Something to Believe In

by Kimberly Van Meter

  Her cheeks pinked. “No. But my art is different.”

  He sensed he ought to let it go. He was on the verge of ruining the evening. Even though he wanted to pursue answers, he dialed back the impulse to chase her down. Instead, he came up behind her and pulled her to him. “Aww, our first fight. I like playing house with you,” he murmured against her bare skin, kissing the column of her neck. “Too bad it can’t last.”

  “It’s better this way,” she answered, her voice dreamy as he continued to gently kiss and suckle the flesh on her neck, causing goose bumps to erupt along her skin. “This way we never bore of each other’s company, or become disillusioned by the daily grind of life. We’re both perfect in each other’s eyes.”

  “There would never come a day that I didn’t see you as I see you right now.”

  She turned and looped her arms around his neck. “We’ll never have to test that theory.”

  He stared down at her. “No, I guess we won’t,” he agreed but he found no satisfaction in the agreement. An irrational part of him wanted to do anything to convince her to go with him to New York, even to the point of lying to achieve his goal. But at least he recognized the impulse as highly irrational and irresponsible and resisted the urge to do or say something reckless. His father would have a fit if he brought Lilah home. Likely Vernon Cales already had a suitable debutante in mind for his son’s future wife. She was probably a respectable woman with an impeccable pedigree and dull as day-old white bread in the dollar aisle. She’d be nothing like his island orchid girl with her soulful eyes and smoking hot body, not to mention killer wit and bright mind.

  Hell, there was no one who would ever compare to Lilah Bell.

  And he already knew that with a certainty that he didn’t question.

  The knowledge filled him with a desperation that felt worse than his father’s manipulation and he never imagined anything would feel worse than that betrayal.

  Lilah, sensing a difference in him, pulled away. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes full of concern.

  He hated to see the light of desire fade from her eyes, particularly when he hated himself for wallowing in morose self-pity. He forced a smile, one that he knew was charming and filled with sexual promise, and surprised her when he lifted her in his arms. She wrapped her legs around his torso and he lifted her to the countertop. She squeaked when her bare bottom touched the cool granite and his heart melted just a little. “Break’s over, little bird,” he said, taking her mouth and reminding her of what he was capable of with his tongue while his hands reached up to cup her pert, perfect breasts, filling each of his palms as if they’d been made for him. He’d never get enough of her. Ever.

  Holy hell, he should’ve walked away the minute he’d laid eyes on her.

  Now, he was completely lost—and royally screwed.

  But at the moment?

  He didn’t give a rat’s ass.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  LILAH’S AND JUSTIN’S MATCHING smiles faded as they stepped into Larimar and found a firing squad of tense sisters awaiting them.

  “Where have you been?” Lora asked tersely. “We were worried.”

  Justin frowned at the tension flowing between the sisters and Lilah’s cheeks burned at being openly chastised like a runaway teen when she was an adult. She flashed Lora a cool look that said, stand down or else, and then said to Justin, “I’ll see you at lunch?”

  “I’ll meet you in the lobby.” But he didn’t move. In fact, he looked ready to fight her sisters for her honor, which she found ridiculously romantic, if not ill-advised. She laid a hand gently on his shoulder and smiled, communicating that she’d be fine and he reluctantly moved on. “Call me if you need me,” he said finally, and left the lobby.

  Lilah turned to glare at her sisters. “What the hell was that all about?”

  “We were up all night worrying about you,” Lindy said quickly, hoping to calm the storm building inside Lilah. “We called your cell but you didn’t answer. What happened? You were gone all night. We were...scared.”

  Lilah heard the worry in her twin’s voice and she immediately lost some of her bristles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you but I spent the night with Justin—and, Lora, before you start lecturing me on the inappropriateness of dating the guests, just save it. I don’t care. I’m sorry I didn’t call. My phone died and I honestly didn’t realize how worried you’d all be or I would’ve used Justin’s phone to call. We were at Heath’s.”

  “This is really unacceptable. What if we’d needed you or there’d been an incident with Pops?” Lora asked, still angry. “Life does not revolve around you.”

  Lilah opened her mouth to defend herself but then snapped it shut. They were right. She should’ve called. She couldn’t defend the indefensible, but she was just tired of being babysat. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I didn’t mean to put everyone in a bad spot but I like Justin and for the first time in a long time, I feel normal. And it’s addicting. I just wanted to go with the flow and see where it took me.”

  She expected her sisters to understand and even look relieved but what she received was the exact opposite.

  “He’s not a good guy,” Lindy said in a jumbled rush, then clapped her hand over her mouth with an anguished expression. Lilah was too stunned to respond and simply stared. “I’m so sorry, Li, but I did a Google search and found some things about him that aren’t good. I mean, really bad,” Lindy said, looking miserable for being the bearer of such bad news. “I’m so sorry. I wish to God it wasn’t true but you know I’d never lie to you.”

  Lilah felt punched in the gut. She found her voice to ask, “What kind of things did you find?”

  “He’s a notorious, rich playboy who is a man-whore of the worst kind. He runs with this bunch of guys who are known for their shenanigans and not in a good way. Spoiled, egocentric and if that wasn’t bad enough...he’s in politics!”

  Lora dismissed the last part but agreed otherwise. “It appears that he’s the son of New York Senator Vernon Cales. And he’s gearing up for his own campaign as he prepares to slide into his father’s spot. They’ve been in politics for generations. Sort of like a Kennedy family. But that’s not the part that bothers me. It’s the bad press he’s gotten. There are some objectionable pictures floating around the internet that I’ll let you take a look at. I forwarded the links to your email.”

  “Thanks,” Lilah said, her lips feeling numb. “Anything else?”

  “Isn’t that bad enough?” Lindy asked.

  “Well, that remains to be seen. I mean, everyone has skeletons in their closet. I sure have a doozy.”

  “He’s not the right kind of person for you right now while you’re healing,” Lora said, gentling her voice. “I’m sure you know that. Your recovery is the most important thing right now, Li. I know you like him but...he’s not the kind of guy who will stick around...at all.”

  “One of my girlfriends who took a sitcom gig on the east coast said she ran into him at a club and had the misfortune to go home with him. After he’d shagged her, he kicked her out of his penthouse without cab fare. What kind of D-bag does that?”

  Lilah flinched privately at the information, hating hearing such ugliness about the man she’d just spent an entire night curled up with. She also had difficulty reconciling what she knew of Justin with the man who would do something so rude and uncaring.

  “I know this is the worst kind of news but we thought it
wouldn’t be smart to keep what we’d found from you.”

  “Thank you,” Lilah murmured, still a bit shocked. She was tired and it was hard to process everything at once. “Would you mind if I went to my room for a bit? I need some time to think about this.”

  “Of course,” Lindy said, rushing to Lilah and embracing her tightly. “Take the whole day. We can handle things here.”

  Lora nodded in agreement and Lilah offered a wan smile in thanks.

  Her intention had been to go to her room and go to bed. Surely things would be clearer once she’d gotten some rest. But her feet took her straight to Justin’s room, where suddenly she was banging on his door as if the devil were inside and she was an avenging angel bent on retribution.

  Justin opened the door and his frown turned into a happy grin until she pushed past him with terse instructions to shut the door behind her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked as soon as he saw her expression.

  “I just got some really upsetting news and I need some clarification from you,” she said, going straight to the point. “Are you Senator Cales’s son?” Justin’s expression dimmed under the weight of her question and she had her answer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know it mattered,” he retorted stiffly. “And I don’t see how it does. So my dad’s a politician. I told you I grew up with money. Why should it matter that our wealth came from politics?”

  “It doesn’t. I don’t care about your money. It’s the other stuff that bothers me.”

  “Such as?”

  “Such as the fact that you have a reputation for being a man-whore, for being a notorious, coldhearted player who does whatever it takes to get girls into bed and then kicks them out when he’s finished.”

  “Who told you that?” he demanded.

  “Who told me doesn’t matter if the information is true. I believe in going to the source. So tell me...is it true?”

  * * *

  JUSTIN STARED INTO THE FACE of the woman he was fairly certain he was falling in love with and his stomach pitched with roiling unease. She’d only scratched the surface of his bad behavior. Previously, he’d been proud of his reputation. But now, faced with the open confusion and hurt reflected in Lilah’s eyes, he felt deeply ashamed.

  “Lilah, I’m not perfect and I wouldn’t pretend to be. We’ve all made mistakes, right?” He tried to move toward her with the intent of pulling her into his arms but she reacted by putting more distance between them. “What’s going on? Remember last night? Remember what an amazing time we had together? Let’s go back to that. That was real. This bullshit is just stuff from my past that doesn’t reflect who I am now. Are you really going to judge me so unfairly on stuff I did before I met you?”

  “Depends,” she said. “How far ago in your past are we talking?”

  He quieted, not wanting to lie but knowing his transformation was so new he was still getting used to it himself. He answered carefully, saying, “Not that long ago. But,” he said quickly when Lilah looked away in disgust, “I can tell you that meeting you changed my life.”

  “Don’t patronize me,” Lilah said. “And don’t treat me like some naive girl who will believe whatever falls from your mouth.”

  “I would never treat you like that,” he said stiffly. “What do you want me to say? I could’ve easily lied but I chose the truth.”

  “Would you like a pat on the back?” Lilah asked, her gaze hard. “My Grams used to say that you could measure a person’s character by their actions. So you chose to be truthful to a direct question, you don’t get an attaboy for doing what you should’ve done without thinking.”

  Justin pushed his hand through his hair, agitated at being cornered. “Oh, so you’re always honest? Is that right?” he shot back defensively.

  She started to retort but then pink crawled in her cheeks and she said nothing. Although one might count that as a point in his favor, Justin took no pleasure in the victory. The ugliness squatting between them was in direct contrast to the bliss they’d been enjoying hours ago and he wanted nothing more than to forget all this conflict and return to the cuddling and kissing. But judging by the sudden tears welling in Lilah’s eyes, that possibility was about as remote as anyone ever finding the Holy Grail. “C’mon, Lilah,” he said, gentling his voice as he took a step toward her in the hopes of holding her but she shook her head wildly and stepped farther away. “What? What’s going on? Are you really that mad that I didn’t share my every shameful and dirty secret the minute we met? I mean, it’s hard to impress someone you really like when you unload all that garbage on them,” he said, trying to use a smidge of humor to lighten the mood but the attempt fell flat as her eyes began to fill and his hope died.

  “Of course not,” she responded, sniffing back tears. It killed him to see her cry but she wouldn’t let him get near her so he had no choice but to stand there like a douche watching her cry.

  “Then what’s the issue?” he asked, exasperated.

  “The issue is that this incident has proven to me that I don’t really know you at all and that makes me uncomfortable. I’m in a place in my life where I need to minimize certain kinds of stress and right now, I’m feeling very stressed and sad and...blindsided.” She drew a deep breath and regarded him with a brittle stare. “And I don’t like it.”

  A sense of loss followed her statement and he could almost feel her withdrawing from him emotionally if such a thing were possible. He’d never been a touchy-feely type of person but his heartbeat had begun a panicked beat at the look of goodbye in her eyes. “Lilah...let’s talk this out. It’s not a big deal—”

  “It is a big deal. I don’t like surprises and I don’t like the feeling that I’m with someone with dirty secrets. But you know, maybe this revelation is a blessing. I knew we shouldn’t start something as ill-fated as a relationship when you are plainly not interested in staying and I’m not going so this is just the most reasonable decision to arrive at when it comes to you and me.”

  “What are you saying?” he asked, though he knew. God, he knew. He could feel it in his bones.

  “Come on, Justin. You’re a smart guy. This was stupid to start.”

  “Yes,” he agreed, surprising her with his answer. “But sometimes things happen that take us by the neck to get our attention and that’s what happened when I met you. I can’t explain it, Lilah. I wouldn’t be able to if I tried because I don’t fully understand what’s happening, but I think I might be falling in love with you because I haven’t once thought of being with another woman since that first day. It’s been you, the whole time.”

  “It’s not love, Justin. It’s fascination and infatuation. It’ll fade.”

  “Really? You think so? Is that what you’re hoping?” he demanded to know. “Because I think you’re wrong.”

  Lilah avoided his gaze. “We were stupid and irresponsible and I’m tired of being that person everyone has to look out for because she’s always making dumb mistakes in her life.”

  “We were not a mistake,” he disagreed hotly. “We were great together. Trust me, I’ve made plenty of my own mistakes and I’m pretty well-acquainted with how regret feels and I don’t regret a second with you.”

  Lilah’s gaze sparkled with more tears and for a wild, fleeting moment he thought, perhaps, he’d gotten through to her, but the moment passed and all doors of opportunity slammed shut behind her eyes with a finality that jarred his soul. “Good luck with your career,” she murmured in a
tear-choked voice. “I wish you the best.”

  “Lilah, wait!” Justin chased after her but she was quick on her feet and out the door before he could stop her. He nearly ran after her but he didn’t trust that he wouldn’t muck things up even more. So, he gritted his teeth and bit back the hot words that bubbled to the surface that were half anguish and half anger over her rejection and slammed the door because it was all he could do.

  All the crappy things he’d done in the past—that he hadn’t thought twice about for a long time—came rushing to the forefront of his memory, reminding him in bright Technicolor that he’d been naive to think that he could shield Lilah from the truth of things if they continued to see each other. But he hadn’t cared. His gut rolled and his hands shook. God, was this what a broken heart felt like? Sort of like the flu without a fever. He definitely felt ready to puke.

  Two hours ago he’d been making plans to spend the day with Lilah around town, possibly taking a charter boat to St. Croix. Now...he was ready to bawl like a damn baby who’d been pinched.

  He’d gone from heaven to hell in the space of twenty-four hours.

  And he had no freaking clue as to how to put things back the way they were.

  It’ll never be the same, a small voice whispered in his mind. He didn’t have the heart to argue.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CELLY WIPED AT THE SWEAT sliding down her temple and resumed chopping at the overgrown flower garden that had gone to pot since she’d become involved with the Bells.

  “Stubborn lot,” she groused under her breath as she pulled at the invading tropical plants that were choking out her orchids. “Jus’ doin’ as dey please, no matter what de consequence.” She leaned back and surveyed her progress, frowning unhappily when she realized the job was much bigger than she imagined it would be when she started. It’d seemed a good idea at the time when she’d cast a sour look across her yard and found the overgrowth to be the most offensive. Heath had come and fixed her leaking toilet and a host of other annoyances that she hadn’t realized were such a problem, but the truth was, she’d had no reason to really care about this place when she was with the Bells. That ridiculous, messed-up bunch of whackadoodles had become...her family.