by Lynn Patrick
She hadn’t been ready for a job offer. She didn’t even know if she wanted to accept.
In reality, she hadn’t done so. The vice president who’d interviewed her had simply assumed that she would jump at the opportunity.
So, why hadn’t she?
It had taken all her charm and persuasiveness to get her prospective employer to give her time to straighten things out in Sparrow Lake. She’d estimated a month; he’d countered with the standard two weeks. In the end, she’d neither accepted nor declined the position, but had promised a definitive answer by the following Monday.
Soon, the sleek Jaguar appeared, gliding in and out of traffic. A little thrill ran through Kristen, but she wasn’t certain whether it was because she was going to see Alex or because he would ask her about the job. He pulled the car over to the curb and opened the door. She got in, greeting him with a wan smile.
“So?” he asked.
“So what?”
He was having none of her evasions. “Come on. Do you think you’ll get the job or not?”
“Um, maybe.”
“Maybe?”
Feeling doubly pressured, Kristen said, “Let’s discuss it when we get to Navy Pier.” Which is where they’d decided to go that evening.
“All right.” But Alex didn’t look all right. He hid his scowl quickly, though, and took off.
As always, downtown Chicago was crowded, the streets bumper to bumper. The complete opposite of Sparrow Lake. Unable to help making comparisons between the two places she could live, Kristen had to admit that it was nice not having to face the crush of traffic every day. One for Sparrow Lake.
Alex had chosen Toscana, a restaurant on the Pier known for fine Italian cuisine. In contrast, Sparrow Lake had places like the Busy Corner. Not that her decision would be made because of the quality of restaurants or the amount of traffic she would have to endure.
She had to admit Alex looked just as at ease in either environment. Tonight he wore a dark shirt and tie with his crisp sport coat and slacks, making him as well-dressed as any of the other restaurant patrons.
She was happy he didn’t bring up the job interview until after they’d left the restaurant and were walking down the broad concrete expanse of the pier. A historic structure built in 1916 to dock freighters as well as passenger ships, the pier was also designed as a cool place for public events before air conditioning was invented. Now the place housed a lively mix of shops and restaurants, plus a large conference space. Boats still docked there, as well, though they were meant to give visitors tours of the lakefront or serve as places to book private parties.
They were admiring a modern metal-hulled version of a four-master when Alex said, “You were in that interview for hours. Must have had plenty to talk about.”
She turned the conversation back to him. “I hope you weren’t bored waiting around.”
“I called my brother and an old colleague.”
“One of your police contacts?”
“Uh-huh. Jimmy Rodriguez. We worked in the same unit. Good man.”
“The gang unit?” When Alex nodded, she asked, “You don’t miss anything about being a cop in Chicago?”
“I miss some of the people. Not the work.”
“You just decided one day it was too depressing and quit?”
“There was a lot of stuff going down. I was taken off the street and put at a desk for a while.”
“You didn’t mention that before.”
“I don’t like to think about it.”
Alex had obviously gotten into trouble and had painful memories, Kristen thought as they paused to gaze out over the lake. The summer sun was sinking and the water looked dark blue-gray. On the horizon, lights from the urban skyline sparkled.
“You might as well know what happened. I shot a kid and he was critically wounded….”
She hadn’t expected anything quite so dire. “Oh, how terrible!” She quickly added, “But you must have had a good reason.”
“Sure. He was armed, and he was firing at us.” Alex took a deep breath. “But he wasn’t even sixteen years old.”
“I can’t imagine you shooting anyone. You’re such a caring person.”
“But I’m also a law enforcer.” For once, he was blunt. “We do what we have to do, and sometimes that isn’t easy or pretty.”
She merely nodded and reached over to touch his hand. He grasped her fingers and held them.
“Anyway, the upshot is I resigned and headed for tamer places. I wanted to go somewhere I could make a difference and actually see the results.”
“You do make a difference in Sparrow Lake.” A man like Alex would make a difference wherever he went, though she could totally understand why he’d left the city. Not that bad things couldn’t happen anywhere.
They walked on in silence, hand in hand. After a few more minutes, Alex said, “But let’s get back to your job interview. Now that we’re out here and fed and relaxed, who’s giving the ‘maybe’ for this job? Is the company deciding for sure if they want you?”
“They actually appreciate my experience and background.”
“But they have other applicants?”
“I’m sure.”
A muscle in Alex’s cheek worked as he stared at her. “You’re not giving me straight answers, Kristen. Be honest, here, would you? What exactly went down?”
Though Kristen would have liked to evade the question for the evening, she knew he wasn’t going to let her. “They offered me the job.”
Alex gazed at her intently. “You’re not celebrating. Does that mean you didn’t accept? Why not? I thought that’s what you wanted.”
She looked into his eyes and felt more torn than ever. “I thought so, too, but now that I have the offer, my decision just isn’t as clear-cut as I thought it would be.”
“You’re having mixed feelings?”
“Yes.” Absolutely true, Kristen thought. Mostly because of him.
“Good.”
Something about the way he said that word irritated her. “It’s not a negative thing to work for an up-and-coming company in a big city. It’s not dangerous like your job was, either.”
“I didn’t say that it was negative.”
“But you implied it.”
“I don’t think I did. I’m just happy you’re questioning whether or not marketing for a big urban company is what you want to do.”
Her pulse picked up a beat. “Because you believe I should be satisfied managing a place like Sew Fine?”
“What’s wrong with Sew Fine? It’s a family business.”
“Maybe I can better help my family by making more money. I could pay part of Brian’s tuition.” She’d already thought about that. “Or I could invest in Aunt Margaret’s business.”
“You could,” he agreed. “But maybe your family would appreciate having you more than they would your money.”
“It’s my decision.”
“True. But there are a lot of other people who will be affected by it.”
Including Alex himself, and he was obviously feeling insecure. Kristen didn’t want to think her moving to Chicago meant she would never see him again. The thought put a knot in her stomach.
“We can still see each other, date, even if I don’t live and work in Sparrow Lake,” Kristen told him.
“Maybe.”
“What do you mean, maybe?” she asked, her voice going tight.
“I’ve heard that you like to work on weekends.”
Who had been talking about that? It was the second time he’d mentioned it. She countered, “I don’t like to work weekends but if you’re a professional, you sometimes don’t have a choice.”
They had reached the barrier at the end of the pier. An elderly couple walked toward them, the woman grasping the arm of her companion. They looked as though they had been a couple for a very long time. Kristen couldn’t help wondering if she and Alex would ever be able to grow old together. Then she shook her head—where had that though
t come from?
“Is something the matter?” Alex asked.
She hated to ask, but she felt compelled to do so. “Would you not want to date me if I lived in Chicago?”
“I want to date you no matter where you are.”
She felt happier with that remark, but she still couldn’t relax. She watched as the elderly couple came abreast of them and moved on. The woman of the pair exchanged a smile with her. She was a sweet-faced lady, wearing a flowered hat and carrying a large white purse.
“It’s just that it would be easier if you lived closer, considering I would like to spend more time with you,” Alex explained.
“Not night and day, surely, 24/7?”
“I didn’t say that….”
But he sounded as if he meant that.
He went on. “You’re a woman who likes to work and, well, that’s fine with me. I just think you need someone to distract you once in a while and he has to live in close proximity.”
“You’re not just a distraction to me,” she told him, thinking perhaps he didn’t realize how much she wanted to be with him, as well.
“I’m glad to hear that.” He gazed at her intently. “I don’t know how it’s been for you, Kristen, but I have to tell you that I’m developing feelings for you.”
Was he talking about love? She swallowed hard. “You are?”
“Feelings that could easily become serious.”
The thought stunned her. She’d avoided analyzing exactly how she felt about him. They hadn’t even known each other a month. Things were continuing to go too fast for her.
Alex sighed. “I’m getting the idea you want your space again.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Awash with powerful feelings, Kristen looked out at the broad expanse of the lake, which was restless as usual. Waves undulated against the shore. She didn’t know how to respond. Her throat felt constricted. But Alex had just laid his heart on the table. She had to say something.
“I’m in a transitional phase of my life, Alex. It’s…it’s too soon. It’s only been weeks. I have so many decisions to make. About work…family…and what I want to do with my professional life…”
A loud cry interrupted her. She and Alex both jerked around to look behind them. To Kristen’s horror, she saw a youth grappling for the elderly lady’s white purse. The old man tried to intervene and the thief struck him so hard, he fell to his knees.
“Hey!” shouted Alex, taking off.
“Help!” cried the woman, whose companion had now toppled to the sidewalk.
The thief ran and Alex ran after him. Kristen hurried toward the couple. The old man was already trying to get up again.
“Maybe you should stay down,” Kristen told him. “We’ll call an ambulance.”
“Ah, I’m not hurt,” muttered the fallen man. “Just my dignity.” But he accepted Kristen’s help in getting to his feet. “I’m shook up, is all.”
A crowd was gathering, and a cop had appeared on a Segway, a motorized two-wheel scooter. As she watched, Alex helped the policeman grab the young thief, throw him down on the sidewalk, and fasten his wrists with handcuffs. In another minute, the place was ablaze with blue flashing lights as several police cars drove up onto the promenade of the pier.
As soon as the suspect was headed for the nearest police station, along with the couple to give their statements, Alex rejoined Kristen. “I’m ready to go home. You?”
“Sure.”
They headed for the parking lot on the other side of the pier, crossing the mall that housed shops and restaurants.
“That was shocking,” said Kristen.
“Yeah.”
“Just a kid?”
Alex nodded, his expression stormy. “Probably all of fourteen and already headed for a life in prison. Or worse.”
“Worse?”
“He could be dead in a few years. That can happen when they get involved in crime, then pick up with other criminals. Gangs.”
“How terrible.”
Alex didn’t answer, steering her toward the other side of the pier and the parking lot. “I’m never moving back to Chicago, Kristen.”
Maybe even visiting the place made him uncomfortable. Would he want to maintain a relationship with a woman who lived here? Kristen didn’t know what to say.
*
THEY WERE SILENT much of the way back to Sparrow Lake.
Finally, Kristen said, “I guess it’s more dangerous to live in the city than a small town.”
Alex didn’t want her making a decision based on fear. He tried to be reassuring. “Bad things can happen anyplace.”
“Uh-huh. I lived in the city for years and I never saw a crime happening.”
“Today was your turn.” Alex wanted to lighten up the conversation, lessen the tension radiating through the car. He changed the subject, “So, how’re things with your aunt?”
“Excellent, it seems. She’s been seeing John. They’re getting along very well.”
At the moment, though he cared about his friends, Alex wasn’t interested in hearing about other relationships. Before the purse snatching, Kristen had indicated she didn’t feel the same about him as he felt about her. It had been one bust of an evening.
Still, he managed to mutter, “That’s great.”
“You wouldn’t think a man like John would be interested in art. He’s pretty conservative.”
“Conservative-looking, anyway.”
“In comparison to Aunt Margaret.” Kristen’s soft laugh sounded a little tense. “John doesn’t stand his hair on end or wear clashing colors.”
“Margaret must have a good time figuring out what to wear every day.”
“She has her closet organized like a color wheel.”
They sped along the freeway north to Wisconsin, along with a smattering of other cars. Trying to make conversation to avoid more dead silence, Alex said, “Not too much traffic tonight.”
“I’m glad we decided to have dinner. Otherwise, we would have been caught in rush hour.”
“That’s something I’ve never understood. There wouldn’t be a rush hour if everybody didn’t want to go to work and come home at the same time,” Alex said. “Why don’t they space it out? I’ve never understood people’s reasoning.”
“Your hours have never been nine to five, right?”
“I guess not. I kind of like it that way.”
“Most people want to be with their families in the evening and on weekends. School and jobs have to coincide for that to happen.”
“I suppose so.”
He only wished she wanted to line up her life more in sync with his. To give them a chance to work. But, having calmed down, he told himself that at least she hadn’t completely rejected him.
Kristen peered out the window. “I can almost see the stars again, now that we’re farther out from Chicago.”
Which reminded Alex of the night they’d sat above Sparrow Lake and watched the moon come up. The kisses they’d shared had been just as beautiful.
“But I like the blaze of lights from the tall buildings, too,” Kristen mused.
“Uh-huh.”
What else could Alex say? He knew what he preferred, where he wanted to live. And Kristen wasn’t sure. Perhaps the discrepancy in how they felt about each other had to do with his knowing exactly what he wanted, while she was at, as she’d said, a transitional point in her life. The fact was, she might be too transitional to want to develop something serious with him. He had to accept that possibility, and he had to take care of himself. Maybe he should back off.
In another few minutes, he turned off the freeway onto the local highway toward town. There was only one other car visible far ahead, its red taillights winking in the darkness.
“It’s amazing how things change when you get off the more-traveled routes,” murmured Kristen.
Which, for more than half of the country’s population, would be living in a city, Alex thought. “It’s like a different world,” he
said.
One in which he couldn’t be sure that Kristen wanted to live, even with him. “I’m sorry if the evening kind of brought you down.”
“It’s not your fault that some kid decided to steal a purse.”
*
THOUGH IT WAS his fault that he’d laid his heart bare right before the incident and then been disappointed when she hadn’t responded as he’d desired. Trying not to let that get him down, he drove her to her house, parked and got out to walk her to the door.
“That’s okay. I’ll be all right,” she told him when he came around the car to accompany her.
Was she already intent on doing without him? he wondered. “I want to say good-night properly.”
In case it was also goodbye.
For all he knew, this could be the last time he would see her alone. Maybe she’d pack up and head back to Chicago, the place he’d bid a permanent farewell to.
The thought tore him up, but there was nothing he could do to change the way she felt. He’d already tried his best.
They walked along silently, Alex aware of the gentle sound of the wind in the trees and the less gentle beat of his heart. At the door, he reached for Kristen and enfolded her in his arms. Then he kissed her, savoring the sweetness of her lips and the subtle, clean smell of her skin. She felt perfect against him, perfectly partnering him.
Why couldn’t she recognize that?
When Kristen wound her arms around his neck, he wanted to squeeze her tighter, but he merely kissed her again, then drew back to trace the outline of her beautiful nose with one finger.
“Well, good night,” he said reluctantly, his heart full to the breaking point.
“Good night,” she whispered.
Then he walked away, wondering if he was going to have to learn to live without her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE DAY AFTER her interview in Chicago, Kristen woke up tired. She’d tossed and turned all night, unable to get Alex off her mind. Still, she made it to work on time, entering through the back door of Sew Fine, going straight to her desk and turning on her computer.
