Toil And Trouble, A Paranormal Romance (Jolie Wilkins)

by H. P. Mallory

  I pulled away from her and chewed my bottom lip, trying to remember if there was anything else I needed to tell her, anything else I might be forgetting. “Christa, do you remember what Rand told us about his bank information? Do you have all that stuff with you?”

  She nodded. “Geez, Jules, you’re going to see me in a week or so, everything will be fine.”

  I prayed she was right.

  ~

  After leaving Christa, I had to go through check in and security all over again, but this time my flight details would take me to Aberdeen, Scotland. Check in and security had taken longer than I’d anticipated and now I only had thirty minutes left to take Mathilda’s pill, transform, and find my departure gate. Talk about cutting it close.

  Once through security, I hightailed it to the nearest restroom, nearly bowling over an old lady as she came through the door. Luckily, there wasn’t a line so I charged into the first stall, reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out the seed-pill. Now was the time of reckoning.

  I opened my mouth and plopped the pill on my tongue, waiting for some hideous flavor to reach out and accost my taste buds. But the taste wasn’t half bad—maybe a mix of mint and berry. I’d have to thank Mathilda later … well, if there was a later.

  It didn’t seem as if the pill was dissolving but I continued sucking, all the while manifesting the new outfit that would take the place of my jeans and t-shirt. My sneakers melted into Birkenstocks, which I’d ordinarily never be caught dead in, but I was going for an ensemble that in no way resembled my wardrobe. My jeans transformed into a tie-dyed mini skirt while my white t-shirt bloomed into a blousy peasant top to match the blue of the tie-dyed skirt. I looked very … groovy.

  Now that my outfit was accomplished, I ran my fingers over my face, trying to feel for any transformations, but I seemed to be the same old me. I couldn’t detect any voices in the restroom, so I peeked out of the stall door and found myself peering back in the restroom mirror. Hmm, maybe the pill needed a little more time …

  I timed another five minutes during which the pill had completely dissolved but, still, my hair remained long and blond. The acid taste of panic started in my gut. Maybe Mathilda had missed a necessary step of the magic? Maybe I hadn’t focused enough? If the pill was a dud, my whole plan was blown. I thought about altering my appearance by means of my own magic but I didn’t think I could keep it up for more than an hour.

  As soon as the thought left my mind, I felt a slight tug at the nape of my neck and the heavy mass of my hair started to recede. I reached for the back of my head and found my hair was now short. A slight numbness overtook my face and I peeked out of the stall again to watch my transformation in the mirror.

  My hair was now short and black. And my face—my skin blanched white before a tan began climbing from one side of my cheeks, waging a war against my paleness until it had usurped the entirety of my skin. That was when I realized my face didn’t match the rest of my body. I looked like a caramel lollypop on a white stick. Dammit!

  I glanced down to assess my lily-white legs and magicked myself into some red tights. Then I turned to address my peasant blouse which openly exposed the expanse of white skin flowing across my chest and shoulders. I imagined the peasant blouse morphing into a light-weight cotton turtleneck. Then I faced the issue of my white ass feet and with a thought, watched my Birkenstocks give way to brown cowboy boots. Thank God there wasn’t such a thing as the fashion police.

  Glancing back at the mirror, I exhaled a sigh of relief—my metamorphosis was complete. I was easily the most beautiful woman in the airport wearing the ugliest outfit. C’est la vie! And now I had just five minutes before my flight departed. Craptastic.

  Hurrying from the bathroom, I checked my ticket and noted I was at Gate 22. Luckily, Gate 22 was just two gates from the restroom. Well, at least that was easy! I jogged to the gate, weaving through the hordes of people all desperate to make their flights on time. I started to freak out again when I noticed there wasn’t one person in the waiting area. When I checked the boarding screen, the words “Flight 3453 to Aberdeen, Scotland, moved to Gate 1” nearly made me wet myself. Gate 1 was all the way at the other end of the airport. Double Dog Dammit!

  Well, this was where Sinjin’s blood would serve me well. I didn’t have a moment to debate whether or not I should use his extreme speed as I was surrounded by humans. But I was about to miss my flight. So I ran, although it would probably be more fitting to say I flew because in a matter of seconds, I was standing in front of Gate 1, right as the airport attendant closed the gate doors. And as far as I could tell, I’d moved quickly enough that no one had noticed.

  “I’m on this flight!” I called and rushed the elderly woman who glared down her nose at me.

  “You’re too late.”

  “I can see the plane,” I argued, hoping she wasn’t going to be difficult.

  “Once this door is closed, it’s closed for good and as you can see,” she glanced at the door, “it’s closed.”

  I didn’t have time for this. I looked at the woman and once I had her attention, used my powers of reasoning. “I have to board that flight so open the door.”

  My powers of persuasion work almost like hypnotism—basically using suggestion to persuade someone to take whatever action I desire of them. The woman merely nodded and opened the door, holding it wide for me. So she’d turned out to be all bark and no bite. I ran down the platform to find Sinjin standing with the flight attendant who was attempting to close the door but unable to do so with Sinjin blocking it. Of course, she didn’t look ticked off in the least. Quite the contrary, they appeared to be playing a flirtatious game—her trying to close it and him sidestepping her every chance he got.

  Sinjin glanced at me and a huge smile beamed across his face. Even though I didn’t want to admit it (he was still on my shit list), his smile made me weak in the knees.

  “Ah, there is my little poppet now.”

  So he could recognize me by the scent of my blood because there wasn’t a thing about my appearance that even slightly resembled the old Jolie.

  The flight attendant stepped aside as I walked aboard and threw me an irritated expression, like I’d just made off with her catch, which, in a manner of speaking, I guess I had. Course, if she knew the real Sinjin was a self-centered, infuriating, jealous, albeit incredibly sexy, vampire, maybe she’d thank me.

  Sinjin locked my arm in an ice cold grip and eyed me from head to toe, only to suppress an amused chuckle—probably at my outfit. He escorted me onto the plane which was chock full of our legion from front to back. The plane was ablaze with auras of every color except, of course, for the vamps, because they have no auras.

  No one paid me the slightest attention, which was good.

  “What a bizarre getup, love,” Sinjin whispered in my ear.

  “I don’t have the energy to respond,” I muttered, wanting only to find my seat and take a nap. I needed to purge all the stress that had been building up in me before I exploded.

  “Here is your seat, pet,” Sinjin said and pointed to an aisle seat just before us. I allowed him to take the window and then started to take my own seat when a shadowy figure obstructed my view. A shiver of awareness washed over my skin, and I spun around to watch Rand walking down the aisle, only to sit directly across from me. Perfect, just perfect.

  I practically dove for my seat, huddling down low and tucking my chin to my chest. “Thanks for seating me here,” I muttered, fully aware that Sinjin had orchestrated it on purpose just because he enjoyed stretching my limits. Before I could sit down, Sinjin smiled up at me devilishly. It was a smile that could lead to nothing good.

  “Randall, meet my human,” he said and I could’ve punched him.

  Rand glanced at me apathetically. He offered his hand but I was scared to take it, lest he somehow detect who I really was. But when he didn’t pull his hand away, I accepted it and shook it limply.

  “Pleased to meet you,” he said, s
miling. “And I’m Rand, not Randall, despite what some people would lead you to believe.”

  I offered him a quick smile, hastily yanking my hand from his. “I’m …” Crap! I hadn’t invented a new name and worse, I was talking in my own voice! My entire brain went into a meltdown and I just sat there like a moron. Sinjin reached out and patted my hand.

  “This is Tallulah,” he said in a mocking voice. “I have just feasted on her blood, thus she is quite scattered.”

  Tallulah?? WTF?? I swear Sinjin existed merely to piss me off. I exhaled a long breath and tried to contain the hurricane of anger that was currently plowing through me. Regardless of what Sinjin did or said, I had to maintain my composure. There was just too much riding on my ability to dupe Rand. So that’s what I focused on.

  I managed an embarrassed smile to which Rand reciprocated before returning to his Economist newspaper. Well, at least he had no clue who I really was. And as for Sinjin … how I would survive the flight to Aberdeen, not to mention the two hour drive to Inverness, was beyond me.

  “Love,” he whispered and put his hand on the highest point of my thigh, just underneath my skirt. “Remember you are my human and you only live to worship me. You are not quite acting as well as you should.”

  I leaned into him and whispered, “Get your hand off my thigh or I’m going to stake you.”

  He chuckled and instead of removing the offending appendage, he massaged the inside of my thigh with the pad of his thumb. I didn’t want to admit it, but something like liquid lava erupted in my stomach and went due south.

  “I can smell your desire, love,” he whispered with a sibilant hiss.

  A bolt of embarrassment coursed through me at the thought that Rand was sitting so close. Not wanting to draw attention to us, I merely gripped his hand, dug my nails into his skin and returned his property to his lap. “Are you trying to piss me off more than I already am?” I snapped.

  “I find your anger … sexy.”

  “I don’t have the patience to deal with you right now.”

  “Ah, Tallulah …” he chuckled.

  This was going to be a long flight.

  ~

  One long, long hour later, during which Sinjin relentlessly pushed all my buttons, we landed in Aberdeen. As we exited the plane, Rand stood next to me while Sinjin moved down a few rows to get his bag from the overhead. Luckily for Rand and me, we didn’t need any luggage since our magic meant we could create whatever we required.

  “I couldn’t help but notice you … arguing with Sinjin,” Rand started as my stomach plummeted. God, I hoped my rebellious sparring with the impossible vampire hadn’t jeopardized my disguise ...

  “Oh,” I started, but remembered I was speaking in my own voice again. Luckily, Rand didn’t seem to notice.

  “I would be more than happy to share a ride with you if you’d like,” he said with a boyish smile. It was just like Rand to offer help to the damsel in distress. I could think of nothing I’d rather do than share a ride with him but as myself, Jolie, not as Tallulah the hippie cowgirl.

  I cleared my throat and in the split second decision required to change my voice, I could only think of Dolly Parton, go figure. So my voice came out soprano high, southern, and completely weird. “Thanks for the offer but Sin … and I were just havin’ a … lover’s quarrel.” Not only was my voice ridiculously high, but my accent was worse, a cross between a redneck in Deliverance and Scarlett O’Hara. Still, ridiculous or not, it didn’t appear Rand was in any way wise to my deception.

  He just smiled and nodded. “I understand.”

  “Thanks all the same … shugah.” Ugh, this was just embarrassing.

  He turned and started down the narrow aisle, his body taking up the entirety of the small space. His relaxed dark jeans cupped his ass beautifully and contrasted against the white of his t-shirt and the navy blue of his … jumper as he called it. God, he was just beautiful.

  Apparently the flight attendants concurred, as they both watched him and once he’d departed, one turned to the other, and whispered. “Holy shit, was he hot.”

  I didn’t have a chance to see their reactions to Sinjin because he was several people behind me but I’m sure it would be the same. Despite being surrounded by incredibly handsome men, it didn’t take away from the fact that they were equally frustrating.

  ~

  Sinjin told me to wait by the curb in front of the Hertz Rent-A-Car while he retrieved our rental. As I stood there, the members of our legion dispersed throughout the myriad of rental car agencies. It made me proud to be among them, to be fighting for the same goal.

  I watched Rand depart from the Europcar rental counter, dangling keys from his fingers while searching for his rental from among the hundreds. His eyes eventually found mine and he smiled and waved.

  “Good luck!” he called and I smiled, feeling like I wanted to cry.

  I lost track of Rand as he disappeared into the deluge of rental cars which was just as well because watching him only depressed me. I didn’t ponder it any further because a black Mercedes pulled up. The windows were tinted so dark, I couldn’t see who was driving. The door opened and a smiling Sinjin stepped out, walking over to open my door.

  My mouth dropped. This was like no Mercedes I’d ever seen before—two doors with the overall look of something closer to a Viper. No, this was an SLS AMG and the only reason I knew that was because I read it off the back of the car. “Hertz rents these?” I asked, amazed.

  Sinjin chuckled. “No, love. I own it and arranged to have it sent here. I thought you would enjoy driving to Inverness in style.”

  Style could mean lots of different things. And I would’ve been fine in a Chevy Malibu … I shrugged and climbed in, sinking into the red leather bucket seat. The entire interior (seats, dash, doors) were red leather, in contrast to the shiny black dash. This vehicle was Sinjin to a T.

  “So you own this?” I asked, once we were on the road and his navigation aid finished chirping directions in a female British accent.

  “Yes. Do you approve?”

  I didn’t really know if I approved or not and was overcome by the realization that I really didn’t know much about Sinjin. I mean, I didn’t know where he lived or what he did when he wasn’t preparing for war, the list went on. And how in the hell had he orchestrated delivery of this vehicle to Aberdeen in the first place?

  “Do you live in Scotland?” I asked.

  “No, pet.”

  I frowned when it appeared he wasn’t going to expostulate. “Okay, so where do you live?”

  “I have made my home all over, love. Most recently in Paris.”

  “So how did …”

  “Enter next roundabout and take first exit onto A96,” the navigation aid interrupted me. Sinjin downshifted as we took the roundabout and then double clutched, revving the engine once we were out of the turn and onto the highway. With the scenery melting into a blur amid a black canvas, I couldn’t even guess how fast we were going. I hadn’t realized I was gripping the door handle until Sinjin glanced over and chuckled.

  “I am a very good driver, love.” He turned up the volume of the CD player and I couldn’t say I disliked the song. It wasn’t loud or too fast paced but there was definitely a beat. The male singer’s voice was soft, moody almost. Once I heard the lyrics, it made more sense as to why Sinjin was listening to it …

  “… but resistance is futile … and I am gonna drink your blood … give you eternal life …”

  “So not only are you a vampire but you listen to songs about vampires?” I asked incredulously.

  Sinjin smiled and didn’t seem in the least bit embarrassed. But he never got embarrassed, so it wasn’t surprising. “It would appear so.”

  “What are we listening to?”

  “Indie music.” He reached into a consul in the middle of the car and handed me a CD. The cover was pink with some sort of robot on it. The band was Say Hi to Your Mom. I flipped the CD over and found the song—Blah Blah B
lah.

  “Can we listen to it again?” I asked, needing something to focus on, something to pull my thoughts away from the impending war.

  Sinjin raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, merely hitting the back button on his steering wheel and Blah Blah Blah started up again.

  I relaxed into my seat, watching the lights of the small Scottish burgs vanish as we raced by. The velvet black of the sky was punctuated with millions of twinkling stars and I couldn’t help but feel attracted to my vampire driver. I glanced over at him and noticed his eyes were frozen to the road ahead of us. Intermittently, he glanced over his shoulder so he could pass whoever happened to be slowing our progress.

  Blah Blah Blah ended and another equally great song took its place. The CD player screen read Digitalism—Pogo. Somehow Sinjin’s choice in music gave me a window into his personality I’d never seen before. And his indie music choices impressed me far greater than his car did.

  “Are you still angry with me, love?”

  Was I still angry with him? The answer was pretty obvious. “It’s difficult to stay angry with you.” And it was the God’s honest truth. There was just something about Sinjin—something innocent and honest which so contrasted with who and what he was. At any rate, I wasn’t angry with him anymore.

  He smiled eagerly. “Good, I do not like it when we quarrel.”

  I continued staring out the window, studying the passing lights and feeling an emptiness that depressed me. In a night’s time, we’d be in the throes of battle. And there was so much riding on the outcome of this war. My stomach cramped violently and I suddenly felt as if I’d be sick. Anxiety climbed up my chest and lodged in my throat, cutting off my breath. As the panic overcame me, I grabbed the hand rest, leaning forward as I started hyperventilating.

  “Jolie?” I couldn’t see Sinjin’s reaction, but the concern in his voice was obvious.

  Tears started in my eyes as I tried to calm myself and tried even harder to breathe. I was hyperventilating to such a degree, I couldn’t control it. “I … I can’t breathe.”