Back to Scare School

by Zack Zombie

  I just need to find a way to pass this Scare exam. I just need to.

  My gaming career depends on it.

  Saturday

  I went to see Steve to ask if maybe he could help me pass the Scare Exam.

  “Scaring villagers is easy,” I told him. “But miners are real tough.”

  “You don’t have to tell me. Miners are the roughest, toughest villagers around. Those guys don’t take anything from anybody. Not even Zombies.”

  “So what am I going to do? If I don’t pass this test, the most I can get is a D in the class. And if I do that, my Mom and Dad will never get me the ScareStation 465.”

  “Yeah, that’s a tough one, Zombie. What are you going to do?”

  “Well, some of the kids at school were thinking of using a mod to make themselves scarier, and they asked me to join them.”

  “Wait a minute… Isn’t that cheating?”

  “Well… Yeah, but technically it’ll still be us, just a different version.”

  “Zombie. I’m your friend. So I’m not going to tell you what to do. But… Don’t do it!”

  “But how am I supposed to pass this scare exam? You said it yourself. Miners are tough. And look at my face. Those miners will take one look at me and laugh, and then they’ll knock my head off.”

  “Yeah, well maybe a ScareStation 465 is not worth the price you’re going to pay if you do cheat on your exam. Not to mention that if you get caught, you’ll get expelled. Then what are your gonna do?”

  “I can’t think about that right now. I just need to pass this test.”

  “Zombie, don’t do it, man. You’re better than that,” Steve said.

  “Well, I gotta go see Sally. So I’ll see you later.”

  Man, I knew Steve was right. But I just have to pass this test…I just have to.

  Later, I went to see Sally at her house.

  She lives in a 27 bedroom house on an island on the other side of the lake. Actually, Sally’s family owns the whole island.

  When I got there, the Zombie butler opened the door. I don’t think he likes me much. He keeps calling me Zeke.

  “Sally, your little friend Zeke is here.”

  “Zombie!” Sally said when she saw me. And she gave me a big hug.

  “Hey Sally,” I said. “I missed you a lot. How was your trip?”

  “Oh, it was OK. I’ve done that trip like 7 years in a row now so it was the same old thing.”

  “Cool.”

  We spent the day talking about school and my first day.

  “Zombie, you’re so funny. The craziest things always happen to you.”

  “Yeah, I think somebody put a curse on me or something. I just wish they had cursed my face so that I would be a bit scarier.”

  “What? I like your baby Zombie, little boobly, woobly face,” she said as she pinched my cheek.

  “Ha ha. That’s not funny, Sally. I have a really tough Scare exam coming up, and I don’t think I’m going to pass. And if I fail, my parents aren’t going to get me my ScareStation 465.”

  “Oh, I played one of those. I even played the ScareStation 466. It’s not coming out till next year.”

  Great, at this rate, I’m going to miss the ScareStation 465 and the 466. I’ll probably only get to play a ScareStaion when I’m Old Man Jenkin’s age.

  “I don’t know, Sally. I need to do whatever it takes to pass that Scare exam.”

  “You don’t mean cheating, do you?”

  “Yeah… Some of the kids want to use mods to make ourselves look scarier for our Scare exam.”

  Sally looked at me like I was a lost puppy that needed a home. She always had a way of making me feel like she really understood.

  “You know, Zombie, if you cheat and you pass the Scare exam, and you get your ScareStation 465, it’s not really going to matter.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re gonna feel so bad every time you play it, that you’ll never be able to enjoy it…Plus the 466 is much better anyway.”

  Wow. That was really deep.

  Man, I’m really lucky to have a ghoulfriend like Sally. She really knows how to make me feel worse than ever about cheating on this Scare exam.

  But right now I don’t feel like I have any other choice…

  What to do?

  Sunday

  So those other guys at school called me today to ask me if I was going to join them and cheat on the Scare exam.

  Even though I know Steve and Sally are right, I just know I can’t pass this Scare exam on my own.

  So I told those guys I would join them.

  They said it would cost 10 bucks each so that we could pay Grumm to create the mod for us.

  I still had a little of my allowance money left because I was saving up for a new Zintendo 64 video game. But if this works, I guess I’m not going to need it anyway.

  So I told them I was going to bring the money to school tomorrow.

  Wow, this was going to be the first time I ever cheated on a school exam.

  I’ve thought about cheating before, and a lot of the other kids at school cheated. But I never have.

  Man, I’m feeling really weird right now.

  It’s kind of like a mixture of fear and excitement and diarrhea all at the same time.

  …I think I’m just going to go take a nap.

  Monday

  Today in Scare Class Mr. Matsumoto was doing a review for the Scare exam.

  “You all have to be able to scare one miner each. And only the following three things count as a scare:

  1. The miner turns a different color. White, blue, green or purple are the preferred colors, but red will qualify as well.

  2. The miner faints. If he is faking, it doesn’t count. And if you scare him while he is sleeping, that doesn’t count either.

  3. The miner runs away. And extra points will be awarded if he runs into a wall or trips over a rock on the way out.

  Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, Mr. Matsumoto.”

  One kid had a death wish and he asked Mr. Matsumoto a dumb question: “Mr. Matsumoto, what if instead of running away the miner turns around and attacks us?”

  Mr. Matsumoto just picked up a dropout form and handed it to the mob boy that asked the question.

  “Any more questions?”

  All of us were too terrified to ask him anything.

  After class, I went with the other mob kids that were going to cheat to the empty Modding Class room.

  Jesse, the mastermind behind our cheating caper, pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

  “Here it is, boys. The mod program we need to pass the Scare test. You guys got the cash?”

  So we all gave him 10 bucks.

  Then he got on the teacher’s computer and started typing away and building the mod program we needed.

  I was really scared a teacher would walk in on us. And I could tell the two other mob kids were really scared too.

  “Alright guys. Now each of you has to type your name into the mod.”

  The first boy typed in his name. Then the second boy typed in his name.

  When it was my turn, I knew that once I typed in my name there was no turning back. I must’ve waited for what seemed like an hour.

  “Hurry up, Zombie, the Modding Class teacher can walk in any minute.”

  Z–A–C–K _ Z–O–M–B–I–E

  Wow. I can’t believe I did it. I feel so…soiled.

  “Well, it’s finished,” Jesse said. “I uploaded it to my cell phone. So, when it’s our turn to take the Scare exam, I just have to activate it on my phone, and we’re home free.”

  Wow. That was it? I thought it would be a lot more exciting than that.

  “I
’ll see you guys in the mines,” Jesse said as he walked out of the classroom.

  After we all walked out, I heard the other two guys talking.

  “I’m really scared, Billy. If I get caught, my Dad is going to really let me have it.”

  “Don’t worry, Leo. Jesse’s got this. Plus if we get caught, we can always get another mod that will erase it from our permanent record.”

  What? If I get caught this goes on my permanent record?

  Up to that point, I didn’t really know what I should’ve been feeling. All I know is that whatever I was feeling, it felt terrible.

  So I just went home and went to bed.

  Tuesday

  Today my parents went to the First Week of School Parent-Teacher Conference.

  I really hate those things. My parents always find a way to make me do more homework after they come home from the PTC.

  When they got home, I knew I was going to get another lecture about the perils of something…

  “Hey Zombie. Did you eat dinner? How’s Wesley?”

  “Yeah I did, Mom. Wesley’s OK too.”

  “Zombie, you wouldn’t believe it, but we ran into your new Scare teacher, Mr. Matsumoto today.”

  “Yeah, son, did you know he was the Scare Champion for the past 10 years at the Moblympics?”

  “Yeah, I know that, Dad.”

  “Well, it was a good meeting tonight. Son, we want to talk to you about the perils of…”

  Here we go again.

  “…We want to talk to you about the perils of cheating.”

  Gulp.

  “Yes, it seems that there are a lot of kids cheating on their exams nowadays. I guess they feel like the pressures of school are too great, so they use cheating as a way to solve their problems.”

  Gulp.

  “So we wanted to let you know, Zombie, that if you ever feel like the pressure at school is too great, you can always come talk to us.”

  “Uh, Ok, Mom.”

  “And Zombie, if you ever feel like things are getting too hard in school, we are always here to help.”

  “Uh, OK, Dad.”

  You know, I really wanted to tell them. But I couldn’t. I just feel like they would be so disappointed in me.

  I really wish I could talk to somebody about it, though.

  I can’t talk to Steve about it because he’ll just tell me not to do it. And I can’t talk to Sally because I feel like she’ll be really disappointed in me too.

  So, it’s just me and my journal.

  Man, I feel so alone…

  Wednesday

  Well, today is the day of my Scare exam.

  My stomach was feeling really weird, even after I put it in.

  I decided to walk to school today instead of taking the bus. I was hoping I could talk myself out of cheating before I got to school.

  On my way there I ran into Old Man Jenkins.

  I guess he could tell something was bothering me.

  “Hey there, Zombie, what’s troublin’ ya?”

  “Oh, I don’t think you’d understand, Mr. Jenkins.”

  “Why don’t cha try me?”

  I didn’t really think he would understand, but I told him anyway.

  “You know, Zombie, I’m not going to tell you what to do, since you’re in eighth grade and all. But can I ask you sumthin’?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “What’s the worse that will happen if you flunk your Scare exam?”

  “The most I can get is a D in the class, and then I won’t get my Scarestation 465.”

  “And then what’s the worse that will happen?

  “I’ll be stuck playing my Dad’s old Zintendo 64.”

  “And what’s the worse that’ll happen if you get caught cheating?”

  “I’ll get expelled. My parent’s will ground me for life. I’ll lose my allowance. I’ll disappoint Steve and Sally.”

  “And then what’s the worse that’ll happen?”

  “I’ll feel really dumb. And I’ll be a total failure in my life.”

  All of a sudden cheating on my Scare exam didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

  “So Zombie, watcha going to do?”

  “What I should’ve done a few days ago,” I said determined.

  I thanked Old Man Jenkins and ran to school to take my Scare exam.

  Except this time when I looked back Old Man Jenkins wasn’t shaking his head; he gave me a thumbs up instead.

  As soon as I got to the school, I found Jesse and told him that I didn’t want to cheat. I told him that I was just going to try my best.

  “Sorry Zombie. I already programmed all of us into the system. Once I press the button, we’ll all get modded. And I’m not failing this exam,” he said as he slowly put his fist in my face.

  Gulp.

  After we took the written part of the exam, we took the bus to the mines. All the way there I was trying to think about what to do.

  I could tell Mr. Matsumoto, I thought. But then I’ll not only be a cheater, I’ll also be a big rat tattle tale, too. Not to mention that Jesse will knock my head off.

  Oh man, what was I going to do?

  We got to the mines and Mr. Matsumoto gave us the last instructions before the exam.

  “Alright class. Everyone take a digital camera. Use your cameras to take a picture of your miner after you scare them. This way you can prove you did it. Is that clear? Well then, class, get on your mark! Get Set! Go!”

  We all ran into the mines to find the miner we were going to scare. Since it was mining season, finding the miners was going to be really easy.

  When we got deep in the mines, I could see Jesse pull out his phone from a distance. When no one was around, he gave me and the other guys a nod and then he pushed the button.

  All of a sudden I started feeling weird and bubbly. Then my body started to grow and grow and grow. My arms got really thick and my legs became the size of tree trunks. My chest started to bulge out like I had swallowed a mattress.

  I tried to talk and I sounded like I swallowed a bag of razor blades.

  “RRAAAAAARRRRR!!!!” was all I could say.

  Oh man. If a miner sees me like this he’ll be scared out of his skin.

  Then I heard a noise that sounded like singing and somebody swinging a pickaxe.

  Maybe if I talk to the miner he would understand, I thought. I’m sure he was a kid in middle school once.

  So I slowly walked out from around the corner and went up to the miner.

  “RESCUZE ME, MR. MINERRR, SIR. RRAAAARRRR! I JUST RANTED TO RASK YOU IF YOU ROULD KRINDLY…”

  “HHHEEEEYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!”

  Not only did the miner turn white, but he turned blue, green, purple and red.

  Not only did he try to run away, but he ran into the wall, and he went through the wall. Then he fainted.

  Wow. This is what it must feel like to scare a real life miner.

  But I knew I didn’t deserve the credit. So I took out my camera and I did what I knew I had to do.

  Then I took the picture and headed back.

  Before we got back to Mr. Matsumoto, Jesse pressed the button on his phone and changed us all back.

  All the kids started handing in their cameras. Then Jesse, Billy and Leo handed in their cameras. They were all laughing and high fiving each other.

  I was the last one to hand in my camera. And Mr. Matsumoto stood there looking at me really impatiently.

  I finally handed him my camera but I didn’t say anything. I decided to let the picture do all the talking.

  Mr. Matsumoto took one look at the picture I took, and then he smiled. He looked at me and gave me a nod.

  “Nice going, Zombie-san,” he said.


  I just smiled back, and instead of taking the bus, I decided to walk home.

  Thursday

  So here I am. My first day of detention.

  You’re probably wondering how I got here.

  Well, I decided to tell the truth. But I had to do it without ratting on Jesse, Billy and Leo.

  So, I thought, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I decided to let the picture I took in the mines do all the talking.

  You see, instead of taking a picture of the scared miner, I decided to take a picture of myself.

  I even scare myself!

  I told Mr. Matsumoto that I created a mod to change my appearance in order to cheat on the test. But I decided not to go through with it because I had a change of heart.

  Mr. Matsumoto was so impressed with my honesty that he didn’t report me to the principal but gave me detention instead. Now I just stay after school practicing my scare technique with Mr. Matsumoto.

  I’m gonna need it too, because Mr. Matsumoto also gave me a chance to retake the Scare exam.

  So I still have a chance to get my ScareStation 465.

  Oh, and Jesse, Leo and Billy eventually got caught.

  I heard that on the school bus on the way back from the mines, Jesse started calling his friends and bragging about how he aced his Scare exam. But Leo accidentally bumped into him and Jesse dropped his phone. When Leo went to go pick it up, he accidentally pressed the mod button on Jesse’s phone.

  They transformed into giant monster Zombies right inside of the school bus.