Outside The Ropes

by Ashley Claudy

  Fear spread like wildfire in my stomach. “So your threat to Damien was empty?” I didn’t want to be around when he found out, and thinking of Nan still with him scared me. What if he took it out on her?

  He scooted closer and almost reached for me, but thought better of it. “No. They would still have my back if I called them. It’s complicated, but it’s my family.”

  “So Dexter too?” I held my breath for the answer. If he was involved than my judgment of people was crap.

  Gage sat up, indignant. “I would never let my brother get involved. He’s not part of it. I did it for him, so we could get away.”

  Relief drained some of the tension in my shoulders, but confusion throbbed in my head.

  “It was my dad. His family, his life. He was in prison for most of my life, but when he got out, he helped out.”

  I didn’t want to know the details. I didn’t want to hear names. But I had to ask, “You’re not involved anymore?”

  He swallowed. “My dad died. I still talk to my uncle sometimes, but they understand that’s not the life I want. They're not bad people.”

  I nodded and stood up. Still unsure, but feeling slightly better. “Alright. Thank you.”

  “Wait.” He stood up. “Silas said you were moving gyms. Don’t do that because of me.” The corner of his mouth tugged up, just barely. “I promise not to breathe on you.”

  I eyed him skeptically, my own smile mirroring his. “You better not. Now that I know you and Silas are partners, I know you have to behave. Silas said I could do big things and that would benefit both of you. You can’t afford to push me away.”

  He crossed his arms, full of smug confidence. “I can afford,” he stretched out the word afford, “to do whatever I want. But I won’t, because you don’t want me too.”

  ***

  Aliya held tight to the bottle while Zoe tugged at the wine opener until the cork slid out.

  "Now I remember why we always get the boxed kind." Zoe untwisted the cork from the screw.

  Aliya giggled, already loose from wine with dinner. "But this is a special occasion. We have a new roommate." Her smile turned to a pout as she faced me. "But you're not even drinking. We're supposed to be celebrating together."

  I held up my water glass. "I'm celebrating. Tonight's been fun and dinner was great."

  Leona stood up. "Thank you. You can thank my mom though; I had her cook the empanadas."

  "So Rea, will we be seeing that police friend of yours around?" Aliya questioned as she refilled her wine glass.

  I sat on the couch with Leona. Zoe sat with her legs curled under her, on the opposite couch. She held up her glass and Aliya topped it off and sat down next to her. All three of them watched me, waiting for my answer.

  I had forgotten that they saw us kiss that day in the snow. I shook my head. "No, don't worry, he probably won't be around."

  Leona's eyebrow went up. "Really? That's a shame because he was really cute."

  "Especially in that uniform," Aliya added.

  Zoe set her glass down. "A police officer? You were dating one? Is that why you didn't go with Gage the other night at the bar?"

  The questions stumped me. It took a minute to regain composure, and I wanted to laugh. These girls were excited about me possibly dating an enforcer of the law. Nan would have kicked me out on the spot. Maybe things really could change.

  Aliya spoke up first. "Ooh that's right, why wouldn't you go with Gage? He is, like, the hottest guy and super sexy."

  "He also had two other girls with him that night," I responded and then regretted it; that made it sound like I would have went with him. "Plus, he's too bossy."

  Aliya smirked. "He could boss me around any day. You wouldn't mind would you? If I hooked up with him?"

  Leona rolled her eyes. "It's never going to happen. He barely talks to you."

  Aliya crossed her arms with a huff. "There's always a chance, especially with our Atlantic City trip next week." She stared off in exaggerated dreaminess. "How I would love to be one of the girls he chooses after he wins. God, I can't even imagine how hot that would be. I'm getting wet just thinking about it."

  "Eww," Zoe knocked her over with a pillow.

  Aliya giggled and sat back up, eyebrows raised to me. "You wouldn't mind then, right?"

  "No. Do whatever you want." I tried to excuse the way my stomach turned sour thinking of her with him. It was probably the way she was excited to be chosen out of many that got to me. She could do better than that.

  "Is there anyone you're interested in?" Zoe asked me, sweeping her eyes to Leona.

  I shrugged. "The police officer, Anthony is his name. He's a friend, but maybe." I don't know why I said that. Except I wanted to talk to these girls, and they had been excited by him. And I wanted to deny any attraction to Gage. There was also the look between Zoe and Leona; I needed to make it clear there was nothing with Dexter either.

  "You should tell her what you told me, Leona. Get rid of any tension tonight so we can all get along," Zoe advised.

  I sat back, waiting. I thought I knew where this was going.

  Leona stood up with a nod. "Come with me for a minute, so we can talk."

  I followed her to her bedroom down the hall. She sat on her bed and I sat on the rolling chair at her desk.

  "You get along really well with Dexter. I've been trying to brush it off as nothing; I'm not usually the jealous type. I mean, Dexter gets along with everyone. I've talked to him about it and he explained your connection, about the attack, that I shouldn't worry, you two are just friends. But I wanted to make sure you weren't mistaking it for more."

  I frowned as her words sunk in. "He's nice, but only a friend. What did he tell you about our connection?"

  She waved her hand. "Just that because he was there that night when you were attacked he feels a bit like your protector. He wants to make sure you're okay."

  I hated that I hadn't picked up on that. He was another person who wanted to keep me safe. I didn't want that. I wanted someone that was my friend, simply to be my friend.

  Running my hand through my hair, I responded, "You don't have to worry about me and him. It's like he said. Also, I would never do that to you, to anyone."

  She stood up with a smile. "I'm glad we had this talk then. Can I ask a favor though?" at my nod she continued, "Can you try not to be alone with him. That way there can never be any doubt."

  I nodded. "Sure, I'll try."

  ***

  I pulled the phone away from my ear; Anthony's voice was loud.

  "...The date has been set for next month, March 25th. I'll be there to testify. You should be getting information soon. I know Detective Andres wanted to get a hold of you. Have you given her this number?"

  "Not yet. I'll give her a call tomorrow." I sat in my empty bedroom with only a bed for furniture.

  I gripped the soft blankets, unsure how to feel. The date for court had finally been set, but it didn't cause excitement or relief. It was a dark hole, with fear hiding in the shadows. That's what those boys had done, released the fear that I had always locked away. And now it plagued me during the night.

  "So, I know I'll at least see you next month then," Anthony spoke soft. I had to press the phone back to my ear.

  I was too lost in my thoughts to respond.

  "Unless you want to see me sooner?" he said after a moment of silence.

  "Maybe. That wouldn't be bad." I didn't know what I wanted anymore. But I knew I felt comfortable with him. He took me just the way I was, and I liked that.

  I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm off on Thursday."

  After hanging up with Anthony I tried to call Nan again. I had tried twice already. It went to voicemail and dread swirled in me. It was normal for her not to answer, but I wanted to hear from her. I wanted to make sure she was alright. The last time I saw her she seemed so weak, and I was no longer sure she could stand up for herself, especially with Damien. And I couldn't really blame her for not le
aving with Gage and me; we had both been shocked and scared that day.

  ***

  I had my head back, drinking deeply from my water bottle after my workout. My muscles were drained, and I wanted to fall over flat. But Gage walking towards me made me stay standing, stiffening my spine.

  I busied myself by picking up my towel and wiping my face. I didn't want to watch him as he made his way over, but I couldn’t pull my eyes off him. He was in a tank top and his arms were distracting, especially the half sleeve of dark tattoo's on one.

  "Silas told me about the offer. How are you feeling about that?"

  I nodded, avoiding eye contact. Silas told me this morning that a local sports store wanted to photograph me in their clothes. It would help advertise for the gym as well, plus I needed professional pictures to advertise fights. The photo shoot was in two weeks.

  I took another sip of water before answering. "Another part of boxing I hadn't expected. But I guess it's a good thing."

  "You'd be surprised how many photo shoots you're going to be a part of. I've done a few myself."

  My lips pressed together to hide my smile. I might have to Google that later.

  "Silas also told me he wants to keep you at this lower weight class. You'll have a better chance at earning a title."

  I nodded. Silas had already told me this. "I've got to get ready for work now."

  "I can help. I can show you some simple recipes, take you shopping..." He shrugged and the corner of his lip tugged up. "After all, you are a good investment for the gym."

  I eyed him, skeptical of his intentions.

  His eyes shifted to the door, narrowing. "Hold on," he murmured as he walked past me.

  A young teen boy had just walked in. He was dressed in street clothes, a puffy coat and skinny jeans positioned low to show off his boxers. He wore a Ravens hat over his braids and his face was twisted with anger.

  Gage grabbed his arm and the boy shook his head, saying something as they both walked back to Silas's office.

  I sat on the bench behind me, needing to rest. I couldn't stop my creeping suspicion, but I tried to push it away. Whatever was going on, I would stay out of it. Everything would be fine as long as I stayed out of whatever Silas and Gage were doing.

  The more I thought about what Gage told me the other day, the more questions I had. The biggest one was about the guns. Silas had one the night I was jumped, and Gage had brought one to Nan's.

  Gage came back out of the office with the boy. The teen turned around to face him and said something while simultaneously pulling up his pants. Gage pushed the back of his head in a teasing way and looked in my direction. He held up his finger, signaling the boy to wait and came over to me.

  "I have to go. But we'll talk later."

  Doubt must have shown on my face because Gage sat next to me and nodded in the direction of the kid. "I have to take him back to school. He got mad and walked out."

  My eyebrows popped up in surprise. "Oh," I said lamely.

  Gage smiled. "I help at a sports camp for boys during the summer. That's how I met Javon. He's a good kid, but sometimes he needs a little guidance." He shrugged, and his blue eyes lit up. "I'll see you later then?"

  I leaned back, stunned. This man was full of surprises. "Alright."

  18: Not Breathing

  GAGE MOVED AROUND THE KITCHEN, OPENING AND closing each cabinet.

  I sat back at the table as he made his inventory of the place. I hadn’t checked out most of the pantry myself yet.

  “Dude, you can’t just go through people’s cabinets like that. It’s rude,” Dexter complained, running his hands over his buzzed cut hair.

  Gage turned to look at his brother. “I’ve got to see what they’ve got, to know what they need.” His tone was condescending, which I hated, but he was right, which I also hated.

  “I don’t have anything. You’re looking through everyone else’s stuff.”

  He leaned back on the counter, arms crossed, and nodded. “Fine. Then let’s go shopping.”

  Dexter groaned. “It’s already ten, why do you have to go now?”

  Gage nodded his head towards me. “She works crazy hours. We were supposed to do this yesterday, but didn’t. What are you going to eat tomorrow? What did you eat for dinner tonight?” He eyed me, waiting on my answer.

  I shrugged. “Let’s go to the store then.” I had been eating leftovers from work, not the best of choices I knew.

  After shopping and unloading groceries, Gage left with a promise to show me how to meal plan tomorrow. Dexter was staying the night with Leona, so he was charged with making sure I ate breakfast, not that I needed him to enforce it. I wanted to make sure I was in good shape before my photo shoot and future fights, and I was more than willing to take Gage’s advice on this topic. His body was proof that the man knew what he was talking about.

  ***

  “It does taste better with the lime,” Gage agreed as he took a bite of his lunch.

  I sat back in the chair with a small victory smile. I had suggested adding lime to the avocado salad.

  We had been cooking and packaging up meals I could grab on the go, and surprisingly Gage had been very professional the entire time. He never got too close, and he never ordered me around too harshly. He had been a good teacher.

  “Thank you for your help. I feel prepared now. It’s good.” Who would have thought cooking could make me feel so accomplished. But as I took a bite of the salad, I felt a burst of pride. I had cooked before, but not like this.

  Leona came into the kitchen, scarf and jacket on. “Mm, it smells good in here. Can I grab some food? I have to get to class, but I’m starving.”

  “Sure,” I said as she filled a Tupperware container.

  “Dex should be back from class soon if you’re waiting for him,” Leona directed to Gage on her way out the door.

  The room was silent after the door slammed shut, and I was all too aware that we were alone in the house. I had been fine around him while we were cooking, but now the familiar swirl of tension in my muscles returned. A feeling that only Gage caused.

  I stood up with my plate and went to the sink.

  “That’s all you’re eating?” he asked, remaining seated.

  “I'd been snacking while we cooked,” I mumbled, as I busied myself with cleaning up the leftovers.

  “Are all your roommates at class?” His voice was low.

  I thought I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t turn to find out. I started loading the dishwasher. “Yes. But Dexter, Zoe, and Aliya should be getting back soon.”

  “Why aren’t you in school?”

  I straightened up and shook my head, my back still to him. “I work instead.” I tried to deflect the shame I felt; I hadn’t even finished high school. “Why aren’t you?”

  “Life didn’t work that way for me.”

  I turned at his words, meeting his eyes, and nodded in complete understanding. “Yeah, me neither.”

  After a moment, I forced myself to ask the question I couldn’t stop thinking about. “You work at a summer camp for youth?”

  He cocked his head, that cocky glint in his eye that he always gets when he corrects me. “I volunteer my time there. I don’t need extra money, and they help a lot of kids, kids that would otherwise get into trouble. I mentor a few during the school year, like Jovan.”

  A wall within me cracked. I physically felt it and it hurt. He didn’t have to say it, but I knew he helped kids like the ones we used to be. Maybe like I still was.

  The rumble of an engine pulled up in the driveway. The others had returned.

  Gage broke eye contact first and cleared his throat as he brought his plate over to the sink.

  Dexter came barreling in the door as Aliya chased him.

  ***

  Anthony stood from the bar as I walked towards him. “You ready to go now?”

  “As long as you don’t mind that I smell like grease.” I looked down at my shirt that had a few stains on
it from various spills tonight.

  The restaurant had been slammed, but I couldn’t complain since my pocket was full.

  “I could take you to your place to changed.” He held the door open for me as we walked out into the chilly night.

  I eyed him with suspicion.

  “What? I could find out where you live easily enough, remember my job? And you’re going to want me to drop you off there tonight, right?”

  I paused; he was right. I hadn’t thought much about what our new arrangement would be, but I didn’t need to sleep at his place anymore. A slight pang of sadness flashed; I had gotten use to his warm body next to mine.

  “What did you have planned for tonight?” I asked

  He smiled, opening his truck door for me. “I was hoping we could do something, like bowling, or pool, or go to the movies.”

  I had a moment to think as he rounded the truck to slide into the driver’s seat. This new territory was making me feel nauseous, or maybe that was the smell of onion drifting off my shirt.

  “I should change before we do anything,” I relented.

  “Stay here. I’ll be right back,” I ordered when we pulled up in front of the house. There were some lights on, but Zoe’s car was gone.

  Aliya was sitting on the couch and I waved to her as I passed by to my room. A few moments later, a couple of car doors slammed, followed by the front door, and several giggles.

  I shoved my legs into jeans and slid a long sleeve t-shirt on.

  “Rea?” Leona yelled.

  “Out in a minute.” I ran a brush through my hair and exited my room.

  “Is your cop out in that truck?” Zoe asked.

  My stomach clenched, but I nodded. “We’re just leaving.”

  Aliya hopped off the couch and ran outside, more gazelle than girl.

  I followed behind her. The idea of these two worlds meeting felt like a head on collision.

  Aliya leaned into his window, and her voice travelled in the thin night air. “Come on in for a little bit. We’d love the company.”