I shoved back the writhing warmth surging up from my gut. “We can’t fight an enemy just the two of us, Adi. We need to prepare the children for the fight to come.”
She glanced past me to the others, narrowing her eyes slightly before stepping into my space. Her breath was hot against my neck. “Believe in your precious crew all you want, Tamn. Now you got your bleeding princess back, you be quick to hide your true self again. But never forget I know you. When you’re tired of pretending, come and find me.”
I shivered but didn’t touch her. Instead, I closed my eyes and felt her warmth against me one last time before she left me behind.
It must be this way, can’t you see? I can never let them see…
Adi was right about one thing.
We had to prepare.
* * *
With Qeya at my side, I felt more myself, or at least like the Tamn everyone needed me to be. I could be strong and lead them, for her.
Soon after, once the last of the poison left my body and Qeya had healed any lingering wounds, I started training the children. I could never sit at Arvex’s side on council matters. I was not a politician like my sister’s mate. But I could do what I was born to do best: train warriors.
Gem complained before Qori cuffed her little brother in the ear and told him, “You will train same as the others, unless you want to end up like Menai.” After that he stopped painting his hair with mud and took to lessons more seriously than I had ever seen either twin do before.
Bruv and Kahne were, as usual, the star pupils. Qeya had taken them in hand while I was away on missions with the Pioneer crew in the past. I could see her influence in their cunning. Qeya had always been small, and not just in this lifetime, so she often relied on her wits to win a fight. The children had improved vastly since our time on Datura 3 and I knew it was because they all had Ascended. Even little Jymee, Kahne’s baby brother, showed a disturbing efficiency with his practice scythe.
Qeya often watched as we practiced on the abandoned platform outside my hut. I had claimed this corner of the village because none of the others bothered me here. I had planned to live here alone, but the others visited so often I stared to worry they would move into the other abandoned huts.
Much to my surprise, I hadn’t spent a night alone in my bed since Qeya woke from her Orona sleep. No one said anything if they noticed, not even her brother. Nothing ever happened besides a few innocent kisses and I told myself it was enough if that was all she was willing to give me. She was here and alive and that was more than I had hoped for.
I tried to forget what it felt like to share more with another hunan. I didn’t dare admit, not even to myself, how much I missed—crew.
Adi.
Five nights after the miners left for the caves, I struggled to peel out of my biosuit. My muscles were still sore from walking and climbing without a stick. Since Qeya woke, I had refused to be weak any longer. I pushed my body through scythe exercises each morning when no one was watching. Each night I paid for it.
I managed to strip down to my underclothes and crawl into bed without too much pain. Then I listened to the foreign sounds of the jungle below and the village nearby and waited.
Her shadow fell over me but I pretended not to notice until she, too stripped out of her frayed orange suit and slid into the space between me and the wall. I drank in her scent, my aches and pains calming instantly. When she placed her hand against my bare chest I opened my eyes and smiled.
“Hi,” Qeya tentatively said. The fading light lit her hair afire, but a shadow filled her gaze tonight that I couldn’t ignore.
I slipped a hand to cup her head and ran my thumb over her jawline. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said with a blush and lowered her gaze, lips parting as she stole a sharp breath.
“It is never nothing with you,” I teased. “Come on, you can tell me.” I braced myself, certain this had to do with the miner she had come to rely so much upon. It was my fault I left her behind to depend on him.
It should have been me. If I had been there, it would have been me.
Qeya silenced my thoughts with her piercing gaze. “It’s just…they have been gone for many days and we still haven’t heard word.”
“Did you expect them to return so soon?” I pretended my words didn’t catch, that it didn’t bother me to speak of them. Any more than I could admit I was just as worried for a different reason. Qeya’s fingertips danced against my skin, distracting me from darker thoughts.
“No,” she said, lingering on an unfinished thought. She tapped out a rhythm above one of my hearts. “I just worry. Arvex wants to start searching for our missing crew without the Nukis’ help but what if the Var already killed them? What if they have already killed Ohre and Adi? We would never know.”
“Arvex is a fool, but if he commands we go find the others, I will follow, if only to keep him from losing his head. But the miners know more about survival than we can hope to remember in all our lifetimes. If you want to worry about anyone, worry about us.”
She giggled and her smile was worth the lie. “You always know what to say to make me feel better.” Her smile faded. “But I’m not a child anymore. I know what’s out there…what’s at risk. If we die, who do we pass our memories on to? So many of the children died, so many lifetimes lost. Arvex may not be such a fool. We need Xame and Kall if we have any hope of leaving a legacy…” She frowned, as if realizing how she sounded.
“Who would they mate with now, love? Kahne? Should you, Hanea and Kahne take two mates to preserve our species? By that logic, we should mate with Adi as well and hope any offspring could Ascend same as a pureblood.” Such unions were rare on Datura and typically between the lower classes, but not uncommon. For a moment, I could see a child with Adi’s fierce strength and my speed and pushed back the longing that came with the image.
I tried to play it off but Qeya chewed her lower lip, thoughtfully. I choked on a laugh and settled my hand on her hip. “Please tell me you are not seriously considering.”
Her eyebrows arched and mischief filled her mismatched eyes. “Well, it was a common practice five-hundred years ago, remember?”
“Don’t remind me.” I shuddered at the distant memory of sharing her with another male. I didn’t want to think too hard on who it had been, in case they were one of our surviving crewmates.
“You aren’t very good at sharing if I recall correctly.” She smiled when I traced the line of her jaw.
“Not if it means I could lose you.”
Qeya looked pained but didn’t pull away either. “Tamn, you have been so patient with me. I know you want more and it’s not that I don’t…”
I pressed my lips to her forehead, smoothing the lines of her brow. “Whether you are my mate or not, you already have my heart.”
Qeya pressed her lips against mine firmly, briefly. “You always had mine.”
We fell asleep wrapped up in one another and I told myself it was enough.
* * *
I woke from battle dreams with a jolt and a shout, pulling my retractable scythe blade free, ready to cut the enemy.
“Tamn!” Arvex shouted and I hesitated with my blade against my king’s throat.
My scream died and I blinked rapidly to clear the memory of death and war from my mind. When the fog lifted, I saw the fear in Arvex’s eyes and released him, snapping my blade back. I ran a hand through my hair with trembling hands and pulled my legs over the edge of my bed. I hated that I still shook from chole withdrawals.
Arvex borrowed the moment to regain his composure and was oddly serious as he regarded me. “Sorry to wake you. I forgot how bad the dreams get for you sometimes.”
I shrugged but couldn’t meet his watchful gaze. “Have a fair reason for waking me?”
Arvex nodded and rubbed a hand over his face. “Before you run blasting your way through the jungle, please listen to what I have to say.” He paused and waited for my agreement before adding, “Q
eya’s gone.”
“Leviathan’s teeth!” I shouted, standing too quickly on sea legs that Arvex could easily push me back down.
“You said you would listen!”
I ignored my sister’s mate, pushing his hand aside. “That was before you told me Qeya was missing!”
“She isn’t missing, she left for the caves!” His face puffed red but his words resonated with me.
The fight left me weak and sick to my stomachs. “The miners. She is going to find them.”
“I believe so.” Arvex sighed and his gills flared as he paced from the open doorway to my bed. “I hoped she might have told you at least.”
“If she had, I would not be sitting here. I would have gone with her if I could not make her see reason.”
Arvex nodded as if he already knew this, and smirked. “Aye, which is why she neglected to tell anyone. Luckily, the Nukis saw her leave and told Qori. She informed us before swimming off with Min to trail her.”
I felt the crushing weight released from my chest. “At least she won’t be alone.”
Arvex agreed, then looked at me with something too like pity. “You know, she and Ohre are friends.” When I didn’t reply, he continued, “He has always watched my sister, on Datura 3. She thinks I did nothing but flirt with Hanea and ignore my duty, but I noticed. She hasn’t told me how, but Ohre suddenly showed up with her on second deck and they were able to release us from the rest of the ship. He kept us alive after we crashed here and the only reason he didn’t stay with us in the village is because she found you.”
I kept a careful reign on the rage threatening to bubble to the surface. I had to remember this was my sister’s mate and therefore my brother, not to mention my king. I glared at him but said nothing. What could I say? That his sister had chosen me, but we weren’t mated because I had given myself to Adi in secret instead? That Qeya was out there searching for her miner and judging by all Arvex implied, more than just her friend?
It meant nothing…
Arvex looked pained now, as if he could read the anger in me for what it was. “I know you went through hells getting to her. You sacrificed yourself for her, she won’t forget that. But…”
“But this isn’t Datura and we are not fighting the same war we left behind,” I finished. I stood, this time with confidence. “I haven’t forced your sister into anything.”
Arvex’s mouth twisted into a mockery of his usual grin. “She has always loved you, even if she didn’t remember it.” He turned to leave, then hesitated at my door. “I know you’ve been training the others. I think it’s been good for you and them, a bit like the old days. And I think you know I am ordering you not to chase after Qeya. Let her come home to us first, Tamn.”
It was harder to agree with him than it should have been, but I managed. After last night, I hadn’t expected her to leave but then again, I suppose I should have. We were different this lifetime, no mistake. We were the same souls we had been, just different bodies. We were infinite.
IX : Legacy
I twisted with my blade, slicing hard through the air, then settled into a low crouch. I paused to watch my pupils follow. Bruv and Gem copied my movements with greater force than necessary. All their movements had been harsher of late, full of the rage boiling inside them. This exercise was meant to loosen the muscle and mind, but I was having a difficult time letting go.
She has been missing for two sunrises.
I pushed my thoughts back and spoke to my students. “Live by honor…”
“Protect the memories unto death,” they answered in unison. There had been no ceremony for them. Surviving Nukvar had been their trial.
I cut a smooth arc overhead with my blade arm, until my palm kissed cool metal. I brushed my toe over the platform, twisting my leg into a different angle. Little Jymee was still small enough his body was unaccustomed to these movements, although his mind was full of memory. His older sister, Kahne floated with grace. She had always taken to scythe training like a dancer. Her purple eyes flickered to mine as I led them into the next pose.
“Keep the code,” I began as I leapt up, slicing up and over to rest at my side, elbow bent while I stretched my free hand opposite for balance.
“Live to die another day,” Kahne was the first to answer the creed this time. Again, our gazes brushed and I saw her loyalty and felt the flicker of understanding pass between us. She was a child, but we were old friends and she had been watching most carefully since Qeya left.
“Defend your crew…” I pivoted to face the bridge leading to the eastern wing of the village, cradled by deepening shadows of the jungle.
“Until the heavens turn dark.”
A flash of red interfered with the many shades of green and I stumbled out of formation. A small hand caught my arm, breaking my fall.
“Tamn?” Kahne whispered at my ear.
“He’s cracking again, isn’t he?” Gem whispered then grunted as Bruv punched him and growled, “Shut your trap!”
“Both of you, hush. He’s fine,” Kahne interrupted the boys.
Jymee was the first to confirm I wasn’t cracked as Gem thought when he ran ahead of us onto the bridge. “Qeya!”
My hearts lifted at hearing her name, seeing her approaching. Until I saw the unnamed terror in her face. She was covered in mud and the dampness of the forest below.
“What happened?”
“The Var—they have Captain and Kall held captive in—their village.” She was out of breath. “Miners going to rescue them now. Tamn! We—we must help them. Please!”
I opened my mouth to disagree when the world trembled. Jymee called for his sister as the trees the village were built into cracked and groaned.
I clutched Qeya to me and reached out to snatch Bruv before he fell head-first onto the platform.
“What in leviathan’s teeth was that?” Gem choked as the earth settled with a low rumble.
“Just a cracked miner playing with chole fire,” I ground out. Qeya and I shared a look, and then I saw the apology in her eye. I shook my head, silently pleading with her no.
“Tamn, I am sorry but you know I have to go.”
“You can’t just rush out there blind… Wait, Qeya!”
“If you want to help, follow me!” she called over her shoulder before running back down the way she came.
I stared after her, numb with the force of my fury. “How could she?” I hissed. “Bleeding bottom dweller dragging her into their mess.”
“Um, Commander?” Bruv interrupted, alerting me to the fact I was speaking aloud. He held up the scythe I must have dropped in the chaos. “We are going after her, right?”
I ground my teeth and gave a brief nod. “Go tell Arvex.”
* * *
I followed Qeya’s trail and the sound of her distant hearts beating. She was faster than I remembered, darting through the forest like she belonged to it. I needed to reach her before she and that bleeding miner roused the Var’s wrath.
Too late for that. The miner used chole blasts and now we shall have war, a voice from my past sang.
I flexed my right hand against my scythe hilt and activated my chole dagger with my left. This is Adi’s doing. It had to be. Anger with my miner battled with fear for her life. I should have gone when she asked me to join them, then maybe this mess could have been avoided. If anything happened to Qeya, I knew I truly would be cracked, as Gem said.
My blood chilled the moment I heard the Var’s screams of vengeance echoing through the jungle. I couldn’t be sure how long we had been running or how close we were to the explosion. The air was thick with a sweet, acrid scent I recognized. I inhaled deeply and felt the faint rush of dust fill my chest.
Qeya stopped running and I practically swam to reach her. She twisted to face me at my approach. A relieved smile crossed her features as she took another step. I heard an unmistakable click and then she was looking at me with the same terror I had seen on her face the day the Orona was cut down.
&n
bsp; I ran faster, dropping my scythe as I found her arms. With all the strength I possessed, I threw her off the boomer trigger, taking the brunt of the chole fire beneath us. Lights surrounded us, flashing in unnatural colors and washing away the horror on Qeya’s face as we were tossed in the air together.
There was a pocket of time, lost to the explosion, when my senses numbed to sweet nothingness.
This is how it ends, how we were meant to end.
My vision darkened. I was back on the beach, watching from afar while Datura 3 blew up in a shower of dying lights. Part of me had wanted to die then as I watched her inevitable death.
But she came back, they came back to us.
I opened my eyes to blinding pain. I should have been dead, but somehow managed to push off the torn earth. My skin stung where bits of bark and rock pitted after the blast I protected Qeya from. The spot I had been lying was covered in blood and ruined flesh—my flesh.
Don’t think about it. I pushed past the pain, told myself this wasn’t the worst I had endured.
Time had slowed during the explosion and now rushed to catch up to the pounding of my heart. A dull ringing in my ears pressed until I heard a loud pop and then the distant echo of screams. The boomer must not have been made to full strength, more to frighten the Var than destroy. I stood on trembling legs and began searching through the smoky aftermath. Every step was agony as I stumbled and blinked past flashes of bright light bursting in quick succession ahead.
Can’t lose her again. I repeated as I tripped over felled trees and pieces of what appeared to be crude mud huts spattered across the terrain.
The miners did this, I though with disgust. It was one thing to fight an enemy on equal ground, quite another to slaughter innocents. What in Orona’s name were they thinking? Even more disturbing, why would Qeya agree to such violence?
Voices called to me in the language of home world and then the vague outlines of children parted through the smoke. I sank to my knees, overcome. Small hands grasped my arms pulling me back up.
“Tamn! What happened to you? Have you found Qeya?”
Tamn Page 7
