Izzy didn’t know what to say to him, the pain and desperation pouring off him in waves. “Have you tried counseling? Maybe that would help.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to anyone. She doesn’t think anything’s wrong. Add to it what’s going on with the revelation about Dad, and I’ve about had it.”
Serena rounded the island and wrapped her arms around their brother. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, to make this all go away.”
Izzy had always envied her sister’s empathetic nature and gentle heart. It was probably why Serena was the perfect person to run an animal shelter. She couldn’t stand to see anyone, especially animals, suffering. Izzy had been like that once. But Dad’s constant harping on her success combined with the months and years of Erik’s emotional abuse had left her bitter and jaded.
Not that her heart didn’t break for Justin.
Izzy hadn’t been able to find a way to soothe herself during all of her miserable times so she offered the only thing she had. “Do you think it would help for you to take a breather? You can stay here for a while if you want.”
He shook his head. “I love her. I do. I can’t imagine life without Maddie. That’s why this is so hard. I try everything to make her feel better, but I’m always saying the wrong thing. I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet. There has got to be something else I can do. Maybe I will call a counselor.”
“Tanner has counselors at the teen center he runs. Maybe I can ask him for a referral.”
“I don’t want anyone else to know this shit, Izzy.” The tone of Justin’s voice surprised her and demonstrated exactly why this was a good idea.
“He won’t know why I’m asking. I’ll see what I can find out.” She circled the island and wrapped her arms around both Serena and Justin. They reciprocated until they stood there in a big huddle in her kitchen.
Serena pulled back. “So, tell me about that sexy man who just walked out of your house. I want all the details.”
Justin snatched his keys off the counter. “That’s my cue. No way do I want to hear about my sister’s sex life.”
She threw an innocent look at her brother. “What makes you think we’re talking about sex?”
He raised his eyebrows and motioned toward her robe.
Okay, maybe she could have thrown on a shirt, and maybe Tanner should have stayed in her room until Serena and Justin left, but she was finally happy, and she wasn’t going to hide that.
“Catch you guys later. And thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without the family right now.” He headed toward the door but turned back to mouth Thank You to Izzy before exiting.
She nodded.
The door had barely slammed behind Justin before Serena asked again. “Now spill, sis, I want to hear all the details.”
Her face heated again at the thought of what she and Tanner had done last night. Damn fair skin. Served her well on the stage but betrayed every emotion otherwise.
“Oh man, that good, huh?”
She fanned her face. “Oh yeah, that good. I, um, I just… I don’t know what to say. It was different than it’s ever been before.” In more ways than one. She’d been humiliated to admit to Tanner that she’d never had an orgasm during sex, but he’d said exactly the right thing and then demonstrated over and over that there was nothing wrong with her. “Can I tell you something?”
Serena climbed back on the stool and patted the one beside her. “Sure. What’s going on?”
Izzy opened her mouth and then closed it again. She just wasn’t comfortable discussing these things with other people. But if she couldn’t talk to her sister, then who?
All the while, Serena said nothing. Izzy appreciated the minute to collect her thoughts. “With Erik, I, uh, it’s just that I never, um…”
Serena furrowed her brows for a minute… and then her eyes widened. “You never had an orgasm with Erik. What in the hell was wrong with him?”
Izzy laughed at the bluntness of Serena’s response. She should have expected no less from her sister. “I kinda thought, you know, that I just wasn’t good enough—”
“No way. That was all on the bastard, as it appears that Tanner so aptly demonstrated last night, huh?”
“Yeah, he did. Multiple times.”
“Good for you, sis.” Serena settled into her seat like she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It wasn’t like Izzy had anything planned for today, anyway.
“He was unbelievable. He said he was taking care of me first. And he did. I didn’t think I could ever feel that way. But he made it so, I don’t know, easy. It was like I’d known him for a lot longer than a few weeks. I wasn’t nervous about him seeing my body or criticizing that I’d gained weight.”
“Erik said those things to you?”
Izzy nodded.
“I can’t believe the asshole did that. Who does he think he is, Mr. Charming or something? What was wrong with him?”
Izzy laughed. It had taken her a long time to overcome the unhealthy obsession with her weight. It wasn’t uncommon for dancers to have issues with managing their bodies. The pressure to be thin was widely prevalent. She had enough issues on her own, but Erik’s comments had fueled her disorder. He’d said it was for her own good—that she could leap higher and hang longer if she lost a few more pounds. He’d actually praised her when her ribs became prominent. What was wrong with him was right. She’d already come to realize the damage she was doing to her body before her accident, and that fueled Erik’s anger even more. But she’d put those thoughts, as well as Erik, behind her… and she was never going back.
She had a good life here and a new relationship that had her heart racing at the mere thought of seeing Tanner. She had never felt that way with Erik. With him, it was all about the company and what they could do as the principal couple. It had little to do with real feelings. She didn’t understand that at the time, but being away from him, and meeting Tanner, had shown her exactly how dysfunctional that relationship had been.
She wrapped her arm around Serena and pulled her to her side. “Thanks, sis. I knew I could count on you.”
“I aim to please.” Serena finished off her coffee and carried the mug to the sink.
“Is there some reason you came by?”
“Nope. I was out for a run and saw Justin’s car and another strange one in the drive. I figured you might need a referee. Or at least a spectator. I didn’t expect to get a glimpse of the main attraction. I’ll have to find me one of those.”
“Well, keep your hands to yourself. This one’s mine.”
Chapter Sixteen
Tanner stared at his cell phone, as if his attention alone would make it light up. He hadn’t heard from Izzy since he’d passed Serena on the way out of her house this morning. It wasn’t at all how he would have chosen to end their night together. He had specifically arranged for Mary to take Hayley on an outing this morning so he could spend a little extra time with Izzy. But her brother bursting into her house hadn’t been part of his plan. He’d wanted to make love to her one more time, to see her beautiful body washed in the early rays of the sun streaming through her window, before he left her side.
They had been ramping up to last night since the day they met, but he couldn’t have predicted how it had affected him. He’d been with plenty of other women, but he’d never been as emotionally connected until he’d slid into Izzy and they had become one. It was as if their hearts beat together, as if he no longer knew where he left off and she began. And now he didn’t know what to do about that.
Dating as a single father was hard. Sure, Hayley loved Izzy as her dance teacher, and they seemed to bond the times they’d been together outside of the studio. But Izzy becoming a mother figure? That was different. He knew that Hayley held out hope that Vanessa would stroll back into their life someday and they could become the happy family she always dreamed of. What child didn’t want their mother?
But for the first time, he was seeing the
possibility of another woman taking on part of that role in his daughter’s life. And that scared the shit out of him. What if six months or a year down the road, he and Izzy broke up? His feelings for Izzy were intense, and he’d seen a look come over her eyes while they were making love that told him she felt the same. But life had no guarantees. If something happened to their relationship, where would that leave Hayley? Hell, where would that leave him? It had only been a few weeks, but Izzy had already become a part of his soul.
As if thinking of her made it so, the phone flashed with a selfie of him and Izzy, and then a text scrolled up the screen. Sorry about this morning. My siblings can be a pain in the a$$ sometimes. He chuckled at the string of emojis that followed her words. Even in texting her personality shone through.
That’s ok. But you owe me a raincheck.
O yea, what 4?
As if she didn’t know. One round of wakeup sex. I wanted to see you with the morning light on your naked body. I felt neglected.
Three dots flashed on the screen. For a long time. Oh yeah, I’m sure PART of you felt neglected.
He scoffed. She had that right. He’d had to take himself in hand under the cold spray of his shower when he’d gotten home this morning. She had no idea what she did to him.
Serena and I are heading out to run some errands. I’ll talk to you later <3 <3 <3.
His heart fell. He’d wanted to see her again today. He’d become a heartsick fool. And the funny thing… he didn’t mind. How lame was it that he smiled at the hearts at the end of her response? As much as he’d hoped to find an excuse to spend the day, shoot, the entire weekend, with her, he couldn’t deny the work that had piled up since he’d started seeing Izzy. He had counseling and probation reports to complete, the never-ending string of grant applications, and the break-in that hadn’t been solved.
* * *
Two members of the Cedar Hill Sheriff’s Department were waiting for Tanner when he rounded the corner in front of the teen center on Monday morning. “Uh oh, this can’t be good.”
“Mr. Ross, I’m Sergeant Sanders, and this is Detective Balkin. I’m afraid you had some trouble over the weekend.”
Tanner sighed as he fiddled with the door. The key stuck and he had to jiggle it to get it to work. That was new. So were the fresh scratch marks, a sure sign that someone had tried to jimmy the lock. “What happened?”
“We were on routine patrol and we saw two teens loitering around the front door. By the time we stopped, they ran away. Their faces were hidden, so we weren’t able to make an ID. But it didn’t appear that they were able to enter the facility.”
Thank goodness for small favors. The kids had worked so hard to overcome the anxiety of the last break-in. He wasn’t sure how many times they could handle their safe space being invaded before it stopped being a refuge.
“We dusted for fingerprints, but there were so many overlapping sets, it’s hard to distinguish which ones could be from that night. We wrote up a report—a copy will be made available to you in forty-eight hours. But we needed to inform you in person that we chased two teens away. After the previous incident, we thought you’d want to know.”
“Absolutely.” He motioned for them to join him inside. There didn’t appear to be any damage, and it didn’t look as though anyone had been here since he’d left Saturday afternoon. “Has there been any progress on finding out who broke in last time?”
Detective Balkin’s lips pressed into a straight line. “Not much. Without any witnesses and this being a high-traffic space, we didn’t get any usable prints. All we can hope for now is to keep an ear to the ground and hope someone brags about it.”
Tanner’s heart fell. He knew these kids. They were fiercely loyal—to each other. Even if one of them bragged, it was unlikely someone else would snitch. That wasn’t how things worked in the world they lived in. He’d like to think he’d built a relationship with them so they’d feel comfortable talking to him, but old habits die hard… and teenagers were typically distrustful of adults. “I’ll talk to the kids again, but I can’t imagine anyone will betray their friends. Please just keep me updated, and thanks for stopping by.”
The deputies nodded and left him staring at the mural. The kids had done a fantastic job. It was a depiction of progress… starting on the left with kids hanging out on the streets. Then there were courtroom scenes and a hilarious depiction of a judge lording over a defiant kid. By the time he reached the end of the mural, he saw himself and the center. He recognized many of the faces in the mural, yet others were unfamiliar. The same kid who was defiant with the judge was shown helping another teen with homework. Tanner himself was shooting basketball with a handful of kids and again sitting in a counseling session. He loved his job and hated that a teen felt so lost that their only solution was to lash out at the center. He almost hoped they never found out who vandalized the place that so many saw as a second home.
“They did a great job, didn’t they?”
Tanner hadn’t even heard Monica come in the door, much less step up beside him. He nodded, his mind racing with images of the mural interspersed with the destruction they’d encountered a few weeks back. One thought stuck out… he had to know the person who’d broken in. But the culprit’s identity was just out of his reach.
His silence must have surprised her. “What’s going on?”
“Deputies stopped by. Someone tried to jimmy the lock this weekend.”
“Oh, Tanner. Again?”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Yep. I was just sitting here, studying this beautiful mural that our kids created and wondering who would have so much anger that they’d want to lash out at us. We’re the safe place for kids.”
“We are. But you know as well as anyone that we can’t save all of them. Sometimes the few hours they get with us aren’t nearly enough to overcome the bad things they face at home. We’re also so close to Philly that it’s easy for many to sneak back to their previous lives. You always say you can’t help someone who isn’t ready to be helped.”
“But what if we’ve missed something? What if one of our kids is crying out for help and we just aren’t hearing them?”
“Why don’t we schedule some one-on-one time with you and the kids this week? Maybe you can get them to open up about what’s going on at home, or if they’re feeling pressure to join a gang or do drugs. It might not be someone from the center at all. One of the gangs could have come after the center in retaliation for what we’re trying to do here.”
Monica had a good point, but Tanner couldn’t ignore the feeling deep in his gut that this was something more. Where would he find the hours to add in more than thirty individual sessions? He’d just have to find the time. He’d never forgive himself if he missed the signs of someone needing help. “Go ahead and schedule the sessions. I’ll figure out how to fit them in.”
She headed back to the offices while he took another minute in the social room. They’d built a good place here, a safe place for teens to spend their time away from the pressures of gangs and drugs. What if Monica was right and someone felt threatened by the center? Had they helped a teen turn away from a gang who didn’t want to let someone go? Regardless, that wouldn’t stop him—no way. It was on him to protect the kids, and the center, and help those who need it the most.
Could he have prevented this from happening if he’d been paying more attention to the kids recently, and less on Izzy and his growing relationship with her? Was that the problem? Was his time with Izzy taking away from the kids… and had someone not been happy? The kids here were important to him… but so was Izzy. He just had to find a way to help whoever was crying out.
Chapter Seventeen
“Mom?” Izzy closed the back door to her childhood home. The sweet scent of simmering grapes swirled around the kitchen. Mom must be making her famous grape jelly. Izzy had a lot of fond memories of standing on a chair at the stove, stirring grapes in a huge pot while they boiled. A couple dozen Mason jar
s sat open on the counter, waiting for the jelly to be poured. Mom’s jelly had won a blue ribbon at the county fair more than once.
But that wasn’t why Izzy loved making jelly. It was because making jelly was something she and Mom did together.
Alexis and Serena never showed any interest. and it became something Izzy and Mom got to share. Mom had enjoyed Izzy’s dancing, but pushing her to succeed, to strive for national recognition, had always been Dad’s thing. But this, working together to separate and wash the grapes, to add just the right amount of sugar, and to can and seal it at the exact moment, had been her special time with her mom.
If only that were why she’d stopped by Mom’s house this afternoon. She’d been putting off this confrontation with her mother long enough. That wasn’t fair to Mom. She deserved to know what was going on with Dad’s lawyer and their half-sister. After all this time, Izzy could finally refer to Rachel as her half-sister without the anger. Serena was right—it wasn’t Rachel’s fault their father was an ass who refused to acknowledge her.
Mom’s yellow tabby cat wound around Izzy’s legs. “Hey, Mickey.” Izzy picked up the yellow fur ball. Dang, he was heavy. Mickey was another refugee from Helping Hands. Because Mom had been a nurse, she’d been willing to take on a cat with diabetes when others cited fear of needles as a reason not to adopt this sweetie. Izzy scratched his head and he nuzzled her, his purr motor in high gear.
Mickey accepted her love for a minute and then wiggled to get out of her arms. So independent. He wanted love, but only on his terms. He meandered over to his bowl in the corner, sniffing around the edge before lifting a single piece out with his paw and placing it in his mouth. That rascal.
Izzy headed down the hall just as Mom stepped out of her bedroom, a pile of sheets in her arms. “Hey, honey. I didn’t hear you come in.” Mom threw the sheets into the washer in the hall closet and gestured for Izzy to proceed. They stepped back into the kitchen, and Mom busied herself with the supplies on the counter. “How have you been? How are things at the studio?”
Chasing Dreams_A Small Town Single Dad Romance Page 15
