Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune

by Neneh J. Gordon

  She gestured for him to sit in the armchair. Everything suddenly seemed so cheap and small – not like his house.

  “And explain things.”

  “Okay.” She took a seat.

  “I’m sorry for overreacting when you wanted to slow things down.”

  Her pulse quickened at the memory of the conversation. “It was really hard for me to tell you I wasn’t going back to Scotland. When you said those things to me...”

  “I know. I’m so, so sorry. You started pushing some buttons that didn’t have anything to do with us and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He looked genuinely distraught.

  She wanted to go to him, put her arms around him and tell him it didn’t matter. But on another level, she thought he deserved every moment of distress. “What buttons?”

  “Before the drinking got really bad and I went to rehab, I was in therapy. I thought I’d worked through everything I needed to. But obviously I was wrong.”

  Why didn’t he just come out with it? She itched to say something, but it was plain he was finding it hard to put his thoughts into words.

  “You know I grew up in care?”

  “Yes.” She remembered reading something about it in an interview once. His parents had died when he was small and he didn’t have any other family. He was one of the success stories – the boy who went through the system and ended up rich and famous. And an addict.

  “Everyone thinks it’s because I was an orphan, but my mum was still alive. She gave me and my brother away.”

  Angelique put her hand to her mouth. Jesus. “What happened?”

  “She couldn’t cope after my father died. Social services stepped in and tried to support her, but she put us in care.”

  How awful. “I’m so sorry, Noah. I didn’t know. How old were you?”

  “Eight. Caleb was six.” He hunched forward in his chair, folding his arms around himself. “I don’t remember much of it. Sort of explains why I don’t handle rejection very well.”

  She tried to put herself in his place. The child who lost his father, then found out his mother didn’t want him any more. “You should have said something.”

  He shook his head. “She died when I was ten. I don’t even think about it most of the time. John pulled me up on it after I hung up on you. I’m sorry. You said you wanted some time, but all I heard was you didn’t want me. I thought you were dumping me—”

  “I never said—”

  “I know, I know. To be honest, I’m not used to the whole relationship thing. I shouldn’t have been like that with you and I apologise.”

  And she’d ignored all his other attempts to say sorry. “Apology accepted.” He looked so wretched she couldn’t say anything else. They sat in her living room, looking at each other while the silence grew deeper and more awkward by the second.

  “Where did the helicopter come from? You can’t afford that.” And it was her fault. If she’d taken his calls, he wouldn’t have gone to such extremes.

  “I know a guy who knows a guy.” His smile triggered a rush of memories that almost drove her into his arms. “And I pawned my acoustic guitar.”

  “You did what?” It may have been old and battered, but she remembered the reverent way he held it. His first guitar. The one he wrote all his songs on. “You sold it?”

  “It’s okay, I’ll get it back. This was more important.”

  She didn’t know what to say. He’d pawned his precious guitar just so he could come and see her. He hadn’t even known if she would forgive him.

  He stood up. “Well, I’d better go.” But he didn’t go anywhere.

  Was he waiting for her to make the first move? She’d been thinking about kissing his lips ever since she opened the door and saw him on the stairs. Now she knew the lengths he’d gone to just to see her, she wanted to do it even more. But something was holding her back. Things had changed between them. She couldn’t just go to him and make everything alright – it wasn’t as simple as that.

  “Come back with me. Come and see the last show tonight.” He grinned at her, his enthusiasm threatening to sweep her away. “It’ll be like the start of the tour – I’ll sing just for you.”

  “I, I can’t. I’m still sorting things out with Wesley. He said I can see Lewis tomorrow.”

  “I’ll get you back in time.”

  It was more than tempting, but what if she got delayed? She couldn’t afford to give Wes any reason to complain. “I’ll see you when you’re back at home.” But she’d still be in the middle of custody arrangements and John was bound to have things lined up to keep Noah busy.

  He looked at her with his huge brown eyes and she felt like a bitch. They both wanted the same thing. It wasn’t fair that she had to keep saying no.

  “Okay.” He looked so disappointed. “Perhaps you could take a few days off. Come away with me.”

  Memories of being with him – the way he’d held her in front of the mirror, the sheer force of his will – tumbled over her and she wanted to say yes. But there were too many things in the way. “I don’t know. Things are still rocky with Wesley. If I go off on holiday he might stop the visits.” She could hear him inside her head – If you wanted to see him you wouldn’t be running off with your new boyfriend.

  “Then when?” His frustration broke through the cautious way he’d been handling her. It was almost a relief to hear him get a little angry.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you that. Maybe in a couple of months—”

  “A couple of months?” He turned away to the door, stopped and faced her again. He held himself back, visibly fighting the pull of his temper. “Okay. A couple of months. But we can meet up before then. I’ll come to you if it makes things easier.”

  And stay in her tiny flat? “I’d like that.” She couldn’t quite picture it, but the idea of him spending the night in her one-bedroom flat was comforting.

  He looked more like himself when he smiled. She smiled back and the awkwardness melted away for a moment or two. That was when she should have gone to him. But the moment passed.

  “Call me when you get back. And good luck with tonight.” She had one final pang of regret – it would have been amazing to share the last gig with him.

  “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.” He waited with his hand on the door, then shook his head and strode back towards her.

  His hands went to her face and he brought his lips down to hers, pushing every thought from her head with a kiss that brought everything they’d shared rushing back to the fore.

  She’d been such a fool. He was there in her arms. He’d apologised. He’d even let go of his guitar just to be with her. There was no reason for her to keep her distance. The custody case was in hand and Noah had said he’d get her home in time for her next visit. She kissed him back with everything she had.

  He took his lips from hers and put them close to her ear. “Come back with me. Just for tonight. Then we can both see Lewis tomorrow.”

  She hadn’t thought she would ever feel this happy again. Speaking would only jinx things, so she just nodded and let him draw her further into his arms.

  He held her for a long few minutes. “I don’t want to move any more than you do, but we’d better go.” When he let go of her, she took his hand – she needed to keep him close.

  “I’ll pack a bag.” Reluctantly, she dropped his hand so she could gather up her things. He followed her into the bedroom and sat on the bed.

  “I’d better go and talk to Wesley.” She didn’t really want to see him, but it would be better than doing it over the phone.

  “Okay, I’ll come with you.”

  “No. I should go on my own.” He’d only just stopped making snide comments about her employer. If she turned up with Noah, Wesley would be at his most combative. “It’ll be easier to handle him that way.”

  He shook his head. “No. I don’t like it.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing since I’ve been back? I see him all the time when
I go to visit Lewis. He hasn’t caused any trouble.” In fact he’d been a hell of a lot more civil than she’d ever imagined.

  “At least let me wait in the car.”

  He was worried about her. His concern sent flutters of excitement through her chest. He cared enough to be worried. “Okay. I’ll call a taxi and you can wait while I talk to him.”

  Noah pulled her over and kissed her forehead. She stopped what she was doing to kiss him properly and his hands went to her waist, tugging her down to his lap.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he said.

  She moaned as his lips moved down to her throat. His hands swept their way over her clothes. She wished there was nothing between them. That they were already lying together with skin on skin and his mouth claiming ownership of her flesh.

  Gently, he eased her off his legs to sit beside him on the bed. “I really don’t want to say this, but as much as I want you, we don’t have time to do this now.”

  She gazed up at him with eyes that didn’t want to focus. Being so close to him made it hard to breathe. He was right, but that didn’t help with the aching lust he’d planted between her legs. Couldn’t they forget about being sensible for an hour or so?

  But she knew the answer to that question. Wiping her mouth, she shuffled away from him and straightened her clothes. Things would be different after that night’s concert. Then they’d have all the time in the world.

  ***

  It didn’t hit Noah how deeply he’d missed Angelique until he got close to her again. Once he felt her soft curves and smelled her rich perfume, he knew he couldn’t leave without her. Not again.

  But something about this visit to Wesley’s house didn’t sit right with him. Something was brewing and he didn’t like it. The story Angie had told him cast a shadow over everything and tainted the evening with foreboding. When the taxi pulled up across the street from the house he tried to reason with her. “Let me come with you. I won’t say anything. But I don’t trust him.”

  But she shook her head and made him stay behind.

  He watched her cross the road and walk through the gate. Concern gnawed at his insides as the front door opened and she went into the house. The minutes passed and he came up with all sorts of scenarios that might be playing out behind that blue door.

  He sat on the edge of the back seat, drumming his fingers against the headrest in front of him. It was taking too long. All she had to do was tell him she would be away overnight.

  Something was wrong. He put his hand on the door handle, then stopped. Angie had asked him to wait. Rushing in there could set her back weeks with Wesley.

  But what if he was hurting her?

  Pulling out his phone, he tapped out a text message. He waited with the phone in his hand. A minute passed, then another, and another. Maybe she hadn’t heard her mobile. Or maybe she wasn’t in a position to answer.

  “How much to wait here?”

  The driver told him and he handed over the cash. He wanted to be worrying over nothing, but he couldn’t take the risk that something had happened with Wesley.

  He jumped out of the car and hurried across the street. After a moment’s hesitation, he raised the knocker and gave three short raps on the door.

  Nothing happened for a good long while, then he heard footsteps walking towards him. But no one opened up.

  He banged on the door with the edge of his fist. “Let me talk to Angie.”

  The door opened a crack and Wesley’s face appeared above the security chain. “I should have known you’d turn up. We’re busy.” He started to close the door, but Noah lifted his foot and kicked it wide open.

  “Angie!”

  Wesley tried to block his path, but he shoved him out of the way and rushed inside.

  “Angie!” He tried the first room off the hall, then the second.

  “Angie. Are you okay?”

  She hurried over to him, almost in tears. “He wouldn’t let me leave.”

  Molten fury took him over. He grabbed Lewis by the shirt and pulled him right up close to his face. “Don’t you ever do anything like this again.”

  “Noah, don’t.”

  Wesley got his hands up between them and broke his hold, but Noah snatched up two more handfuls of his shirt. “You fucking bully.”

  “Noah.” Angie tugged at his arm. “Let go of him.”

  He was only distantly aware of her trying to stop him. His brain was occupied with thoughts of head-butting the bastard into next week.

  “Noah. Stop.”

  “What were you going to do to her?”

  Wesley just sneered.

  “Did he hurt you? Did he... Did he touch you?” The idea made him murderous. Someone had to make this guy stop. The blood pulsed through his veins, urging him to finish the job, but then he looked at Wesley’s expression. He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t even angry.

  “He didn’t do anything.” Angie was the one who looked afraid.

  Noah pushed Wesley away from him. This was what he wanted. How would it play out in court if he hit him now? “Angie, get your bag.”

  She fetched her things and made for the door.

  “Go and wait in the taxi.”

  She looked at them each in turn.

  Noah held her hand and squeezed it. “Go.”

  When she was safely out of the way, Noah took a calming breath and reminded himself that he needed to hold on to his temper. “This stops, now.” He waited for Wesley to spit out a response, but the guy just glared at him so he carried on. “We both know you’ve got no grounds to keep Lewis away from her. And I’m not going to let you fuck her over any more.” He stared him down, growing steadily angrier.

  Wesley shook his head. “Get out.”

  “Gladly.” He turned to leave. Once he was out in the street, it was even harder to hold it together. But he thought of Angie watching him from the car and stopped himself punching a wall. He’d known her ex was a piece of shit, but now he’d seen it for himself he wanted to unsee it. He wanted to drink himself into a blackout that would wipe everything away.

  It’s not worth it. Take a drink and he wins.

  Noah walked over to the taxi and climbed in the back.

  “Are you okay?” He asked her.

  “What did he say? What’s he going to do?” All her control, all her strength was buried way underneath a mountain of worry.

  Seeing her like that made him hate Wesley all the more. “He’s not going to do anything.” He put his arms around her. “There’s nothing he can do.” He kissed the top of her head and told the driver where to go. She rested against his chest and he stroked her cheek. “You’re not going to see him alone again, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Tomorrow, we come back together and I’ll take you to see Lewis.” Wesley would never get the chance to pull another stunt like that. All the legal stuff needed to move faster. They needed everything agreed in writing so Wesley couldn’t go back on his word and she wouldn’t have to deal with him any more. He’d talk to the lawyers. Make sure no last minute conditions got slipped into play – like Angie having to visit Lewis at Wesley’s house. It seemed the guy would stoop to anything where she was concerned.

  But he was prepared for whatever Wesley wanted to try. It was time he learned where the boundaries were. As long as Noah was around, Angie was off-limits.

  CHAPTER 15

  The noise from the helicopter would have made any attempt at conversation impossible, but Angelique was pretty sure Noah felt as much like talking as she did. She didn’t blame him. The further away from Wesley she got, the more stupid she felt. How could she have put herself in that situation? She couldn’t let the fear of losing Lewis stop her from standing up to him. If he wanted to make things difficult, the worst outcome would have been supervised visits. Even that would be better than letting him push her around.

  As they flew over green fields criss-crossed by roads and hedges, she snatched glimpses of Noah, looking away before he caught her.
What must he think of her? She’d been employed to look after him but he’d had to come and rescue her. And then there was her sordid history. She kept expecting him to tell her he’d made a mistake and ask the pilot to bring them in to land. Eventually, she decided he was trying to let her down easy.

  She wanted to believe what he’d said back at the house, but that had been in the heat of the moment. Once he’d had time to think about things, he’d see how useless she was. He was getting well again and she’d be nothing but a burden.

  It would have been awkward for him to take back his invitation to the gig after everything that had gone on. But once the tour was over... He’d probably end it then.

  Noah tapped her on the arm. “Say goodbye to England.”

  She looked down at the countryside. There was no obvious sign of what was Wales and what was England. Her stomach churned. There was a good chance he would have dumped her by the time she crossed the border again.

  ***

  Almost as soon as their feet were on the ground, Noah was whisked away to get ready for the final show. He tried to tell Angie he’d see her later, but he could tell she was preoccupied – still thinking about Wesley. He’d have to work on getting her to come away for a couple of days. That woman needed a chance to relax.

  He’d always enjoyed riding in a helicopter before, but Angie had been so distant the journey had just put his nerves on edge. Every time he thought about Wesley’s smug face, he wanted to smash something. All this was his fault. They should have been looking forward to his big night, but instead they were both wrung out. He’d gone back to see her so that they could reconnect, but because of Wesley they were further apart than ever.

  He’d talk to her. Explain how he felt. He wished he could do it right then, but John was hanging around, fretting over every last detail of the concert. Whenever he stuck his head round the dressing room door, his manager would shoo him back in. It would have to wait until later.

  But in the meantime, he had an ace up his sleeve that should help matters along.

  ***

  With ten minutes left before Noah and the band hit the stage, Angelique would have left but she didn’t know where else to go. Pacing in the wings, she watched them take up their positions. The crowd roared at the sight of the man they’d come to see. He deserved the adulation – she’d seen how hard he worked, how much it took out of him.