Shards [Book Three]

by Peter W Prellwitz

  I was thirsty, so I got a drink of water. There was water on the stove but it was still hot. So I pulled out the thing on the pipe and drank some water. There was some sticky stuff that smelled like bread on the table. That meant that Miss Deshard was here before me. I tried some, and it was good, so I ate some more, then drank some water.

  I wanted to go to the base, but it was still light outside. Dorothy and Alan had said that I could never go outside when it was light outside or they would be unhappy. They weren't my real owners, but they were very nice and they told me what my real owner wanted. Her name was Abigail, and though I never saw her, I knew she was my real owner. Dorothy and Alan had showed me some paper with words on it that was from Abigail, and they told me it said I should do what they said. So I tried to.

  I didn't know how long I would have to wait. Until dark. I sat down on my bed on the floor. I started to touch myself, but stopped when I remembered Dorothy had told me not to do that because Abigail didn't want me to. I was sad because I couldn't, but happy because I did what I was told. So I just sat still and waited.

  * * * *

  The corporal looked through the night sight toward the distant doorway. He saw it swing open and the girl come out. Her shirt was on loosely and she had a streamer of cloth in one hand.

  So she was now the pleasure ripe. He'd been told what to look for, that there were only three ambulatory personas, counting the real one. The real one was the cagiest, but this one had a perception that went beyond the other two No sooner had she stepped outside than she turned and stared directly at him. Even in pitch darkness, at a distance over two hundred meters, and him hidden in a well-built blind, she somehow knew. Without fear, she began walking into the field, directly toward him.

  The first time it had happened, he'd been genuinely spooked. Since then, he realized that she had no idea how to act on her knowledge. She had the mental capacity of a small, mildly retarded child. She was not a threat.

  Nonetheless, he turned off the sight and quickly lowered the gun. Putting his back to the wall, he stared intently beyond the fallen-in roof far above him and into the starlit sky. He began to count off ten minutes, constantly fighting down the fear that she would somehow appear directly behind him, coming through an opening ten meters above the ground, having transformed into a hideous creature. It was an unreal fear, he kept thinking. But her ability to sense him was also unreal. Unreal and terrifying.

  He waited the ten minutes, then took position again, turning on the gun sight.

  She was gone. Now the real danger began. Of the three, this one was by far the most careless. Although it had not happened yet, she was almost certain to attract the wrong attention. If he, and she, were lucky, they would be after the ripe's possessions as well as her more immediate and obvious rewards, and would follow her to her room. The implanted tonal behind his left ear would give warning, but he didn't trust it to give sufficient warning. He would remain crouched over his rifle until dawn or until the girl returned. He had a very high regard for duty.

  * * * *

  “Dorothy!” I pounded on the door, then remembered I wasn't supposed to do that. I stopped.

  “Dorothy!” I yelled louder because I had stopped pounding on the door.

  The door opened and a man grabbed my arm and pulled me in. He seemed excited and mad at me, but not really.

  “Do you remember what Dorothy told you?” he said.

  “Yes, I do!” I said, happy to answer a question I knew. “She said that I wasn't supposed to pound on the door, so I didn't.” I held out my bra. “Can you help me put this on? I forgot again."

  “No, no, Miss.” Now he seemed scared. “Remember? Only Dorothy knows how to put it on. Leave your shirt on and I'll take you to her. Okay?"

  “Okay."

  He took my hand and we went through the building. He was a nice man even though he wasn't Alan, so I cuddled up to him as we walked. He told me to remember the rules about that, so I just held his hand. They had a lot of rules.

  We walked past some more people and some machines and some floating machines and some more people that were dressed the same and then some rooms. Then he took me to another room and then we went past some more people until we were in the room where Dorothy was. It was a kitchen, like Miss Deshard's but different.

  I was very happy and ran to her to kiss her. She moved her head and let me kiss her on the cheek instead. She was surprised to see me I think.

  “Back so soon, child?"

  “Uh-huh.” I handed her my bra. “I forgot again, Dorothy. Can you show me how?” I undid my button to take off my shirt. Dorothy stopped me and talked to the nice man.

  “Thanks, Wally. I'll take her from here."

  “Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.” He sounded very happy to say thank you. He went away and Dorothy scolded me, but with her nice voice.

  “What am I going to do with you, child? You don't let anyone see your special places except me. Understand?” I nodded and she smiled and took the bra out of my hand. “Good. Now say that."

  “I only show my special places to you."

  “Very good, but not quite. You don't show them to me, you let me see them if I need to. Try again."

  It sounded like the same thing, but I tried again. “I only let you see me if you need me.” I thought a second. “Can I show myself—no, I mean—can I let Alan see me if he needs me?"

  She looked a little upset. “No, child. Alan doesn't want to see you. I'm sorry, that's not right. Alan does want to see you, but Alan doesn't need to see your special places. Understand? He wants to see you, but with all your clothes on."

  “Why?"

  “Because he likes all of you, not just your special places. Those are only for your owner, Abigail."

  “And you, Dorothy.” I said proudly, happy to get it right.

  “Close enough.” She sighed. “Abigail and me. Now let's go into my room and get this put on proper.

  She put my bra on me and showed me how, then let me do it. I did it three times, then thought I would remember. Then I ate some food. Then we went to see Alan.

  He was real busy on a machine, but stopped to talk to me and Dorothy.

  “Hello, Princess. What brings you here tonight?” I liked it when he called me princess. They told me a princess was a special girl from a long, long, time ago, and when I behaved myself, I was a princess.

  “I wanted to see you and Dorothy. And I was hungry, too. But now I'm not."

  He laughed and talked to Dorothy. “Straight and to the point. Not unlike Abigail in that respect.” Dorothy laughed, too, so I laughed, too, happy they laughed.

  “She's a charmer. Despite all the bad things, she's a charmer."

  That confused me. “What bad things? I've had lots of good things. All my owners were good things, and all the things—"

  “That's enough, Princess. Let's just think about these good things, all right.” Alan said with a smile. He was so nice, I wanted to hug him, so I did. He let me hug him, but only for a little time. He kept his arm around me and talked to Dorothy.

  “I'm a little pressed for time, Dorothy. I wasn't expecting Abigail to, umm ... go away so quickly and we need to get this simulator calibrated. Abigail's a lot better—"

  “Where's Abigail?” I asked. “Is she here? Can I see her?"

  “Don't interrupt, Princess. Abigail's not here, though I wish she was."

  “I do, too."

  “I know that. Now let me finish talking to Dorothy.” He let me go and went back to talking to Dorothy. They started talking big, which meant I wasn't supposed to listen. I went to look at the machine that Alan was working on.

  It was big and had a lot of lights on top of it. I think Alan said it was Abigail's, which made it special. I tried to see if it would say anything about where Abigail was, but I didn't touch it. I was always scolded when I touched machines. Then I remembered that some machines talked, so I asked it where Abigail was. It didn't say anything so maybe it didn't know either. I
asked it if it missed Abigail, but it still didn't say anything.

  “But, Alan!” Dorothy's voice was getting loud. “I have got to get down to the Room. I'm afraid we're going to lose one, and I want to be there to help."

  “I understand, Dorothy.” Alan was always quiet when he talked, but sometimes his quiet voice still sounded big. “But Abigail's schedule is pushing pretty hard, and if I can get the bulk calibration complete, it will be that much easier when she gets back."

  “Is Abigail here?” I asked, excited and hoping to see her.

  “Remember, child?” Dorothy said in her soft scold. “Abigail's not here now."

  “Oh, yeah. I forgot. I'm sorry."

  “That's all right.” Dorothy looked at Alan. “So what do we do? I can't have anyone else watch her, and I don't want to send her home like this. Not without an escort, and the runners won't be going to that area tonight But I have to go to the Room.".

  “I want to go to the room, too, Dorothy!” If Dorothy wanted to go, then I did. “I want to help you."

  “That's sweet, child. But you don't want to go to the Room."

  “Yes, I do! Besides, then you'll know what to do with me."

  Dorothy thought about it and looked at Alan. He shrugged his shoulders. “What is there for her to see that's worse then what's happened to her?"

  Dorothy put a hand on my cheek and stroked it, which made me feel very good. But her face was sad, so I was sad, too.

  “You're right, Alan. It's so hard to look at such an innocent face and think of the pain she's had."

  “I've had lots of pain.” I said, happy to talk about it. “The best kind is the one that makes me curl up and want to sleep. Only I try real hard to stay awake because—” Dorothy put her fingers over my mouth, so I started to lick them. She pulled them back, and I remembered I wasn't supposed to do that.

  “I'm sorry! I forgot again! I won't do that any more. I'm sorry!"

  “Shush, child. Don't worry about it. That's just the way you are. All right, why don't you come with me and help in the Room."

  She took my hand and I waved at Alan.

  “Bye, Alan! We're going to the room!” He waved back but didn't say anything.

  We walked out of Alan's big room and into kitchen. Then we walked down a hall and to some stairs. The stairs went down. We went down the stairs and then went into a long room with big tall walls, and some doors were there, too. It was very dark. There were a lot of people sitting all around and lying around and some were standing. Some of the people had fires, and some didn't.

  “Is this the room, Dorothy?"

  “No, child, it's not. This is the hallway."

  “It doesn't look like a hallway, Dorothy."

  “It's not really a hallway like you see. It's used to be a big long hall that had machinery called an assembly line. They made other machines that were used in space. But the assembly line and machinery are all gone, and now we call it the hallway. People who are going to go into the Room soon stay in the hallway. The Room is down this way."

  We walked down the hallway that did not look like a hallway and we walked to a doorway that was kind of big. There were people standing outside and Dorothy went up to a nice looking man.

  “Hello, Gary. I've got a guest with me tonight."

  Gary looked at me, then looked at Dorothy.

  “Are you sure that's wise, Dorothy? I think we're going to lose a couple tonight, and you know what it's like.” He looked at me again. “You're liable to scare the girl."

  “I'm here to help!” I said in a loud voice and stamping a foot. Dorothy smiled, which meant I did the right thing. I laughed because I made Dorothy happy.

  “You heard her, Gary. I don't think we'll change her mind. She's a pleasure ripe, so I don't think there's anything that scares her."

  “All right. Go on in.” He opened the door for us. I smiled at him with my best smile and tried to kiss him, but Dorothy pulled me away. We went inside.

  It was dark inside but there was a little light. I could see people lying down on the floor. There were more than five and they were all sad. Some were making sad sounds and some were making clicking sounds.

  “Why are the people all sad, Dorothy?"

  “Because they are all dying, child. A couple are very close to death."

  “I know.” I pointed to a lady in the corner and a man on the other side of the room, against a wall. “That lady and that man will die tonight.” I pointed to another woman who was staring at us. “She's going to die tomorrow. Maybe the next tomorrow."

  “How ... how do you know that, child?” Dorothy spoke in a whisper that was scared. I was unhappy because she sounded scared.

  “I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong? Tell me what to say, Dorothy."

  “No, no, child. Don't blame yourself.” Her voice sounded better. “I'm not mad. I'm surprised. You are right about the first two. But how did you know?"

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know. I just did. Is that why they're sad, Dorothy? Because they are going to die and won't be able to serve their masters?"

  “Is that what you think?"

  “That's why I'm sad about dying. The lady that kicked me and kicked me in the bathroom was very nice.” I pulled up my pants leg. “See? She broke my leg here. But when she kicked me in my tummy, I was afraid I was going to die and then I would be sad because she couldn't kick me any more.” I thought for a second. “But I guess she could kick me after I was dead, right? But only for a while. After I was dead for awhile, I would start falling apart. I was with a dead person for a lot of days once a long time ago, and she fell apart. My owner—he was a big man with a lot of hair—wanted me to be scared, so he made me..."

  I was talking and talking and then I saw Dorothy was crying. I was sad because I talked too much.

  “I'm sorry, Dorothy! I didn't mean to make you cry. I was talking too much.” I put my hand on her face and wiped her tears. She kept crying, so I kept wiping her tears. Then I remembered she held me close to make me feel better, so I tried to do the same, even though she was bigger than me. I started to move my hand to her ... wait. I wasn't supposed to do that. I put my hands on her back and patted it.

  She stopped crying in a while and smiled at me.

  “I thought I knew you, child, and you go and surprise me. I'm very proud of you."

  “Oh! Thank you, Dorothy! Am I helping now?” I felt glad. I liked making people feel good, even when I wasn't doing it the normal way.

  “Yes, you are, child. Now let me introduce you to someone.” She took me over to the lady in the corner who was going to die tonight. The lady was staring at me, but I knew she didn't see me. Her arms were very stiff and I could tell she was thirsty.

  “She's thirsty, Dorothy. Can we give her some water? Would that be helping?"

  “Yes, it would. In fact that's the only thing left to do to help. Giving her water and waiting with her."

  “Waiting until she dies?"

  “Yes. Can you do that?"

  “Yes!” I said, happy to be able to do something I knew how to do.

  “All right, then. Sit next to her and I'll bring some water. Pay close attention to her, child. Sometimes she will want to talk, and she wants someone to be near."

  “Okay.” I sat down close to the lady and stared at her.

  Dorothy brought some water, then went to sit next to the man who was going to die. She wanted me to pay close attention to the lady, so I did. The lady's body kept changing and she was hurting a lot. I gave her water a couple of times, when her eyes looked right and I knew she was looking at me.

  Some time went by, then I felt Dorothy touch me on the shoulder.

  “Why don't you take a break, child."

  “I'm okay, Dorothy. I want to help."

  “But you've been sitting there without moving for over three hours. You must be tired."

  “I'm okay. You said to pay attention until she died, so I will. I promise."

  “But it might be hours
before...” I looked up at her, not understanding, so she smiled. “All right, child. But if you need someone else to sit with her, just tell me."

  “All right.” Dorothy went back to the man and I paid attention to the lady.

  After two more drinks, I saw her eyes become alive and she was looking at me.

  “Mona! Is that you? Have you come to be with me?"

  “I'm going to stay with you, lady, but my name isn't Mona. Here, drink some water. You're thirsty.” I gave her some water and she drank a little.

  “Thank you, Mona. It tastes so sweet. Do you remember me?"

  I thought about it, then shook my head. She seemed sad that I didn't remember, so I tried again, but still forgot. She patted my hand. Her hand was very bony and there was a lot of skin on it.

  “So you're not my Mona right now. That's all right. My name's Ellen. What's your name, darling?” Her voice was soft with death.

  “I don't have a name.” She seemed sad, so I had an idea. “But Alan calls me Princess. That's a special girl from a long, long, time ago. If you want, you can call me Princess."

  That made her happy. “All right, then. I'll call you Princess.” Her eyes got very big and they went away and she made loud croaking sounds. She didn't know I was here anymore, so I just waited.

  She went very stiff, then her body went very dead-like. But I knew she wasn't dead because she wet her bed and clothes and her chest went up and down a little bit Then her arms started jumping around by themselves. Then they lay still and she cried and cried, making little shrieks. She said, “Wilson, fire back two-thirds!” a lot, and “Hurry and get it off him! Nooooo!” a lot, too. And she made some other sounds. Then she came back after a long time and looked at me. I gave her more water.

  “Am I going to die soon?” She said in a little voice.

  “Uh-huh. Pretty soon.” I remembered what Dorothy had asked me, so I asked her. “Does that make you sad, Ellen?"

  “Does it? I don't know, Princess. I've been dead for eight years now. Maybe when I'm really dead, I'll...” and then she was gone. So I waited...