MikasBlackCougar

by Marisa Chenery

  Silvia stood beside my chair as she stared down at me with a condescending smile. “I guess Rachel was right. Trent has finally come to his senses.”

  “Just leave me alone, Silvia.”

  “What’s the matter? Did Trent break your heart?”

  I turned away to look at a spot on the table. Maybe if I ignored her she’d just go away—but I had no such luck.

  “Okay, retard, you can ignore me all you want. You’re the one who looks as if you’re a brainless idiot, not me. But I will say one last thing—don’t even think of trying to get Trent back. He’s mine now. You had your fun with him, now it’s my turn.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Silvia walk to the table where Rachel and the rest of her friends sat. Great. Now I not only had Trent ditching me, I also had Silvia gunning for me even worse than she had in the past. I didn’t know if this day could get any worse than it already had.

  While I finished eating my lunch, I found myself scanning the cafeteria every few minutes for Trent. The hope that he’d come strolling in at any moment slowly died as the minutes ticked by.

  Dejected, feeling as if I truly was the weirdo Silvia and her friends called me, I left the cafeteria as soon as I finished eating. The dark looks Silvia sent my way had started to wear on my nerves. Even if I had to hang out at my locker until the end of lunch, it would be a lot better than being stared at by her.

  The last two periods of the day proved to be uneventful, which suited me. I felt more than a little down. After the bell rang at the end of the last period, I headed for my locker. On the way there I spotted Trent in the hall, standing near a row of lockers. My heart skipped a beat as he looked up and stared right at me. I smiled, but it died when he looked away to focus his attention on the person who stood in front of him.

  My steps slowed to a snail’s pace when I saw who it was he talked to. Silvia stood in front of Trent with her hand on his broad chest. She had her back turned toward me. Unable to look away, I watched her go up on tiptoes and lock her lips to Trent’s. He did nothing to push her away.

  Feeling as if someone had sucker-punched me in the gut, I breathed rapidly with shallow breaths as I fought to keep my emotions in check. I’d be damned if I let Trent know how much it hurt to see him with Silvia. I wouldn’t make a fool of myself by breaking down in tears in the middle of the school’s hallway.

  I hurried by them with my head held high. Trent’s betrayal hurt beyond belief. I knew if I didn’t get out of the school soon I wouldn’t be able to keep it together. At my locker, I quickly threw what I needed into my backpack and practically ran out of the building. Once I got into my car I breathed a little easier, but it did nothing to lessen the hurt I felt.

  A few times during the drive home I had to wipe the tears I fought to hold back out of my eyes. I forced myself not to think of Trent and Silvia together. It just caused the ache inside me to build.

  By the time I made it home I was hanging on to my control by a mere thread. I ran inside the house and up to my bedroom. I heard Mom call my name as I slammed the door shut behind me. I threw myself onto my bed and shoved my face into the pillow. Only then did I let the tears that had been building up inside me fall.

  I punched the mattress as, inside my head, I screamed, How could Trent do this to me? How could he dump me for that witch Silvia? He’d told me he couldn’t stand her. That he hated it that she wanted him. Had it all been a lie? Given how he’d let her kiss him, I had to think it had been.

  I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Trent had been the first boy I had stronger feelings for than a crush. He’d made me feel I wasn’t the school freak as I’d become to be called. I actually thought I’d had a chance with him, and that he had feelings for me as well. The way he’d kissed me, as if he couldn’t get enough of me, had to mean I meant something to him.

  Rolling onto my back, I wiped the tears out of my eyes. If Trent wanted Silvia then they deserved each other. Feeling as if I’d just had my heart ripped out, I sat up on the bed and vowed those would be the last tears I ever cried over Trent. He wasn’t worth it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I’d just started my laptop when a knock came on my bedroom door. I knew it would be Mom coming to check on me. Using my fingers to straighten my hair, I called for her to come in.

  Mom closed the door behind her and came to sit on the edge of my bed. She looked at me with concern. I knew she couldn’t miss seeing how red and puffy my eyes had to be from crying. “Hey, kiddo, are you doing okay?”

  I shook my head. “Not really.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Something happen with you and Trent?”

  I blinked back the tears that burned behind my eyes at the mention of Trent’s name. “Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Mom reached over and patted my hand. “I’m sorry, kiddo. And here I thought I would be seeing more of Trent. He seemed really concerned about you on Saturday when he found out where you’d gone. Teenage boys can be so fickle.”

  “I don’t think anybody uses the word ‘fickle’ nowadays, Mom.”

  “Would you rather I call them dicks instead?”

  My eyes widened and I chuckled. “Mom!” She rarely, if ever at all, swore around Jared or me.

  “What? Just because I don’t talk like that all the time doesn’t mean I don’t know how! Just ask your father. He has firsthand knowledge of my swearing capabilities, especially when I get angry.”

  I laughed. I could just picture Mom swearing up a storm at Dad and him standing there silently taking it. When my parents do have the odd fight, Dad usually lets Mom get all her feelings off her chest first. “Poor Dad.”

  Mom smiled. “There, I got you to laugh at the expense of your father.” She stood. “I know it hurts right now, Mika, but you’ll get over Trent. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but try not to let him get to you. You’ll find another boy to like.”

  I nodded, then watched Mom leave. She shut the door behind her. I knew she meant well by telling me I’d get over Trent, but at the moment, I highly doubted I ever would.

  With a sigh, I pulled my laptop onto my lap and went to my email program. Even though I didn’t want to discuss what happened at school today with Mom, I had every intention of telling Cathy all about it. I opened a new email and typed out what happened and how I felt. It turned out to be one very long email in the end. Satisfied that I hadn’t left anything out, I hit “Send.”

  Exactly ten minutes later, my computer beeped to let me know I had a new email. It was from Cathy. I read it and had to shake my head at what she had written. For starters, almost every other word turned out to be a swear word. To say she was angry for me could only be described as an understatement. She called Silvia every nasty word she knew, even calling her a name that rhymed with witch and started with a “B” instead of a “W.” Trent, she personally wanted to punch in the nose, or kick him where he would feel it the most, then punch him in the nose.

  We spent the next hour exchanging emails. We didn’t use the instant messenger because Cathy was supposed to be working on homework. As usual, she had started to get behind in her school work.

  After I sent the last email off to her, I turned to look at my window when I heard the first drops of rain hit the glass. I had the window open a bit to let in some fresh air. I got up to close it. It had already started to get dark outside. I slid the window shut just as a flash of lightning lit up the sky and backyard. In that brief flash of light I thought I saw something.

  I waited for the lightning to come again. When it did, I moved closer to the window, not believing what I saw. In the very back of the yard, right under the tree fort, sat the black cougar. He stared up at my window. Thunder rumbled as the lightning stopped, throwing the yard into darkness once again.

  The next time lightning streaked across the sky the black cougar had disappeared. I pressed my nose to the glass, but couldn’t see him anywh
ere in the backyard. I’d only seen him for a few seconds. Could I have imagined him?

  As I closed my bedroom curtains, I heard Mom call up the stairs that dinner was ready. Not wanting to go down that road where I thought Trent and the black cougar could be one and the same, I left my bedroom. Even if the black cougar had been Trent, why would he come to my house? He’d made his feelings perfectly clear today at school. I had to be seeing things that really weren’t there. Determined not to let my imagination get away from me, I pushed thoughts of Trent and the black cougar out of my head. It wasn’t as if they’d do me any good. It would hurt like hell, but I had to move on as Mom said. Starting tomorrow, I’d act as if Trent didn’t exist. Two could play at that game.

  * * * *

  The next day at school I found out being dumped by Trent had gotten me noticed by a few of the boys in my classes. I received more than one interested stare, but one in particular took more of an interest in me than he had in the past.

  Jeff Langly was in my math class. I’d spoken to him a few times when we’d had geography together last year. He seemed nice enough from what little I knew of him. He at least had never treated me as the freak of the school. He also was one of the hotter guys with his light brown hair, blue eyes and good-looks. I probably would have developed a crush on him last year if I hadn’t already been crushing over Trent.

  I’d just sat at my desk when Jeff came and grabbed the one next to mine, the same one Trent had always taken. “Hey, Mika. How’s it going?”

  Surprised that Jeff had actually talked to me, I stammered, “N-Not bad.”

  “Good. Are you enjoying math so far?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Ah, that would be a big fat ‘No.’”

  Jeff laughed. “I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who hates it.”

  “I’m sure we aren’t alone,” I said with a chuckle.

  Trent picked that exact moment to walk into the classroom. I quickly glanced his way, then turned back to Jeff. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Trent walk down the aisle between Jeff’s desk and mine. When he reached us, Trent silently stared down at Jeff, giving him a hard look.

  Jeff returned his stare, not backing down an inch. “The desk’s already taken. Go sit somewhere else.”

  Trent’s lips thinned into a hard line as he glared at the other boy. I thought for sure he would say something, but he didn’t. He silently walked away and sat at an empty desk at the back of the class.

  Jeff shook his head. “Man, what the frick is his problem? I thought you two broke up.”

  “We did,” I said softly as I stole a quick glance at Trent. Unlike yesterday, he sat at his desk, watching my every move. “Trent was the one who broke things off.” I reached up and touched the mark on my neck. I felt Trent’s stare bore into me from across the room.

  “Are you sure he wanted to end things between you two? From the look he gave me, and the one he’s now giving you, I’m thinking he wants you back.”

  I turned in my seat, giving Trent more of my back. “Well, he’s not getting me back. He made himself perfectly clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” I sat up straighter in my chair when the teacher arrived.

  Jeff leaned into the aisle and said quietly, “Have lunch with me today, Mika.”

  Not sure I’d heard Jeff correctly, I asked, “What?”

  “I said, have lunch with me today. Since you and Trent are no longer a thing, come and have your lunch in the cafeteria with me.”

  Not able to think of a single reason why I shouldn’t, I nodded. “Sure, why not?”

  “Great. I’ll meet you outside the cafeteria doors.”

  A loud snap came from the back of the room. I glanced behind me to find Trent staring at me as he held a pencil broken in half. Even from this short distance I saw his eyes had lightened to a lighter shade of brown. I turned back around, determined not to let him bug me. He couldn’t have heard Jeff asking me to have lunch with him. Jeff had spoken only loud enough for me to hear. Whatever Trent’s problem was, he’d just have to get over it.

  * * * *

  I hurried to my locker—I didn’t want to keep Jeff waiting too long. I also wanted to get away from Rachel. During class she’d done nothing but torment me whenever she got the chance. She seemed to take great joy in telling me how Silvia had finally gotten Trent for her own. Rachel then proceeded to tell me about the plans Silvia had made for the weekend for herself and Trent. Even though I vowed to get over Trent, it still hurt to hear how quickly he’d gone over to the other side.

  Jeff stood just outside the cafeteria doors as he’d promised. We went inside together and sat at one of the empty tables. He took a chair beside me instead of across from me.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes before Jeff asked, “What happened to the girl I used to see you eating lunch with all the time last year?”

  I swallowed my mouthful of food before I answered him. “Cathy moved away to Vancouver Island over the summer.”

  “That must bite. You guys seemed close.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, we were, but we still talk on the phone or on the Internet.”

  “That’s good.” Jeff looked across the room for a moment, and shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “What?”

  Jeff jerked his head in the direction of another table. “Trent. He’s over there with that beeotch Silvia and her friends. Silvia’s practically sitting in his lap. Did he break things off with you to be with her?”

  I looked in the direction Jeff had motioned toward. Sure enough, Trent sat with Silvia and her crew about four tables away. Silvia had her arm around his shoulders and had pressed herself up against his side. It looked as if she had her chest plastered to his arm.

  It stung to see Silvia all over Trent, but the way he looked at me with anger showing on his face soon overrode any pain I felt. I knew it had to be directed at me since he looked in my direction and completely ignored Silvia. Why would Trent be angry with me? I wasn’t the one who dumped him for another guy. But when his gaze shifted to Jeff and he looked even more pissed off, it suddenly became crystal clear. Trent didn’t like the attention Jeff showed me, and he sure as hell didn’t like that Jeff sat with me. Too bad for him.

  I made a point of ignoring Trent after that and focused my whole attention on Jeff. He turned out to be a great guy. I could talk to him just as easily as I’d been able to talk to Trent. We even liked a lot of the same things. The lunch period flew by. It would have been more enjoyable if Trent hadn’t spent the time intently watching me. I didn’t look across the room at him, but I felt his gaze on me. It almost felt as if he physically touched me.

  At the end of lunch, Jeff offered to walk me to my locker. As we stood to leave together, I took one last look at Trent. His eyes seemed to glow for a split second as he curled his upper lip in a snarl. Turning my back, I walked out of the cafeteria with Jeff.

  Chapter Sixteen

  By the end of the week, I’d just about reached the end of my patience with Trent. During math and lunch, he did nothing but watch Jeff and I. It got to the point where I almost couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t so much the angry looks he shot Jeff as much as the possessive ones he sent in my direction. As if I belonged to him and him alone, which I didn’t.

  On Friday morning I found Jeff hanging around outside the math classroom. When he saw me he called my name and motioned me over. He took my arm and led me a little away from the door.

  “What’s up, Jeff?” I asked as I gave him a questioning look.

  He smiled. “I just wanted to see what you were doing tomorrow night.”

  I’d had a feeling something like this was going to come up, but I hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. I liked Jeff, but I didn’t know if I wanted him as a boyfriend yet. Even though Trent acted like an ass now, I still hadn’t been able to get over him. Sometimes at night I would have dreams of him and the black cougar, ones where Trent said I was his, and that he’d ne
ver leave me. It wouldn’t be really fair to Jeff if I started seeing him when I still had feelings for Trent.

  Sensing my hesitation, Jeff said, “I know it hasn’t been that long since you and Trent broke up. I just wanted to see if you would go see a movie with me tomorrow night. That’s it. Nothing else.”

  “I don’t know, Jeff. I still haven’t gotten over him.”

  “It wouldn’t be as if I’m asking you out. Think of it as one friend asking another out for a bit of fun on the weekend. Please, Mika. Plus, it’ll be a chance to show Trent you’ve moved on. It isn’t as if he gave a crap about your feelings when he dumped you and went right to Silvia afterward.”

  Jeff had a point there. Why shouldn’t I go out and enjoy myself? Given time, I could see myself falling for Jeff. He was tall, good-looking, a nice guy and someone I could easily talk to. What else could I ask for in a boyfriend? The only thing holding me back was that I didn’t have as strong feelings for him as I had for Trent. With Trent, I wanted to wrap myself around him and burrow my way under his skin. And when he’d kissed me, I wanted more, so much more.

  I slowly nodded. “Okay, you’ve convinced me. Just remember it isn’t a date. We’re only going out as friends.”

  “It’s a deal. I’ll pick you up sometime after six tomorrow night. That should give us enough time to catch the first show.”

  “Sounds good.” I rattled off my address as Jeff wrote it down on a piece of paper in his binder.

  “Oh, and before I forget, I won’t be around at lunch. I’ve got a dentist appointment. Sorry, you’re going to have to sit alone today.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” I quickly reassured him. “I’ll be fine. Are you coming back after your appointment?”

  “No. My brother and sister are going as well. There won’t be much time left of school once we all get our teeth checked. So I get the whole afternoon off.”