Falling for Her

by Sandra Owens

  And he liked the little yellow bikini. Very much. All he had to do to get it off was pull the bows dangling down the sides of her hips. To test her reaction, he gave one a light tug and got swatted.

  “Stop it.” She brushed his hand away. “I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

  He’d get her out of it before the afternoon was over. He hoped. For now, she was coming up on the inlet, and she didn’t have the experience to get them through the pass. Standing, he pressed against her and eased back on the throttle. With his hands on her shoulders, he talked her past the shoals and incoming waves.

  “I did it!” she cried when the last of the rock wall was behind them.

  “You certainly did.” The excitement dancing in her eyes when she looked back at him reminded him of a child on Christmas morning. Once into the Gulf of Mexico, the boat rode the gentle swells as easily as a bobbing cork. He reached his arms forward and put his hands over hers, turning the wheel to the left.

  She laughed, then pushed his hands away. “This is so great. I’ve never been on a boat before, and I love it.”

  Jamie sat back down, letting her have the wheel. His Sea Ray was his one true love, and his heart gave a little flip at her words. The October day was perfect, warm enough not to be chilled by the wind, but not so hot they were sweltering. A line of pelicans flew overhead, their fat bodies and long beaks outlined by the stark blue sky.

  When they took the lead, Sugar bounced on her feet. “Can we go faster? Please. Oh, pretty please.”

  “The throttle’s there at your right hand. Just remember, we’re not on a NASCAR racetrack and you’re not Earnhardt.”

  She let out a shriek and pushed the throttle forward, catching up with the pelicans. “Y’all have nothing on me, ya beady-eyed bastards,” she yelled heavenward, shaking a fist at them.

  Her enthusiasm was contagious, and laughter spilled out of him, coming from places he thought he’d closed and locked the doors to forever. He tried to imagine Jill—or any of the other women he’d dated the past ten years—racing a flock of birds and . . . giving them the finger?

  “Sore losers,” she muttered.

  Jamie glanced behind him to see the pelicans veer off toward shore. “Appears they are. Is this where I’m supposed to soak you with champagne?”

  “A simple, ‘you’re awesome, Sugar,’ will suffice.” She glanced back and shot him a grin.

  The woman was pure awesome, a fact he couldn’t deny. A funny thing happened then. As clear as day, he saw a fork in the road. One kept him going in the direction a scared, young man once decided was his destiny, a way to honor the parents he’d killed. The other might lead him to hell or heaven. There was no way to know which, only that a beautiful, vibrant woman with the unlikely name of Sugar Darling dared him to follow.

  She’d put her hair up in a ponytail before they’d left the dock, and he tugged on it, pulling her down onto his lap. “You are awesome.” He put his hand under her chin, turned her face to the side and kissed her. “I surrender,” he whispered against her lips, knowing she couldn’t possibly understand.

  The boat swerved crazily to the left when she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he grabbed the wheel. “Time for me to take over.”

  “Ooops,” she said, then giggled. “You made me forget I was driving, so it’s your fault.”

  “A good sea captain never forgets he’s at the wheel, no matter the circumstances,” he said, just to rile her.

  Surprising him, she turned so her body faced his, her legs straddling him, and her eyes glittered with mischief. “Is that so? Makes me wonder. What if I did this?” After making a quick scan of her surroundings, she put her hands on the hem of her cover-up, lifted it over her head, and tossed it to the seat. Then she reached behind her and pulled the ties to her top, baring her breasts on a level with his mouth.

  The boat swerved crazily to the right.

  “Jumping junipers, Sugar.” He righted the Sea Ray. “I could’ve killed us.” Although he couldn’t argue it would be a good way to go out.

  “A good sea captain never forgets he’s at the wheel, no matter the circumstances,” she mocked, her lips forming a smirk.

  “Little witch.” He pulled the throttle back and cut the engine before covering her breasts with his hands. “Fair warning, I have plans for these.” When he flicked his thumbs over her nipples, they puckered. In anticipation, he hoped.

  Something that looked a little like fear flickered in her eyes, and she buried her face against his neck, hiding before he could be certain. To say he was confused was an understatement. He caressed her back, rubbing his hand over skin that felt as soft as a baby’s.

  “I’m not sure how to go on with you, Sugar. One minute, you yank off your top, displaying your girls in all their glory.” He kissed the side of her cheek. “And believe me, they are glorious. Then I think I see fear in your eyes. Talk to me. Tell me what you want.”

  A shudder passed through her body, then she let out a long sigh. “I’m trying to be brave, okay? I want to be normal.”

  “What makes you think you aren’t?” Was he about to find out what had happened to her?

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, her lips still pressed against his neck. “Was it wrong to take off my top? I should know these things, shouldn’t I?”

  The woman was worming her way into his heart without even trying. Her vulnerability called to his need as a man to protect her, something he’d not planned for. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it, but for her he had to try.

  “This is important, so listen to me, sweetheart.” He leaned away, forcing her to look at him. “If it feels right to you to take your top off, then it’s right. Here’s what you have to remember. I’ll never hurt you, okay? If I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable or scares you, all you have to do is say stop. Simple as that.” A strand of hair had come loose from her ponytail, and he curled it around his fingers. “You trust me?”

  Her eyes shifted to the horizon a moment before returning to him. “I want to.”

  Not the answer he wanted, but it would have to do for the time being.

  As if suddenly remembering she was bare from the waist up, she crossed an arm over her breasts. “All I have to do is say stop?”

  He nodded.

  “Then I’ll trust you until you give me a reason not to.”

  Humbled by her faith in him, he cradled her face with his hands. “Thank you.” He brushed his lips over hers, holding back from kissing her the way he wanted. Although he knew she liked his kisses—thank God for that much, anyway—he sensed it was not the time to thrust his tongue into her mouth and devour her the way he wanted.

  He handed her the bikini top. “I need to anchor us before we end up in the Keys.” When she started to put it back on, he grabbed it. “Oh, no you don’t. No hiding that killer body from me.”

  Going to the bow, he dropped the anchor, noting he could still easily see bottom. Could he convince her to do a little skinny-dipping? If he could, he’d consider the day a success. If what frightened her the most was the sight of a man’s penis, then if they were naked while in the water, maybe it would be easier for her to get used to him. He just wished he knew the reason for her fear. It would give him some idea on how to go forward.

  He turned to make his way back to Sugar and stilled. She’d put her straw hat back on and a pair of sunglasses, but that was all. Sitting on the rear bench, her long legs stretched out in front of her and her face tilted up to the sun, was a goddess come to earth. Although she still wore her bikini bottom, her magnificent breasts were in full view. More aroused than he’d been in too many years, he headed for her.

  Sugar forced her hands to stay at her sides and not cross them over her chest. What had possessed her to bare herself to him? The exhilaration of racing his boat, the wind on her face, and just being near him had s
tolen her sense of self-preservation. How could she want something and not want it at the same time?

  The only reason she wasn’t swimming for shore was because he’d said she only had to say stop if he did something she didn’t want. Well that, and she couldn’t swim.

  The marvel of it was: she believed him. The last time she’d trusted a man was her daddy before her mama had died. If Jamie knew how momentous her being able to trust him was, he’d probably freak. He’d see it as some kind of hero worship, and he wouldn’t want that from her.

  If she did think of him as a hero, then that was something she’d just keep to herself. The boat rocked as he made his way back to her, nimbly traversing the narrow ledge just inside the railing. After he jumped to the deck, he whipped off his T-shirt, then came to stand over her.

  He slipped his sunglasses down his nose and peered over the rims. “I might have said this before, but it bears repeating. Beautiful.”

  It took effort, but she managed not to squirm under his leisurely perusal of her body. As determined as Rodney had been to have her, he’d never looked at her the way Jamie was doing, as if she really were beautiful. And desirable.

  It had never occurred to her to wonder before now, but if she hadn’t been either beautiful or desirable—or both—to Rodney, why had he been so doggedly resolute to own her? Not wanting to ruin this afternoon with Jamie, she shelved the question for later consideration.

  Deciding it was only fair to return the favor, she let her eyes roam over his body, starting with the broad shoulders toned to perfection by all the training exercises the guys practiced. A dusting of golden hair crossed the top of his chest, and a darker blond arrow of hair on his stomach pointed to parts below. A trim waist, narrow hips, and long, muscular legs combined with the rest of him made for a pretty spectacular package.

  As her gaze traveled back up, she noticed the front of his boardshorts was tented, and as her eyes paused there, the material moved. He was hard and aroused. She jerked her gaze away. How had she missed that on her inspection down his body? Swallowing hard, she forced herself to look at his face. The puzzled but intense expression she saw there said he was trying to figure her out. Not gonna happen, she thought.

  “Let’s go swimming.”

  Terror with sharp talons grabbed her heart. Not in a million years. “N-No, thanks.” Damn, even she heard the fear in her voice.

  Jamie picked up her legs, slid under them, and sat. “You’ve had a bad experience with water?”

  She nodded.

  “Want to tell me about it?”

  No, no, and no. The man was entirely too perceptive. How could he know she’d almost drowned just by the shakiness in her voice? She pulled her legs from Jamie’s lap and tucked them under her.

  “Sugar, the blood’s drained from your face.” He pulled off her sunglass. “And your eyes have gone wild. Talk to me.”

  She shook her head. Suddenly remembering she was naked from the waist up, she grabbed her cover-up from the back of the bench and clutched it over her chest.

  He scooted closer and tucked her under his arm. “The only way to conquer a fear is to confront it. Did you almost drown when you were a child?”

  Why couldn’t he leave it alone? She had no desire to confront that particular demon.

  “Did you?”

  “No.” She eyed the shoreline, wishing she had the ability to walk on water.

  “All grown-up then. So you’d never learned to swim?”

  If she didn’t answer, maybe he’d give up.

  “I’ll take your lack of response as a no. Were you alone?”

  The full force of her terror that day as she sank to the bottom of the pool—swallowing water all the way down and knowing those few precious seconds were her last on earth—slammed through her.

  “No, I wasn’t alone!” she screamed, losing all hope of containing the storm roiling inside her. “I wasn’t alone,” she said, softly. Tears streamed down, hot on her cheeks. “The man I told you about, the only one I’ve been with, he-he threw me in the end of a pool to teach me a lesson.”

  “And what lesson would that be?”

  Even through her tears, she could see the rage welling in Jamie’s eyes, could hear the anger in his voice. For her? She brought the edge of her cover-up to her face and wiped her cheeks.

  “That he held my life in his hands.” When Rodney had pulled her out and made her throw up the water she’d swallowed, he’d said exactly that.

  She could still hear his voice, close to her ear as he’d tugged her head up, his hand fisted in her waist-length hair. “I own you, Hannah. I decide whether you live or die. If you displease me again, I may not pull you out the next time. You know I can make your body disappear so no one will ever find it.” It was the calm, cold way he’d said it that made her believe him.

  “Did I hear you correctly? A man who supposedly cared for you tried to drown you to teach you a lesson?”

  Oh, God, why had she admitted that? “I’m here, aren’t I? Obviously, he didn’t drown me. He pulled me out of the pool in time.” Embarrassed she’d told him even that much, she wrapped her arms around her knees in an attempt to fold into herself. “No more. I think you should take me home.”

  He spread his arms across the back of the bench seat like a man who had all the time in the world and was going nowhere. “No.”

  No? Furious, she dropped the cover-up and came at him the way a riled, spitting cat would. So livid she couldn’t see straight, she beat on his chest. And he let her.

  Finally, his arms came around her. “I’m not him, Sugar, but if it helps to pretend I am, then have at me.”

  Who was this man that he’d offer to be a punching bag for all her pent-up rage? Feeling like liquefied butter, she melted into him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what just happened. I’m sorry.”

  “Shhh, sweetheart.” He caressed her bare back. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

  For a few more minutes, she let him hold her and pet her. At some point, she was going to have to lift her face from where it was buried against his neck and look him in the eyes. That she was embarrassed was an understatement. For the life of her, she couldn’t comprehend how she’d so outrageously lost control.

  “You said you wanted to trust me, and I want that from you. You trust that I’d never do anything to hurt you, right?”

  Warily, she leaned back and searched his eyes, wondering what the catch was if she said yes. She saw no trickery in his steady gaze, just the clear, honest stare of a man who’d so far never lied to her.

  “Y-Yes.”

  He chuckled. “That was a half-hearted yes. Say it so I know you mean it.”

  “Yes,” she said with conviction. “I know you will never hurt me.”

  “Good girl.” He took her hands in his and brought one to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “I want you to come into the water with me.”

  Her heart took a dive to her toes. “No, absolutely not.”

  “Listen. I’ll be right with you, and I promise I’ll keep you safe. When I was a SEAL, water was our second home. I’m not asking this to scare you, but to help you face your fear so you can spit in the face of that asshole who lost the right to call himself a man.”

  No, please don’t do it, Hannah screamed in her head. Hearing that frightened voice, she made her decision. She was Sugar, and Sugar could do anything she set her mind to. It had been her mantra from the day she’d escaped her husband.

  She should tell Jamie she was married, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. He would hate her for lying. Not that she’d lied, because he hadn’t asked, but a lie of omission was still a lie. She justified keeping her secret because her time with Jamie wouldn’t last, so it didn’t really matter, did it? Willing to do anything that would enable her to spit in her husband’s face—even if metaphorically—she nodded h
er assent. She would jump into the damn water. It would be another victory over bad cop, and although it would mostly be for Sugar, it would be a little bit for Hannah, too.

  A grin spread across his face, so big that Sugar couldn’t help grinning back. It didn’t mean she wasn’t shaking like a leaf in a windstorm.

  “That’s my girl.”

  His girl. She loved when he said that, and how she wished it was true. He was a man who when he loved, he loved with all that he was. Or so she believed. Maybe not, but she liked thinking it was true. And she wanted to please him, to make him proud of her. So she would get in the water and pray she didn’t panic and drown.

  As if reading her thoughts, he said, “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” His gaze lingered on her bare breast for a moment before he leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss on her mouth, and it was so sweet that she just wanted to crawl into him and live there.

  He dropped his hands and stood. “I’m going in first so I’ll be there for you.”

  The panic returned. “I can’t jump in, I just can’t.”

  “You don’t have to. I’m going to hook a ladder on the stern, and you’ll come down it.”

  Oh, God, what had she been thinking to agree to this? She watched with misgiving as he opened a bin and pulled out a ladder and life vest, the sight of which eased her anxiety a little. But only a little.

  “Do I get to wear that?”

  “You get to hold on to it.” He gave her a wicked grin. “But I’d rather you hold on to me.”

  She’d rather hold on to him and the vest. After hooking the ladder on the back of the boat, he set the vest near it, then dived into the water. Startled, she jumped up and peered over the side where he’d disappeared. The gulf was emerald green and crystal clear, and she watched as he swam to the bottom as if he’d been born a fish. He grabbed something, then shot to the top like a torpedo. His body popped halfway out of the water before sinking back down to his neck.

  Wow. Maybe he really was part fish. He swam to the side of the boat and held up his hand, showing her a bright orange starfish.