My Demonic Ghost: Banished Spirits

by Maree, Jacinta

  He kept his head down in embarrassment. I felt as though nobody else mattered in this moment; not Miira’s punishment, not the Spirit World with the sins, not the Staff’s whereabouts, not the smell of the trash beside us or the cold touches of the air crawling through my clothes; not even the soft glimmer of sunlight peering through the gaps in the buildings.

  “The sun… It’s morning already?” Lock inhaled within an urgent gasp, falling back against the wall as the rays ran faster and faster into the mouth of the alley. There was no way I could run away from the world; I understood this clearly as the sun heated my face, lighting up the walls around me, when all I wanted to be left in darkness, in the shadows with him. Lock had nothing to cover his exposed skin, his plain shirt not big enough to stretch over his head and cover his torso. He squirmed uncomfortably at the increasing speed of the light, stumbling back as if it were lava collecting at his feet. Quickly, I pulled off my jumper and threw it over his head before running back to the apartment with him.

  The door swung open with a heavy bang as I grabbed the open curtains, pulling them shut and cutting off all light within the room.

  “You okay?” I asked him. Lock answered with a quick, ‘yeah, thanks’ before creaking around in the shadows. My eyes were stinging with the heavy weight of sleep. I turned at the same time as a dark figure stepped forward from the corner of the room, knocking his knees on the corner of the table with a loud thump.

  “Ouch!” He winced as I shrieked, completely forgetting that I had left Betrayal and her Host in the apartment when I’d run off to fetch Lock.

  The dark figure quickly hushed me, “It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s only me.”

  “Oh, you scared me.” I mumbled, “This is a bit embarrassing but I don’t even know your name.” He paused for a long time, surprised by my question as if the realisation had just hit him also.

  “Uh… yeah it’s Eric. And you’re Rachael right? Thanks for letting me stay here. We didn’t have anywhere else to go, but tomorrow night I’ll get myself a hotel room. I promise…” He had a rough and croaky voice, just like a chain smoker.

  “If you would like, you could take my room and I’ll sleep in my mother’s bedroom tonight,” I offered but he held a hand up, which I could faintly see the outline of, and shook his head.

  “Nah, it’s alright. I’ll just take the couch.”

  After I got come spare blankets and pillows, I bid Eric good night before going to bed. I crawled underneath the first layer of the sheets and before I realised it, my head had rolled to its side in a deep sleep.

  I had no dreams that night. My eyes slowly peeled open as I stretched, my back muscles tight and my neck throbbing in pain. I rolled over, checking behind the curtain. The sun was out and the day was in full swing; I got dressed and showered.

  “Sorry that I slept so long.” I entered the kitchen with my hair set loose on my shoulders, still dripping wet, the ends leaving damp circular patches on my shirt. Eric was sitting comfortably on the chair with a bowl of cereal out in front of him. He glanced up and smiled.

  “Hey, good morning.” I took a seat on the bench next to Eric’s chair, noticing as his hands went up, brushing through his short brown hair. He was a good looking boy and I was surprised at myself for not noticing it earlier.

  “I hope you don’t mind me helping myself…” He motioned towards the fridge and I shook my head. I glanced across the room in search for Lock, a little part of me panicking. It was nerves that shook me, the flush already hitting my face as I replayed our last moment together in the alley way; his clumsy footing, the warmth that numbed me, and his hands shaking as they held me.

  When I spotted him, he was far from being pleasant. A scowl sat on his lips and his eyes were dark under his hood. He had his cheek pressed up against the window.

  “He looks grumpy. What’s wrong with Lock?” I questioned softly, but when Lock’s snarl deepened, I figured he could hear me just fine. Eric glanced over and murmured under his breath, nodding slowly as if understanding on a personal level why Lock was so upset.

  “It’s because we’re here,” he said while turning back to his cereal and taking another scoop.

  “What do you mean?” I didn’t think Lock was being serious when he told me he hated Betrayal, but maybe I was a mistake to have taken his tantrums so lightly.

  “He found out that Betrayal and I will be babysitting you guys.”

  “Oh…” I glanced over to him once more. He was looking at me now, all insecurities gone from his stern face, as if last night had never happened and I had dreamed the entire thing. Maybe I did dream it… I was saddened by that thought and couldn’t bite back the frown. He beckoned me towards him with a curl of his finger and I obeyed, Eric tossing me a quick sympathy smile before returning to his meal. I slipped off the seat and headed over to Lock.

  The phone rang so I redirected my steps, dancing over to answer it. I turned so my back was towards the door, hiding my face from the furious eyes heating up the back of my head. I knew he was going to blame me for Betrayal’s interference, and even though it was my fault, I didn’t want to take responsibility for it.

  “Hello? Rach?” I recognised the light laughter instantly; it was my high school friend Danielle.

  “Oh, hey Dee.”

  “I wanted to know if you wanted to join us for a movie?”

  “Oh, um, sure what time?”

  “We’ll meet in an hour alright? And decide what we’ll see when we get there? I gotta run and catch my bus, but I’ll see ya at the cinemas. Bye.”

  The dial tone beeped softly in my ear before I placed the phone back into the cradle, facing Lock again. He was delicate underneath the hard armour he’d built around himself; I knew this because I had seen the panic in his eyes last night. When he didn’t have control of things, when he seriously thought I was going to run; he dropped the shield and clung to me with the shaky hands of a child. He is the sweet, beautiful boy that I had first thought he was, lost in the pools of his green eyes; that twist of toasted brown hair brushing forwards and curving into his face like brittle wings.

  But what I can’t figure out are his intentions. Was that kiss a sign of love or his way of telling me that he needed me; maybe as protection or maybe because the chains around us made him feel that way? How do I know that it wasn’t just the instinct of the spirit, that he is even able to feel emotions such as love? He could’ve done it without realising the symbolism of his actions and for me to have a misunderstanding was going to make everything awkward.

  “Hey, I’ve got to go out for a while. Eric, please help yourself to any food…”

  Eric checked his watch, “I actually better get going, too. Thanks anyway. I’ll be back later on tonight.”

  I smiled before turning to Lock. He was looking away again. His eyebrows were crinkled in his sulking. “You better stay in here; it’ll be safer for you.”

  The door clicked close behind me and I felt a heavy weight straddle my chest, guilt perhaps, and it made it difficult to inhale a full breath. Two steps down the hallway I was stopped by a cluster of ashes, Betrayal this time, forming from the dust and holding her thin, slender arm out to me.

  “Before you go, I need to ask something of you. Next time you’re in the Sin world, I need you to do something for me. Lock can’t transform into spirit form on his own, he needs your help and when speaking to Howl, he told me Lock had managed to break through back in the graveyard. I think this may have been because you were under threat, that you subconsciously unleashed Lock to save yourself.” She ran her fingers across her mouth, like she could taste something bitter and couldn’t bear to swallow it. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need you to become more… active within the Sin world. Don’t throw yourself into anything really dangerous, but be a part of it… because then you will be able to give Lock back his powers. And he would be able to defend himself, able to protect you both. Even though I, too, will be there, but I can’t always…” She drumme
d her fingers across her lips worriedly.

  I need to be in danger so I would instinctively try to use Lock to protect myself… That’s what Betrayal was requesting from me, that I help save Lock by allowing him a chance, a moment where he can protect us both. It would’ve been selfish of me not to have agreed, and even if it does mean he would absorb my soul a lot faster, at least I would be helping for once.

  I nodded quickly and Betrayal sighed with noticeable relief, “Thank you.”

  I meet up with Danielle and some of the others with 5 minutes to spare before the movie. I spoke plainly of my time at Whitehaven, leaving out a lot of the details; no mention of Lock, no mention of the Goons or the Banished spirits. I even held off telling them about my dad, not wanting to bring the mood down.

  I was distracted all throughout the film, barely keeping up with the plot, as basic as it was, excusing myself to go to the bathroom at the halfway point. I lingered outside for a moment, leaning against the wall beside the cinema with my head buried in my hands. I waited a few minutes before I heading toward the bathroom, and then washing my face before returning to my seat. The film didn’t enter my head, not even once.

  When the movie was over we decided to go out for some lunch. I felt stupid and annoyed with myself. I just didn’t know why I was so distracted, maybe concern about things at home or that something might be following me, like a Hunter or a Goon? I wasn’t quite sure what was keeping my mind buzzing. It was a lot harder to set foot back into the ‘normal’ world than I had first expected. My eyes moved to the road, watching as my friends darted off ahead of me. I picked up speed trying to catch up, until a scream stopped me in my tracks. My head swung to the side. I saw a woman, her arm pointing out and her lips still open wide in terror. She stood close beside another man, who was stumbling desperately to his feet.

  I slowed my pace, paranoid about what they were screaming at. I followed her lifted finger and traced it back to myself, the quickening punch of my heart ringing in alarm. I moved to check behind my shoulder when a heavy crash tackled me to the ground. My head jerked and my hair flew across my face, the weight crashing onto me and pounding me into the gravel. The road scratched my arms as a loud engine roared past, a heavy horn blasting above it. Swarms of hands touched me, lifting me from the ground. The voices of my friends could be heard shrieking in the back ground, calling my name.

  “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” They shook my shoulders as I nodded.

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t see her! Is she okay?” A truck driver wheezed as he jumped out of the vehicle and ran to my side. I blinked slowly; suddenly aware of my near death experience. I could’ve died and everything we’ve tried so hard to achieve would have been ruined in a matter of seconds. Lock would be doomed, my mother devastated, and my soul lost to the hands of Goons and Hunters.

  Whoever pushed me had saved a lot more than just my life.

  I glanced around myself, checking for the heroic glow to outline the face, but instead my hero looked at me with a gaze of frustration.

  “Lock? What you doing here? I told you to stay at home!” I shouted into the faces of all those staring down at me and they pulled away at once. They all did, that is, except for Lock who brushed his jumper down. His hood had been tipped back, cupping loosely at the crown of his head where his brown hair ruffled out from underneath. He had dark rings under his eyes, and though he wasn’t as white as he was in spirit form, there was still something obviously wrong with him, like he was sick or terribly cold. Lock just didn’t look healthy, normal… living.

  “I’m saving your life,” he barked, “Obviously you were never taught to look both ways before crossing the road; or that when someone saves your life you are meant to thank them.”

  I clenched my teeth and pulled my face back, “Thanks.” My words were bitter and ungrateful.

  “Do you need to go to a hospital?” A woman tapped my shoulder as I turned and smiled politely at her.

  “No, no I’m fine. Thank you.”

  “This young man is a hero,” another voice cheered, reaching down to touch Lock but he jerked his shoulder away unkindly, away from her hands.

  “Rach, you scared us half to death!” A hand turned my head to face her, a familiar face this time, as one of my girlfriends captured me into a hug. Lock lingered close to my side, pressing against me as the people moved in swarms around us both.

  Jessie, one of my friends called up above the rest of the murmurs, the crowd now breaking away, “Do you know each other?” I ushered us off the road and onto the footpath.

  Lock followed, standing close to my side, hiding back underneath his hood.

  “Ah, this is my friend Lock, from Whitehaven. Lock, these are my school mates.” I cleared my throat and pointed to them as I spoke their name; each of them scanned him briefly and exchanged curious glances with each other. He didn’t look normal.

  “You’re from Whitehaven too? You’re far away from home, why are you in the city?” Danielle asked.

  “I’m actually a family friend of Rachael’s. My family moved back a few days ago.” He spoke so confidently that even I nearly believed him. He was handsome and held a charm about him that was too irresistible to ignore; all that he was missing was a pulse and a couple of more years.

  “Ah, it’s not that important anyway. He’s just some kid that I know.” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lock’s head lowering as I spoke. Was what I said wrong? The girls smiled and nodded as if they believed me. I glanced over at him, but Lock’s head was turned the other away, looking out down the street and fidgeting with the deep pockets of his jumper. The sun was warm against my back.

  “I better get going; I’ll see you guys later, anyway…”I lead Lock away as I waved behind my shoulder to the others.

  Lock crossed the road first; I caught up with him once we were both on the foot path and out of the others’ sight. I grabbed a handful of his shirt, pulling him to a stop.

  “Hang on Lock. I just wanted to say thank you… properly.” The words felt cold against my mouth, like I was smoothing ice cubes along my lips and tongue. I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that, especially since he risked hurting himself to safe me.

  “Well, you’re not much use to me dead now are you?” he muttered back, still keeping his eyes glued to the concrete. If my words were cold, then his were like an ice storm. He needed me to be alive; it’s different from wanting me to be alive.

  “Right…” This boy in front of me, in all of his splendour and grace; how could I have been such a fool as to imagine anything more than being convenience for him? I wasn’t anything special, wasn’t the smartest person, wasn’t the prettiest or the funniest. We both knew that. Just looking at me, I scream ordinary. “But can I ask you something else?” He nodded. “How… how did you know where I was? Were you following me?”

  His shoulders moved, awkward and uncomfortable as if the air its self was poking through the fabric and into his skin.

  “I… I did but I don’t know why. I just keep thinking you’re going to get hurt, or there’s a Hunter or, I dunno... I can’t help myself.” The stillness in the air became like glass, the voices of the outside world vanished, and everything, except his body, standing only inches from my own, was unreal. How easy would it be to just reach out and take a hold of his hand?

  “You mean… like the Banished spirit protection? Don’t worry I kind of understand. I’m your Host right, you need me to survive so…” My smile was weak and my voice was low.

  “Umm…” He glanced up slowly, “Rach… What am I to you?”

  What am I to you? I went silent, absorbing his words, watching the shimmering wet veil over his eyes sinking into my own. I was captivated in their web; the points where one shade of green smudged over into the other, like water dribbling down a rocky waterfall and into a pond completely filled with padded lilies. What am I to you? This question, it was easier to answer than I had first guessed, so simple that I couldn’t catch myself b
efore I let the truth spill from my lips.

  “Everything.”

  My answer caught him off guard, judging by the way everything about him tightened; his shoulders, his chest, his neck and lips, his eyes and fingers twitching at his side. As if a chink had formed in his armour, a small glimpse of him appeared in front of me just like in the alleyway as he bit into his smile and coughed. It sounded like a choke, like holding back bubbling laughter or stifling a cry. He was smiling, teeth and all appearing behind the fold of his lips, where a set of dimples curved delicately alongside his grin.

  “Heh, you’re such a dork.”

  I did feel like a dork, but I wasn’t upset that I that he called me one or that I had said it. It was good. This feeling was good, as if a heavy weight in my chest had been shattered and lifted into the free space above me; even if it was only a one way feeling, I didn’t mind. Because he was here with me now and I would do my best to help him. After admitting to it out loud, I felt that I could take on the world with my bare hands. Everything was going to be alright somehow. His hand reached out, taking mine. He whispered as we continued to walk, his fingers so delicate yet firm intertwined with mine, “Yeah...me too.”

  We headed towards the apartment, stopping at the street corner where I glanced over to see people milling around the large central park on the opposite end of the curb. The sun was weak, but strong enough to coat the grass with a subtle shine. There was one particular couple that I noticed walking along the footpath. Their faces were turned to each other, wrinkled with the lift of their smiles and their steps were slow and small, as though time didn’t exist in their world.