Outback Dreams

by Rachael Johns

  ‘The poor lass is probably still resting.’ Nora smiled and continued cooking. ‘We gave her quite a night last night.’

  Monty breathed a sigh of relief then silently berated his stupidity. They’d have to face each other sooner or later. He shuffled from side to side, glancing backwards out the kitchen window. He could just make out the outline of the tent through the garden shrubbery. ‘I guess I’d better wake her.’

  ‘No, let her sleep. We’ll save her some food, won’t we, Nora?’

  As Tim crossed to the sink to scrub up, Monty decided to heed their advice. He washed his hands and asked, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

  Nora waved him away. ‘No, sit and have a coffee.’

  No need to ask him twice.

  Like every meal so far at Clancy’s Breakaway, breakfast was an elaborate and delicious affair. Monty ate his fill and probably Faith’s as well, but Nora promised she had plenty. She piled a spare plate high with bacon, eggs, sausages, tomatoes, beans and fried potatoes and placed it in the oven to keep warm.

  When they’d finished a second cup of coffee and Faith still hadn’t appeared, Tim made a suggestion. ‘Why don’t we check on the new calves? If there’s time before you have to hit the road?’

  Monty jumped at the opportunity to spend more time learning about the property.

  ‘If Faith shows up, tell her we’ll be back soon,’ Tim instructed Nora.

  ‘Aye aye, captain.’ She saluted him with a smile and then took a sip of her tea.

  ‘Calving season is only just starting,’ Tim explained as they headed out to the northern paddocks. ‘The first few have been born, but things will get busy soon. Their labours are generally pretty straightforward, but sometimes I’ll have to come out and lend a hand and, on rare occasions, we’ll call in the vet.’

  Monty nodded, making mental notes. He ignored the tremor of nerves scuttling up his spine; he’d helped a number of ewes give birth in his time, but never a cow. ‘The local vet is good?’

  ‘The best,’ Tim confirmed. ‘Ava recently took over her father’s practice. She’s only young, but she’s damn good at what she does. Hardworking too. You’d be hard pushed to find a better vet.’

  ‘She sounds great. I’ll get the gate.’ Monty’s hand was already on the door handle as they slowed in front of the paddock.

  ‘Don’t worry about closing it again. These girls aren’t escape artists and we won’t be here long.’

  When Monty returned to the ute, Tim drove almost into the middle of the paddock and stopped not far away from most of the herd. Monty counted five calves.

  ‘That one was born overnight.’ Tim pointed to a calf and its mother, a big grin on his face.

  To Monty all the calves looked pretty much the same and he admired the fact Tim could tell the new one from the rest. They watched for a while, Tim explaining about the breeding program on Clancy’s Breakaway and how the majority of the calves would be sold once they were weaned.

  Tim was a special breed of farmer. He not only loved the land, he loved each animal in his care and although their fate was inevitable, he wanted to make the time they were on his property humane.

  ‘Are you sure you’re ready to leave this place?’ Monty asked, a lump forming in his throat. He couldn’t tell if he was feeling sorry for the other man or anxious at the thought of this dream falling through as well.

  There was a long uncomfortable pause.

  Tim finally sighed. ‘I don’t have any choice. I’m not getting any younger and, unfortunately, as innovative as modern medicine is, they haven’t invented the pills I need so I can look after this place forever. My daughters married city boys, and I failed dismally in passing on the love of the land to any of them anyway. Nora wants to be nearer her grandchildren, and I want to be with Nora. The land may be my life, but Nora is the soul of this place. If she weren’t here, it wouldn’t be home.’

  Monty nodded at Tim’s heartfelt words. ‘If things work out and I am able to buy your farm, you and Nora will always be welcome here.’

  ‘You’re a good man,’ Tim said, turning the ute’s ignition again. ‘I know you and Faith will do your best here. Hard as it will be to say goodbye, that knowledge makes it bearable.’

  ‘Yes. We will.’ Monty hoped there wasn’t a crack in his voice. Lying didn’t sit right, but he was terrified that Tim might change his mind if he knew the truth.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Faith woke in the same state as she had woken almost every day for the last few weeks—hot, sweaty and bamboozled. She shot into a sitting position and, as she glanced round the messy tent, memories of the night before slammed into her consciousness.

  Her head fell into her hands, but it wasn’t drinking too much the night before that made her head ache. It was the knowledge that last night wasn’t just another raunchy dream. This one was real.

  After a few deep breaths, Faith reached for her phone on the floor of the tent, her eyes widening at the time. She hadn’t slept past ten o’clock in years. Hell, she’d barely slept past six since her mum had fallen ill and she’d taken over the milking duties.

  Although hiding in the tent seemed far more appealing than facing Monty, she couldn’t put it off forever. Besides, she needed coffee—now. She scrambled around and located her jeans, found a fresh t-shirt in her backpack and then, because the air down here held more bite than in Bunyip Bay, she looked for her jumper.

  All she found was the rugby jumper Monty had worn yesterday.

  Unable to help herself, she scooped it up and brought it to her nose. She breathed in deeply, his unique scent wafting up her nostrils and swirling around her head.

  Oh Lord! There was nothing on this earth that had that effect.

  She lowered the jumper and hugged it to her chest, unable to discard it.

  What have we done?

  Somehow, for years, she’d ignored what was right in front of her, not once contemplating Monty as a possible partner. She’d dated other people, lamenting the fact she couldn’t seem to get very inspired about any of them. And now the reason had more than made itself known.

  She was totally, madly in love with Daniel Montgomery.

  The joyous fluttering in her stomach lasted only moments before she remembered his escape. He’d almost tripped over himself in his rush to leave the tent. To leave her. And his words: ‘I’m so sorry.’ The memory of them felt like barbed wire tightening around her heart.

  But it would have been a shock for him tool

  Voices played off each other inside her head. One of them suggested Monty might feel the same—that he wasn’t the type of guy to fall between the sheets willy-nilly—but the other quickly retorted that he’d been drunk. People did stupid things when they were drunk. Her included.

  Faith tried to remember how she’d justified it to herself last night, reasons why she might be feeling these new emotions towards Monty—the stuff about Ruby, the alumnae and him moving away—but in the light of day none of them negated what she felt.

  Those things might have started her thinking about him as more than a friend, but they’d simply been unveiling an ancient truth. Her heart—too full of Monty—had never had room for anyone else. Perhaps she’d always known this but had been scared of what she’d lose if he didn’t feel the same. Damnit, she was still scared.

  Outside, a kookaburra laughed.

  Faith wiped at a few tears that escaped her eyes, not wanting Monty to stumble into the tent and find her in such a mess. The last thing she wanted was to sway his feelings because he felt sorry for her. Discarding his jumper on his swag, she ran her hands through her hair and wished for once she was the type of girl who carried things like a small mirror in her bag. Not to mention concealer and lip-gloss. If the pounding in her skull was anything to go by, she probably had puffy-eyes and blotchy red cheeks, but she carried nothing with which to do a fix-up job.

  After pulling on her Blundies, she grabbed her toothbrush and hairbrush and peeked through the
tent’s flap. The area around their camp was deserted. Taking a step out, she stretched her arms above her head, then walked over to Monty’s ute and grabbed a bottle of water from the esky. She splashed her face, brushed her teeth, redid her ponytail then set off for the house. It wasn’t much, but at least she wouldn’t have crusty eyes and smelly breath.

  ‘Hello?’ she called through the fly wire as she reached the kitchen door.

  Nora appeared from a doorway at the other side of the kitchen. Flushed and wearing an apron splattered with flour, she looked as if she’d been hard at work already. ‘Come on in, sweetheart. How’d you sleep?’

  ‘Yeah, good.’ Which was a miracle. It was waking up she hadn’t wanted to do. ‘Where’s Monty?’

  Nora grinned. ‘He’s such a darling, that boyfriend of yours. He said you needed to rest and we should let you sleep. Not that you need any beauty sleep.’

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ Faith wasn’t used to compliments about her looks.

  ‘He and Tim are off on another drive,’ Nora explained.

  ‘Oh good.’ Relief filled Faith that she didn’t have to face him just yet. ‘Do you mind if I use your bathroom?’

  ‘Sure, go ahead.’

  Faith slipped off to the bathroom, relieved herself and then splashed more water on her face. She’d need a shower before she had any hope of looking presentable.

  When she returned to the kitchen, Nora gestured to the table. ‘You sit down and I’ll get you a cup of coffee. Or would you prefer tea? I kept a plate of breakfast for you too.’

  ‘Ah…’ Faith didn’t want to be rude but she didn’t think she could eat anything without her stomach revolting. ‘I think I’ll stick with just coffee if that’s okay. I drank a bit more than I usually do last night.’

  ‘Didn’t we all.’ Nora fussed at the bench and then returned with a steaming mug of tea. She sat alongside Faith. ‘But it was a great night. Tim will feel so much better about leaving now he’s met the two of you and knows the farm will be in such good hands.’

  Faith forced a smile and then took a long sip of her drink. The liquid almost burnt her tongue. She couldn’t find the right words to reply.

  ‘And I must admit I’m looking forward to being near the grandkids,’ Nora continued, seemingly oblivious to Faith’s discomfort. She leaned across the table and picked up a thick photo album. ‘Want to see some pics?’

  ‘Sure.’ Faith moved her chair closer, happy for the change of conversation. They spent a few minutes flicking through an album filled with pictures of angelic little children with dusty blonde, ringleted hair.

  ‘Oh, that’s a shot for the twenty-first if every I’ve seen one.’ Faith smiled as she pointed to a photo of a child dressed only in a jumper, his cute little bum sticking up for all the world to see as he bent over a red paddling pool.

  ‘That’s Max,’ Nora said, laughing. ‘He’s ten now and has already threatened to burn that photo. Luckily our daughter has them all stored away on some fancy computer thing.’

  Looking at the photos made Faith think again about having children. Where once she’d have quickly dismissed the idea, now it didn’t seem such a horrific idea. Maybe it was her body clock starting to tick, but she suddenly knew, more than anything, she wanted the chance to bring new life into the world.

  ‘I can see the family resemblance in your grandkids,’ she said. ‘They’re gorgeous.’

  ‘Well, the gorgeousness is all from my side.’

  Faith laughed and Nora snapped the book shut with a happy sigh. ‘Now, would you like to use our shower to freshen up before the men return?’

  ‘That would be fantastic.’ She picked up their empty mugs and took them to the sink to rinse before heading back to the tent. There, she cleared it of their swags and other belongings then dismantled it. When Monty finally returned, the ute would be packed, ready for the long, no doubt uneasy drive home.

  Satisfied, she took her bag up to the house, where she slipped into the guest bathroom to scrub her body of all traces of Monty. As she lathered gel all over, she realised it would be much, much harder to erase him from her heart.

  Monty returned to find their things packed and Faith just stepping out of the guest bathroom. With wet hair and flushed cheeks, she looked radiant, and his mind took a detour south. How did she manage to look so fresh when he felt as if he’d been on a month-long drinking binge? And more to the point, how had he never noticed such natural beauty before?

  ‘Hey.’ She smiled tentatively and he nodded back.

  ‘Morning.’

  ‘Actually, it’s nearer afternoon,’ Tim announced, thankfully oblivious to the tension. ‘Must be almost time for lunch.’

  Monty patted his stomach. ‘I’m still full from breakfast and, unfortunately, I think Faith and I better be heading off.’

  ‘Yes.’ Faith nodded but didn’t meet his gaze. ‘We’ve got a long drive ahead.’

  A long, awkward drive no doubt—whether they talked about what’d they done or not.

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Tim didn’t sound happy to say goodbye so soon.

  As the four of them started outside, Nora halted. ‘You go ahead, I’ll be with you in a moment.’

  Tim led Faith down the garden path, talking about the flowers that blossomed in the garden in spring, and Monty found himself following, unable to tear his gaze from Faith’s butt. With each stride she took, her jeans tightened, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d cupped those buttocks in his hands only hours ago. Oh boy. He swallowed, blinked and tried to banish the memory from his mind. At this rate, he wouldn’t be able to sit comfortably in his jeans.

  When they got to the ute, Faith tucked her handbag in the passenger seat and they turned towards the house to see Nora rushing towards them. ‘For lunch,’ she explained, thrusting a brown paper bag at each of them.

  Monty closed his hand around the bag, which felt warm and smelled suspiciously like homemade pie. ‘Thanks so much. You really didn’t have to.’ He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Strange how he’d met this couple only yesterday yet felt like he’d known them much longer. A lot had changed in twenty-four hours.

  ‘Yes. Thank you.’ Faith hugged their hosts, and then Monty shook Tim’s hand.

  ‘It was great to meet you. Thanks for having us to stay. And for…’ How could he properly thank these people, total strangers, for the opportunity they were giving him? It was too big for words. Instead, he reached out and hugged Tim.

  ‘I feel a lot better about leaving this old place now I’ve met you.’ Tim slapped Monty on the back, something he was beginning to get quite used to. ‘I’m going inside to ring Mack right away.’

  As they drove up the long gravel driveway, Monty watched Tim and Nora waving them off through the rear-view mirror and a sense of rightness filled him. He couldn’t believe the next time he returned this would all be his. Under normal circumstances, he’d share these thoughts with Faith, but today he kept his mouth shut. They needed to talk—would have to sooner or later—but he didn’t know where to start.

  He guessed Faith felt the same predicament because silence rang between them for a good half an hour. They’d made good progress up the Albany Highway when she finally broke it.

  ‘Well, that was a successful trip.’

  Clearly she meant the farm. ‘Yes. Clancy’s Breakaway is a dream come true. Thanks again for coming with me.’ His voice sounded stilted and formal but he couldn’t help it.

  Faith sighed. ‘Oh, Monty, what are we going to do? Are we just going to pretend it didn’t happen?’

  If only they could just ignore it. Or even better, turn back time so they’d never been so stupid.

  ‘Of course not,’ he said, ‘but I don’t want to let one mistake ruin years of friendship, do you?’

  He heard a sharp intake of breath. ‘No.’

  ‘I think we should be adults about it. We were drunk, neither of us has…’ He coughed. ‘…been with anyone in a while, and we got lost in the moment
. It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.’

  ‘Naked toddlers in a paddling pool is hardly the same thing,’ she said wryly. ‘Nor is skinny-dipping.’

  ‘No.’ Skinny-dipping had never turned him on the way she had last night. He’d feasted on her, explored every intimate inch of her skin, and the feelings it had invoked had been… Stop,! ‘But it’s best if we don’t do it again. I don’t want things getting awkward between us.’

  ‘Okay then. Let’s agree to forget it ever happened.’

  ‘Yes. Forget.’ It was a good idea, so why did it feel so wrong? And why did Faith sound so unsure? ‘Oh, shit.’ His heart slammed into his chest cavity, causing him to actually jolt.

  ‘What?’

  ‘We didn’t use any contraception!’

  She sucked in a breath, then slowly let it out again. ‘It’s okay. I’m on the pill.’

  He looked questioningly at her.

  ‘Bad skin.’ She shrugged and gestured to a face that hadn’t seen an acne problem in years. ‘And maybe I’m a little hopeful?’

  He let out a breath of relief as Faith turned to look out the window. Her mention of hope reminded him of the date she’d had with Curtis, which he hadn’t asked her about yet.

  ‘How are things going with Curtis?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She kept her gaze on the passing paddocks.

  ‘That good then?’ He found himself secretly pleased.

  ‘What the fuck, Monty? We’ve just had sex and you’re asking about my relationship with a mate of yours? How do you think it’s going?’

  What could he say to that? Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he focused on the road ahead. The silence was like a lasso tightening around Monty’s neck. Unable to bear it, he put some music on, but even when some of his favourite tunes filled the cabin, he couldn’t relax.

  His thoughts drifted to Ruby. He couldn’t believe that after actively pursuing her for so long, he’d fucked up in this monumental manner. Although the relationship word hadn’t been mentioned, there was no question that he’d betrayed her. He’d need to work out what the hell to do about that, but he couldn’t think straight now—not with Faith only centimetres away, the scent of whatever she’d washed her hair with that morning drifting over and teasing him.