Too Hard to Break

by Missy Jane

  “I had dinner with a client, sweetheart,” he said quietly.

  “Okay.”

  His gaze burned through me and I was glad for the darkness. “Were you really upset I was out late?”

  I shook my head and prayed he would forgive me for a little white lie. “No. I just had a really shitty day at work.”

  He leaned over me again, resting his arms on either side of my head until we were a breath apart. This time his muscled chest pressed against my breasts until I felt his heartbeat.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to talk about it when you got home. I can’t promise it’s not gonna happen again in the next couple of weeks. Can you forgive me?”

  “Yes.”

  I felt his smile against my mouth before his tongue pushed through my lips. I moaned as he invaded, taking his time to explore. His unique taste blended with beer and barbecue sauce sizzled on my tongue. I slid my hands up his chest to his shoulders and wrapped my arms around his neck. Every concern and thought disappeared from my mind as it filled with the sensation of his hard body pressed against mine.

  He nibbled on my lips before moving to my chin and then my throat. I gasped and threw my head back to give him better access. He hummed again and bit down lightly on my pulse.

  “You taste so fucking good, Elle.”

  “Hank…” I couldn’t think past his name and the magic his mouth was working against my skin.

  He moved away from my throat, across my neck to my collarbone. As he suckled my tingling skin, I turned my head for him and my nose brushed his hand. He bit down and I gasped in a deep breath, inhaling an unfamiliar fragrance that didn’t fit. It took a second for me to recognize it as a woman’s perfume, one I’d never worn before, and it was coming from his hand.

  “H-Hank. Hank, stop.”

  I started pushing him away as my eyes burned with the threat of tears. How in the hell could he be close enough to a woman for her perfume to rub off during dinner, then come home to make out with me?

  I pushed against his chest when he continued to kiss my neck and he finally got the hint. He huffed out a breath and sat up without questioning me. He probably thought it was just my indecision coming between us again. I couldn’t find the words to correct his assumption. Pain sliced through my chest and I covered my mouth with one hand and rolled onto my side, away from him. He sighed and placed a hand on my hip.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to get carried away. I’ll let you sleep.”

  The soft cotton of his shirt brushed my arm as he leaned over me one last time and placed a kiss on my temple.

  “Goodnight,” I whispered.

  “G’night.”

  He left my room as quietly as he had entered and I cried myself to sleep.

  * * * * *

  The first thing I noticed when I woke the next morning was the rain had stopped. I lingered in bed, hoping Hank had already left for work, but knew he wouldn’t leave without telling me. I had some decisions to make. Hank was too much of a gentleman to kick me out no matter what he had going on in his personal life. My lips still tingled from his kisses and that just pissed me off. But I considered the beer on his breath and thought maybe he’d had just enough to lower his inhibitions. He didn’t strike me as the cheating type.

  Perhaps it was a new relationship? If Megan hadn’t said anything I might not have noticed anything odd. I considered how he’d abruptly cut off his phone conversation when I walked into the room yesterday. That plus his late night out, and then the perfume on his hand, all led to one conclusion. There was another woman in his life now. So, what was I going to do about it? One option was nothing. I could keep existing as I had been and wait for the inevitable. He wouldn’t kick me out but he might urge me to find another place by helping.

  Another option was to take the high road and just leave. Sean’s house stood empty and it was two streets away from Megan’s. I’d be close to my best friend and not far from work. He owned the house outright because he was a genius with investments. Having him as a landlord couldn’t be all that bad. Especially since Megan would always have my back. I’d never actually lived alone before. It might be a nice change.

  I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling as I considered option number three. The direct approach. I could simply confront Hank and ask for an explanation. He had been honest with me about everything since day one, as far as I could tell. When Declan had started looking for me, Hank had gone straight to him and told him to back off if he prized his fingers. Declan being a musician, his fingers meant more to him than I did. He pretended to back off and had some thug friend of his look for me instead. Thankfully Sean had put a stop to that.

  At the time I thought it meant Hank really cared about and wanted me. I still knew he cared, but his wanting me was questionable. He wanted to protect me for certain. He wanted to know I was safe and sound. But big brothers and good friends did that too, not lovers. Last night I thought he might desire me, but was it the beer clouding his judgment? What about the make-out session we’d engaged in the day I left Declan? I’m pretty sure he was trying to make me feel better about the whole awful situation. But was that all? I wish I knew for certain.

  With a groan I rolled out of bed, no closer to a decision than I had been last night. With no work and nothing much to do, I decided not to change out of my pajamas. Hank was sipping coffee at the kitchen table when I walked in. He lifted one thick brow in question as I sat across from him.

  “Mornin’. I didn’t expect you up early on your day off.”

  I shrugged and crossed my arms on the table, leaning my chin on top. “I woke up and didn’t feel like lying around all day.”

  He grinned and it still sizzled my blood, but it wasn’t as thrilling now. I gave a weak smile and looked away.

  “You all right? I’m sorry I woke you last night.”

  A blush burned my cheeks at the reminder of his kisses but I shook my head and tried to ignore it.

  “It’s not your fault. I was still awake. I had a lot on my mind.”

  His grin melted away and he set aside his coffee to reach across the table. He took my hands between his and held them.

  “Baby, tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

  I stared at him while my thoughts were a whirlwind in my mind. Should I just ask about last night and the phone call? What about his lunch date? It really wasn’t any of my business.

  “Uh…I—”

  The insistent ring of his cell phone cut me off and I sat back, tugging my hands from his. He frowned at me as he pulled out his cell.

  “Shit,” he mumbled. “I have to get this, but don’t think this conversation is finished.”

  He stood and answered the call without waiting for my reply, turning away and walking swiftly from the room. For a second I considered following him, but did I really want to hear him talking to another woman? No, definitely not. I considered the endearments he often used on me and the flirtatious way he could coax me into talking when I really didn’t feel like it. What was he doing with her?

  With a huff, I decided it didn’t matter. It was his business and I’d taken up enough of his life without giving anything in return. I ate his food, used his utilities, lived in his house rent free. True, he wouldn’t take money from me no matter how often I tried to give it. He complained if I bought groceries or spent any of my money on him in any way. But I felt like a leech and it was going to stop now.

  With that thought in mind I returned to my room and took my phone off the charger before dialing Hardy’s All Goods.

  “It’s a great day at Hardy’s. How can I help you?”

  I smiled at the cheerful voice and tried to imagine my friend Mari saying that line, but just couldn’t do it.

  “Good morning. Is Sean available?”

  “Yes ma’am, may I ask who’s calling?”

  “You can tell him it’s Elle.”

  “Okay, one moment.”

&n
bsp; A familiar piano concerto came on and I tapped my fingers to the rhythm. I was just getting into it when the line clicked over.

  “Elle?”

  “Hey, Sean.”

  I couldn’t help smiling at his deep voice, the concern in just my name was so evident.

  “Hey, everything all right?”

  I sighed at that loaded question and decide not to beat around the bush. “Honestly? I just don’t know. I was wondering if your sister ever decided to move into your house.”

  He was silent a little longer than necessary for such a simple question, but then got right down to business.

  “Nope. She’s stalling for reasons only she seems to know. Driving me nuts. You need a place to stay? You’re more than welcome.”

  I released a breath in relief, cringing when it hit the phone. “Uh, yeah. That would be really great. I think I’ve been here long enough.”

  “Did he say something? Is he kicking you out?” Anger crept into his voice loud and clear.

  “No! Oh no, not at all. In fact…I haven’t even told him I’m moving out yet.”

  “You’re moving out?”

  I froze at the deep voice coming from directly behind me. It took a second to clear my face of guilt before I turned around to face Hank. Confusion was evident in his gaze but a hint of pain sat there too. In my ear, Sean started talking.

  “Was that him? He doesn’t sound too happy. Look, I get off at three and can be there with my truck in twenty minutes. Just call me later and let me know for sure, okay?”

  “Yeah…thanks, Sean. I will.”

  I held Hank’s gaze through my goodbye and hung the phone up with numb fingers. As soon as I dropped the phone onto my bed Hank closed the distance between us.

  “What’s going on, Elle? Why are you moving out? Did I do something to upset you, baby? Tell me, please.”

  He cradled my face in his hands so gently, tears stung the back of my throat at his care. He was the only man to ever treat me so well. Was I doing the right thing?

  “Hank, I’ve already disrupted your life for months. You’ve got to be getting sick of me by now.”

  I let out a weak laugh and tried to smile but he shook his head with a frown.

  “No, not even remotely. I love having you here, in my house, in my care. I told you, Elle, I want to take care of you.”

  I had to swallow hard and clear my throat twice before I could respond. “Remember how I told you I needed to get my shit together? I need to do this, Hank. I need to stand on my own two feet. You really want a doormat like me in your life? What would your mom think? That woman is tough as nails.”

  I laughed again, a little stronger, to ease my words. He didn’t buy it.

  “I remember what you said and I think it’s as much a load of bull now as it was all those months ago. You’ve been strong for years, Elle. No one could have lived with Declan as long as you did and not be. Now it’s time to be pampered and treated like the treasure you are. I want to do that for you.”

  Before I could say anything else he pulled me into his arms and held me securely against his chest. I knew in his mind that was the end of the discussion, but I just couldn’t give in again. Though it killed me to do it, I eased out of his arms and stepped away.

  “Please don’t think I don’t appreciate all you’ve done for me, because I do. You’ve helped me in more ways than you can imagine. I just can’t continue to rely on you for every little thing, Hank. I’m a grown woman. It’s time I started acting like one.”

  I deliberately turned away from him and pulled clothes from my dresser. His gaze was like a caress against my skin. After I’d gathered a full outfit for the day, I turned to face him again to see he hadn’t moved an inch.

  “I’m going to take a shower.”

  He still didn’t budge. I bit my lip, judging the amount of space to either side of him and knowing it would be a tight fit.

  “Fine. You take your shower while I cook your breakfast, and then we’ll talk some more.”

  I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand to stop me.

  “I am going to cook your breakfast, just like I’ve been doing for months. I like cooking for you and I’m going to be cooking my food anyway. Now, go take your shower.”

  He turned away and strode out of the room without a backward glance. Though he didn’t seem angry it was obvious he wasn’t happy. Was this really the right thing to do? I honestly didn’t know, but often the right choice isn’t the easiest one. All I could say for certain was being a responsible adult really sucked sometimes.

  I walked into the kitchen a few minutes later to find him dishing scrambled eggs and bacon onto two plates. For a second I considered saying I was feeling a little over-easy, but the expression on his face killed my humor. He was as serious as I’d ever seen him and he wasn’t happy. I sighed and sat at the rarely used kitchen table. We normally just sat at the island. There was room behind the stovetop that doubled as a bar and countertop. I absolutely loved Hank’s kitchen. It was all his design and was strong and masculine like the man himself.

  I settled into the high-back wooden chair and Hank set our plates on the table. He sat beside me even though there would have been more room for both of us if he’d sat across.

  “Thank you,” I murmured before grabbing the salt.

  “You’re very welcome. I enjoy cooking for you.”

  I seasoned my eggs and bit my lip to keep from saying something I might regret. I really didn’t want to pick a fight with him.

  “So,” he said before standing back up and moving to the coffee pot. “Where are you moving to?”

  He made two cups of coffee and returned to the table. I took mine from him with a nod of thanks.

  “Sean’s house is empty right now because his sister doesn’t want to leave New York yet. He said I’m welcome to rent it for as long as I need.”

  “And if she decides to move down here?”

  I shrugged and took a sip of coffee. “It’s a three-bedroom house. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing with me. We could even split the bills and it would be easier on both of us.”

  He frowned and ate a few bites. “You don’t have to worry about any bills here.”

  I blew out a breath of annoyance but then smiled at him. I shouldn’t be angry when all he wanted was to help me. It wasn’t fair to him. I just wondered what his new girlfriend thought of this arrangement. Or did she even know?

  “I realize that, Hank, and I thank you kindly. I’ve actually got money in my savings account now thanks to you. I really do appreciate it.”

  “But?”

  I sighed again and took another sip of coffee before restating my argument. “But, I need to stand on my own two feet for a while. Do you realize I’ve never lived alone my whole life? I’m almost thirty, Hank. That’s just ridiculous.”

  He shook his head and took his last bite before finishing his coffee.

  “I don’t see anything ridiculous about living with someone who wants you to be there. I enjoy having you in my home, Elle. I like cooking for you. I like taking care of you. I like watching the news with you after dinner and trying to figure out the crossword puzzle. Who am I going to talk to if you’re not here?”

  I almost blurted out your girlfriend but stopped myself just in time. He hadn’t fessed up and I just didn’t think it was any of my business. If he wanted to keep the woman a secret, that was his choice. I just needed to look out for me and my heart. It was time to go.

  “I realize that, but I’m not your sister or a stray animal. I need to take care of myself.”

  Irrational anger spiked through my veins and I jumped up from the table, barely remembering to stick my dishes in the sink before leaving the kitchen. I stormed back into my room and shut the door, locking it for the first time since my arrival.

  My phone rang and I looked at the screen to find my sister’s number flashing. Here was another person who thought I didn’t know what was best for little ole me. Well, she
was about to find out just how wrong she was too. My promise to Hank was forgotten as I answered her call and finalized our lunch plans.

  When I left my bedroom ten minutes later Hank was on his cell phone. He was pacing around the living room and nodding at whatever he was being told. I waved at him but didn’t talk and he immediately pulled the phone from his ear.

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Yeah, just for a couple of hours. I’ll be back this afternoon.”

  He huffed out a breath and put the phone back to his ear as I opened the front door.

  “Don’t tell Sean yes on his house just yet, sweetheart. Not until we can talk about this some more. Maybe sit down and plan it out…okay?”

  I wanted to argue but the pleading in his gaze stopped me. He was really, honest-to-god upset about me moving out. His expression tugged on my heartstrings and I found myself nodding in agreement before realizing I meant to.

  “Okay,” I said before walking out the door.

  It took twenty minutes to get to the small diner where I’d agreed to meet my sister. Cheryl was older than me by three years and she never let me forget it. Her light-blonde hair was teased up an inch above her head in a halo any true Southern woman would be proud of. Light-blue eye shadow ringed the space above both eyes and out to her hairline. Her eyebrows were perfectly shaped and her false eyelashes looked authentic to the untrained eye. She was Southern Barbie from head to toe, just as she had been my whole life.

  “Elle! Yoohoo, Elle, over here.”

  She waved one long-fingered hand in the air as if I could possibly miss her among the blue-collar workers filling up the place. I just pasted on a smile and made my way to the booth she had commandeered for our late breakfast meeting. I didn’t dare tell her I’d already eaten, but instead ordered a fruit cup and ice water. One brow rose when I placed my order but she didn’t say a thing.

  “So, sister dear, how are things going in that man’s house?”

  I rolled my eyes and sipped my water, wondering why she never bothered to use Hank’s name. It was amazing how quickly she and my mother had taken to Declan. And after winning their loyalty he’d been able to keep it with random visits and well-timed gifts. They hadn’t actually met Hank yet because he was angry at them over Declan.