell phones or electronic equipment on dates for security reasons, so nothing got recorded to be sold to gossip magazines. I’d done it. I’d pushed her into Denver’s arms. What a dick I was.

  I slipped my shoes back on. I was going down to the club. I was no use here pacing around. I’d try to get the details out of Jess, then I’d go to wherever they were.

  And do what?

  If she’s on a date what business of yours is it?

  What if she’s in bed with him?

  That thought was one too many for my brain and I slammed my apartment door behind me and stormed downstairs.

  “Hey, Jess.”

  “What are you doing here?” Her face said what her words didn’t because up until then I’d thought Ash was out somewhere, but as Jess’ eyes darted around the club I knew without a doubt that Ashley was somewhere in this club, and if she didn’t have her phone - what was she doing?

  Keep calm, Lucas.

  “I was bored. You know what it’s like. This place gets under your skin. I’m going to head to the office and do a little paperwork. You’re sure Ash is safe wherever she is with no cell?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “That’s good enough for me then. Sorry, I went a bit alpha. It’s no business of mine what Ash does in her spare time, but she’s a friend.”

  Jess looked at me with the same kind of expression I got from Aidan, a look of bemusement. I ignored her and went to the office.

  On our system was the same video access to the rooms that security had. We had monitors and could look around the club. I sat down and painstakingly started to look from monitor to monitor. I couldn’t find her. The trouble was it was masquerade night and many of the customers were wearing masks and wigs. Is that what Ash was doing? I started again from the first monitor trying to find a clue, a giveaway body shape, a hair flick, anything that would give her away. And then in front of my eyes there she was. I watched as a slim female dressed in hot pants walked across the playroom. She was so hesitant, it made me look twice. I switched on the sound as she sauntered halfway across the room.

  “S-Sorry, I made a mistake.” Her voice was unmistakable. It was definitely Ash.

  “There’s no need to be shy.” The male spoke. “It takes courage to come into a room with another couple. You must have been intrigued.”

  A tongue flicked around dark painted lips. “I was. I enjoyed watching you together. My reaction was to come in and see if I could join you but I’ve changed my mind. I realized I only want to do this with someone I’m seeing. I’m sorry for the interruption.”

  The woman against the wall had said nothing throughout and I guessed she had to be given permission to speak. The man continued to talk. “I would have declined your offer. I’m here with my wife and we’re exclusive. But we enjoy when people watch. Stay.”

  “Thank you. But I’ve found what I came for. I wanted to know what interested me and it’s this. How your wife gave herself up to you completely. You’ve helped me answer some questions I had about myself tonight. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

  With that Ash walked back out of the room and I followed her from monitor to monitor. Unfortunately the bar was an area we were unable to listen in to so I had no idea what Jess said to Ash about my being here. I just saw a flicker of panic in Ash’s eyes and then she left the club, quickly.

  I didn’t know what to do with myself. Did I rush after her?

  What if she told me to get lost?

  I decided I’d wait ten minutes and then I’d knock at her door on the pretense of not being able to get hold of her. The woman was driving me fucking crazy. The sight of her in hot pants and high heeled boots sending me out of my mind.

  In fact fuck ten minutes. I was going up there now.

  I banged on the door. “Ash, it’s me. Open up.”

  My cell rang. It was her. “I’ve got a headache, Lucas. Is everything okay, only I’m in bed.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Ash. I saw you on the monitor.”

  There was a silence and a sigh. Then the door unlocked.

  She stood in the doorway. Her wig gone, her long brunette hair fell messily; her makeup made her look like a movie star and she stood there in a tight top that showed the outline of her perfect breasts and hot pants that displayed her willowy legs.

  It was like being an alcoholic on a boat in a sea of liquor. I knew if I fell, I could drown, but what a way to die.

  “What do you want, Lucas?” She said haughtily.

  “You.” I croaked out.

  Her jaw dropped open and I came to my senses.

  Fuck, I’d blown it now.

  “I’m sorry, God, I’m sorry, Ash. I should nev-”

  But I didn’t get to finish my sentence because Ash had pulled me towards her and our mouths met in a frenzy of need.

  I picked her up, her legs going around my waist and I carried her to her bedroom.

  I broke off long enough to say to her, “Are you sure?”

  The breathy reply of, “Kiss me,” was all I needed to hear in return.

  We feasted on each other, tongues tangling and when I finally broke off, Ash’s lips were puffy.

  “I watched you.” I told her. “I saw what you need. Now I can give you that? Do you want it?”

  “Yes.” She almost mewled.

  Working down her body I pulled the hot pants from her. She was bare underneath and it
almost was my undoing right then. Her pussy was bare apart from a thin line. I pushed her hips apart and licked up her seam. She gasped and her fingers held onto my head. “Oh God, yes.”

  But I’d seen that what she’d hankered after had been to not have control, so I moved away and undid my tie. Ash’s hooded gaze watching me. I helped her shed her top, then I said, “Hold out your wrists. Together.”

  I bound her with my tie and then I flipped her onto her front. I gasped as I saw the tattoos that covered her back - a hidden secret of the true Ash - a large skull with snakes running through it led to another pattern that covered her left hip, buttock and the top of her thigh. I traced the snakes with my fingers and my tongue and then ran my tongue down through the crease between her buttocks. I pushed her up onto her knees and entered her pussy with my tongue. Her juices coated my face, she was so fucking wet. Reaching underneath her I cupped her breast, tweaking her nipple.

  Her breast pushed into my hand and I could detect just how hard she was breathing, how heavy her heart thudded. After taking my fill of her honey, I moved back and freed my cock, dropping my pants and briefs to the floor. I lifted Ash off the bed and pushed her up against her bedroom wall, her bound arms above her head. Legs parted I placed my raging hard dick next to her entrance and then pushed inside. Her warmth accepted me straightaway. She was so wet I was welcome immediately. I withdrew and then pushed in again, reveling in how it felt to be inside Ash’s pussy. She gasped as I entered her and pushed back against me trying to take me deeper inside her.

  “Oh my God, Lucas. I’m going to come.” She said and so I quickly found her clit with my fingers and I strummed that nub while I felt her come apart on my cock. I stilled for a moment letting her recover but I wasn’t done. Not by a long shot. I threw her down on the bed on her back and undid her hands. Those perfect breasts displayed before my eyes and I had to taste them, had to capture a hardened bud in my mouth and lick it, before nipping with the edge of my teeth. I looped my tie around one of her wrists and then secured it to the headboard. Looking around the room I saw Ash’s robe and I slipped the tie from that and secured her other wrist.