A Man Apart

by Joan Hohl

  Sure, she had agreed to spend a few days of mutual pleasure with him, Justin conceded. And the pleasure had been mutual, of that he had no doubt. For a man who had not so much as stayed a full night with a woman since his marriage ended, the pleasure had been intense, teeth-clenching ecstasy. As for Hannah, well Justin felt certain that not even the most skilled of actresses could have faked the depth of her response.

  Still, their shared desire, and compatibility out of bed, had not kept her from leaving when she said she would.

  Without saying it aloud, she had made it abundantly clear that she had a life back east and she wasn’t about to change it. Her determination to leave was unshakable. Despite his murmured plea for her to stay a while longer and the implied enticement of his last kiss, she had whispered a farewell, slid behind the wheel of her rental vehicle and driven away without looking back.

  Unaware of heaving a heavy sigh, Justin stared out the window. The blizzard had long since blown itself out, but the temperature had not risen above the twenties since then. The snow remained, the unrelenting wind driving it into five-foot and higher snowbanks.

  Damn, other than the inconvenience of getting back and forth from the house to the stables, Justin had never minded the snow before. What in hell was wrong with him?

  “Why don’t you take a vacation?” Ben’s voice broke through Justin’s thoughts. “Someplace where the sun’s shining and the temp’s in the eighties. Find yourself a woman. You’re workin’ on my nerves, and you’re starting to worry Karla.”

  “I’m working on your nerves and making Karla edgy?” Justin said in a soft, tightly controlled voice to keep from snarling at the man. “Maybe you and Karla are the ones needing a sun-filled vacation.”

  “Not us,” Ben denied. “Karla and I are happy here, sunshine or not.”

  Justin lifted an eyebrow. “And you think I’m not?”

  “Oh, gimme a break, Justin. I’ve known you a long time, remember?” Ben shook his head. “In all that time I have never seen you like this, stalking about the house, staring out the window, sighing every couple minutes, not even when Angie took off with that smooth creep.”

  “I sigh every couple of minutes?” Justin drawled in feigned amusement, feeling a twinge of alarm and ignoring the reference to his ex, because that wasn’t important. The strange sensation was. “I’ll think about it,” he said, ending the conversation by turning back to the window.

  “Okay, I can take a hint,” Ben said with a short laugh of resignation. “I’ll mind my own business.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  Justin only vaguely heard Ben’s chuckle as he left the room. Staring out, he didn’t see the barren scene of winter white on the other side of the window. An image had formed in his mind, an image Hannah had drawn for him with her description of Pennsylvania. The verbal picture she had given him was of a different landscape, a vision of rolling countryside, lush and green, bathed in sparkling spring sunlight.

  Blinking, he frowned, then turned and strode to his bedroom. Going to his desk he opened his personal laptop, and went onto the Net. He had some research to do.

  Several hours later Justin shut down the computer and picked up the phone to call the company pilot in charge of the ranch’s helicopter. After asking the pilot to pick him up at the pad a short distance from the house, he pulled a bag from the closet and dumped enough clothes into it to last him a couple of days.

  Following the near ennui he had been experiencing since he had returned from Deadwood, the rush of anticipation he was feeling was invigorating.

  Justin placed another call before striding briskly from his room. He had what he figured was an interesting and potentially very profitable idea he needed to discuss with his brother, Adam.

  His battery recharged, Justin gave a brief explanation to Ben as he drove him to the landing pad. The chopper was already there, blades slicing through the frigid air.

  “Not to worry,” Ben assured him. “I’ll take good care of the horses.”

  “I know you will.” With a wave goodbye, Justin headed for the helicopter.

  “By the way,” Ben yelled over the roar of the spinning blades. “You look and sound like your old self again.”

  Near the end of the second week of February, Hannah faced up to the suspicions she had been mentally dodging for close to a week, suspicions induced by the vague feeling of queasiness she had in the morning, the slight tenderness in her breasts. Needing more proof than just symptoms, she stopped by a pharmacy on her way home from work.

  The strip from the particular home pregnancy kit she had purchased turned the positive color. Not an altogether complete confirmation, Hannah knew. There had been cases where the strip results had proved wrong, but…it definitely required a visit to her doctor.

  How could it have happened? Not even in their most heated, impromptu and wild love play, had Justin forgotten to use protection.

  Of course, no one ever claimed the protective sheaths were infallible, Hannah mused as she studied the inside of her freezer, trying to decide what to have for dinner.

  Having heated in the microwave the frozen meal she’d chosen Hannah sat in front of it, considering the options available to her should her doctor’s examination prove conclusive.

  Sliding the plate aside, Hannah laid her fork on the place mat and picked up the cup of green tea she had brewed for her dinner beverage, instead of her usual coffee.

  Coffee. She sighed. She loved coffee, especially in the morning, all morning…several cups of coffee, regular, not decaf.

  Hannah knew she would have to forgo her favorite drink if she decided to-

  Oh, hell. Hannah took another sip of the tea. It wasn’t bad tasting. It wasn’t coffee, but actually was rather good as far as substitutes went.

  That is, unless she chose an alternative. The thought set a wave of nausea roiling in her stomach. She gulped the tea in hopes of quelling the sensation.

  She couldn’t do it. Though she supported a woman’s right to choose any of the options, Hannah knew that she really had only one option. Should the doctor confirm her pregnancy, Hannah was going to have a baby.

  A baby. Visions of soft blankets and tiny booties danced through Hannah’s mind. A fierce rush of protectiveness shot through her, and she slid a hand down over her flat belly.

  Her child.

  Justin’s child.

  The sudden realization was both thrilling and somewhat frightening. How to tell him?

  Justin had been up-front with her from the beginning. He had wanted nothing from her except a brief physical affair. Their affair had been the most wonderful experience Hannah had ever known. Of course, she hadn’t considered the possibility of falling in love with him.

  Over the days they had been together, Hannah had learned a lot about Justin. Yet at times she felt she hardly knew him at all.

  As a lover, she couldn’t imagine anyone his equal. There were moments when his voice was so tender, his touch so gentle it brought tears to her eyes while at the same time setting her body on fire. And there were other times when his voice was raw and ragged, his touch urgent, his lovemaking fierce and demanding.

  And Hannah had reveled in every minute of both approaches.

  Then there were the periods when all they did was talk, sometimes teasingly, other times seriously.

  Hannah had learned that Justin was honest to a fault. When he shared something of himself with her he was blunt and to the point. Not a bad quality to possess. She knew a woman had betrayed his trust and that he had no intention of walking that route again.

  She also knew Justin liked kids. He had confessed to Hannah that he adored his niece, Becky. But Justin had never mentioned a desire for children of his own, other than to say his ex had wanted to wait a while before starting a family.

  If the doctor confirmed her pregnancy, Hannah didn’t know whether or not to inform Justin. After all, she reasoned, if Justin had any interest in a child of his own, he wouldn’t have been so s
crupulous about protection.

  For all the good it had done them.

  Still, he had a right to know he had fathered a child. It was her duty, as an honest person, to let him know.

  She just didn’t know how to tell him.

  Nine

  Valentine’s Day. The day for lovers. Hannah not only didn’t leave work early, she worked over an hour later than usual. She even skipped lunch. Tired, only vaguely hungry, and not so much as considering a restaurant, especially on this special day for sweethearts, she went straight home.

  Her heart skipped many beats as she stepped from the condo’s elevator to find Justin propped languidly against her door. A bag was on the floor next to his crossed ankles.

  The bag, along with the very sight of him filled her with a flash of hope that he had come to Philadelphia because he realized that they belonged together.

  Gathering her senses, and applying her common sense almost at once, Hannah told herself to play it cool until she heard from his lips the words she desperately longed to hear. How easy it would be for her to then tell him of her pregnancy suspicions.

  Heaven help her, he looked…wonderful, like the horseman he was. With his Stetson, heavy wool jacket, jeans and slant-heeled boots, he looked exactly as he had the first time she’d seen him.

  “Hi.”

  The low, intimate timbre of his voice nearly stopped her breathing completely. Damn his gorgeous hide. She had to repeat to herself her cautioning advice to play it cool.

  “Hi.” Hannah was amazed by the steadiness of her own voice, her ability to speak at all, as her throat was suddenly dry. “What are you doing here?” Door key at the ready, she aimed it at the key hole. No minor feat, considering the tremor shaking her fingers.

  “I came to see you. Are you going to invite me in?”

  “Yes, of course, come on in.” Hannah walked inside with as much decorum as she could muster. “I didn’t mean what were you doing here, at my apartment,” she said, not sure if she was making conversation, or babbling on in response to the sudden attack of nervousness coursing through her. “I meant what are you doing here, in Philadelphia?”

  “Well,” he said, grinning as he shrugged out of his jacket, removed his hat, “I wanted to see you. Though that isn’t the only reason I’m here, in the northeast.”

  Hannah’s spirits soared at first, then took a nosedive, her hopes going down in flames. Still, she maintained her composure and took his jacket and hat and hung them away in the coat closet. The flight bag she set behind the nearby chair.

  “I see.” She tried to match his casual tone and didn’t quite make it. “Well, I’m glad you stopped by,” she said, dredging up a shaky smile to hide the sting of pain burning inside. “So,” she held on to her smile for dear life. “Why else have you come east?”

  “I’ll tell you after dinner…” Justin hesitated, frowning. “You haven’t had dinner, have you?”

  “No,” Hannah shook her head. “I worked late and didn’t feel up to the crowds in the restaurants tonight.”

  “Oh.” He nodded, then raised a dark brow. “You eat out often?”

  Hannah wanted to scream at him. Didn’t the man know that it was Valentine’s Day? And what difference did it make to him whether or not she ate out often? This was only an afterthought visit, anyway.

  “Occasionally,” she answered, smothering the curse and a sigh. She gestured for him to sit down. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked, too politely, certain that if he said coffee she’d throw up.

  “No, thanks.” He sat down on the plush lounge chair. “I’ll wait for dinner.”

  Did he actually expect her to cook for him? He’d wait until the cows came home, she fumed, using one of her father’s favorite expressions. Hannah gave him a level stare and mirrored his eyebrow action. “I hope you realize that there will probably be long lines at all the better restaurants tonight,” she said, making it perfectly clear she had no intention of providing a meal for him.

  “I don’t need a restaurant.” His smile was knowing, making her aware he understood her unsubtle hint. “I’ve ordered dinner to be delivered here.”

  The audacity of the man. Why didn’t it surprise her? Everything inside him radiated audacity and…and…sheer male sensuality.

  Stop that train of thought immediately, you dimwit, Hannah ordered herself. Stick to the subject at hand. “How did you know I’d be in town?”

  “I didn’t.” Justin shrugged, then laughed that deep, thrilling, damnably exciting laugh that set her pulses racing. “But I figured I’d take a chance. I’ll tell you all about why I’m here while we eat.”

  “But…” Hannah began to ask him how he had gotten past the security guard in the lobby, only to be interrupted by the buzz on the intercom from that very same man.

  “There’s our dinner,” Justin said, moving to the intercom beside the door. “I’ll take care of this. You go set the table.”

  You go set the table, Hannah grumbled to herself, whirling around to do as he ordered. As he ordered. Who the devil did he think he was?

  Hannah had finished setting the table except for the water glasses she had retrieved from the cabinet. But she didn’t know whether he wanted water with whatever it was he had ordered for dinner or if he’d prefer wine, which of course, she couldn’t have. She set one glass on the table and was filling the other glass for herself from the refrigerator’s water dispenser when she heard him open the door and speak to a delivery man. The distinct aroma of pizza wafted through the apartment.

  To her amazement, instead of bringing on a wave of queasiness, the smell made her mouth water and her stomach rumble with hunger.

  Carrying a large pizza box with one hand and a white paper bag in the other, Justin walked jauntily into the kitchen, his smile more appetizing than the smell of the food.

  “Dinner is served, madam,” he said, carefully sliding the box onto the table. “This,” he added, holding the bag aloft, “is our dessert.”

  Someday, maybe, hopefully, you’ll get your just dessert for being such a rogue, Hannah thought, but simply asked aloud, “What do you want to drink to go with it?”

  “Beer?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She turned to the fridge.

  “Beer with the pizza, and coffee with dessert.”

  Her stomach twitched in protest. Wishing he hadn’t mentioned her previously favorite beverage, Hannah took a can of beer from the fridge and moved to the table to reach for the glass at his place.

  “I don’t need a glass,” Justin said with a dismissive wave of his hand, popping the top while seating himself in the chair opposite hers. “Sit down and serve the pizza.”

  Starting to seriously resent his assumed right to order her around, Hannah fixed him with a fuming look. “You know, you could have served it while I was getting your beer.”

  “No, I couldn’t,” he said with a smile, indicating the box with a nod of his head. “The opening’s in front of you. And in case you haven’t noticed, the lid’s taped shut.”

  Hannah couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh at his obvious teasing, or toss her glass of water at him. She did neither. Drawing the box closer, she broke the paper tape and lifted the lid.

  The delicious aroma hit her first, making her almost groan with hunger. Then two other factors struck her, making her gasp in surprise. The large crust had been worked into a heart shape, and the words, Sweet Hannah, had been formed with small slices of pepperoni.

  She laughed with delight. It was the strangest, most wonderful Valentine’s gift she had ever received. “Wherever did you get this?” she asked.

  “The pizzeria a couple of blocks down. I told the counter man what I had in mind. Turns out, he owns the place and he smacked his hand against his forehead and said, and I quote, ‘Why didn’t I think of that? I coulda made a bundle.’ I told him to keep it in mind for next year.” He grinned. “Are you ever going to serve it?”

  Hannah pulled a sad face. “Must I?”
/>
  “Only if you want to eat…and don’t want me to starve to death at your kitchen table.”

  “Well, in that case, I suppose I’d better.” Laughing, if rather weakly, Hannah scooped up a slice and slid it onto his plate. “May I ask what gave you the idea in the first place?” she said, serving herself a slice.

  “Hmm.” Nodding, Justin murmured around the big bite he’d taken into his mouth. “I came up with the idea when I decided I wasn’t in the mood to stand on line at a restaurant, at a candy store or a florist,” he said after swallowing. “Hey, this is pretty good.” He followed that with a swig of beer. “And I wasn’t in the mood because I was tired after driving around since early this morning.” He took another big bite.

  Ready to bite into the slice she had served herself, Hannah paused, unable to resist asking, “Why have you been driving since early this morning…and where?”

  Before responding to her questions, Justin polished off his slice and held his plate out for another. His hesitation wasn’t because he was that hungry, although he was, but because he was carefully choosing the words of his explanation.

  “Actually, I’ve been driving around for two days. I flew into Baltimore the day before yesterday.” Justin couldn’t miss the tightness that stiffened Hannah’s spine, so he rushed on. “I picked up my rental car, checked into a hotel, then went to keep an appointment with a real estate agent.”

  She frowned. “Here? In Baltimore?”

  “Yes. You see, I’m doing some scouting for Adam. We’re thinking of investing in a horse farm here in the East, to breed Thoroughbreds. The agent found farms available in several states and set up appointments for me.”

  “What states? And why here in the East?” she asked, frowning.

  “Maggie told me there were a lot of horse farms out here.” He answered her second question first.

  “Well, Maggie should know,” Hannah said. “She was born in Berks County.”