Treading Water (Forgotten Soldier Book 2)

by Jessie G

  “Last I heard, sir, you fell into that category,” Shane couldn’t resist teasing. They’d known each other a long time and he knew Chief wasn’t a fan of what he called pompous circumstance. He was of the mind that a sharp salute wasn’t the way to measure a soldier’s worth. To an eager to please recruit, that had been a challenge Shane couldn’t ignore. All he wanted to do was prove himself, to excel and have someone recognize his efforts. Now that he was older, he realized that need wasn’t unique in the military and figured Chief had seen more than his fair share of angry young men searching for that elusive purpose.

  “Sir?” Salt and pepper brows winged up like two points over narrowed eyes, making him look like an evil clown, and Shane had to bite back a smile. That expression used to be intimidating and he thought it prudent to let Chief go on believing it still was. “Are you trying to earn a reprimand?”

  Shane just grinned and looked back at the Sean. “Not me, but I can’t speak for Mr. Center of Attention over there.”

  “We wouldn’t have him any other way.” Chief hadn’t always been so accepting of Sean’s outrageous behavior, but he knew when to pick his battles. Sean was a damn fine sailor who always came through when it mattered and the team trusted him implicitly. In the end, that was the true measure of a soldier’s worth. “I’m gonna give him a rash of shit, then we’ll have our meeting. Good deal?”

  Like he had a choice in either? “Of course.”

  Shane watched from a distance and wasn’t surprised when Sean’s expression turned mutinous. Nothing had prepared him for Sean’s insecurity or his belief that he was only safe when they were all together. It was unrealistic in general and absurd considering what Sean was trained to do, and there was no easy way for Shane to alleviate it. He couldn’t ignore a direct order from a superior, but could he prove that Sean was still capable of defending himself from the chair?

  “All right, let’s walk.” When Chief returned, he gestured toward the outer doors and didn’t stop until they hit sunshine. There he paused just long enough to fill his lungs with fresh air before heading off toward the jetty, leaving Shane no choice except to follow. “Not sure why they prefer that processed air over the ocean breeze, but I’ll take this any day.”

  Pushing Sean’s issue on the back burner, Shane turned over Chief’s words for hidden clues. Had they ever just walked and made small talk? It wasn’t how he expected their meeting to go, but he knew better than to push his own agenda. All he could do was let it play out and hope for the best.

  “I wasn’t sure how I’d like being on the island, but it’s definitely grown on me.” Shane didn’t add that those first few months had been lonely. He wasn’t gregarious like Sean or genuinely nice like Julian, and befriending people at work felt like a commitment he didn’t want to make. Much like his prior lovers, Shane didn’t want to get that deep with just anyone, especially because he had no intention of sticking around. Key West was supposed to be temporary, not home.

  The Sandy Feet Inn had instantly expanded his world and the intimate atmosphere made everyone seem like a friend, at least for the duration of their stay. Those temporary friendships were fun and fleeting, allowing him to engage without having to share too much of himself, and he understood what Julian got out of it. A constant parade of acquaintances that only wanted to have fun and never brought more baggage than it took to carry their bathing suit, sunscreen, and flip flops.

  “Yeah? Will you tell my wife? I’ve been trying to convince her that we need to retire here, but she thinks the grandkids won’t visit. I say we’ll never be able to get rid of them.” The gruff, disgruntled tone was only slightly more believable than the evil clown eyebrows.

  “Sean always said he’d retire down here and buy a charter boat.” Remembering those brainstorming sessions was bittersweet. Sean hadn’t mentioned it and Shane prayed he hadn’t given up. With the right modifications, there was no reason they couldn’t do it…if Sean wasn’t so opposed to adapting. “Seemed like a good idea to tag along, if for no other reason than to keep him out of trouble.”

  Shane had been joking, mostly, but Chief nodded solemnly. “You’ve taken that on as a full-time job, haven’t you? You and the cousin. Julian, is it?”

  “That’s right.” Julian was Sean’s cousin, but he was also Shane’s partner, lover, and future. So, why couldn’t he say that aloud?

  “I’ve been reading up on his medical reports and I have to admit, I had no idea how involved you were in his recovery.” Chief knew him well enough that Shane wasn’t sure why he was so shocked or why he felt the need to say so. Was he just being conversational or was there a purpose? “You look surprised that someone recognized how hard you’re working to keep Sean together.”

  “I’m surprised that this is what you want to talk about.” No matter how hard he tried, Shane couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice. “Sean needed my help, it’s just that simple.”

  “That’s very commendable, but in your haste to help Sean, you forgot to help yourself.” Chief stopped abruptly and looked around before stepping closer. Though there wasn’t anyone close enough to hear, he lowered his voice and hissed, “You’ve been so consumed with Sean’s needs, that you completely disregarded the reason you were on this island to begin with. When I recommended you for the position here, I thought we agreed that you would make every effort to return to full duty. Every fucking effort.”

  Shane blanched. There was no denying he pushed his shoulder in Jacksonville, but he’d been granted leave for the sole purpose of helping Sean. Things only became more hectic once he returned to work and…and what? The Navy didn’t care about excuses. He could go down the to-do list of his life, but Shane couldn’t deny that his physical therapist was in the same building as Sean’s. Three times a week, he was right there and never even pretended to try. That failure to comply not only risked his shoulder, it put him and Chief in a very tenuous position.

  “Yes, exactly,” Chief agreed as if he could read Shane’s thoughts and he found his intimidation stare to back it up.

  Shane knew what the proper response was, but even though it would likely result in a reprimand that could end his career, he couldn’t find a single regret. For Sean, physical therapy equaled disappointment and there were times when it took them the rest of the day to talk him around. Worse than that, Shane wasn’t certain they were succeeding. All the signs of depression were there and he refused to let his best friend become a statistic. If that meant walking away from an eighteen-year career in disgrace, he’d do that. Didn’t know it until just that moment, but he would.

  “Sir, I—”

  “Stop before you say something you can’t take back,” Chief warned, drilling that stare hard before stepping back. Two steps changed his whole demeanor, taking him from pissed off to something Shane couldn’t immediately identify. “The thing is, you’ve got an excuse we can’t ignore and that puts me in an interesting place.”

  What the fuck did that mean? “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

  “We both know I could order an immediate medical evaluation to determine your status. If you haven’t torn that shoulder to shit, they could very well recommend a return to full duty.”

  “Or?” Maybe it was pushing his luck, but the word was hanging in the air like a lifeline and Shane couldn’t resist grasping for it.

  “Or you can stay here in Key West and take care of Sean and—” The dramatic pause made him groan and Chief grinned like that stupid cartoon cat. “—his cousin.”

  “Sir.” Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. “Uh, uhm…how?”

  “I’m going to assume you mean how can I give you this absurdly generous gift and not how you should take care of one Julian Brand.” Yes, he was blushing. He might have even squeaked. How fucking embarrassing, especially when Chief patted him on the back and laughed outright. “Good thing no one was around to hear that.”

  Stunned, all Shane could say was, “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Well, hea
r me out, and then you can thank me. Profusely. With a cigar and a snifter of brandy on the patio of a certain B&B. I hear there’s live music and the food is a must have.”

  And just like that he wanted to take all the guys to meet Julian. Was that possible? He couldn’t spring that surprise on either side, but he wanted it bad enough to ask, “Do the guys know about, uh, Julian?”

  “Do you really think they would have kept their mouths shut if they did? No, they don’t know and, to be honest, I wasn’t a hundred percent certain until just now.” Again, Chief looked thoroughly pleased with himself and Shane decided he didn’t need to know what tipped him off. “You know how they are, Shane, and you already know who’s going to have a problem with it. Do you care?”

  “No.” That was surprisingly easy to say and not something he believed just a short time ago. Where once he feared being outed and losing his military family, now he worried that he was forcing Julian back in the closet. That ability to live out and proud was a huge part of Julian’s personality. He refused to conform or apologize for being true to himself, no matter how often he got knocked down for it. Shane couldn’t say he’d ever been that brave, but he wanted to be for Julian and himself.

  “Ah, there’s that look of resolve I’ve come to rely on. Let’s get the other details out of the way and then we’ll head back so you can share the happy news.” They walked and talked, outlining an expanded position that would allow him to finish out his tenure on the island. It was the generous gift Chief promised, including more responsibility, a raise and most importantly, the ability to stay with Julian and Sean. There was red tape and a mound of paperwork that Chief would grumble about long after they both retired, but Shane would take it.

  “May I ask why?” They were nearing the main building, but he couldn’t let this conversation end without knowing why Chief was jumping through hoops for him. “I let you down and you’re rewarding me for it.”

  “Shane, you have never let me down, not once. From our first meeting, I knew you were someone I could count on and you’ve come through every time.” That kind of high praise from a man he thoroughly respected was the goal Shane strived for his whole life. If it felt implied before, there was nothing to equal the feeling that came with hearing him say it. “While the men in your unit were off getting married, having babies, and maintaining their personal lives, you held the line. You’ve asked for very little in return and I finally have a chance to repay the favor. All I ask for is an invitation to the wedding.”

  “Wait, what?” He really needed to stop squeaking.

  “Dude, you’re getting married?” The excited voice came from behind him and Shane looked around for a hole to crawl into. “Hey, did you guys know Shane was getting married?”

  Sure enough, when he turned around, they were all standing there with Sean moving forward between them. If Shane thought he looked mad before, this was worse…and better. For the first time since the accident, Sean wasn’t thinking about his own issues. They both knew the response wasn’t going to be all solidarity and roses, and Shane had never been prouder than when Sean took the spot at his side.

  That show of support, when he knew Sean wasn’t feeling very confident in himself, made all the difference. Bolstered, Shane faced the men he’d proudly served with and knew exactly what to say.

  “If I were getting married, do you idiots really think I’d tell you?” There was a round of good-natured ribbing and who’s the lucky lady before he held up his hand. “I don’t know how this is normally done, but have you ever seen me with a woman?”

  Shane thought he heard Chief snicker as they watched the dawning realization hit one face after another. There were shared looks and not so whispered rumblings, and more than a little comfort in knowing he was right about their reactions. Still, he wasn’t prepared for the first guy that stepped forward to draw him into a hug that had never ever been part of their professional relationship before. It was downright awkward.

  “Damn it, I knew I should have made my move when I had the chance.” Jasper jerked him forward and clapped him on the back hard enough to earn a grunt. No longer the gangly barely-out-of-his-teens recruit, the highly decorated Lieutenant had filled out well since their boot camp days. “Don’t let their grumbles get to you.”

  The last was whispered and when Jasper stepped back, Shane wanted to laugh at the stunned faces around him. Whatever they might have said to him died in the face of a bombshell from a man that outranked them by a mile. The reprieve was nice, but he would rather clear the air now. “Look, I know this is a shock, but we both know it wasn’t something I could have said all those years ago and I just never found the words since. I never wanted to disappoint you, never wanted you to look at me the way you are right now, and I’m sorry for deceiving you, but I can’t change who I am and I refuse to hide it any longer.”

  “We get it—” Benson grunted when the man behind him pushed his shoulder with a muttered ‘speak for yourself.’ “Excuse me, those of us with half a brain get it. Oswald still lives in the dark ages and doesn’t count. You’ve always done what’s best for the unit and you’ve never given us a reason not to trust you. Who you fuck—” Another shove, this one from Jasper, had him amending, “I mean who you love or like or shake hands with…it doesn’t change who you are.”

  “How can you say that when he didn’t trust us?” Wallace shoved himself forward and right into Shane’s personal space. “After all we’ve been through, did you really think we wouldn’t have your back?”

  Shane considered his words because he didn’t want to get them wrong. Finally, he said, “I thought that most of you would be all right with it, but that it would make some of you uncomfortable, maybe even angry, and that kind of poison would weaken our unit. I couldn’t take that risk. You guys were the only family I had and no matter how I tried to work it out in my head, telling you meant losing you.”

  “And now? This man is so important that you’re willing to risk it.”

  “I hope it doesn’t come to that, but yes. He is.” It had only taken his whole life to make that decision and now that he had, it felt very simple to him.

  Wallace stayed right in his face, but even his broad shoulders couldn’t prevent him from seeing Oswald stomp away. Shane’s only surprise was that he went alone. “He’ll come around or he won’t.”

  And there was nothing Shane could do it about, so all he said was, “It doesn’t change anything.”

  “That’s exactly right, man, because you don’t need our approval to be happy. We didn’t ask for yours, did we?” Wallace clapped him on the shoulder and looked back at the others watching closely. “We want to meet him, make sure he’s good enough for you. Right guys?”

  They were about to have an honest to god meet the family moment. Shane was pretty sure Julian would be thrilled. Right after he kicked his ass.

  It would be totally worth it.

  Chapter 19

  October 2, 2016 - Julian

  “I can’t believe that just happened.” Barely managing to toss his shirt in the direction of the closet, Julian flopped back on the bed and stared up at the wide paddle fan over their bed, still in shock over how quickly everything changed.

  Two days after Shane came home with the amazing news, they finally had the guys over. Julian had never been more exhausted in his life, but seeing the look of wonder on Shane’s face had been worth all the hard work. As always, Esme and the staff totally came through with a feast fit for decorated servicemen, and the guests staying on property had tripped over themselves to make them feel welcome. By the time the last man left—sated on good food, premium cocktails, and more laughter than Julian thought possible—there was no doubt that they’d be back again and again.

  Suddenly, Shane was leaning over him, his face still split in that wondrous smile as he braced a hand on the bed. “Tired, baby?”

  Baby? If this was some alternate reality, Julian didn’t want to ever leave. “I can’t feel my body.”

&
nbsp; “No?” Shane made a show of looking down the length of him thoughtfully. “I think I might be able to help with that.”

  Add ‘Shane found his flirt face’ to the list of things formerly thought impossible. Eyes darkening with want and a smile just shy of making dirty promises, Shane exceeded every fantasy Julian ever had about him…and that was saying a lot. And when Shane leaned down to place a tender kiss on his forehead, whispering his gratitude, Julian fell in love all over again.

  The soft kisses continued to flutter over his eyes, temples, and cheeks before firm lips ghosted over his. Julian melted with a sigh, opening to the gentle assault. One unhurried kiss led to another and as much as his body thrummed for more, Julian was content to let Shane lead. There was never any doubt that he’d take them where they both wanted to go and that the journey would surpass every expectation.

  When Shane finally pulled back, Julian was putty in the big, calloused hands that moved him to a more comfortable position. A pillow found its way beneath his head and then Shane was walking back to the foot of the bed where he stood directly in Julian’s line of sight. “You think you can stay awake long enough for me to thank you properly?”

  Julian opened his mouth to say that thanks—more thanks—weren’t necessary. But then Shane started unbuttoning his shirt and all thoughts of letting him off the hook flew out the window. “I’ll try, but it’s not going to be easy.”

  Shane let his shirt drop to the floor and smirked. “No, it’s definitely going to get harder.”

  Since he was already achingly hard, Julian couldn’t really argue and cheesy Shane was more than he could resist. Naked Shane was better though. Especially, when he took his time getting there. It wasn’t quite a strip show—his man wasn’t there yet—but it was just the right amount of tease and Julian thought he could have laid there all night watching.