Barkley's Body Swap and Pawn Shop

by Shane Griffin

Barkley's Body Swap and Pawn Shop

  By

  Shane Griffin

  Smash Words Edition Published by Poupichou Press

  Copyright Shane Griffin 2012

  Dedicated to the memory of my Uncle – Leslie Hume

  An inspirational man in a broken body

  #

  Ferret skulked nervously in the shadows of the narrow alleyway. For about the sixtieth time in as many minutes he covertly surveyed the street and his destination, the pawn shop that was located no more than 50 metres down the road.

  He rubbed both of his eyes vigorously and simultaneously with the palms of his hands. They were red and irritated, partially from fatigue, but also from other more dubious excesses. He blamed the former, having not been able to return to his shitty apartment or anywhere else familiar for the last week. Right now anything familiar was likely to cost him his life and he did not like that idea one bit.

  While most normal people would have measured his life as gutter trash he was, if nothing else, a survivor and he was not inclined to give up life, no matter how slovenly it was. In fact backstabbing and doublecrossing people at every turn in order to save his neck or get his next hit were the closest thing he had to formal qualifications. It had all been working well for him up until recently too. Unfortunately no amount of con was going to get him out of trouble this time.

  A car turned into the street so he quickly slunk back into the depths of the alleyway. He felt safer in the shadows. He’d never had much use for daylight, too many people could see what you were up to, which is why he normally reserved it for sleeping.

  The sound of the car faded and he poked his head out of the shadows to survey the street once more. Finally, the front door of the pawn shop was open. It was time to give up his old life and start a new one. He almost pitied the sucker he was about to swindle, almost. On the other hand anyone stupid enough to pay what this guy was going to pay deserved all the problems he was about to walk into.

  For his part he had no concerns of escaping any issues some white collar clean cut was trying to avoid. The establishment had always been the least of his worries and nothing a good bribe couldn’t solve.

  He pulled his hood over his head and scurried along the street like a rat, trying at all times to keep close by some type of cover. Nobody paid him any attention, but it still felt like everyone in the street was watching him, his paranoia probably warranted for once.

  When he reached the pawn shop he took one last survey of the street for good measure then stepped inside. He stayed momentarily at the exit as he looked around inside the store. Although he had never worked this end of town before he was sure he recognised some merchandise that he had stolen, sold and probably stolen again.

  “You right there mate?” said the shopkeeper from behind his counter at the rear of the shop. He was tallish with a weedy build. He appeared to be in his fifties and was sporting a grey moustache as well as a long gray pony tail, which was in odd combination with his receding hairline.

  The question brought Ferret out of his reverie as he realised he had gone into autopilot and was casing the joint.

  “Um, yeah. You Barkley?”

  The shopkeeper raised one eyebrow and frowned at the same time.

  “I don’t usually conduct business with anyone unless they actually come into the shop mate.”

  Ferret took one last look outside then walked over to the counter, noting that there seemed to be a back exit behind it.

  “Well are you Barkley or what?”

  “Who’s asking?”

  “You’ll know me as Mr Dark. I paid for some very expensive merchandise from Barkley and it appears defective so I’d like to swap for an equivalent model.”

  “You have come to the right place Mr Dark, I’m Barkley. I received and verified your payment. Of course I’d be happy to make an exchange,” replied Barkley in his most customer friendly voice. “If you’d just step this way and I can show you what I have in stock in the back room.”

  Ferret followed Barkley around behind the counter and through the exit at the back. The door led to a short dark corridor. There were three exits from it, one leading straight out into the alley at the rear of the store. The other two were on the opposite sides of the corridor. Barkley opened the left door and beckoned him inside. Force of habit held him back.

  “You first Barkley, it’s your store after all.”

  Barkley shook his head slightly and stepped through first. Ferret followed cautiously. Barkley threw on the light switch and closed the door behind them when they were both inside and locked it.

  Ferret looked around the room. There was a rather dirty sink and several shelves filled with backroom merchandise, the sort you did not keep on the front shelves without attracting the attention from the establishment. There was also a large cabinet sitting to one side that appeared to be filled with various medical supplies.

  “Right, this room is protected so it’s safe to talk freely. Strip off your shirt and put your head over the sink,” ordered Barkley.

  “What for?”

  “Because I have to shave your head first and I don’t like sweeping up.”

  Ferret did as he was asked and Barkley produced a set of electric hair clippers. He first shaved Ferret’s head as close as the clippers would allow and then to bare skin with a disposable razor. When he had finished Ferret looked at himself in the mirror above the sink.

  He’d never seen himself without hair before and for a moment her felt like he was looking at a stranger, something he was going to have to get used to very soon.

  “Take a good look because it will be the last time you will see that reflection.”

  “I’m gonna stick out like dogs balls with a shaved head. You sure my money covers insurance because I hocked everything I have and a bunch of stuff that wasn’t mine to pay for this.”

  “Relax you’ll be getting exactly what you paid for. If you didn’t how would I get more business. Now let’s go, the longer we delay the more likely one of you is going to want to back out.”

  Barkley lead him back out of the room and across the hallway into a second room. This room was filled with various medical looking devices and a bank of strange electronic equipment along one wall. There were wires running every which way with the majority culminating into two devices above the two dentist style chairs in the centre of the room.

  “Last chance to back out, but remember I keep fifty percent of the fee for wasting my time if you do.”

  “If I had any other choice I wouldn’t be here in the first place, so let’s get this over with. Where is the other guy?”

  Barkley locked the door of the room again then pushed a button on one of the equipment banks and a hidden door at the rear of the room slid slowly open.

  “Mr Black, meet Mr White your contracted body swap.”

  Ferret thought that he was mentally prepared for every eventuality that came with doing a blind and illegal body swap, but we was not prepared for the crumpled and twisted form of a man that sat in the electric wheelchair in front of him.

  “You motherf...” cried Ferret as he spun around to face Barkley, pulling his trusty hidden laser blade from his pants as he did so. His series of expletives were cut short however as a stun bolt hit him fair in the chest and rendered him unconscious.