Fate

by Wylder, Tia

  Chapter Eight

  It was only due to sheer exhaustion that Lily managed to get any sleep that night. She sat down on the bed to rest a moment and fell asleep before she even took off her clothes.

  When she woke, having slept soundly for only a few hours, she was in physical pain from sleeping in the corset, and her spirit was in pain as she remembered what had happened with Will. Her heart thrilled when she recalled him helping her with her corset at the ball, how he managed to be at once utterly rakish and perfectly gallant was beyond her! And then when they'd gotten home--! Lily sat up in bed, feeling the heat rekindle between her legs when she thought of him taking her in the foyer like that, and the pleasure he had made her feel, she never knew it was possible to feel this way, she never really even believed that love existed, but Lily had a feeling in her breast when she thought of Will, and she could not name it or even describe it, but it was bittersweetly pleasant.

  Was this love?

  No! NO! A thousand times no! She could not marry Will, she must marry Lord Blackwood to get her daughter back! She could not fall in love with Will... all he did was show her carnal pleasure, he was a cad, a ne'er-do-well, he was rude and arrogant and mean and he did not love her, he was only using her the way he used Minnie and the pretty scullery maid, but... but... he had those occasional moments of tenderness....

  “NO!” Lily said aloud, hopping to her feet and stamping her foot. She marched over to the mirror and stared herself in the eyes. “I will not fall in love with that boy,” she said severely. “Look how pale you are, look how thin, you look half-dead... is this what you want for Rosie! For if you do not marry Lord Blackwood you condemn Rosie to a life of hunger and hardship, pull yourself together!”

  Lily huffed and went to the basin and splashed her face with water. The water helped calm her a little, but she was still feeling quite warm about Will, so she readied herself to go out. She needed to see Rosie to strengthen her resolve to marry Lord Blackwood at all costs. She changed clothes and put on her sturdiest shoes. It was still quite early in the morning so there were few about to see her go. She went out to the stable and chose a horse and began the hour-long ride into London to the charity home, Sainte Vierge, where she knew Rosie lived.

  There was a light drizzle falling when she arrived, but the children were out in the yard to take their morning exercise. Lily held her breath, scanning the yard for Rosie, was she there? Was she alive and well? Had she contracted some wretched illness and died before Lily could save her?

  Her heart leapt when she realized that Rosie was one of the ones chasing a hoop with a stick, it had only been so long since Lily had seen her that she barely recognized her. Rosie's pale brown hair was long and neatly braided, she had grown quite a bit, her complexion looked a bit pale and she was on the reedy side for a child her age, but she was screaming and laughing with the other children. Lily knew that the charity home was poor and she felt awful that the children weren't getting enough to eat, but they also seemed to be happy enough as they ran and played.

  From across the way Lily watched, tears streaming down her face, and lost in her thoughts until someone grabbed her shoulder.

  “Will!” she gasped, horrified, did he know?

  “A bit early for a ride through town, don't you think?” he teased.

  “I--... I was restless,” Lily said stiffly, blushing and looking away. Just being in his proximity was enough to make her tremble. “And you? What are you doing out here?”

  Will's lips curled in a secretive smile. “I, too, was restless,” he said. “And feeling a bit under the weather from last night's excesses.”

  “Hmm,” Lily agreed with a nod. Her head ached, too, although she was unsure whether from too much punch, or from heartache over Rosie.

  “Hair of the dog, then?” Will grabbed Lily's hand and started walking. “Come with me.”

  “Will!” Lily craned her neck over her shoulder to catch one last glimpse of Rosie. The children were being herded inside out of the rain, anyway, so she sighed and relented to Will's tug.

  He took Lily back to her horse and they mounted together, riding a ways uptown to a pub. Even in the middle of the day, the pub was bustling with activity, and as Will escorted Lily inside, she was surprised to see both upper and middle class mingling. He lead her through the front and into a room in the back, which was packed to the rafters with men hollering around... a boxing ring.

  “Will!” Lily exclaimed, “What in heavens do you think you're doing?” She gripped his arm.

  “Boxing,” he said simply, removing his jacket, which he handed to Lily. “It is a very fashionable sport and a chum of mine has challenged me to a match.” He finished unbuttoning his shirt and handed that to her as well, leaving Lily scarlet-faced at his nakedness, her stomach fluttering and heart pounding as the match ended. “Wish me luck,” he said, kissing her on the cheek before he slipped off into the crowd to find his friend.

  Lily clutched his clothes and stood against the wall, watching in breathless anticipation as the ring was cleared for the next match. She frowned at the bloodstains on the floor, and was suddenly keenly aware that she was the only woman in the room. Eyes were drawn to her constantly, some stared outright, and Lily felt quite vulnerable and naked. She hoped that this would be over soon so she could get home, if Lord Blackwood smelled the alcohol and smoke on her he would be furious--!

  All thoughts of Lord Blackwood evaporated as Will stepped into the ring with a man several inches taller and likely forty pounds heavier than he. Will was no ponce, but he was certainly on the slender side, whereas his opponent had the build of a field hand. Lily buried her face in Will's jacket as the fight commenced, wincing as the bigger man assailed Will with a flurry of side-hooks. Will dodged neatly, taking one to the chin, and managed to land a few jabs, but he may as well have been tickling the other man with a feather for all the good it did him. Will lunged and tried to take his opponent down by the waist, but the man stopped him with two meaty hands on his shoulders and gave him a shove. Will staggered backwards and sprawled against the ropes, and Lily knew the fight was lost. The crowd knew too, had known since it started, that this would be a one-sided match, and they barely made any noise as Will was handily defeated. Lily could hardly watch as the bigger man bloodied Will's face and then threw him to the ground, and, just for good measure, sat on top of him until the bell rang.

  Will got up with less than his usual sprightliness, shook hands with his opponent, then weaved his way through the crowd back to Lily, limping and wincing. Lily hurriedly fished out her handkerchief and dabbed at Will's bloody nose.

  “You great idiot!” she cried, “That was no sport, that... that was a beating.”

  “I deserved it,” Will said with a shrug, but shrugging made him grunt and double over in pain.

  “Will!” Lily gasped, “Oh, dear... you must get to a doctor!” She took his hand and made for the door.

  “No, no, no,” he grumbled, taking the handkerchief from her to stem the blood flow from his nose, “it's nothing, just a few cuts and bumps... and perhaps a cracked rib.”

  Lily frowned and helped him back into his shirt, confused by the rush of desire as she buttoned it for him, she knew she should be angry and disgusted with him, but, truth be told, there was also something rather exhilarating about it all, and though she hated to see Will in pain, she relished these moments of closeness as she helped him tend his wounds.

  She carried his jacket for him as they went back out to the front room. Will could not stand upright for the pain and Lily guided him to sit on a barstool.

  “You stupid boy!” she spat, handing him a glass of beer, “You knew exactly what was going to happen, didn't you?”

  Will nodded and chuckled, but chuckling made him double over and clutch at his abdomen.

  “Then why did you do it!” Lily demanded. When Will set the beer down she picked it up and took a long draught herself, earning a quizzical look from her companion.

&nbs
p; “I... I may have, er... had a liaison, that is, with his sister... who is engaged to an earl.” Rather than contrite, Will looked deeply amused. He reached with a trembling hand into his jacket and retrieved his cigarette case, and was further shocked when Lillian snatched the case from him and took a cigarette for herself. She let him light it for her and pinched the bridge of her nose with a long-suffering sigh.

  “You are full of surprises,” Will remarked, laughing, but the laugh dissolved into a sort of choking cough and he nearly fell off the stool but for Lily's catching and steadying him.

  “Be careful,” she admonished, “I shall be in trouble enough with your father without you dying in my company as well.”

  “Bah. He'd not care a whit if I died,” Will mumbled, sipping his beer. “Where'd you learn to smoke like that, a pure little thing like you? I'm surprised you know which end goes in your mouth.”

  Lily sucked in her cheeks and straightened up on her seat. She looked away and took a thoughtful drag off the cigarette before looking back at Will. For some reason, before she could stop it, she started to tell him everything. She didn't know why, for Will was about as trustworthy as a moneylender in her eyes, but the words just... came out.

  “My parents died when I was fifteen,” she said. “My family is noble, you see, but my mother's brother machinated to take over their estate. He inherited everything while I was not left a penny. I was cast out of my home and out of society... ever since I have been forced to earn a living on the streets. Like as not, I've spent more time in seedy pubs than even you have, Will Blackwood.”

  Will was leaning against the bar for support, staring at Lily with an open mouth. “That's why you're marrying my father,” he murmured.

  “Er... yes,” Lily said hesitantly. Truth be told, she wouldn't bother marrying anyone if it weren't for Rosie. Better to be independent and hungry than fat and under some great, rich oaf's thumb!

  “There has to be another way,” Will said with a shake of his head, “surely--”

  “No!” Lily cut him off. He couldn't know about Rosie, not yet, and if he asked any more questions she might be forced to lie to him. “I have tried everything I know of, Lord Blackwood is the only so-called eligible bachelor that will have me in my disgrace.” Lily bit her lip, running her fingertip around the rim of the glass, lost in thought. Will interrupted her reverie by taking her hand and kissing it, apparently undeterred from being a womanizer even when badly injured!

  “Speaking of Lord Blackwood, we must be getting home,” Lily said stiffly. She drained her glass, extinguished her cigarette, and slipped off the barstool. Will followed suit, albeit much more slowly, and now that the pain had really set in, he had to lean on Lily as they exited, could not mount the horse, and so they had to call a carriage. They rode home in relative silence, Lily occasionally wiping a bit of blood from Will's face, feeling strange and sad. Her heart ached with thoughts of Rosie and while she never liked Lord Blackwood to begin with, returning to him now seemed more repulsive than ever because of Will.

  He fell asleep on her shoulder during the ride home and Lily stole for herself a moment of tenderness, caressing his hair and admiring his handsome face. He looked so innocent when he slept! All the anger and defensiveness and mischief fell away and his features relaxed into angelic repose. Will was an irresponsible drunk, and a lech, and apparently also a brawler, but he made Lily feel things she had only ever dreamed about, and when he wanted to be, Will was almost downright kind. He was an infuriating man but also a beguiling one, and Lily did not know how she would survive living under the same roof with him while being married to his father.

  Chapter Nine

  “WHERE WERE YOU THIS AFTERNOON?!”

  Lord Blackwood was sodden drunk. It was after dinner and Lily had thought he was passed out again, so she went upstairs to try to get some rest, but no sooner had she taken off her dress than he burst into her room, reeking and swaying on his feet.

  “N-n-nowhere, m'lord,” she squeaked, shrinking as Blackwood advanced on her.

  “Nowhere?!” he demanded, “Nowhere they serve alcohol and smoke tobacco, to be sure.” He bore his teeth at her in a hideous snarl. “I am no fool, Lillian Monroe, and you had best mind yourself if you want this engagement to culminate in marriage. You will tell me, harlot, where you were!”

  “Nowhere,” Lily whispered, because she could not think of a proper lie, but neither could she say where she had been, and she clamped her eyes shut and struggled as Lord Blackwood grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her to the wall. Lily whimpered, his odor overwhelmed her and his grip was far too tight, it hurt, and she was beginning to feel afraid.

  “WHOOORE!” Blackwood screamed right in her face, Lily broke and started crying. “Why are you crying, you worthless little snipe!” Blackwood let her arms go and slapped her face, then shoved her down on the bed as she wept. “I'll give you plenty reason to weep--” Blackwood started to say, unfastening his trousers, when the door burst open and Will barged in, and upon seeing his great brute of a father towering over the frail young woman, he charged and shoved his father away from the bed. The two grappled as Lily watched in horror, Lord Blackwood was much heavier than Will but also drunk and out of shape, whereas Will was slim but agile and, if he had been drinking, he was less sodden than his father. He wrestled Lord Blackwood to the ground and pulled a knife from his breeches.

  “I'll kill you,” Will snarled, “if you ever so much as lay a hand on her again, I'll murder you in cold blood, like you did my mother.”

  “LIAR!” Blackwood bellowed, “Get out of my house! Before I call a constable!”

  Will sprang to his feet and grabbed Lily's hand. “Come with me,” he said to her, his eyes pleading, “come away from this violent old bastard, Miss Monroe, I love you--”

  “No!” Lily cracked, and began sobbing into her hands, her sobs escalating to wails, for she would have loved nothing more in the world than to run away with Will, but then... then she should never see Rosie again. “I-- I cannot! I must... for her...” Lily uncovered her eyes just in time to see the stricken look of heartbreak steal over Will's face. He sighed and hung his head.

  “Get out of my house!” Lord Blackwood barked again as he regained his feet, staggering toward Will, “I'll kill you myself!”

  “Goodbye, Lily,” Will said sadly, and he left the room with his head hung low, shoulders sagging in defeat.

  “Whore!” Blackwood spat at Lily again, advancing on her nearly-naked form on the bed. She wept openly as he climbed on top of her, uttering oaths and roughing her up. “Now where were we...?”

  Chapter Ten

  Lily rose the next morning in pain. Lord Blackwood had handled her quite roughly, leaving bumps and bruises all over her body, and he took her roughly too so that it hurt between her legs, but worse than any of her bodily hurts was the hurt in her heart. She could not stop thinking of how wounded Will looked last night, and of how desperately she wished she could have joined him!

  Minnie came up eventually to fetch her for breakfast. Once she was cleaned up and dressed, Minnie escorted her downstairs, as Lily was having a hard time moving this morning and benefited from a steadying arm as she descended the stairs and made her way to the dining room.

  There she found Blackwood engaged with Old George. The manservant quickly scurried from the room upon seeing Lily. She sat down silently, staring at her plate.

  “You'll say good morning to your husband,” Blackwood growled. Lily said nothing. He slammed his fist on the table. “Good morning!”

  “Good morning,” Lily whispered.

  “This is not the behavior of a loving wife,” Blackwood mumbled, “you had best find your tongue, girlie, I have sent Old George to arrange for us to be married tomorrow.”

  Lily's voice deserted her. She hung her head and tried to choke back her tears, but one slipped down her face and landed in her porridge.

  “You have no reason to cry!” Blackwood got up from his seat and storme
d over to her. He pulled Lily's chair away from the table while she sat in it, then leaned forward with his hands on the arms of the chair. “You disgusting little bitch! You should be grateful I'm willing to marry you, with your soiled loins and ruined reputation!” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Stop crying!” He straightened and stood back, but Lily would not look him in the eye, so he slapped her. She yelped, and put a hand over her stinging cheek.

  “How could you...?” she whispered, “I shall cooperate with you, Lord Blackwood, if you promise to control your temper. I cannot have my daughter subjected to such barbary--”

  “Your daughter! Hah!” Blackwood crossed his arms and sneered. “I have no intention of bringing some bastard little gutter rat to live in my house. My home is for my children--”

  Blackwood's tirade was interrupted as Lily leapt to her feet and ran from the room. Blackwood tried to follow, huffing and swearing, but Lily was young and light on her feet, and Blackwood was fat and many years' tobacco smoke in his lungs, so she made a clean escape.

  It was quite cold and raining as Lily sprinted to the stables. She mounted her horse and set out for the city at a gallop. All she wanted was to see Will, to tell him everything, and she thought she knew exactly where to find him.

  By the time she reached the pub where he had boxed the day before, Lily was soaked through and shivering. Her pale pink gown clung to her, and the voluminous skirts were shrunk, making her look even smaller than usual. She entered the pub to a chorus of jeers and whistles, and she implored the bartender to tell where Will Blackwood was. He said that he had rented a room the night before and hadn't left since, which was unusual for the man.

  Lily raced upstairs and hammered on the locked door. There was no answer. She pounded her little fist on the door again, this time saying, “Will Blackwood I know you're in there! Open up!”