Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Jessica) BBW Bear Shifter Menage Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 8)

by Ariana Hawkes

  And now she had the opposite problem – they’d both come back to her, and both wanted to be with her. Forever.

  The after effects of Lucas’ touch still crackled through her veins like a current of electricity. A couple of hours earlier, she’d felt the same about Christian.

  How was she ever going to choose between them? If she chose one of them, she’d lose the other one as a friend. Then how could she ever be happy in a relationship with either one of them? She imagined herself wracked with guilt all the time. Maybe I need a clean break. Leave these guys to their friendship and Shiftr and step away. I could live in another country. It doesn’t have to be London. But the thought of that hurt a lot too. She thought about Lucas’ words in the airport, his assertion that he was closer to her than Christian. Was it true? Did she share more intimacies with him? No. It wasn’t. She shared different things with him. The two guys fit the different sides of her personality equally well, and there had been many things she shared with only one of them. She began to wonder whether there had been something duplicitous in her actions, however unconscious they’d been. Creating these confidences with each of them, making them feel like they were her sole confidant. Had she been leading them on the whole time, making each one of them believe that they would ultimately be her partner? A hot flood of shame washed through her.

  And then she turned on her back, watched the colonial-style ceiling fan whirring around. No. I never led them on. We were just friends. I never acted in a sexual or romantic way toward them. I was quite innocent in those days. Innocent, nerdy, and in love with the star of our favorite sci-fi TV show. She giggled to herself. It was probably her fixation with Callum Mathers that had prevented her from noticing that her two best friends were highly desirable men.

  The weekend passed in a similar vein, her feelings changing every few minutes. But there was not one moment when she was certain that either of the guys was a better match for her than the other. She was grateful to be alone in the cool, dark house, wrestling with her dilemma.

  Several times she was on the point of calling Christian and asking him how his father was, but she stopped herself, knowing it would only make things worse. And what he needed from her, more than anything, was her answer.

  She slept like someone with a fever, waking often, tossing from side to side, getting all tangled up in the sheets.

  When the alarm went off early on Monday morning, she sat bolt upright, knowing what she had to do. If she couldn’t make a decision based on her own happiness, then she should choose Christian, and help him keep his clan together. At least then I’ll know that I’m doing something good. Lucas will hate me, but at least he’ll understand that he wasn’t being rejected because I liked him less.

  She got ready for work slowly, a heavy weight pressing on her shoulders, while trying her best to respond to Tamika’s relentlessly cheerful questions during breakfast.

  For the first time ever, she wasn’t looking forward to being in the Shiftr office. The morning dragged, and all she could think about was how Lucas was going to react when she told him that she’d chosen Christian.

  At lunch time, Tamika came up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

  “How are you doing, hun? Shall we have lunch together today? I’ve missed seeing you all weekend,” she said, and just like that, Jessica fell apart again.

  “Oh dear. What’s happened?” Tamika exclaimed, her voice full of empathy. “I hope it’s not shifter trouble?” Jessica nodded miserably, snatching at a box of tissues on the far side of her desk. Tamika hugged her tight, rubbing her back soothingly. “It’s okay. I’ll order some food, so we can sit in here and have some privacy, and you can tell me all about it. I’m sure it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Any shifter would be lucky to have someone as amazing as you.” Jessica started sobbing again, the irony of Tamika’s words too much for her to cope with.

  Tamika ordered sushi and they went over to the sofas.

  “It’s about Christian and Lucas. I’m in love with them both. And they both want to be with me,” Jessica blurted out. Tamika clapped her hands together.

  “I must admit that I’ve already seen the 100% compatibility rating for them both,” she said.

  “You have?”

  “I hope you don’t think it was intrusive for me to look, but I care so much about my dear niece’s happiness, and I was so excited to see who you’ve been matched with.”

  “Of course I don’t think it was intrusive,” Jessica said, and she told the whole story of the friendship between the three of them, explaining how close they’d been, how Christian had kissed her once, but she’d conveniently forgotten about it. How broken she’d been when their parents took them away from London. She explained that Christian’s father was very sick, and told her that Christian had asked her to be his mate.

  When she finished, Tamika’s eyes were huge.

  “My goodness, what a passionate tale, my dear,” she said. “It’s like something from a classic novel.” Jessica laughed but it came out as a snuffle. “How exciting to be in a love triangle,” Tamika continued. “You’ll be the envy of many a woman.”

  “If you’d told me a few weeks ago that I’d soon have two men competing to be my mate, I would’ve thought it was really cool. But it doesn’t feel exciting. It feels awful actually.”

  “That’s because you’re not looking outside the box, my dear. You’re thinking in narrow human terms.”

  “I am?” Tamika nodded wisely. Jessica peered at her through her bangs.

  “Then how should I be thinking?” Tamika flashed her a dazzling grin.

  “That I cannot tell you. You need to figure it out by yourself.” Jessica frowned, uncomprehending.

  “I’ll tell you what, dear. I can spare you this afternoon. Take yourself out on an excursion. Go for a drive around Hope Valley, or go hike up the mountain. Or just go sit in a bar and have a couple of cocktails. Forget about human conventions, and think whether there isn’t a solution that could make all of you happy.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Go on,” Tamika wafted her toward the door. “Take as much time as you need, but don’t come back until you’ve got some good news for me,” she said with a wink.

  Chapter Nine

  Jessica got into her car and drove aimlessly for a while, repeating Tamika’s words to herself. What did she mean by ‘looking outside the box’? She couldn’t make any sense of it.

  Not yet fully acquainted with Hope Valley, she ended up at the foot of the mountain more by chance than intention. She considered hiking, as Tamika had suggested, but she was hardly dressed for it, and the afternoon sun was still fierce enough to burn her fair skin. Instead, she drove along a narrow, winding track that led up to a viewing point a few hundred yards up the mountain.

  “Wow,” she said aloud as she arrived at the plateau and climbed out of her car. The view of Hope Valley was unbelievable, all the rooftops bathed in the warm, golden glow of late afternoon. It was a very clear day, and she could see for miles, all the way to the next town. The sky was pale blue, and a slight breeze lifted the loose skirt of her dress. She had the entire viewing area to herself, and it made her want to do something crazy. She spun around, holding her arms out to the sides until she was dizzy. And then she sat down on a bench and tried to pick out the various landmarks of the town. She had an overwhelming sense of freedom, of being closer to nature up here. “The spiritual sun,” she murmured. And then she checked herself. When had she said that before? Standing up high on another hill, a long time ago? She racked her brain.

  It was in London, on one of the highest hills of the city. There was an inscription on a low wall that surrounded a paved area where people gathered to look at the view. A quote by a famous poet from hundreds of years ago, about the spiritual sun. The memory came back to her, as sharp as a cut diamond.

  It had been a freezing cold, yet sunny winter’s day, the sky as cloudless as it was now. The view across London was breathtaki
ng – the skyscrapers, St Paul’s Cathedral, and the river Thames sparkling silver, far in the distance. She’d been with Christian and Lucas and they’d been trying to fly kites, but the wind wasn’t right, and they kept falling out of the sky. They were about to abandon their attempts and walk back down the hill, but suddenly the wind picked up. She snatched up one of the kites and ran with it right to the highest point of the hill, and the wind caught it and carried it up high in the sky. She held her hands absolutely still, not wanting to ruin it, and the wind lashed mercilessly at her body.

  “Oh my god, I’m so cold!” she yelled. Her coat was open, but her hands were busy with the kite and she couldn’t close it. Lucas and Christian ran up to her laughing, and bear hugged her, one from in front and one from behind. Sandwiched between them, she was no longer cold at all. And the feeling of having her face pressed against Lucas’ chest, and her back resting against Christian’s chest was amazing. It feels like home, she’d thought. And it was such an odd thought that she’d immediately dismissed it, and put it in her mental box of long-forgotten memories. But now it blazed up in her mind again. What a perfect moment – bathed in London’s chill winter sunlight, and surrounded by the warmth of the two guys that she cared about so much.

  “That’s the answer!” she exclaimed to the breeze, and all the tension of the past few days dissolved. She knew in her heart that she’d stumbled on the truth. She just needed to speak with Tamika to find out if that was what she’d had in mind.

  Chapter Ten

  Tamika’s eyes sparkled as Jessica described the experience she’d just had.

  “That’s exactly the conclusion I hoped you’d reach for yourself,” she exclaimed, squeezing Jessica’s shoulders.

  “So it’s possible?” Jessica said.

  “It is. It’s not very common, but there are definitely a few here and there. Usually the result of situations like your own. I haven’t yet matched any triads myself, but I’ve always hoped I’d have the opportunity one day.”

  “And Christian’s parents will agree to it?” Tamika nodded.

  “An alpha-triad mating is regarded very positively in the shifter world, since it will mean that there are two heads of the clan, making it doubly strong. I can’t imagine them having an issue with it.” Jessica’s cheeks warmed at the question she was about to ask.

  “And how will the guys feel about sharing me?” she said. Tamika gave a throaty laugh.

  “Well, that’s one for you to think about. As you know, shifters are very hot-blooded. But as long as you can keep them both satisfied, then I’m sure they’ll be very happy with the arrangement. Shifters don’t suffer the petty jealousies that we humans are prone to. And from what I’ve heard about your two bears, they’ll see it as a far better option than not getting to be with you at all.”

  *

  When Jessica arrived at Lucas’ place, it was already dark. He wasn’t expecting her, but she wanted to give him the news in person. She got out of her car and walked along the pathway to his cabin. And then she screamed at the sight of a huge dark shape lunging from the darkness and coming toward her at high speed.

  The shape froze at the sound, and she glimpsed sharp white teeth and glittering eyes. Then there was an earsplitting crack, followed by a series of loud crunches, a kind of whooshing sound, and suddenly, Lucas stood before her, stark naked, both hands covering his manhood. Desire fizzed in the pit of her stomach, quickly spreading all over her body. He really was a stunningly handsome man. Could he really be mine? she wondered.

  “Jessica! I’m so sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

  “That’s okay,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I did turn up unannounced.”

  “Come in, please, but go ahead of me and wait downstairs while I go and put something on.”

  She did as he asked, sitting on his couch, legs crossed in an effort to dispel the arousal raging through her body.

  He came down minutes later in a pale blue, button-down shirt and khaki pants. His hair was damp and he smelled of sandalwood-scented soap.

  “Sorry for the delay. I really needed to shower after running through the woods,” he said.

  “Don’t worry,” she replied, looking at him curiously. Now that she was permitting herself to see him as a sexual being, her need for him was almost uncontrollable. For his part, he was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her alive.

  “Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked, leaning close to her.

  “I’ve found a solution that I think you’ll both be happy with.”

  “Is it –?” he started to say, but she cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips.

  “I need to tell you both at the same time. It’s only fair.” He nodded.

  “Christian says he won’t be back for a while. He can’t leave the clan at a time like this.”

  “Then we’ll have to go to him.” Jessica took her phone out and opened the flight finder app. “If we leave right now, we should be able to catch the last flight to Collinsville.” She was already walking toward the door.

  “Jessica, wait. Should we not go in the morning instead?”

  “No. Let’s go. I feel bad enough at making him wait so long for my answer when his dad’s so sick.”

  “Right.” Lucas was fast on her heels, and they were soon on the highway, heading to the airport.

  They made the flight just in time. Jessica was surprised to feel so sleepy as the plane took off. It was all the emotional tension of the past few days, she thought, as her eyelids became heavier and heavier. She only woke as it began to descend, and discovered that she was slumped against Lucas’ chest, and his arm was wrapped around her protectively.

  She looked up at him, and was startled to see that he was gazing at her, a tender expression on his face.

  “Jessica, you’re not bringing me here to break my heart, are you?” he muttered. She snapped wide awake.

  “Of course not,” she replied, and was overcome with a wave of tenderness for this strong, sensitive man. “I truly think we’ll all be happy with what I have to suggest.”

  *

  They took a taxi to the edge of the forest at Wynter Hollow, as Jessica had done several days earlier. Then she followed Lucas through the dark woods. From time to time he paused to hold branches aside for her, or to warn her about uneven footing. When they came within sight of the property, he stopped and took a deep sniff of the air.

  “What is it?

  “Something’s off.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Listen a moment.” She froze and strained her ears.

  “I think I can hear something, but I’m not sure,” she whispered. He took her hand and walked another ten steps.

  “There are intruders in the territory. I can scent another clan. Those lowdown, dirty dogs!” he spat. They must’ve discovered that Christian’s father is sick, and they’re taking the opportunity to attack when their defenses are down.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I know this clan. They’re not welcome here, so it isn’t a social call. They’ll be preparing an ambush. I know how they work.” Jessica pulled out her phone. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m telling Christian. Don’t worry, my phone’s on silent.”

  “Good idea.”

  She messaged him and he replied moments later. If he was surprised that the two of them were in Wynter Hollow, he didn’t mention it:

  I thought as much. We caught wind of them a while ago. I’ve gathered the clan in the property. They’ll be relying on us being unprepared, so we’re going to take them by surprise in return.

  Jessica replied:

  We’re coming now.

  “Jess, you’re not going anywhere. It’s too dangerous,” Lucas said in a panicked tone. “But I can’t leave you here either.” He paused, weighing up the different options. “I’ll take you back to where the taxi left us. I’m going to shift now, so we won’t be able to speak again. But I want you to
stay there until you hear from us. Don’t come back to the property under any circumstances. It’s very dangerous. If you don’t hear back within an hour, I want you to call a taxi and go stay in a motel. Can you promise me that?” Jessica was taken aback by the seriousness in his tone, and the awareness of how much danger Christian was in fully hit home.

  “Yes,” she whispered, trembling in fear. Lucas’ eyes softened and he stroked her face. “Don’t be scared. We’ll be back before you know it, and you’ll be safe out by the road.” Impulsively, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. “We’ll all be together, very soon,” he whispered. And then he stepped away from her.

  She watched, dazed, as he stripped his clothes off, and his bear burst out of him, huge and threatening. Its jaws opened wide in a silent roar, and its massive muscles bunched beneath its dense fur. She ran over and vaulted onto his back, and he began to move immediately, running surefooted through the woods. She clung tight to his back, comforted by the soft fur and the power of his body.

  He came to a stop at the edge of the wood and she slipped off, understanding that she had to be quick and not hold him back.

  “Be safe,” she called. The bear met her eyes. They were the eyes of an intelligent animal, but they were also Lucas’ eyes – gray-blue and full of depth. He gave a long, low purr, and bounded off into the woods. Jessica watched Lucas’ retreating back, hugging herself. The night was very warm, but she was shivering from fear. All kinds of awful thoughts ran through her mind. The thought of either of them being hurt made her feel physically sick. To comfort herself, she took her phone out and read Christian’s last message again:

  Don’t worry, little one. We’ll never let anything happen to you.

  But it wasn’t herself she was worried about. She looked into the woods, hoping for a glimpse of them, but saw only unfathomable blackness.