Hearts Under Caution

by Gina Wilkins

  “He will be,” her mother predicted confidently.

  “In the meantime, I wish you could talk him out of trying to marry me off to a racing insider just so he’ll have someone to run the team when he retires.”

  Ellen laughed at that. “I can’t talk your father into anything, Lisa. You should know that by now. But finding his replacement isn’t the only reason he wants to marry you off to Wade. He’s very fond of the boy. And he thinks it would bring you home for good. As far as he’s concerned, it’s a win-win-win situation.”

  Lisa wondered how Wade would feel about being referred to as “the boy.” The rest wouldn’t surprise him.

  Her mother grew serious then. “I’ve never felt neglected by your father, you know. I’ve been very happy being his wife and your mother. I know the life I’ve chosen isn’t the one for you, but I want you to always remember that I’ve been satisfied. Whatever you decide to do, I want you to be as happy as I’ve been. Whether it’s with Wade or with someone else or on your own, you choose to enjoy the journey, you hear?”

  Lisa didn’t like the undercurrent she heard in her mother’s advice, as if she was leaving these words of wisdom now in case she wasn’t around to say them later. But maybe she was just being overanxious. Her mom had always been available to offer advice when solicited. And her most frequent advice concerning happiness was that, except in cases of severe clinical depression, one could choose to be a happy person or an unhappy person.

  She had often cited examples of people who remained positive and optimistic even in the face of great obstacles. It was all a matter of attitude, she had said. You could see yourself as a victim or a survivor, a winner or a loser, a positive contributor to society or a negative force in the universe. All very Zen and idealistic, but typical of Ellen. And it had been that advice that had guided Lisa when she’d decided to break her engagement to Wade and pursue a career that would make her feel useful and fulfilled.

  She stood and closed her suitcase. “I’m trying to enjoy the journey, Mom. Trying to explore every path available to me. Just like you’ve always taught me.”

  Ellen’s eyes had turned misty. “You’ll choose the right path, sweetheart. I’ve never doubted it.”

  Leaning over to kiss her mother’s cheek, Lisa murmured, “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, darling. There’s the doorbell. That must be Wade.”

  A little ripple of anxiety coursed through her, and Lisa wasn’t sure if it had more to do with the upcoming trip with Wade or the fear that there would come a time when her mother wouldn’t be available for these precious heart-to-heart talks. Still feeling a little guilty that she hadn’t shared the full story with Ellen, Lisa grabbed the handle of her suitcase and tried to keep a positive attitude as she moved toward her bedroom doorway.

  CHAPTER TEN

  WADE HAD TOLD HER that Indianapolis was a different experience than Pennsylvania, but Lisa hadn’t realized exactly how different it would be. She’d half expected that one track was pretty much like another. And while that was true as far as physical details—both had grandstands, garages, concessions and souvenir stands—the atmosphere wasn’t at all alike.

  While the other track’s setting had been almost pastoral, there was an edgy, urban feel to the Indianapolis track, the largest sporting venue in America. The two-and-a-half mile oval seemed to stretch forever, and so many more people were packed around it that Lisa’s head spun just thinking about the numbers.

  This was why people enjoyed traveling the NASCAR circuit in their RVs and campers, she realized, studying the crowds. It wasn’t just watching the cars go around and around. It was the whole, unique experience of each race. Sure, some of the drivers and crews were getting a little weary more than twenty weeks into the grueling season—but once the green flag fell, they would be just as fired up as they had been for the season kickoff at Daytona back in February.

  Maybe she could understand, a little, how a person could become obsessed.

  She had been welcomed back among the crews with a warmth that had pleased her, making her feel as though she’d become one of them. Sure, she was the owner’s daughter and that earned her a few perks. And she was with Wade, assumed to be dating him, so that, too, was the basis for some minor kissing-up. But she liked to think that maybe she’d made a few friends on her own, last week.

  As if in affirmation of that wish, Katie had greeted Lisa with a crushing hug, a beaming smile and a burst of chatter, as if they had been separated for weeks rather than a few days. Almost in her first breath, she announced that she and Ronnie were having a girl, which of course initiated another hug. And then she went on to talk about everything else that had happened since they’d last seen each other—a surprising amount, considering how little time that had actually been.

  They dined together Thursday evening, as they had the week before. Lisa, Wade, Jake, Katie, Ronnie and Digger. Pizza, this time, rather than grilled meats, but the same amount of lively conversation. The men discussed qualifying, the women talked about the baby, though Ronnie kept drifting into the latter conversation. He was so obviously thrilled with the gender of the baby they expected, since he’d made no secret of his desire for a daughter. A boy next time, he said, grinning, but first that little girl.

  “Yeah, let’s see how you feel about having a daughter when she brings home some yahoo with a ring pierced through his nose and a snake tattooed around his neck,” Digger grumbled, apparently from personal experience.

  Ronnie scowled. “I don’t think so.”

  “Yeah? How you going to stop her?”

  “By locking her in her room, if necessary. I’ll let her know which guys she can date—and none of them are going to be race car drivers,” he added with a glowering look at Jake.

  As the others laughed, Jake held up his hands. “Don’t look at me. Thirty years is a little too much of an age difference for my taste.”

  “Why do I have the feeling my husband and daughter have some heated discussions ahead?” Katie asked Lisa ironically.

  “It’s a given,” Lisa replied, remembering some of the battles between herself and her own ironfisted father during her teen years.

  “Do you have a name picked out yet?” Wade asked, looking as though he couldn’t think of anything else to contribute to a discussion about children.

  “Olivia,” Katie and Ronnie answered in almost perfect unison.

  “It was my mother’s name,” Ronnie said. And for Lisa’s benefit, added, “She passed away last year.”

  “She was a very special lady,” Katie chimed in. “I was glad to have the chance to know her. And we’ve chosen Jeanette for a middle name, after my mother. She’s so looking forward to her first grandchild.”

  Lisa smiled at both of the proud parents-to-be. “That’s a very pretty name.”

  It wasn’t going to be easy growing up as the child of a driver, she mused as she reached for a second slice of pizza. And she knew this just from the experience of being the daughter of an owner. Olivia’s father wouldn’t be home for weekend excursions or soccer games or ballet recitals or birthday parties. The family’s activities would have to take place on the road, their motor coach as much a home to them as their place in North Carolina. But maybe Ronnie would do a better job of making Olivia feel included than her own dad had with her.

  The conversation had moved on, turning back to the upcoming weekend activities. Digger, Ronnie and Jake got into another discussion about qualifying strategies. Katie paid attention to what they were saying as she finished her pizza.

  Wade, Lisa noticed, seemed unusually distracted for the remainder of the meal. She wasn’t sure whether he was thinking about the race or something else, but he seemed very far away, even though he sat right next to her.

  “I DON’T LIKE YOU staying here by yourself,” Wade fretted as he drove into the parking lot of the hotel where Lisa would be staying in the suite her father had reserved months earlier for himself. “I’d feel a lot better if y
ou’d just stay in the motor home like you did before.”

  She sighed. “I told you I wouldn’t take your bed this time. I meant it. This is a nice hotel in a good neighborhood. There’s plenty of security. I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded grumpily. “I’ll send a driver for you in the morning. Don’t leave the hotel without him.”

  She heard the chill in her own voice when she replied a bit curtly, “I’m not a member of your team to be given orders by you, Wade. While I appreciate your concern, I prefer to make my own decisions.”

  He had the grace to look sheepish as he parked the car. “I was barking orders, wasn’t I?”

  “Yes, you were.”

  “Sorry. Habit, I guess. At the track, I tend to be in take-charge mode.”

  “With the crew, that’s fine. With me, not so much.”

  He chuckled wryly. “Yeah, I got that. But I still don’t like leaving you here.”

  “I got that, too. I’ll be fine, Wade.”

  “So you keep saying. May I at least walk you up to your room?”

  She moistened her lips, wondering if that was such a good idea. She couldn’t help remembering the kiss outside her parents’ home last week. Thinking back to how tempting it had been to drag him off to a private place and let nature take its course. But she had come to her senses since then, she reminded herself sternly. As long as she and Wade kept their distance, there was no reason he couldn’t walk her to her door like an old friend.

  “If it makes you feel better,” she said magnanimously.

  His lips twitched in response to her tone, but he reached for his door handle without responding.

  “Hold on,” she said when a sudden beeping sound filled the quiet car. “Let me see if this is important before we go in.”

  She pulled her cell phone from the pocket on the outside of her small bag and opened it to read the text message that had just come through. Half expecting the sender to be Davida—her mother never having quite gotten the knack of text messaging—she nearly dropped the phone when she read the ominous words displayed on the backlit screen.

  Maybe she made a choked sound. Or maybe Wade picked up on the tension that suddenly gripped her. “What is it? What’s wrong? Is it your mother?” he asked urgently, reaching out to grip her arm.

  Wordlessly, she handed him the phone.

  He read the message, then cursed fluently beneath his breath. “That settles it,” he said, his voice rough and uncharacteristically harsh. “I’m not leaving you here. You’re staying in the motor home tonight.”

  “But I—”

  His hand shot up, palm toward her as he stopped her in mid-protest. “Don’t argue with me this time, Lisa. I know you aren’t a member of my crew and I know you don’t like it when I tell you what to do, but I don’t care. Either you go back to the track with me, or I stay here with you. I’m not leaving you alone after this.”

  She looked numbly down at the phone screen. Think you’re safe just because you ran? I will find you.

  Reading the words again sent another cold chill down her spine. She didn’t know how Norris had gotten her number. Whether he really knew where she was or was making a vague threat to frighten her out into the open.

  He had definitely succeeded in frightening her. There was no way she wanted to stay in that hotel suite by herself tonight. “I’ll go back with you,” she muttered numbly.

  Though Wade looked a bit surprised by her capitulation, he didn’t press his luck. He started the car. “I’ll have someone collect your bags and take them to the track.”

  She had no doubt that he would make that happen very efficiently. Wade was in full take-charge mode again—and for once, she was in no mood to argue with him.

  LATE THAT NIGHT, Lisa lay in the bed in Wade’s motor home and listened to the muted sounds coming from outside. Different track, different state than last weekend, but she suspected that eventually the campground sounds all seemed familiar no matter where the RV was parked.

  She rolled over onto her other side and closed her eyes, but sleep continued to elude her. She supposed she shouldn’t be particularly surprised that she was lying in his bed again. Did anyone ever win in a battle of wills with that stubborn, bossy man? Certainly none of the fifty or so people who answered to him on the team.

  At least she had talked Wade out of sleeping on the couch, which seemed like a particularly bad idea tonight, when she was feeling a bit too vulnerable to have him so close by. She had finally convinced him that she would be safe in the motor home with its high tech security system and nearby neighbors.

  There was nowhere safer for her to be than in the restricted RV lot, surrounded by drivers and their families who were all well guarded from overeager fans and potential threats, she had added. Wade had reluctantly agreed and had gone off to bunk in Jake’s bus again, but only after giving her a ten-minute lecture about not leaving the motor home without an escort or walking around the track this weekend without making sure someone was with her.

  So here she was again. In Wade’s bed. Alone. And unhappily aware that she wished he were here with her.

  JAKE DID NOT QUALIFY as well as everyone had hoped, ending up in the eighteenth starting position. Considering the way he complained about the car’s handling, he insisted that he was lucky to have finished that high. Ronnie took the pole, to his wife and crew’s delight.

  As happy as she was for Ronnie, Lisa could see the tension that gripped Jake’s crew. Jake had declared the car “junk” and was pessimistic about their chances of getting it fine-tuned in time for the race, especially since there were certain changes they were forbidden to make between qualifying and starting the race, itself. The only way he could switch to the backup car was if he crashed the qualifying car in practice, which he certainly wasn’t allowed to do intentionally, and even then, he would have to start from the very back of the field.

  Although Wade kept reassuring Jake that the crew would soon have the car performing well—reminding him that they’d certainly done so last week—Lisa could tell that it was different this time. Last week the changes had been relatively minor—wedge and air pressure adjustments, a little pit stop tweaking. This time it was going to take more work.

  Wade stayed busy all day Friday and when she saw him, he was terse and distracted. Not rude, but definitely concentrating on his job. Because she respected that and because she knew it was difficult for him to do so when he was undoubtedly worried about her, she stayed out of his way. She watched from the periphery for a while, then worked quietly for a few hours in the motor home, calling no attention to herself. He looked in on her occasionally to make sure she was safe and had everything she needed, but the attention felt rather perfunctory, as if she were just another item on his checklist of responsibilities.

  Because Wade and the crew were going to be busy until late Friday night, she told him not to worry about her for dinner. She had plenty of food in the RV, she assured him, and there was a program on television she wanted to see that evening, anyway. While that wasn’t exactly true, she figured she could find something to hold her attention for a few hours.

  Reassured that she would be spending the evening safely ensconced in his motor home, Wade seemed to put her out of his mind even before they parted. Propped against the pillows of his bed with a soft drink and a bowl of microwave popcorn a couple of hours later, she flipped channels idly on the plasma screen until she found an action movie that she liked.

  She’d seen this film a couple of times, but it could always be counted on to make her chuckle. And besides, the lead actor was hot. She needed whatever distraction she could find to keep her from thinking about that creepy text message, even though she had convinced herself that Norris—or whoever had sent it—didn’t really have a clue where she was. However he had found her number, she was in no danger from him now.

  At least, that was what she chose to believe.

  Because she didn’t need to pay attention to what little plot there was to the
movie she’d selected, she opened a book to read while the sound of the television kept her company. She was just starting to nod off when Wade buzzed the intercom from outside and brought her quickly to her feet. She was decently dressed in drawstring waist, navy plaid cotton pants and a loose navy T-shirt, so she didn’t bother with a robe or shoes when she opened the door to him.

  “I know it’s getting late,” he said. “I saw the lights were still on, so I thought you were still awake.”

  “I was just watching TV,” she assured him, moving out of the doorway and motioning him inside. “Do you need some of your things?”

  Though he closed the door behind him, he remained just inside the motor home, looking poised to leave at any moment. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay before I turn in for the night. Is there anything you need? Did you have dinner?”

  He looked so tired, she thought, studying the lines around his eyes and mouth. Almost dispirited. Were things really looking this grim for the upcoming race? And did it really matter too horribly if they were? Jake was sitting pretty solidly in the top ten. One less-than-stellar finish wouldn’t knock him out of The Chase, would it?

  She knew even as the thought occurred to her that Wade wouldn’t be satisfied with that line of reasoning. He approached every race with the same intense determination to win. There were no “good-enoughs” in his vocabulary. Just win or lose. And anything other than first place was a loss at the back of his mind.

  But was that the only thing bothering him this weekend? Or did genuine concern for her have something to do with the grim look in his eyes?

  “I had a can of soup and some popcorn for dinner,” she told him, still searching his expression closely. “A nice, lazy evening. How did your meetings go?”

  He shrugged. “We’ll see how things work out in practice tomorrow.”

  “I was glad Ronnie did so well in practice. Katie said he really wants a win since he hasn’t had one in quite a while.”