A Fighting Chance

by Annalisa Nicole

  I quickly get myself back on task and tackle Ireland to the ground like I would any three hundred pound man. In that instant, I also realize that my lifestyle is no place for Chloe. I can’t have what I do affect the woman I love. The cold, dark, removed man that I was before Chloe walked into my life quickly invades my soul like smoke in a burning building. It’s toxic and smothers every good feeling Chloe was able to put in my heart. I know what I have to do. I need to end our relationship before it goes any further. I have to sacrifice what I love most to keep her safe.

  I give her the silent treatment the rest of the party. Chloe is always understanding of my moods and leaves me alone to work out my shit when I’m in a funk. She knows never to take them personally. I know I’ll never find another woman who will put up with my shit. Ava ended up taking her home. I know I’m an ass and people probably thought I should have been more concerned about the black eye that was quickly forming on her face, but I was though, I was so fucking concerned. I was fucking mad as hell that I had put her in this predicament in the first place. I know what I have to do.

  Later that night with a heavy heart, I go to her condo and I knock on the door. When I see her black swollen eye, I know I’m making the right decision.

  “How’s your eye?’ I ask. I see the hurt in her eyes and I know I’m the one who put that there. I also know that that hurts a million more times than the black eye itself.

  “Its fine, how are you?” she asks.

  “I came here to make sure you’re alright, but I also came here to do the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I can’t see you anymore. I’m truly sorry.” That’s all I say to her. I don’t need to give her a reason. I don’t want to give her a reason. I don’t want to give her a reason to fight with me about it. I know what I’m doing is best for her and I know she’ll be upset, but I also know that she has the love and support of her family and the best family around, the Wellingtons, to see her through.

  I wait in my truck down the street. I know Ava will rally the troops. And she doesn’t disappoint. They all show up with beer and wine followed by a pizza delivery man shortly after that.

  I waited there all night. I even slept in my truck. It’s something I’m used to in my line of work. I know I have to tell at least one of the Wellingtons the real reason why I had to break up with her. I don’t have the balls to tell Asher face to face, I know he’ll be pissed with me. But I also know these people, and I know they would do the exact same thing. Asher, Kyle and Adrian would walk through fire and go to the ends of the earth for their women to keep them happy, healthy, and safe.

  I dial Adrian’s number and I know he’ll be angry when he answers.

  “Yo, what the fuck dude?” he answers.

  “Look I just wanted to check in on her and make sure she’s alright,” I say quickly. I know I don’t have much time to convince him to talk to me. I see him walk out onto the porch as he continues to talk into the phone.

  “If Ava finds out I’m even talking to you, she’ll have my ass,” he says and starts to hang up.

  “No, wait. Don’t hang up.”

  He looks around no doubt he’s confused how I knew he was going to hang up on me. He spots me in my truck down the street.

  “Yeah, that’s me. I saw you guys all came over last night. I knew Ava would rally the troops. Look, is she doing alright?” I ask him.

  “No, she’s not doing alright. How the fuck did you think she would be after you just dump her out of the blue without any reason? What the fuck is wrong with you?” he barks.

  “I wanted to explain myself to you. I can’t have all of you thinking I’m a royal douche bag. When Ireland grabbed Chloe, my heart stopped. For the first time in my career, I hesitated. I wanted to stop what I needed to do and go to her. I could have really put her life in danger. I can’t have that. I won’t have Chloe dragged into my career and put her in harm’s way. That’s the last thing I want, man. My life is complicated with surveillance and stake outs. I run with a heavy crowd, man. I can’t have that bleed through to her. I love her too much. She’s already been through some heavy shit. She doesn’t need to deal with mine, too. I want to ask you to keep an eye on her for me. I’ll be around. I’ll always have her back and keep her safe. I just can’t be with her, too. Do you understand me, man?”

  “I guess I do. I understand your need to protect her. I think it’s fucked up though. I don’t see a problem in doing that and still being with her. But, know this, she’s a part of this family now, we all have her back, too.”

  “That’s all I can ask of you. Thanks, man.”

  I see Shay walk out of the house just as he hangs up on me. I start my truck and peel out leaving smoke in my wake.

  Chapter 2

  Chloe

  When Max came to my door, I thought he was just done with his mood and we’d move on like normal. I don’t pretend to know what his life was like growing up, and I know he deals with heavy shit in his line of work. I give him his space to work out whatever it is he needs to work out and let him come back to me with a clear head. It’s just how things work. He knows I’m here for him if he needs me. I’ve never feared Max or his moods, and I know he’d never lay a finger on me or hurt me in any way. When I opened the door and saw the look in his eyes, I knew that whatever had him torn up inside was far from over. I never expected him to come back to me only to have him break up with me.

  I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t. I was too stunned. I had come to rely on Max to always be there for me. He helped me work though some major shit, and I took for granted his love and support. I never saw this coming. I let him say what he had to say, and I didn’t have one word in response. I stood there blinking like an idiot. I watched him walk away. I let the one man who truly understood me, who loved me unconditionally even with my heavy baggage, just walk away, without a word.

  Ava walks out of her room on her way toward the kitchen and passes by me in slow motion.

  “Earth to Chloe,” she says. She takes one look at my face, grabs me by the arm, pulls me out of the open doorway, closes the door, and sits me in a chair in the family room. As soon as my ass hits the cushion, I start balling. I screech at the top of my lungs, “Max just broke up with me!”

  “What do you mean he just broke up with you? He was here? When was he here? What did he say?” she asks completely lost.

  I can’t even speak coherently through my sobs. My world is crashing all around me. I’ve created this safe little bubble that I have naively been living in. Between my therapy sessions, work, my time with Max and the Wellington family, I really haven’t had time on my own to sit and be still. Without Max, there will be a big chunk in my life missing. It will open up time for my nightmares to live during the day again.

  Ava tries to get me to stop crying, but once the damn broke I couldn’t stop it. Just as suddenly as I started, I stop crying. I shoot out of the chair and turn on some music and put it on repeat. As ‘Somebody That I Used to Know’ by Gotye fills my head, I sit back down in a calm trance like state.

  The Wellington family siblings and their significant others walk in like a pack of wolves protecting their young, carrying arm loads of booze.

  “What are all of you doing here?” I ask hiccoughing.

  “When one of us is hurt, sweetheart, this is what we do, we’re all here for one another,” Willow says.

  “First things first, this shit is coming off,” Amelia says. She stops the sad song on repeat and plugs in her phone and cues up some music. Next thing I hear is ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams. I’m not in the mood for happy shit.

  “Up you go,” Aiden says. He grabs me by the hands and pulls me out of my seat. He starts waiving his hands around above his head like an idiot and I can’t help but laugh at him. Damn it! I don’t want to laugh right now! Everyone starts singing the song at the top of their lungs when the doorbell rings. Oh God, it’s Max. He’s already ripped my heart out. I don’t know what else he could take from me.<
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  “It’s OK. I’m sure it’s just the pizza delivery man. Asher and I called it in on the way here, I’ll get it,” Willow says and turns up the music on her way to the door.

  I couldn’t help myself with this bunch. I laughed until I snorted. Between singing and dancing, a game of twister, and the alcohol, I was actually having a good time. But, after the pizza and alcohol had been consumed and people started getting tired and passed out all over the house, it started to get quiet so I went back to my room. Max and I, believe it or not have not slept together yet. Well, we sleep together, as in cuddle with each other and fall asleep. But, not as in having sex. From the beginning, Max let me keep us dating a secret until I was ready to tell everyone, but he wouldn’t budge on having sex. He said he would know when I was ready. I had mixed feelings about that. I wanted to have sex with Max, and he’s a man for crying out loud! You know it had to have killed him to sleep in the same bed with me, but not have sex with me. Although I was dealing with a lot of crap, I was thankful to not have that pressure. I was starting to feel a little sexually frustrated though, and I think he was about to lift the ban on sex, but he broke up with me instead.

  When I crawl into bed, deafening silence fills the room. I hadn’t really been alone at all, ever since I was rescued. I know I’m not technically alone right now. I have a house full of people. But, here in my room by myself with the silence, in the dark, my mind starts to play out in vivid color the attack and the kidnapping. That man’s eyes and the gun that I fired that took my kidnappers life rings out in my ears. It plays over and over again like a bad movie. I start to break out in a cold sweat and beg for it to stop.

  I didn’t get any sleep that night. To make matters worse, someone is in the hall bathroom getting it on. I get in my own shower and strip out of my wet, sweat drenched clothes. I have a long shift at the hospital today and without any sleep last night, I’m going to need a caffeine drip to make it through the day. I don’t know how I’m going to explain a black eye either. At least I can keep myself busy at work. The busier I am, the less my mind will have time for my demons to consume my every thought.

  Everyone is gathered at the table drinking coffee, except Adrian. I fill up the biggest mug I can find and take a seat with every eye following my every move. I hate the looks of sympathy and pity they’re all giving me.

  “Has anyone seen Adrian this morning?” Shay asks.

  “I think he took a phone call outside, he kicked me on the floor on his way out,” Aiden says.

  Shay gets up from the table and goes to find Adrian. I continue to drink my coffee with my head down, pretending that as long as I don’t look at anyone, then they don’t see me either. Adrian and Shay come back in the house holding hands. Adrian looks like he’s in a pissed off mood too, I wonder who he was talking to outside.

  “Earth to Adrian,” Shay says, then kisses him on the cheek. She takes a seat in the chair next to him. He smiles at her, and that smile, my word if I could only read what was behind those lips. The look he gives Shay is one that I’m familiar with. Max used to look at me like that all the time. He grabs her arm and pulls her in his lap.

  “My coffee is over there, let me up so I can drink my coffee,” she says pointing at her coffee.

  He leans forward and pulls her coffee cup in front of her and says, “There you go, drink up.” She gives him a smirk, wiggles her ass in his lap and tries to hide her smile in her coffee cup. Extreme jealousy wraps its ugly claws around my heart and digs in deep. Why did Max break up with me? What did I do? What am I going to do? How can I fill that big chunk of time that I used to spend with Max?

  At least I have a brutal day ahead of myself at the hospital. We’ll see if I can tack on a few extra hours there too. I wonder if I should join a gym or something. I need to keep myself busy.

  I was able to tack on an extra couple of hours, and I’m exhausted by the end of my shift. I don’t have anywhere to go either. I’m too tired to even think about going and joining a gym. Between not sleeping last night and work today, I don’t think the gym will ever happen. On my way back to my condo, I pass a bar. I know I shouldn’t. I know drinking isn’t the answer. I long for the numbness that it would bring, but I can’t put my career in jeopardy by drowning my sorrows in alcohol and becoming an alcoholic. It still doesn’t stop my car from pulling into the parking lot though.

  The bar is dark and dingy. It smells like old men and stale beer. That smell stops me in my tracks, and I instantly break out in a sweat. An older, rather plump, and nasty smelling gentleman wearing a wife beater with a mouth full of chew brushes past me in the doorway pulling me out of my frozen trance.

  “In or out young lady, but don’t stand in the doorway,” he barks.

  “S...Sorry,” I mutter. I see one lone seat left at the end of the bar, and I quickly take it before anyone else does. I look around and this place is not a nice place. It’s filled with mostly men. Most of them have their heads bowed searching the bottom of their beer mug, probably looking for a ray of hope left in their sorry existence, or a reason to head home to their loveless marriage.

  A thirty something blonde dressed like a twenty something playboy bunny stands in front of me and places a napkin on the bar.

  “What’ll you have?” she asks with a smile, smacking a piece of gum in her teeth.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Uh, you sure you’re in the right place, honey? Are you supposed to be meeting someone? I think you’re probably looking for the club just up the street,” she says pointing in that direction.

  “No, I’m not,” I say looking around again.

  “Alright then, what’ll ya have?” she asks again.

  What will I have? It’s a simple question. I’m in a bar. What will I have? “Club soda,” I answer, feeling like an idiot.

  “One club soda coming up,” she says and heads back down the bar. She comes back and places my drink on the napkin, but doesn’t leave. She rests her arm on the bar and leans toward me. I look up at her and she smiles at me.

  “My name is Savvy, with two V’s and a Y. If you need anything else you let me know,” she says with a wink.

  “Thanks, I’m good.” With a nod she walks back down the bar refilling beers and making small talk. She leans over the bar and squishes her boobs together giving the men a treat to her well endowed bosom. No doubt she makes good tips. She takes a quick phone call, and then she walks back over and stands in front of me again.

  “Is there something wrong with your drink honey, you haven’t touched it?” she asks.

  “Its fine, thank you,” I answer her.

  “Hey, you’re not “Slick’s” woman by chance are you?” she asks.

  Oh God, I should have known better than to come to a bar like this. Probably everyone in here knows Max. I start to get up but Savvy put’s her hand on mine and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

  Max

  Since starting my own private investigation firm, I’ve had to hire a few other men to work for me. That wasn’t easy considering I don’t trust easily. I was very selective, and I personally trained the two men that now work for me. Levi is young, but he has his head on his shoulders. He’s become my second hand man. Chase is also young, but he’s totally unpredictable, and he’s a total badass that even I wouldn’t want to mess with. Since I broke up with Chloe, either Levi or myself have tailed her everywhere she goes. When I got the call from Levi that Chloe had gone into Deuce’s Bar, my first thought was, what the fuck is she doing in a bar like that? My second thought was to call Savvy.

  Savvy is one woman among many in Seattle that would like nothing more than to get into my pants. I have a strict no local woman policy. Well, until Chloe that is. I will not sleep with any woman living in or visiting Seattle. I haven’t slept with anyone since I started seeing Chloe though. Savvy’s always got her ear to the ground and will pass on any and all local gossip just by smiling at her. Being a good-looking, scantily dressed woman and a bartender,
she’s usually full of useful information for me.

  “Is there a woman there oh, about five-seven, brown hair, milk chocolate eyes, wearing scrubs?” I ask Savvy on the phone.

  “Maybe, what’s it worth to ya?” she asks.

  “Savvy, I’m not in the mood to mess around, is she there or not?” I spit out.

  “Yeah, she’s here,” she whispers.

  “Keep an eye on her will you? I have a tail on her outside the bar, I can’t compromise them though. Can you be my eyes inside the bar?” I ask her.

  “Oh this sounds like fun. Is she a criminal or something?” she asks.

  “No, she’s not a criminal, she’s my girlfr…” I start to say.

  “Oh, this is the famous Chloe Peters is it? Word on the street is you two broke up. Still have it bad for her?” she asks.

  “How in the hell did you hear that? Never mind. Will you keep an eye on her or not?” I ask, getting impatient.

  “Sure thing babe, anything you want,” she says.

  “Just make sure there’s no trouble in the bar. If there is, call Levi’s cell; he’s just across the street,” I tell her and hang up on her.

  Levi called at two in the morning and told me she left with Savvy escorting her to her car. What the fuck is she doing in a bar until two in the fucking morning?

  That next afternoon my cell rings again, but it says ‘Adrian Calling’. I’m instantly hit with fear thinking something is wrong with Chloe.

  “What’s wrong with Chloe? What’s happened?” I frantically say into my phone.

  “There’s nothing wrong with Chloe. It’s Shay, she’s disappeared. Can you run some sort of check and find out where she is or something?” he yells hysterically.