Fate

by Wylder, Tia

  “Boys!” Mom snapped. She sniffed. “Please! Jack wouldn’t want you to be fighting.”

  “Jack doesn’t give a shit,” Damien snarled. “And you don’t get to tell me about my own goddamned father, you hear me?” He got to his feet and stormed off, his feet stomping loudly on the tile floor.

  “Fucker,” Derek said, shaking his head angrily. “I can’t fucking believe him. He’s the scum of the earth – he shouldn’t even be alive!”

  I stared at him. “Really, Derek?”

  Derek’s gaze met my own. “Yes, Emma,” he said sarcastically. “What, you’re suddenly an expert on my brother and me? Please,” he scoffed. “Stay out of this.”

  “Emma, please,” Mom said. “Don’t encourage him.”

  “I didn’t do anything,” I said hotly, getting to my feet and putting my hands on my hips. “It’s not my fault that Jack had a heart attack. And guess what, Derek? It’s not Mom’s fault, either. And it’s not Damien’s, and it’s not yours! Things happen sometimes!”

  “Things?” Derek looked at me incredulously. “Things? Emma, I’m not a little kid,” he said. “I’m a hell of a lot better than my brother, and you know it. I don’t even know why Damien bothered showing up – he doesn’t give a shit about our father or our family life!”

  I narrowed my eyes and glared. “Derek, shut up,” I said firmly.

  “Damien’s a cad, and an asshole,” Derek continued. “He’s lucky I don’t beat the shit out of him.”

  “Derek, enough!” I snapped. “You need to shut the heck up, okay? Damien’s a good man. He tries to be a good man! He’s not perfect like you, and you know how much he resents you for that?”

  Derek stared at me, clearly shocked.

  My mom cocked her head to the side and looked at me. “Emma, are you feeling all right?”

  Tears came to my eyes, and I crossed my arms over my chest. “No,” I said. “I’m not all right. I’m sick of everyone treating Damien like crap just because he acts out!”

  “He’s not a little kid,” Derek said pointedly. “He’s a man, who makes terrible decisions, and that isn’t my issue.”

  “Well, stop beating him up about it,” I said sharply. “He’s your brother! You should love him!”

  Derek looked like I’d slapped him across the face.

  “That’s enough,” he said sourly. “I’m going to see the doctor.”

  Derek sauntered out of the room. When I was left alone with Mom, she gave me another funny look.

  “Honey, are you sure you’re okay?” She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve…well, you’ve never really had anything good to say about Damien before, you do realize that, don’t you?”

  I sniffed. Tears came to my eyes for the first time, and I blinked them away.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “This is just very stressful, and I don’t think Derek was being very fair to his brother.”

  My mom sighed. “Honey, it’s not really your business to get between them,” she said softly. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me, too.” She sighed and shuddered as fresh tears appeared in her eyes. “I just can’t deal with this on my own!”

  I stood up. My legs felt like jelly as I walked across the room and sat down with Mom, rubbing her shoulder.

  “I know, Mom,” I said. “But I promise, everything will be okay.”

  Mom sighed. She rested her head on my shoulder. “You know I hate to burden you, sweetheart,” she said. “But this is all so much. I had no idea Jack was anything other than healthy as a horse! He plays racquetball every week!”

  “I know,” I said. “But he’s under too much stress.” I swallowed, trying to think optimistically. “You know, maybe after this, he’ll finally listen to you about taking on a smaller role at work,” I said. “That would be for the best, wouldn’t it?”

  “Oh, honey,” Mom said. She sighed again as she put her arm around me and pulled me close. “You’re all I have in the world, don’t you know that?”

  I bit my lip, feeling guilty. I wanted to run after Damien – I wanted to find him and comfort him, tell him that I thought he was more than a loser and a cad.

  But I knew I couldn’t leave Mom, at least not yet.

  It felt like a century passed before Derek reappeared with a nurse in tow. He looked grim, but not hopeless.

  “Mrs. Wilson?” The nurse greeted my mother. “May I have a word with you?”

  My mom gestured to me. “This is my daughter, Emma,” she said. “You can say anything to me in front of her.”

  The nurse nodded. “Your husband has suffered cardiac arrest, but he should recover completely,” she said softly. “And while I don’t want to be too optimistic, the doctors and I think that everything will be fine.”

  My mom started sobbing again. She buried her face in my neck.

  “I’m sorry,” I said to the nurse, who looked startled. “She’s just happy. She’s…very emotional.”

  “Sorry,” Mom wailed, sitting up and blowing her nose with the same damp tissue. “I’m just relieved.”

  The nurse smiled. “Good,” she said. “I’ll come back in a little while, and you can see him, would you like that?”

  Mom nodded wordlessly. “Thank god,” she murmured after the nurse had trotted down the hall and left us alone. “I can’t believe he’s okay.”

  I took Mom’s hand in mine and squeezed. “Everything’ll be okay,” I said. “I promise.”

  I sighed, wishing more than ever that Damien would come back. Instead, I turned to Derek.

  “Derek, I’m really sorry I lost my temper,” I said softly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

  Derek shrugged. “I’m sorry, too,” he said. By the sad look in his eyes, I could tell that he really meant it. “Emma, please forgive me.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, ready to forget the mess. “Good news, yeah?”

  Derek nodded. He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe Dad will finally listen to me about stepping back from some of his duties,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get him to give me more responsibility at Empire for years now.”

  “Please,” Mom begged. “Please don’t let this happen again, Derek,” she said softly. “I love your father very much – I don’t want him to kill himself.”

  “I know,” Derek said. He sighed. An intense note of sadness was in his dark eyes. Suddenly, I understood. Derek felt guilty – he felt like he was responsible for Jack’s heart attack.

  “It’s not your fault,” I said, quietly, reaching for Derek’s hand.

  He looked into my eyes and a shiver ran down my spine.

  “I know,” Derek said. He sighed loudly. “I just…I wish I could internalize that.”

  I gave him a small, hopeful smile. “It’ll be okay,” I said softly. “Your dad will make a complete recovery, and then you and my mom can make sure he doesn’t strain himself too much in the future.”

  Derek nodded. He still looked as intense as ever. “I hope so,” he said quietly. “I really do, Emma.”

  I stayed at the hospital for another hour, until Mom and Derek were allowed in to see Jack. He seemed awake – even irritated that he was held down by tires and tubes – but weak, and I waved as I walked past his room.

  I felt a little guilty leaving the hospital, but I knew I had to find Damien.

  But when I drove by the house, Damien wasn’t there. He wasn’t at his condo, either. And he wasn’t in any of the small bars around town. When I called, his phone went straight to voicemail.

  I have to find him, I thought as I drove anxiously around. I felt it now, stronger than ever before – Damien’s pull on me, like the pull of the earth by the sun.

  I didn’t care what happened to Jack. All I knew was that I was falling in love with Damien.

  Chapter Seven

  I’d been driving around for an hour when I remembered the yacht club. Speeding to the other side of town, I drove until the fresh scent of ocean air filled my nostrils. The Queen of Sails was docked, but there was no sign of
Damien. Instead, I ran down the hill to the shore. The ocean roared in my ears, and I glanced around, looking for Damien’s muscular figure.

  Then I saw him. Sitting on the shore, right by the ocean, with his toes in the surf.

  “Damien!” I yelled, trying to make myself heard over the screech of gulls and the roar of the ocean. “Damien, it’s Emma!”

  I ran towards him, breathing hard as my sandals sunk into the soft sand. Groaning, I stopped and yanked them off my feet, then ran all the way down to the waterline. Damien was sitting with his knees up and his muscular arms wrapped around them, looking pensive.

  “He’s stable,” I said breathlessly, lowering myself down to the wet sand. “He’ll be okay. Mom and Derek are back at the hospital with him now.”

  Damien nodded. He narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. “How did you find me?”

  I flushed. “I…I remembered something about how you said the water was your happy place,” I said softly. “Remember? When we were out on the Queen of Sails?”

  Damien nodded again. “Thanks for telling me, Emma,” he said in a low voice. Damien got to his feet and brushed the sand from his designer jeans. “Come on, take a walk with me,” he said. He stuck his arm out, waiting for me to take his hand.

  After a second, I did. Damien pulled me to my feet with muscular ease, and we started walking down the empty beach. Instead of letting go of my hand, Damien twined his fingers with mine and squeezed.

  “I know it sounds like I’m complaining about nothing,” Damien said slowly. “But I wasn’t a very happy kid growing up. It sounds so selfish and arrogant – Dad was so rich, we never wanted for anything.”

  I frowned. “What was it, then? Did you want a family?”

  Damien shook his head. “No,” he said, almost too low for me to hear. “It wasn’t that.” He sighed and raked a hand through his dark hair. “Dad always liked Derek better.”

  I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t really relate to that – I’ve obviously always been an only child. I know Mom wanted to have other kids, but then she didn’t meet Jack until I was in my teens, and she said the gap would be too big.”

  Damien laughed bitterly. “You’re better off, trust me,” he said, shaking his head. “I’d kill to have been an only child.”

  “It must be tough having a twin,” I said softly, stepping closer to Damien. I squeezed his hand, stroking my thumb across the back. His skin was so soft – just touching him made me happy.

  “I don’t think it would be any different if he’d been older or younger,” Damien said. He shook his head. “It’s just fucked up, Emma. Dad always liked Derek more, even before I was a total shithead. It started back when we were kids. I don’t know – maybe Derek is just nicer, or he’s a better son.”

  I bit my lip, feeling awkward. “Maybe he’s…easier,” I said. “Maybe your father wanted someone malleable. Someone he could shape into a younger version of himself.”

  Damien stopped abruptly in his tracks and looked at me. He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes as if seeing me for the first time.

  “You think?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. I flushed. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know Jack all that well. He’s never home, and when he is, Mom is all over him. She really loves him.”

  “I know.” Damien sighed. “I’m sorry I gave her so much shit when she and my dad first got together. It was just easy to think she was a gold-digger. But I know she’s not.” He sighed. “If anything, she doesn’t want Dad blowing all of his money…which is probably a good thing.”

  I nodded. “I think she’s good for him. She really wants him to work less, and she thinks that maybe now, after this, he’ll listen to her and he won’t take her for granted.”

  Damien was silent. The crashing waves roared in my ears, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the soothing, repetitive sound.

  “I just…I feel so bitter and angry sometimes,” Damien said. He closed his eyes and shook his head, suppressing a sigh. “I never did anything wrong, but Derek was always the golden one. He never got in trouble, he’d just blame it on me. I don’t know if Dad always believed him, but maybe you’re right – maybe it was easier to just paint me as the bad kid.”

  “I can’t believe you were really that awful,” I said softly. “I mean, it doesn’t make sense. You’re not a bad person, Damien.”

  Damien raised a brow at me and smirked. “I’m not bad, I just look that way?” He laughed humorlessly. “Emma, you can’t try to fix me. Many things are wrong…many things that you don’t even know about.”

  I bit my lip. “I want to know,” I said softly. “I want to know about everything that makes you who you are,” I added. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to pry.”

  Damien sighed. “Look, there was this time, years ago, I think I was maybe seven years old. And it was the science fair at school, you remember that?”

  I nodded.

  “I was so jazzed about it,” Damien said bitterly. “Derek didn’t care – he knew from the womb that he wanted to be a businessman, just like our old man. And I spent every free moment I had working on my stupid project. Well, I won a prize – Derek didn’t even participate. And you know what?”

  “What?” I asked softly, dreading the answer.

  “Dad was proud of Derek for opting out,” Damien spat. “He didn’t give a fuck about the fact that I’d won something, he told me it didn’t matter.”

  “Oh, Damien,” I said softly, reaching up to touch his face. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “Yeah,” Damien said, shaking his head. “Well, it’s all water under the bridge now.”

  I bit my lip. "I feel like such an idiot," I said. “I really had no idea. I thought Jack loved both of you equally.”

  Damien snorted. “Emma, look – let me give you a piece of advice that everyone knows, but no one talks about.”

  I frowned and cocked my head to the side. “What?”

  Damien sighed. “Everyone has a favorite kid,” he said. “You’re just lucky you were an only child.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” I said slowly. “My best friend, Amy, has a sister. And they’re really close.”

  Damien laughed bitterly. “I bet they are now, but how was it growing up?”

  I sighed and turned to face the water. Waves were crashing down hard on the beach. Most of the time, staring at the water made me feel peaceful and relaxed. But this time, staring at the ocean made me feel restless, almost resentful. I felt so bad for Damien, but even worse, I felt so stupid for not seeing it sooner. I’d always thought Jack was the perfect father, and that Damien was just a no-good rebel.

  But now, I was starting to think differently. It made me wonder – did Derek know this, too? Had he guessed? Or like me, he was blinded by Jack’s charm and money, Jack’s ability to make himself seem like the only man in the room no matter where he was.

  “Don’t worry about it, Emma,” Damien said. “This isn’t your problem.”

  I reached for his hand and squeezed. “It is my problem,” I said softly. “I’m involved with you. I care about you, Damien.”

  Damien didn’t reply. I thought back to his words that other day – that he liked me, that he felt he couldn’t stay away from me, but that he didn’t “do” relationships. It bothered me. Was Damien trying to manipulate me into a casual relationship?

  Or had this – whatever it was, exactly – morphed into something so crazy and powerful that neither of us could stop it?

  “I think it’s why I’ve never had much of interest in Empire Mesa,” Damien said. He reached down and grabbed a handful of broken seashells, tossing them into the waves. “I knew that no matter what I did, Dad still wouldn’t like me very much. So I guess it didn’t really matter.”

  I frowned. “Oh, Damien,” I said softly. “I can’t imagine what going through that would be like.”

  Damien shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter,” he sai
d darkly. “I don’t feel like talking about this anymore.” He shielded his eyes and stared into the ocean for what felt like a very long time.

  “Do you want to take a walk?” I asked.

  “Sure,” Damien said. “You said my father was stable, right?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m sure he doesn’t even want me there,” Damien said darkly. He turned in the sand and began leading the way down the beach.

  “I don’t think that’s true,” I said. “I know your dad really loves you.”