The Baby Arrangement

by Moyra Tarling

  And he’d missed his son, more than he thought possible. Missed the nightly ritual of bathing him, feeding him his bottle and rocking him to sleep. But Nicky wasn’t the only one Jared missed while in L.A. He’d missed Faith, her quiet reserve, her poise, her warmth, and most of all her smile.

  Suddenly Jared’s thoughts shifted to the night of the barbecue, recalling how incredibly beautiful Faith had looked and how she’d proved herself to be a wonderful hostess. Her friendly personality and genuine warmth had easily won over his friends.

  His intention that night when he’d started flirting with her had simply been to rattle her defenses in the hope she would reveal her true identity and perhaps even tell him what Paula was planning.

  By the time their guests departed, he’d convinced himself a kiss was all that was necessary in order to force her into the open.

  His plan had backfired the moment his mouth touched hers, because he’d forgotten everything but the woman in his arms.

  She’d tasted like heaven, pure and sweet, and her natural sensuality had wound around his heart, pulling him into deep, treacherous waters. The feel of her body pressed hard against his had ignited a need more powerful than anything he’d ever felt before.

  When she’d broken the kiss it had taken him all his strength not to haul her back into his arms, but the look of distress and dismay clouding her green eyes had stopped him cold.

  His thoughts were cut off when the telephone on his desk started ringing. With a muffled curse, Jared snatched up the receiver.

  “Yes!” he barked.

  “Jared? It’s me. Is something wrong?” The sound of Faith’s anxious voice caught him off guard, and he felt his heart jam against his ribs in response.

  “Sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, Jared, but I was beginning to worry.”

  In the background Jared could hear Nicky making baby noises. “What time is it?”

  “It’s almost six-thirty, but—”

  “Six-thirty? I guess I lost track of time. Is that Nicky I hear? You haven’t given him his bath yet, have you?”

  “That’s your job. The swimming goggles and snorkel don’t fit me, remember?” she teased.

  Jared chuckled. “The way Nicky kicks and splashes I’ve been thinking I should invest in a wet suit.”

  Faith laughed.

  “Thanks for calling. I’ll be home soon,” Jared said before hanging up.

  Faith slowly replaced the receiver. Jared’s words echoed in her ears, sending a shiver of longing through her.

  Nicky squealed, distracting her, and she turned to smile at him through a haze of tears.

  “Your daddy said he’d be home right away,” Faith told Nicky, and received a smile in response. “You love your daddy, don’t you?” she cooed. “And he loves you. Yes, he does,” she added, and Nicky gurgled with delight.

  Faith undid the safety straps and lifted Nicky out of the baby seat. She kissed his cheek, inhaling the scent of baby powder and baby and tried to ignore the little voice inside her head telling her time was running out for her, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.

  “I’d like you to take a look at these,” Jared said when he joined Faith in the living room after he’d given Nicky his bath and put him to bed. “They’re the replies for the nanny ad,” he explained as he dropped the file folder onto the coffee table.

  Faith felt her heart skip a beat. “Have you read them?” she asked, leaning forward to retrieve the file.

  “That’s what I was doing when you called. Have a look and give me your opinion,” he said. Crossing to the hearth, he added a log to the fue.

  For the next twenty minutes Faith read the letters and accompanying résumés of the eight applicants, finding only four she thought worthy of an interview.

  “These four have good references and qualifications,” she said, pushing the loose papers across the coffee table toward him. “The others don’t have enough experience. At least, that’s my opinion.”

  Jared picked up the letters and studied the four applicants Faith had recommended.

  “I agree with you,” he said a few moments later. “I’ll get Sally to call these women tomorrow and set up interviews.” He paused and met her gaze. “Thanks again.”

  “No problem. Nicky’s welfare is important to me,” she said, warmed by his words.

  “He’s going to miss you.”

  “And I’ll miss him.” Her voice was husky with repressed emotion. And I’m going to miss you, Jared she added silently, letting her glance slide to the fire, fearful he’d glimpse the look of longing she knew had to be shining in her eyes.

  “Of course, you do know you’ll be welcome here any time.”

  “Thank you,” Faith managed to respond.

  “You amaze me.”

  Startled, Faith turned to look at him. “I don’t understand.”

  “After all you’ve been through, you still soldier on.”

  Tears stung her eyes. “It’s been tough, I won’t deny it,” she said with a watery smile. “But life goes on, and it wouldn’t be fair to Nicky to mope around all day and feel sorry for myself.”

  She stared into the flames and sighed. “Paula and I had our differences, but I loved her. She’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

  “And in mine,” Jared said softly.

  Pain sliced through her at his comment, which confirmed that he’d hoped Paula’s visit might have led to a reconciliation. Tears, ever close to the surface, overflowed and spilled down her cheeks.

  Seeing them, Jared threw the letters down on the coffee table and knelt on the floor in front of her, concern and something more etched on his handsome features.

  “Faith, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  Brushing the tears aside, Faith shook her head. “I’m fine,” she said, all the while wishing he’d take her in his arms and comfort her, just as he’d done the night Paula died.

  Faith doubted she would ever forget how it felt to be enfolded in Jared’s arms, to feel his warmth, his strength.

  “Here.” Jared thrust at her a handful of tissues from the box on the end table nearby. Rising, he moved to sit on the seat beside her.

  She blew her nose and wiped the moisture from her eyes. Taking a steadying breath, she turned to meet his gaze.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “Hey...don’t apologize. Crying is a way of helping to ease the pain and the sorrow.”

  Silently he berated himself for being the cause of her distress. Lately he seemed to have made a habit of upsetting her.

  The urge to take her in his arms and comfort her was almost irresistible, but suddenly he was inexplicably afraid, afraid of the emotions she evoked, afraid simply holding her wouldn’t be enough.

  Chapter Ten

  Faith sat on the sundeck, a sketch pad on her lap. It had rained most of the morning, but the clouds had gradually moved out to sea and the sun was making a valiant effort to brighten up what was left of the day.

  She put the finishing touches to the sketch she’d been working on for the past hour, pleased she’d managed to capture the expression of love on Jared’s face as he sat in the rocking chair with Nicky in his arms.

  Gazing at her detailed drawing, she found herself wishing Jared would look at her that way, then silently she scolded herself for being so fanciful.

  Almost a week had passed since she’d read through the applications he’d brought home. She assumed he’d already arranged for interviews, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask.

  She knew she was avoiding the issue, but the thought of someone else taking care of Nicky, feeding him his bottle, rocking him to sleep, loving him, tore at her heart.

  When the peal of the doorbell echoed through the house, Faith closed her sketch pad and hurried inside. Dropping the pad on the kitchen table, she headed for the front door.

  “Maggie! Hi. How are you?
” Faith asked.

  “I’m fine!” Maggie responded. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

  “Ah...no. It’s lovely to see you. Please, come in.”

  “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by without calling first,” Maggie said as she stepped inside.

  “Of course not,” Faith replied, glad of the company, but unsure just what to say. Jared had told her he’d planned to talk to Dylan and Maggie and explain to them she would be leaving. But Faith wasn’t sure if Jared had gotten around to it yet, or of just how much he’d shared.

  “You didn’t bring Dylan junior with you,” Faith said, disappointed not to see the little boy. “Has the tooth he’s been cutting finally come through?”

  “Would you believe I was up several times during the night with him, and this morning we noticed both bottom teeth had made an appearance.”

  “I guess that explains why he’s been so out of sorts lately. Poor little guy,”

  “What about poor little me?” Maggie joked as she followed Faith to the kitchen. “I told Dylan I’d be back in ten minutes. I just needed some female company for a change.”

  Faith flashed a knowing grin over her shoulder. “Do you have enough time for a cup of tea?”

  “Sure,” Maggie replied with a smile. Sliding off her raincoat, she dropped it over one of the kitchen chairs. “Where’s Nicky?” she asked as she sat down.

  “He’s napping,” Faith replied, moving to the sink.

  “Jared says you’re leaving,” Maggie said.

  “That’s right.” Faith darted her a cautious glance.

  “Jared also told us, though he really didn’t have to, why you’re leaving,” Maggie went on.

  “Oh, I see.” It was all Faith could think to say. If Maggie and Dylan knew she wasn’t Paula, that she’d been impersonating her twin, she couldn’t blame Maggie if she was upset or angry at having been deceived.

  “You know, it’s funny, but from the moment you answered the phone that day, I knew there was something different about you.”

  “Maggie, I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me for deceiving you. My only excuse is, I thought I was doing what was best for Nicky.”

  “I understand. Truly I do. Jared admitted he should never have let us believe he and Paula were married. He knew it was wrong, but I suppose in his own way he was just trying to protect his unborn child.”

  Faith nodded, pleased for Jared’s sake his friends were so generous and understanding.

  “Faith...may I call you Faith?”

  “Of course.”

  “I just want to say how sorry we are about Paula’s death. And sorry, too, that you’ll be leaving.”

  “Thank you,” Faith managed to say. She didn’t deserve Maggie’s understanding, but she was glad of it all the same.

  “What’s this?” Maggie suddenly asked.

  Faith turned in time to see Maggie flip open the sketch pad she’d tossed on the table.

  “These are really good. Jared mentioned you were an illustrator for children’s books. Is that right?”

  “Yes,” Faith said, wishing she could snatch the pad away before Maggie reached the sketch of Jared.

  “Wow! This one of Jared and Nicky is wonderful.” Maggie’s tone was sincere. “You’ve drawn them with such love....” She stopped abruptly and looked up at Faith. “Has Jared seen this?”

  “No!” Faith replied a little too loudly. She crossed to the table. “Besides, they’re just scribbles,” she added as she placed a cup and saucer in front of Maggie.

  Reaching for the sketch pad, Faith closed it and pushed it aside, aware all the while that Maggie was watching her.

  “Jared said he’s hiring a nanny for Nicky.”

  Faith drew a steadying breath. “Yes.” She returned to the stove and after dropping a tea bag into the teapot, filled it from the kettle. “In fact, he’ll be interviewing prospective candidates very soon—if he hasn’t already. And once he’s chosen someone, I’ll be heading back to San Francisco,” Faith added, keeping her tone light.

  “Is that really what you want? To go back to San Francisco, I mean?”

  “Yes,” Faith responded easily, though she avoided meeting Maggie’s eyes as she set the teapot on the table. “Why do you ask?”

  “Because after seeing that sketch you drew of Jared, I’d say leaving here is the last thing you want to do.”

  Faith darted a startled glance at her friend. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s really quite obvious.”

  “What’s obvious?” Faith asked, frowning now.

  Maggie smiled. “That you’re in love with Jared, of course!”

  Faith inhaled sharply. “That’s ridiculous!”

  “Is it?” Maggie countered, smiling at her.

  “I’m not in love with Jared,” Faith stated with a calmness she was far from feeling. “I mean, I can’t be in love with Jared,” she added, sounding far less confident. “I don’t want to be in love with Jared,” she insisted, but her voice lacked conviction.

  With each denial Maggie’s smile had grown wider, and suddenly Faith realized Maggie was right. She loved Jared, loved everything about him—his smile, his warmth, his strength, his compassion and most of all his commitment to Nicky.

  “I think it’s wonderful,” Maggie said as she poured tea into the two cups. “And as for Jared, I’ve never seen him happier.”

  Faith felt like crying. “Maggie? What am I going to do?” Despair edged her voice.

  Before Maggie could answer, the telephone rang.

  “That’s probably Dylan. I’d better take a rain check on the tea.” Maggie jumped to her feet and reached for her raincoat. “Tell him I’m on my way,” she added as the phone rang a second time. “Oh, and Faith.” Maggie slowed to a halt. “Jared’s a very lucky man.”

  Faith managed a weak smile as she reached for the receiver. “Hello!”

  “Faith? Rupert Berrisford here. I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”

  “Mr. Berrisford! This is a surprise,” Faith responded. She’d called her editor, Brad Potter, a few days ago to let him know where he could reach her, but she certainly hadn’t expected to hear from Rupert Berrisford, the managing editor of Berrisford Publishers.

  “A pleasant one, I hope,” Rupert Berrisford said. “I wanted to be the one to call and give you the news.”

  “News?”

  “We’ve had a request from one of our renowned authors asking if you’d be interested in doing the illustrations for his newest project.,” he told her.

  “Really?” Faith said, trying to sound suitably impressed. “Who is the author?”

  “Jake Jones.”

  “Jake Jones? The man who writes those delightful and funny children’s picture books?” Faith asked, trying not to sound too excited. This was the opportunity of a lifetime.

  “Jake has come up with a brand-new character. He’s very excited about it, and we, as his publishers, are excited, too. He told me how much he admires your work, and he’d like you to read his latest manuscript and submit drawings for the project. Are you interested?”

  Faith couldn’t seem to find her voice. Her head was spinning, still trying to digest the news that Jake Jones admired her work.

  “Of course, I’m interested,” she exclaimed, excitement vibrating through her voice.

  “Good. That wasn’t too difficult, was it?” Berrisford said, his tone amused. “And Faith, just let me say both Brad and I have every confidence in you and your work. We know you’re up to the challenge.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Berrisford,” Faith said, warmed by the support.

  “We’ll set things in motion. It might take a week or two. Jake is in Colorado at the moment, but as soon as he gets back I’ll get Brad to contact you to tell you when to expect the manuscript.”

  “Fine. And thanks again, Mr. Berrisford.”

  Faith slowly replaced the receiver. She should be bouncing off the walls. But already she could feel her excitement, like
a balloon with a slow leak, beginning to dissipate. She’d just been offered the opportunity of a lifetime, the chance to work with a writer she greatly admired, so why did she feel so lost and empty inside?

  Because it wasn’t enough, a voice inside her head replied. Maggie had forced her to face the truth, a truth she’d been avoiding.

  She loved Jared, loved him with a depth of emotion she’d never felt before, and while her work brought her a great deal of satisfaction, what she really wanted was to stay in Grace Harbor and be a mother to Nicky, and a wife to the man who was his father.

  It was almost five-thirty when Jared walked through from the garage. The smell of garlic and oregano drifted toward him, the appetizing aroma making his mouth water.

  As he strode toward the kitchen he heard the sound of someone singing. The sight of Faith, dressed in hip-hugging jeans and a pale blue sweater, waltzing around the work island carrying Nicky in her arms brought him to a halt.

  She’d never looked more beautiful, or more desirable. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds, her cheeks were a delicate pink, her mouth...ah...her mouth.

  He’d had a brief taste of heaven the night he’d kissed her, a kiss he’d been unable to erase from his emory, a kiss so sensual, so erotic, so wild, just the thought of it made his body grow taut with need.

  Of late, he hadn’t been sleeping well, plagued by dreams of Faith, of kissing her, of making passionate love to her. Dreams so vivid he’d awakened each morning in a tangle of sheets, his arms empty, his heart aching.

  “Is this a private party or can anyone join in?” Jared asked, keeping his tone light and trying to ignore the desire clawing at his insides.

  At the sound of Jared’s deep, resonant voice, Faith stopped dancing and her heart slammed against her rib cage in startled reaction. It was all she could do to keep her smile pinned firmly in place.

  She turned to greet him. “Hi. We didn’t hear you come in,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the color seeping into her cheeks. “I was showing Nicky how to waltz,” she explained a little breathlessly.

  Jared smiled. “Don’t you think he’s a bit young for dancing lessons? Shouldn’t he learn to walk first?”