by Barbara Lohr
Alex leaned closer. “I’m not.” He was sweaty. Amazing how that turned her on.
When it was Alex’s turn, his ball went wild and landed in a grove of trees in back of the hole. Although Vanessa ended up in a bunker, her position was close to the green. Kate and Jack were both back about sixty yards. Despite being in the sand, Vanessa had best ball. They would play it.
Alex maneuvered the cart toward the bunker and stopped. “Why don’t you take your sand wedge and your putter while I find my ball? I’ll meet you on the green.” He grinned. “Give it what you’ve got.”
After she’d grabbed her clubs, Alex took off. Oh, lordy, this bunker was steep. Shoes skidding down the slope, she finally stepped down onto the hard-packed sand pit. Felt like she had dropped into an inferno. Gauging the distance to the hole, she positioned herself behind the ball.
“Need some help?”
Shading her eyes, Vanessa glanced up. Sand wedge in hand, Jack stood above her. Kate must be hunting down her ball.
“Think I’m okay, Jack.”
Trepidation rippled through her when Jack clambered into the bunker, spraying hot sand with each step. Too late, she realized he’d been drinking, and not iced tea. “Now the secret of this shot is the kick at the end,” he cautioned her.
Standing behind her, Jack encircled her with his arms. One whiff of bourbon and heavy cologne, and she recoiled.
“What's the matter?” Jack breathed in her ear. “If you're handing out favors to your mentors, then I think I'm next in line.” His right hand closed over hers while his left arm snaked around her waist. No doubt about it. The man was clearly excited about what he was trying to pull off.
“Not gonna happen, Jack.” Whacking the ball up and out, she stepped back, jamming her right foot on his fancy tasseled golf shoe. Keeping the pressure on, she ground down.
“You bitch!” Rearing back, Jack let out a stream of curses.
Was this the same kindly mentor who’d helped her train for the advertorial? His pathetic story nearly wrung her heart dry that day. Well, the votes were in. She really was a terrible judge of men.
“Don’t be a fool. Alex Compton is a player,” Jack hissed, sinking his club into the sand. “Whatever he’s telling you, he’s just playing house.”
Her stomach turned over. “That’s not true.”
“What's up?” Kate appeared above them, hands on her hips.
Limping, Jack climbed the side of the bunker.
“Just getting my technique down.” Vanessa squinted up at Kate.
Alex’s sister looked puzzled. “I'd say your technique is just fine. Let me help you rake the bunker.”
By the time Jack had disappeared, Kate and Vanessa had already smoothed the sand with the long rake.
“Vanessa.” Kate laid one hand on Vanessa's forearm as they turned toward their carts. “Alex told me the news.”
“About…?” Vanessa croaked around a solid wedge of panic.
“Bo, of course.” Kate’s smile widened.
Gulping, Vanessa nodded. At least Alex had not laid out any plans about a marriage.
“Alex is waiting to tell our folks,” Kate continued. “Guess he’s still getting used to the idea, but they’ll be so thrilled. Just wanted to tell you that.”
Would they? She couldn’t imagine the stern professors Alex had described being pleased about their son getting a girl pregnant, especially one they didn’t even know. Kate gave her arm one more squeeze and walked back to her own cart.
Up ahead, Alex waved to her, approaching from the opposite direction with that easy stride that tugged something deep inside her.
From that hole on, Jack fumed. If Alex noticed, he didn't say anything. Play slowed, and they often ended up waiting in the shade of a tree. Vanessa's mind spun, but she didn’t resist when he kissed her. Just couldn’t.
Was she giving in too easily?
Or was she in love?
The realization slammed her with such force, she had to grab the edge of the cart. By that time, they were back on the cart path, zipping around a turn.
Alex put on the brake. “You okay? Guess I took that curve a little fast.”
“Not a problem,” she murmured, dazed. Pulling up at the next hole, he parked under a maple tree.
“Remember that trip I won at the gala?” He took a sip of iced tea. Up ahead of them, Jack and Kate were teeing off. Vanessa and Jack sat waiting.
“Right, when you scribbled your name on every bid sheet in sight?” The gala had been the beginning of so much craziness.
“That week is coming up. You and Bo will go with me, of course.”
“Of course?”
“Sure, if you want to. Bo’s a great age for that kind of trip, right?” His eyes glowed, and Vanessa's heart squeezed.
“Bo would probably love that.” She totally clutched, trying to get her mind around what Alex was saying. The trip screamed family. Would they share a room? Was she ready to go public about Alex being Bo’s father? Miserable, she wondered if she had a choice.
Kate and Jack had both teed off and continued on ahead, their cart winding down and around before clattering across the wooden bridge below. She wished her own future was as clear as this shot. For just that moment, it seemed as if they were the only two people on the golf course.
Nuzzling her neck, Alex murmured, “Maybe we should take a pass on the awards banquet. We’re not going to win anything anyway.”
“Sounds good.” If they went to his condo, she could talk to him. They could straighten all this out. “Get all the cards on the table,” as Jillian would say.
As he nibbled on her left ear, Alex whispered detailed descriptions of what he wanted to do to her later. In the blazing heat of the afternoon, she shivered, her resistance crumbling.
“You haven't said anything about our little talk at the Field Museum.” Alex sat back.
Pulling away, she reached for the phrases she’d practiced in the car. “I’ve thought a lot about it.”
“Good.” He traced a finger down her thigh.
“Options,” she gasped, grabbing the only word she could remember.
“What options?”
Fragments drifted back, like wreckage floating on the water. “I just think we should leave some options open.”
“O…kay.” He looked totally confused. “And what options are we leaving open?”
“Marriage,” she whispered. “I, ah, think we should leave that option open.”
Could Alex see her heart lying here, his for the taking?
Brows drawn together in a frown, he looked clueless. And he said nothing.
Her reckless hopes solidified into a hard lump in her chest.
They played the last three holes in strained silence. Every once in a while, Alex would throw her a brooding look.
After putting into the eighteenth hole, Alex high-fived Jack and Kate.
“Maybe we’ll win a prize.” Jack’s words were slurred.
“You are so wrong.” Kate eyed her golf partner with disgust.
“Long day?” Alex commented, as if he just realized Jack was wasted.
Rolling her eyes, Kate put her cart in gear.
“Jack's got his problems,” Alex mused as they headed back. “But he is a good businessman, believe it or not.”
“I thought he was more,” Vanessa murmured, still disturbed. Could a guy be so Jekyll and Hyde?
“Pardon me?” Alex leaned closer.
“Nothing. I…just…nothing.”
Back at the clubhouse, Alex handed in their scorecard. As he predicted, they wouldn’t be winning any awards.
“I have to get home,” she told him as the group poured into the banquet room.
His face fell.
She just couldn’t go to his condo. “Sorry, but I’m not feeling great.”
“Let me drive you.” He was already digging out his keys.
“No, really. Send me details about the trip, okay?”
“Sure. Fine.” Keys in hand, Alex flushed,
but he didn’t follow her. A wave of disappointment followed on the heels of relief.
Chapter 18
Alex fidgeted in the bakery workroom. The place smelled sweet, like cinnamon buns and fresh bread. But his appetite was seriously off. His stomach hadn’t been right since the golf outing ten days earlier. Everything had happened so fast. Randall’s Whipped Cream Cakes had hit their stride, and he should feel better about everything. It was probably time to start thinking about the expansion plans he’d mentioned to Vanessa.
Grandpa Joe and Christine were working out front while Jillian helped the college girls fill orders. If Vanessa didn’t hurry, they’d be late for their flight.
She’d been stonewalling him again, with the excuse that she was busy planning for the trip. Okay, he fell back. How would he know what it took to get a little boy ready for a one-week trip?
But he missed her, and he missed Bo.
He was so afraid to press her. Afraid she’d cut and run.
“All set to leave?” Jillian turned from the computer screen.
“As ready as I'm ever going to be.” Shoving his hands in his pants pockets, he forced a smile. Jillian looked like she was feeling a little better.
“You’re going on vacation. Why the glum face?”
How much did Jillian know? Alex checked his watch. “Will your sister be ready any time this year? We’ll miss our flight.”
“Bo spilled his juice, and there had to be a wardrobe change.”
He nodded. Man, he felt jittery. Maybe too much coffee. There was so much he wanted to show Bo, but he also wanted to settle things with Vanessa. She was like a tricky app he wanted to tweak, look at the coding one more time. But she kept eluding him.
“You're looking better, Jillian. So…everything's all right?”
“Too soon to tell, but I’m hopeful.” She gave a quick nod.
“I'm glad.”
Then Jillian’s blue eyes clouded, so much like her sister’s. “I don't know what I would've done without Vanessa. I really don't.”
“Your sister’s a take-charge person.” Understatement of the year.
Jillian sure looked like something was on the tip of her tongue.
“What is it? When you get that expression you look a lot like Vanessa. Out with it.” If she was worried about something, he wanted to help.
“Vanessa mentioned that you’d had a talk…”
Ah, now they were getting someplace.
“…about Bo. You’ll make a great dad.”
His chest swelled. “Thank you, Jillian. Vanessa’s done a terrific job. You and Grandpa have been a tremendous help, of course. Guess it’s my turn to step up to the plate.”
Jillian’s head tilted. “Bo could use a good father, Alex. With the exception of Grandpa Joe, Vanessa and I haven’t known much of a male role model.”
“What do you mean?”
But Vanessa’s sister did her turtle thing. Just pulled back, like she’d already said too much.
“Jillian, could you help me out here?” Dammit, he felt so desperate.
“Our dad was a real loser, Alex. Not around much and when he was, no good in telling us or our mother how he felt.”
He knew all about that part. And in that moment, he knew he had to change.
“We were almost relieved when our father took off. We didn’t live with Grandpa until Mom died, so we had no fall-back position. Just Dad. If Vanessa seems distant, it’s because she has, well, no playbook when it comes to men. With relationships, she needs to have it spelled out.”
Alex blinked. The implications filtered through his mind. He’d always been expected to know what his parents were thinking. “You know your father loves you. He shouldn’t have to tell you.” How many times had his mother told him that?
He was an idiot. No wonder Vanessa wouldn’t give him an answer. Standing there, he tried to remember what he hadn’t said.
A lot. “Damn.”
The door to the upstairs apartment flew open. “Sorry to be late.” Bo in her arms, Vanessa stood there in navy capri pants and a bright green blouse. A blue diaper bag hung from one shoulder. Bo’s eyes were red, and he swatted at her hand when she tried to wipe his nose with a tissue.
She was overloaded and adorable. He had to make this right. “Bags?”
“Top of stairs. Carseat too,” she told him, clearly flustered.
“Got it. We’re short on time.”
And he was way overdue. Alex nearly tripped going up the stairs.
~.~
The hum of the airplane engines vibrated in Vanessa's chest. Thank goodness she didn't have to sit next to Alex. Instead, Bo sat between them in the luxurious first class section. Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Train books were crammed into the seat pockets. To divert Bo’s attention at the beginning of the flight, Alex read to Bo until he fell asleep, head rocked back in the carseat Alex had lugged through the airport
Here they were, on their way to a dream vacation. Every muscle in her body felt strained. Showdown time. Alex wasn’t going to like her answer.
Although she didn’t share everything with her sister, Vanessa had mentioned Alex’s proposal to Jillian. She had to talk this over with someone.
“Do you love him?” Jillian had asked.
“Yes. But it’s not mutual.”
“How do you know that? Would Alex have asked you to marry him if he didn’t love you?”
“I know it seems crazy, but he hasn’t mentioned love.” Her sigh didn’t relieve the emptiness she felt inside.
“Some guys aren’t verbal.”
Her head felt like it might explode. “Marriage has to be verbal, Jillian. Just three words. That’s all I want.”
“Oh, Vanessa.” Jillian had hugged her. “You wait. Alex will come through for you.”
Would he? Alex adored Bo. That was obvious as she watched them in the first class cabin. Their horsing around together was a lot more entertaining than the movies available. After Bo fell asleep, Alex fussed with him. Tucked a blanket around him and put the sippy cup in the holder where it would be handy. The guy was a natural.
But when the novelty wore off? Was duty enough to keep a family together? Not in her book. And what about their sexual chemistry? Would that take a dive too and leave her waiting at the window for him every night?
Studying Alex's profile, she felt the familiar catch in her heart. The strong nose. The sculpted lips. The stubborn cowlick, just like Bo’s. Why was she kidding herself? She loved the guy, was crazy about him.
But she didn’t think she could live in a marriage where she was the only person in love. Stomach twisting, she checked the time on her phone. Almost there.
When the plane touched down, Bo woke up, hungry and cranky. The jeans and blue hoodie she’d thrown on him after the juice spilled were too warm for the cabin or for Florida weather. His face was flushed, and he dug at his eyes with tight fists.
“Hey, buddy, we’re here.” Alex swung his son into his arms, but Bo pushed back.
Then Alex smiled, and Bo pillowed his head at the base of Alex's neck. Vanessa's heart turned over. Cozy moments were easy. Tired whining and stubborn tears were the real test.
Warm, humid air blanketed the airport when they walked toward the baggage area. Alex snagged a porter, who quickly organized the luggage. Outside, a limousine was waiting.
“Where are we?” Bo asked once Vanessa had him snapped into the carseat.
“We're here, honey. And we’re going to have a wonderful time.” She hoped.
Sinking into the leather seat, she smoothed one hand over her navy capris that already needed pressing. After slipping off his jacket and tossing it inside, Alex got in, throwing her an excited smile. Taking her hand, he squeezed it.
The limo threaded its way through heavy traffic to the luxury resort, where Alex had made all the arrangements. Struck her now that she’d never asked if they would be sharing a room. Once inside the cool lobby, Alex led them to a sofa. Bo started to whine.
“He's hungry,” Vanessa explained, pulling Bo into her lap.
“I'll handle check-in.” Alex jabbed one hand through his hair. “You two wait here.”
A porter was posted nearby with the bags. Alex squatted. “How ya doing, buddy?”
Bo stared at Alex through red-rimmed eyes. “My tummy hurts.”
“We’re going to fix that as soon as we get up to the room.” Springing up like a man with a mission, Alex pivoted toward the main desk.
Vanessa laid a hand on Bo’s forehead. “Are you hot, baby?” Her mommy antennae went up. Did he just need to shed these clothes? “We’ll get you into shorts once we get to the room.”
Sitting back, she took in the exotic decor of the reception area, all palm green and citrus orange. No doubt about it, the hotel was upbeat and first-class, the kind of place she’d never be able to afford on her own. Families gathered at the front desk or around the concierge station. The vacation atmosphere sparkled with a carefree happiness she sure didn’t feel. The family excitement—that’s what she craved.
Sometime during this vacation she had to give Alex his answer. And he probably wouldn’t like it. Truth be told, she wasn’t happy with it either.
Standing at the front desk, Alex looked the epitome of parental cool. Cripes, one glance made her heart hurt. How often had she read that you can’t change a man, can’t make him love you?
Vanessa fell back on an old survival tactic. She’d count her blessings. Jillian had come through her final treatment, and the doctor felt things looked positive. Orders continued to flood the website. Grandpa Joe and Christine would marry in October.
Marriage. Her blessings stalled there.
“Everything’s all set.” Alex returned, handing a key card to the porter. “Now we'll get you some food,” he told Bo, hoisting him into his arms.
For just a second, Vanessa wanted to be Bo, cradled in Alex’s strong embrace. Slinging her purse over one shoulder, she tagged behind them to the elevator.
Within minutes, they were being shown their room. It wasn’t lost on her that the palatial suite had two bedrooms and two baths. She should be pleased by Alex’s consideration. Maybe he wouldn’t rush her. The porter wheeled in their bags.
“Just leave them in the main room,” Alex told the man, laying Bo down on the sofa and pulling out some bills. After the door had closed, he turned to her. “Choose your bedroom, and I’ll take the other one. I’ve ordered a crib. Be glad to have Bo in with me.”
